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The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") 
Blog #45: Reunited with my Sweater, or Whatinheck's Wrong with the Weather!?! To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs |
Moe and I are back home and found our house to have been meticulously cleaned as only my ma is capable of. Kitchen, living room, bathrooms all spic n span, and bed clothes nice n crisp n clean (I know ma did the wash coz the sheets smell faintly of Huggies), front n back yards clean and well raked (probably Dad) and a note on the living room table saying that two of the microwavable "Friends" mugs got broken (Aha! That's my sister!).
Anyway, the at-home feeling came back slowly and we settled in. But what didn't come back was how the weather felt. Egads, it's cold!!
So Moe n I broke out a couple of our long-unused sweaters, and made plans to pick a nice n wooly sweater ensemble for work the following day. But why was it so friggin cold all of a sudden? I checked the thermometer. It was a nice eighty degrees. Eh?
It's obviously a case of acclimitization. Maybe after a few days, we'll start feeling more at home.
Anyway, going to the office, I tried to avoid looking like I was bundling up, and though I wore a sweater dress, I decided to just wear opaque tights (they were 100-denier leggings though - almost as good as thermal tights).
I made my rounds at the office, distributing some souvenirs to a few of the girls (it was becoming a tradition with me) - nothing expensive, keychains and little pieces of costume jewelry that, though they looked exotic and expensive, they were each ridiculously cheap (but I won't tell them that, of course heehee). I also saw a couple of new faces (temps, Sammi said).
Anyway, everyone appeared to be glad to see me back, and I eventually got caught up in the daily nonsense of officework.
My tan seemed to be such a novelty with everyone, and they all said I looked great. I pshawed the compliments (though inside I was preening like a little kid) and told them some stories over lunch of how it was over there.
As I got caught up in the day, I couldn't help but feel how everything was so... off. Everything was so big, everyone seemed so tall (and me so small), the light a touch dimmer, and everyone seemed to be moving a little slow. I couldn't help notice how, well, bundled up everyone was, and then realized that it wasn't them but it was me. And everyone was so... well, pastey (no offense, of course).
In a way, it was like I was on a different planet, like I was on some planet full of big, pastey-looking aliens bundled up in bulky sweaters et cetera, and all smelling faintly of... antiseptic. But I shifted my paradigm and realized that I was actually the "alien" among them, using the parallelism.
I didn't like it. Not at all.
I realized, in some remote way, that I was indeed the odd-one-out, and I didn't like that. Fighting a lifetime of stereotyping and being pigeonholed as the weird one - I didn't like it. Being made the exception was something I have always wanted to escape.
But then everyone came over to say hi, even those I wasn't close to found some pretense to come visit me over some form, report or other. And they all commented on my tan, about me looking so great and so well-toned, to say thanks for the little trinket I gave, or whatever.
Then I realized, being given attention for being different can be either a bad thing or a good thing (as in this case). As most of us here are wont to do, we tend to automatically look for the bad or negative, for whatever reason, and it takes a while for the good things to percolate through our brains and realize that, hey, it's pretty okay here, after all. And as I mulled that little epiphany over, I thought, hey, perhaps everything is all in how you view things. Hmmm... Gives a deeper dimension to looking at the world, doesn't it, and what the future holds for you.
I spent a little time googling some quotes that seem apropos:
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." (William Shakespeare) "Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." (William Jennings Bryan) "If you do not create your destiny, you will have your fate inflicted upon you." (William Irwin Thompson)
I think it's stupid to not see the sunnier side, or if not apparent, to search it out. It might be difficult to see the greener grass on the other side of the street, but it only takes some effort, some practice, and then one will always find it. I think Jack Welch said something which best says what I want to say: "Control your own destiny or someone else will." Meaning to say, hey, if you want to feel down, well it's your own darn fault. Don't wait for it to be given. Take the reins of your life and go out and find it. Attitude is key. Be a Debbie Downer if you want. Me, I don't want to be.
It took me a while for my pov to adjust, but eventually, I got used to things. Again.
And to think this was all brought on by my being reunited with my sweater...
Still... it's sooo cooold!!!
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Comments
No Humidity!
Our equatorial climates wrap us in glorious humidity. 80F/27C is a lovely temperature in Manila or Singapore. Just balmy. You probably went from 80%-85% humidity to 50%. Makes everything crisp,
Joanne
Choice...
...Like Frodo, there are many days when I lament what has beset me; my health; my gender issues; the past? All things that are like a ring to bear; even my cross, some might say? But I recall the words of Gandalf, when I look at my 'fate.'
So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.
Perhaps a bit florid, but still very true. We have to decide what to do with the time that is given us. I decided long ago that I was going to 'keep going,' since, as a very wise young lady reminds me, 'as long as you're moving forward, you're doing alright.' We all have things that can be more than just hard, but truly lamentable, I suppose. I choose to use the things of my life to encourage and support, just as I've received encouragement myself. I guess it's my turn to dig out that sweater from the back of my closet, aye? Thanks, Bobbie.
Love, Andrea Lena
You picked...
You just picked the wrong week to come back... We already had summer. :-)
As you're friends probably told you (and you may recall) our weather has been a tad crazy this year.
That feeling of not fitting - when returning after being way for awhile. It can sneak up on you, or it can stand there like a wall. I can remember many times in my life where I've into it (to varying degrees)... When I got out of the Navy and returned to Civilian life... Whenever I travel to MS to visit my parents... It's not what we've gotten used to, and those around us don't have the same background / context.
Glad you found the silver lining (if that's what it is. Though, it occurs to me that a silver lined sweater might not be all that comfortable...).
Thanks for sharing.
Annette