Andy's Diary Background

First -- the diary is very autobiographical. My mother ruled the roost with an iron hand and used terror to control me. I was subject to bullying not only at home but from her. She also bullied my father. He was largely absent from my day to day life because he was working as well as attending night school 3 nights a week to get his MBA. He never knew what went on until I was 25 years old, some 12 years later, and by that time I was so deep in my substance abuse that it didn't matter. As it happens in so many cases of abuse, it was a secret, held by the thought placed in my head that punishments from my father would be even worse if he found out his son was a fairy.

It has taken much intestinal fortitude and soul searching for me to be able to forgive. I now feel sorry for both of them.

As I stated in my overview, everything in the two parts really did happen. The events took place between age 13 and age 16 for me. They took place in the early 1970s. I did keep a diary of them. The diary was illustrated with pictures cut from the various catalogs, with a photocopied cut out of my head from my school picture pasted over the girls heads. I had days of intense terror, but moments of extreme bliss.

I have to ask, how would I expect a parent of the 1970s to react to son who wants to crossdress. It was surely a shock to her in that somewhat unenlightened time. That said, though, her reactions and the abuse was wrong.

One though that I have is to write a part 3 which is the diary on an alternate plane of existence, where there is full acceptance. I don't know if my heart could stand it though.



Click Like, Love or Thank to appropriately show your appreciation for this post: