Background to the SisterDom (and Abuse)


Introduction and some personal comments; notes about Abuse

The SisterDom is a group of wonderful women who know that it is important to help their men to access and, when they are comfortable with the concept, to release their inner girlhood. These women are willing to train and transition their new-girls using a variety of simple techniques. The stories in the group involve a series of characters.

The aim of the SisterDom is to help males understand that it is not possible to be 100% masculine nor 100% feminine but rather that there is a spectrum of gender. The SisterDom is equally firm that there is a spectrum of sexuality from heterosexual to homosexual but they are less concerned with that issue.

As regards the FeMale spectrum – which they always write in this way so as to emphasise the close linkage of the two aspects – they believe in the yin-yang approach. That is to say, within even the most macho man is a speck of femininity and likewise within the most femme woman there are macho values able to be asserted. And the size of the yin-yang dot is not relevant – some are bigger, some are smaller, some are nearly 50%, some are nigh-on invisible.

The primary aim of the SisterDom is to ensure that the male is able to access his female speck; the dot of the Yin-Yang. The belief is that this will reduce the likelihood of macho ‘powergames’ from which we see so much damage and evil resulting. For the Sisters, abuse of power is one of the worst sins. This puts them into a difficult position because some of their membership do put considerable pressure on trainees ‘in order to reach their femme-core’. And pressure is easily seen as abuse – as it is the trainee-target who must decide whether their treatment is abusive or enlightening. The intention of the trainer is not relevant as to whether the physical or emotional treatment is abusive or not. [See notes on Domestic Abuse]

Generally, any trainer who is found to have behaved improperly is required to stop doing so and they have found ways to maintain such discipline.

The key aim is to help boys and men to learn restraint. Learning how to control their own behaviour will reduce the risk of abusing others by their macho behaviour. Training is designed to show them how behaving in a feminine way is not actually bad or improper but actually allows the trainee to behave in a non-damaging way while still attaining their personal objectives.

Trainees can be called new-girls, girlies, ex-boys, pretty-boys or sometimes-sisters or gurrls. The technique has variously been called girling, femming, pink-blueing or girlhood. In other centres, the SisterDom is called GirlWirld or TransFemmation.

The Glorious Sisters of the SisterDom Revolution know what it is to release the inner man. They have learnt that men are better if their inner-woman has the opportunity for display. They know how men blossom and bloom as the inner bud is cultivated. But the key is that the answer is not the same for any man.

Religion has it right when it says, as many do, that no single person is like any other. But this does also mean that to do the best for and with any single person – so that best may differ from what any other person might need – and that any differing combination of helper and helpee will also require a different package.

Counsellors are right in that any true change must come from within the changee; and that any change that is forced from outside is likely to fail. But there is a deep truth that a change that is encouraged and endorsed and welcomed has a better chance of success.

I do know that my stories are imaginary. I write and I read so much fantasy and fiction that I know one of my escapes is into the charming and interesting worlds of imagination. And I do not accept that escapism is actually wrong – provided that the problems of the real world are not ignored in favour or escape. (and I now admit that I have sometimes gone too far and not done my absolute best at the real world).

I do know that I am not perfect – but there is such a difference between ‘that wasn’t perfect but it will do’ and ‘that was poorly done’; So much difference between ‘Why didn’t you do that’ rather than ’How about next time’; so much better to receive ‘How about this suggestion’ rather than ‘That won’t work at all’.

I remembered back to my days when I first dreamt of the Sisterhood or as I later renamed it the SisterDom. Oh how I wanted someone to care without criticism. How I wanted love without reproach, support without disapproval. Isn’t that what good sisters should provide? I want to know less about cruelty, abandonment, unkindness and hurt.

I do hope that some of the stories I read about where there is truly loving support for those in pain; I hope some of these are true. But my inner certainty is all too often that the reality is so frequently hurtful. They say that ‘the truth hurts’ but that does not mean that it is only true if there is hurt. It is not true to say that Intolerance is Right; it is not true to say that Might is Right. It is not true to say that Different is Wrong.

I know some of what is good and some of what is evil. I know that decency and tolerance and kindness and all the other words that mean love, I do know these are good things. I know that this is what I write about and hope for from Sisters.

But I am coming to more certainty about what I want. I want companionship. I want friends. I really do want and need support without criticism, love without disapproval, kindness without hurt, friendship without reproach. In my escapist worlds – I often find love, caring, kindness, support, friendship. I want more of this in the real world. I know that is the Sisters were real, then often they would provide this to so many needful men.

If even ONE reader does more kindness or gets more kindness because of what I write then that is a success. And it might even mean that I am a bit of a Sister providing assisterance.

A Tangent on Domestic Abuse

If the work of the Sisters can do anything to reduce the number of unkind men or even give more women the strength not to be victims – then either of those would be a wonderful thing.

There are wildly varying statistics on domestic abuse. For the UK, Womens Aid do summarise one view of the current situation and that their objective is to end violence to women and children in the UK.

The report for 2011/12 does state :- 1.2 million women were abused in the year and 0.8 million men BUT the Police only identify 0.8 million events - [2 million people is a lot more than 0.8 m events!!].

There were some 500,000 sexual assaults of which 5 in 6 were men on women; of which 54,000 serious events were reported to the police and in that year (relating of course to older events) 1,150 men were convicted. [This is an appalling mismatch and also shows the difficulty of he-says-she-says proof.]

One often repeated and MISLEADING statistic is that – “while one in four women experience domestic violence so do one in six men”. These figures refer primarily to single criminal incidents without regard to the Severity of violence; the amount of Repetition or the Complex & Overlapping Pattern of Multiple Abuse. Even more importantly, the statement that some men sometimes suffer abuse also ignores the 5 in 6 proportion for Sexual Assault. In addition, Emotional Abuse is ignored as it is not a crime even though survivors often find it is even more destructive’.

[There is no amended figure for how much more abuse there is to women as there is to men. There is an implicit statement that abuse of any form to anyone by anyone at home or work or play of any age, race, creed or sex is wrong and unacceptable.

It would be more accurate to say that ‘There is an appalling amount of physical and emotional abuse by men to women and children and a significant amount of abuse by women to men’. I have no data about how much abuse and what sort of abuse happens in any other country – let alone in the perhaps differently based Near East, Far East or non-christian areas. There is enough vague information to suggest that many countries are worse and perhaps we are a tiny bit ahead of some in recognising that abuse does occur and that it is wrong. AP]

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