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Friends,
Three weeks ago, today, my life changed. My beloved Tiggress went in for a CT Scan of her abdominal area. Yesterday, we had the first of what the oncologist said would be a lifetime of chemotherapy for Phase IV stomach cancer. They drained over a liter of fluid from her abdominal sack and it was cancerous. In addition, both her ovaries have been turned to the Dark Side, as well. In the past three weeks, we have been in more hospitals and clinics than we have in the past 30 years. She's currently walking around with something that looks like Spock's original Tricorder over her shoulder as it pumps more meds into her.
I tried to write a story about this whole thing - trying to find the happy ending the oncologist tells me would be nothing short of a miracle, and right now, it just isn't in me. I've purged some really dark emotions, but they seem to just come back, and rereading what I wrote only makes it worse. I guess it really is true that "one aw-sh*t really does wipe out a thousand atta-boys." I hope it is only that bad.
Right now, I'm watching her be brave for my sake and dealing with not being able to do anything more than be there when she calls. Thankfully, she's not in pain or anything, but the cancer is impeding the flow of food to her intestines so she can't eat very much at one time and what she does eat doesn't taste very good.
Anyway, Erin and Sephy have my permission to keep posting my stuff here - anything on any website, including TnB, that is my work, they can repost here. There just isn't anything in me that's new that I'd want to read, let along share.
I'll still be around - I need the diversion that a happy story can bring, but otherwise, I'm going to be too busy trying to find enough sugar to turn this ocean of lemons into sweet lemonade.
Blessings on you all. Prayers, warm thoughts and focused meditations greatly appreciated.
warm furry hugs
Tiggs
Comments
My Prayers and thoughts are with you and your Tiggress
I wish i could give you more Tigger,
Hugs and more hugs so you can share them with your Mrs.
Diana
I too wish for prayers and any blessings to come your way.
I really and truly hope for that little chance miracle.
*Big Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
And my prayers also...
my heart breaks for you both. God bless you.
Love, Andrea Lena
My love and healing.
Goes to the both of you during this episode of illness. I will pray for relief and full recovery from this situation.
Love
Huggles
Michele
With those with open eyes the world reads like a book
Best wishes
Tigger and his Tigress,
You're not alone in this as many of the Big Closet and other sites you have written and been published in/on are behind you and send best wishes and LOVE your way. Take care of your Tigress!
HUGS!
T.J.
My best wishes
Sympathy and prayers go out to you and yours Tigger.
Maggie
Best Wishes, Tigress
Hello Tiger and Tigress
We all know that life ends, but for those of us who live and love, it's a bitch!
I wish you both my very best, even though I understand that I am as helpless to provide aid or comfort as are you. I can only suggest that you hold each other even more closely, such that your last days together will be the best days of your life.
I'm sure I speak for many, when I say my heart breaks for you.
Red MacDonald
Hugs
Warm hugs back at you and yours, Tigger.
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Hugs My Favorite Tigger!
*Hugging you tightly* please be brave! None of us ever likes to face what you are now facing, but you will not be doing it alone. I will be with you in prayers and reachable by phone if you ever need me.
PM me please if you need me.
Sephrena
You and your Tiggress are in my prayers...
I trust God still hears this old reprobate.
God bless you both, and give you strength,
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!
Biggest and most
gentle of hugs back to you Tigger and your Tigeress. My best hopes and prayers are with you both.
Grover
Best of Luck
We'll all be praying your miracle comes.
Melanie E.
My thoughts are with you both...
I can only say how sorry I am to hear about your Tiggress! I will keep you both in my thoughts and hope for remission! My own better half was diagnosed with APL Leukemia in 1994 and we thought that she wouldn't make it through that. However she went into remission after 2 months in the hospital taking chemo and blood transfusions and now has been in remission for over 18 years! I very very much hope that your Tiggress has the very same outcome Tigger!!
My thoughts are with you both
and I hope for a positive outcome for you both.
with best wishes,
Angharad
Angharad
Wishing you and your lady good luck.
Hello.
I have had no occassion to communicate with you before, perhaps because I have a reader's version of being bashful around someone I respect and think highly of. I have read some of your stories. What comes to mind right now are the stories "Fornever In Blue Jeans" and "A Study In Satin," both of which are on my list of all-time TS-TG favorites.
But everything has to have a beginning. So I say hello. Given where you are right now, I might not have a chance again, and to be able to express how much I like your work, and that I wish I could write half as well as you.
I read what you just posted regarding your lady. When you said Stage 4 Cancer, I felt a chill. But you are right - a miracle cannot be ruled out. There are many stories nowadays about people who come back from the brink and are able to beat cancer, even Stage 4 cancer. So there is a possibility.
And I know that any platitudes I, or anyone for that matter, can say will sound hollow right now, so I'll just say that I wish you and your lady luck, and hopefully, you two can hold on to hope, however slim it may be.
- Bobbie
To read my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c
Be Strong For Her
All you can do is be as strong as she clearly is. She's going to need that.
Wishing with all my heart that the two of you can still enjoy plenty of good times together
hugs
hugs and pray for the best.
robert
An ocean of Lemons?
If you don't get enough sugar to turn it ALL into lemonade, can I have a few of the lemons? I just love to squeeze the juice all over my prawns and lobster and oysters... ^_^
My prayers are with both of
My prayers are with both of you too.
Praying for you and the lovly Tiggress
Tigger,
I am so sorry to hear about your wife's condition. A few year back I lost my sister to colon cancer after a long battle. I pray for a better outcome for you. I'm going to do it right here. I beg the indulgence of any non-Christian who may read this, but I think at a time like this we need to put our differences aside.
Here goes:
Lord, I hold up Tigger and his Tiggress to you. You Lord know the extent of what she is fighting. Lord, your name is above the name of cancer. You, Lord, have dominion over cancer. In the name of Jesus I speak to that cancer and say you are cursed and I command cancer in the lovely Tiggress to wither and die. In the name of Jesus I command cancer in the lovely Tiggress to be expelled from her body.
And Lord, send ministering angels to comfort Tigger and his Tiggress. Give them strength Lord. String to hold on; strength to fight the good fight; strength to come through victorious. Lord, I call on you as the healer. Lord, please act according to your sovereign will in such a way that no one can deny that your grace it she only explanation for her recovery. Lord, let your name be glorified through all this.
In Jesus name... Amen.
I know this is an unusual place and way to pray, but I want you, Tigger, to see the words and to gain strength from them. I've called on the strongest name I know to come to your aid. God bless you and yours in your time of need.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
For you both ...
I'll be sending up prayers for light in your dark time.
Nicole (a.k.a. Itinerant)
--
Veni, Vidi, Velcro:
I came, I saw, I stuck around.
Tigger..
My thoughts are with you & your beloved. May the doctors be successful in working their magic. No doubt that you will be steadfast in your support of your wife no matter what it takes. Best of luck to you both.
Ruth
May the sun always shine on your parade
miracles
miracles do happen I hope & pray yours will be one of those that is answered
Richie2
... crying ...
I have read your stories and as such believe you are a dear friend. There are so many times I have cuddled with you (your stories) and a blanket and passed good times and dark times.
I wish there was something I could say, something I could do that would take the burden from you and your loved one. Please remember ... you are not alone. Do not try and carry this by yourself. There are so many here that are there for you, so please do not hesitate to pm me (or call). I am here day and night.
Store up on your hugs, cherish your good times, fondly look at pictures ... TALK with your love, be tender, be true. (I know you are). Prepare yourself dearest friend ... and pray ... as we all will too.
... I am still crying .... Do not hold your hurt in ... cry with your love.
Kendra
Kendra Manderscheid
(One step at a time is working)
Warm hugs
And my deepest sympathies to the both of you. I hope you both find the light at the end of the tunnel; (and it isn't a freight train!)
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Those who fight against it are most likely to win.
Being a stoic will kill you. As will giving up to *the inevitable*.
Those who are outraged at their cancer often have the best survival rates.
Best of luck to BOTH of you.
Take care of yourself as well, Tigger. To often the stress of caring for an ailing spouce strains the healthy one and they die.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Wise Words
Wise words from John.
Three and a half billion years of evolution has made us bloody good survival machines. We don't know how it works, but sometimes the brain just says 'I'm not having this' and the condition corrects itself.
Medical diagnoses are based on statistics. It's a case of if we observe A then the likely outcome is B*. Statistics being the naughty boys that they are, it doesn't have to be that way and sometimes it isn't.
Hang on to that, both of you.
*Don't write in. I know that's an absurd simplification.