The first dose...

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I had given up on my previous endocrinologist, with good riddance. Two of the three visits I made to her office I left feeling pretty bad about myself, and I was already pretty low. Anyone that has been tracking my blogs know that I was pretty near to giving up on life.

So, following the advice of my gender therapist, I went with another doc. This one has a excellent reputation for being extremely up beat. So I scheduled an appointment, and made it day before yesterday. He is every bit the sweetheart my friends said he was, I think he understands the real misery a lot of us are going through. He treats MtF like girls, it is very effective, even charming.

I had stayed up for long hours due to the therapist and doc, so I held up a day until I could get the dosages sorted, and bought a AM/PM pill dispenser. The only thing I seem to be willing to do different that a lot of other t-girls is patience. I want to do this right the first time.

I'm still in full male mode, though I have tried dressing en fem. This is slowly changing, and I am still struggling to loosing the weight. I was down to 185 pounds (from 240), but with the cold weather (Jenn C mentioned it in her blog) has kept me from long walks, so I have gained a few pounds. It is odd, I used to be pretty cold weather resistant, but with weight loss I have become a real wimp. I am always freezing.

Having made the decision that I was close enough (and I am not going to stop loosing the weight, this is a temporary setback) a funny thing happened. I have been depressed for over 10 years, I woke up a couple of days ago and it was gone. It felt very strange, but it was great! I have lost the giddy feeling, but I still haven't gone back. So far so good!

The current blend I will (am) taking is the standard spiro (100mg/dose) twice a day, estradiol (2mg/dose) twice a day, progesterone (10mg) once a day, and finasteride (5 mg) once a day. I'm throwing in 1000 IU of vitamin D-3 for good measure, and I will probably add one a day woman's vitamins.

Looks like I might finally get to grow a pair. :D Unfortunately, my mom was fairly small breasted, so I will just have to wait to see where it goes. Still...

I'll give it a few months at work. I am out to a lot of people already, about 25%. No bad experiences yet (some confusion), but I don't expect it to last (this being Texas). The other side is, having heard advice and horror stories from the other girls in my support group, I had come out to HR early. This seems to be one of my better decisions, they have had a diversity training class spelling out what is not acceptable (and what is). What are the odds a workplace like mine would have two trans coming out nearly the same time? It is like winning the lottery.

I don't remember if I mentioned this story. A newly hired girl was presenting as male, I thought I recognized the signs, so I asked her if she had heard of GEAR (the local Dallas trans support group) and Dallas Resource Center (the LGBt allience). She reluctantly admitted she had. "Well," I said, "looks like we have something in common. I'm trans too." He and I have been very close ever since, kind of our own personal support group at work. I've said this before, but life is strange sometimes.

Comments

I am so happy for you Wendy

I am so happy for you Wendy keep me posted. One day I will get there with you.


I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

this is great news

I am so happy for you Wendy. I found that just making the decision to start HRT was a huge change in I the entire way I dealt with life. And then the big surprise, was that after the first month on it, even the extreme chemical depression I had began to leave. Not having to fight that on a daily basis made even the worst loss seem possible.

GEAR is such a great organization for those of us in the Dallas area. I eventually hope we can get a branch of it in Fort Worth, but I am set either way. I live in the Mid-Cities for a reason. ~wink~

I wonder how many other of us Texas girls are out there? I'm starting to think enough for us to have our own BCTS get together.

Bright Blessings,
Cassie Ellen

10 mile walk

I worked my way up to, and now I have done it. Not sure I'll do a repeat performance, but I probably will.

It is my strategy for when my weight stalls out, and I have been bouncing between 185 and 190 for the last two weeks.

I bought a GPS pedometer to keep me honest. It is a good thing, I'd be claiming 15 miles otherwise.

Here are the stats...

10.32 miles
22070 steps
3.53 hours

If someone wants to walk to loose weight, build yourself up slow. I did. I am aiming for 170, and hoping for 160 or less (but I will not destroy my health doing it).