Interesting Article in today's Guardian

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Angharad

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Love / Sex / Dating / Relationships

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This article is quite interesting in that some of it applies to us as well. See what you think.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/nov/02/gay-marr...

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Not T, a Woman.

For reasons that I do not fully understand, I am quite militant about not wanting to be seen as T. So, I understand why this man might feel the way he does.

So many of the groupies in the GBLT organizations are like all about being what ever they call themselves. I think that many of us just want to stop with the labels and get on with life.

I find a few...

I find a few things in the article "disturbing"... In that, while they may be accurate for that individual, they don't reflect the larger body of people...

1) He decided to be gay.
2) He said he was "playing a part".
3) He enjoyed the attention he got from "coming out".
4) Deciding he wasn't gay any more even though he was in a same-sex relationship.

He seemed to feel that "gay" was an identity, as some trans people seem to think that's an identity (one identity or several - depending on who you talk to). The last point, is the one I think most "honest"... In that there seems to be both a "gay lifestyle" which CAN be chosen, and living in a "same-sex" relationship which is much harder. Yes, there's overlap, but it's not a one-to-one relationship!

Personally, i think people are people. Some of us have issues with the gender we were assigned at birth (many reasons), some have issues with how they're 'allowed' to present, some with who they're attracted to. But, in essence all people.

Personally, I accept I'm transgender/transsexual now - and have been since I understood there was a word that described what I felt and was going through. But, eventually, I would prefer the world accept me as a woman. Oh, I know I'll have some issues that other women don't have, but some of them have issues other women don't have.

But, to the article... I think it does as much harm as it might possibly help with the points raised above. Thanks for sharing this. It raises issues which are worth thinking about and talking about.

Annette

The Cost Was Too High.

I "insist" on being a woman because the cost of the ticket was far too high. Astonishingly, I get incensed in public if someone introduces me as a T woman, and I don't know if that that is called transference or what. I know that there is considerable suppressed anger about the whole matter.

Some well meaning idiot female friend of mine sent me a link to an on line broadcast about Kate Bornstein. One of the things that pissed me off about the broadcast is that she says she is gay. We have similar diagnosisies, but vastly different life styles. She was a collared slave for several years with two women, I wanted to be a collared slave but with a big, gentle, huggy, but firm guy. It was a fantasy that never happened. She let these women cut her to ribbons. I tried cutting myself for a little while but decided it was too creepy.

I don't want to be under that label.

Decided What??

I think the external pressure and his resilience to resist it is being pushed to his personnel limits.

I do not think he decided he was gay, he discovered that he was. But being excited that he was being abused realy expresses a part of his personality he needs to examine closer. I support that definitions come from with in the person not from the outside of the person. It is only violent bullies and there sadistic cowardly supporters who profit from this, then it is up to the rest of us to keep plugging away in our attempt to move the human race away from this cave man style of thinking into a better healthier foundation. Where people can simply be who they are and not sweat this insane inane garbage.

Thank you Angharad for bring this to us.
And Kate Bornstean I wish you the best in finding your self. A message from an old friend

Huggles one and all
Michele

With those with open eyes the world reads like a book