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HOW TO INSTALL A REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots
2. Place them on your front porch along with a copy of "Guns & Ammo" magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba,
Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.
I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter
Comments
missed one item
you can get motion sensor alarms with dogs barking for inside the door.
Just make sure
you get audio of heavy chop barks ... and pit bulls, in my experience, do not howl. Bark, growl, yes ... but if they're serious, they're also silent. All you hear is the sound of enamel hitting bone. Shepard/Huskies, now ... fire engines WISH they had the kind of audio projection those dogs had on the warpath.
I'd laugh,
but I actually saw this exact scenario in place at my uncle Albert's "Manufactured Home" (alt. "House Trailer"). Only it wasn't pit bulls, it was Alsation/Husky crosses, and it wasn't the mailman, it was a not-particularily-well-regarded cousin.
Yes, I waited outside.
Yes, the cousin survived ... and bears the scars and a fairly serious limp to this day.
No, the dogs weren't destroyed.
Violent security systems at low cost!
How about a single sign that says' Home of local Taliban, if you enter beware of retribution!
LOL
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
actually
If i saw this in person I would laugh and walk into the house.
Now if the sign said chows I would be scared.
Pit bulls can't jump.
Security Sign
Trespassers will be violated.
Paula
Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.
The Coda
Chapterhouse: Dune
Actual Sign
Wildlife Safari in Winston, Oregon has its perimeter fence marked with signs that read:
No Trespassing -- Survivors will be prosecuted
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
We Have A Similar System
We've had 3 or 4 pups for a very long time; they're often in the front room, barking out the picture window or in the back yard, barking at anything they hear. Kim and I are large and medium sized butch dykes. We used to load our trunk with guns and ammo and drive to the shooting range. We've gotten rid of the guns (I think), but who knows that? We have an old motorcycle parked in front of our garage, it's covered up but visible.
I think the biggest thing keeping us secure is that (almost) everything we have is junky and falling apart. Nobody would want it enough to mess with our dog and girls!
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee