Darin Dares Chapter 2 revised

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Thanks to everyone who pointed out the mistakes in last chapter of Darin Dares. The post has now been revised to take into account several mistakes in the original version. Nothing has changed plot wise, but I did fix a few things:

  • The length of Mrs Davis skirt was supposed to be below the knee, not above.
  • I had used the word 'councillor' instead of 'counsellor' on three separate occasions.
  • I changed from past tense to present tense two-thirds of the way through the chapter.

I haven't checked this story as many times as my previous series, and it obviously shows. I will be giving the remaining chapters another reading before posting the remainder of the story.

At least its nice to know my stories are being read.
David

Comments

Thanks for the Heads Up

The only thing I noticed was the dress length. I guessed you meant to say "mid-calf". You do tell a good story, and your first person narratives flow really well.