I am a girl by sufferance

I am a girl by sufferance. I was not born a girl, didnt have a girlhood to learn the nuances of being a girl. I do not believe I really "pass" as a girl by any objective standard. So I am a girl by sufferance. My girlhood can be taken from me by words - "Him", "Sir" or my male name. It can be taken from me by actions - isolation, rejection, contempt. No "natural" girl will ever know what that feels like, to be "tolerated" like I'm some crazy person that no one has the energy to argue with. At times, this constant struggle to be simply be treated as a girl gets me down, and I despair of it ever changing. And yet I cannot give in to that despair, I have to find the strength to keep going because the alternative is unthinkable. That is only possible because of all the love and support I've been getting here and elsewhere online, as well as those in my real life. To all those people, I can only say thank you.

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