Darnit another nap and tada another story unfolds....
It was every boys dream to be in a pirate movie. Ok well not really but to me it certianly was. To get to visit the Pirates of the Carrabian movie shooting set of port royal was so great. I saved for months to go down there. I watched every movie of it like so many times I had gone through 3 dvd players and a dozen copies of dvds.
But here I was finally. I was soo excited and today on the tour it was announced that for a fee we could get dressed in period clothing and go around in it. I was in heaven!
One problem. They didn't accept my debit/visa card. I was devastated and was going around the various little stores that had popped up with movie trinkets and what not, trying to find someone to give me the cash from my card.
It was like watching my dream turn to ash I was so hurt after I was turned away time and time again. Finnaly at the end of an old gravel road was this little hut. In the window was the sign that offered my salvation. I entered this shop not paying the least attention to what was around. I had been through many places with movie trinkets of all sorts and was immune to it.
I almost ran to the counter where a familiar machine was and waited impatiently for the shop keeper. She did finnaly appear through a beaded curtain and looked like she had stepped out of the movie as that fishwife, who was the goddess calipso. She even sorta talked like her.
"And what brings you ere this day?" She asked the accent was thick.
"I want to be in that pirate movie" I said innocently enough.
She looked at me and said quite clearly. " As a mahn or a womahn?"
Thinking she was joking, since I was like 6feet 2 inches and 240 pounds of muscle and fat. I replied" As a woman of quality of course"
In hindsight I should not have said it with a straight face. But I pulled out my card and Said I needed about 300 american dollars. What it wasn't cheap for period costumes!
"Is dis what you really wish for. Be warned you cannot return if this is done." I just assumed she meant no return on cash advance from card. So yeah of course.
"I am sure"
"Very well" with that she went into a little skit to impress me. Which it did and would have left a tip.
"Tis done!" She said as she pulled out the cash I had asked for. Strange I didn't see a drawer pop open nor a ding which accompanies it. I paid it no nevermind and took my cash and almost ran back to the docks in my rush. I kept tripping however which was strange I am usually quite surefooted. The last time I was headed face first for a bit of concrete and instintivly put out my hands.
Imagine my surprise when said Hands encountered not concrete but grass.
"M'lady are you alright?" Huh what who is that englishman talking too. Me I am no lady are you daft...*daft* what the hells...
" I am fine good sir" emerges from my mouth to my horror. It was an english ladies voice.
I am helped to my feet, I am noticably quite shorter and delicately boned. On my wrist is a period ladies draw string purse with lots of lace. My gown is like that fine gown Elizabeth Swan wears at the end of the first movie in cream but this one has roses and longer lace. The feel of the whale bone corset is very tight and breathing is obviously a problem. I brush the grass off my dress as if it is something I have done all my life. I almost black out for my efforts corsets are NOT made for bending to brush oneself off. My breasts are on display and painfully squished. Another minus for a corset.
"M'lady your coif." and this handsome, please tell me I just didnt say that, hands me this delicate lace and sort of flat paperish thing.. What the bloody hell am I supposed to do with this?
"M'lady I beg your pardon, but if we do not make haste will be late for your tea with the Lady Swann."
Oh My GOD!! This is not from the movie.. This is not a movie. This is real.. and I cannot breathe. Oh is this what fainting feels like...