If anyone doubted that some elements of Bike were true, I attach (I hope) a photo taken by the present Captain of HMS Victory - yes that one - Nelson's flagship, and passed on to me by Gabi.
The latest research suggests it may all be a myth, or even Skene's gland aka the female prostate - which in itself isn't always recognised or even found in all women apparently.
I notice that for the past couple of days a copyright notice has appeared on my stories, and many of the others posted recently.
As it obviously takes time to do, there has to be a good reason why it's being done. Are we being plagiarised and sold for huge sums of cash - or in my case used Mars bar wrappers?
I'm not complaining - never managed to find the key for an umlaut let alone a copyright symbol, and I am happy to admit ownership of my witterings, so just curious, like Alice.
The next part 864 of Bike has been written, I very nearly posted it tonight, but then thought you'll get too fat if I feed you too much.
I must confess that the character of Julie came out of the blue as I started to write, and I had difficulty stopping when I did. However, the plotline seemed so magnetic that I had to write some more - I know, saddo or what? So tomorrow's episode is about twice as long as usual, over 2200 words.
According to the popular content counter, Gaby's Manx Tale has received over 29,000 hits. Thank you to all who've read it, to Maddy Bell for creating the characters, and to Erin for allowing me to post it here.
Totally Insane (the serial not the author) part 30 is with my editor and I hope to post it during Christmas Day (UK time). So those of you who wish to follow the adventures of Kylie and her psychopathic sibling, tune in tomorrow for the next riveting episode (actually they're not riveted, they're screwed like the rest of us).
Oh Bonzi sends Mioawy Christmas to both his readers and a Happy Mew Year.
This a story running to two book equivalents posted in 2003/4 on Crystal's storysite, which is one I feel deserves more attention and because Sarah Bayen doesn't post any more - she seems to have left the scene altogether - you might not come across it unless you know it's there. It could do with a proper edit but it's still a very readable tale of adolescence and self discovery. I attach a link.
The attached link to the Daily Mail is about a campaign to boycott 'pink' toys for girls, they claim stereotyping has held girls and women back for generations.
Personally, I'm more concerned about sexually objectifying young women - but what do I know?
According to this link on the Beeb, some of Audrey Hepburn's gowns and hats are up for auction, so if you fancy some new glad rags... Oh, I'd better warn you, the last two pieces of her stuff that were auctioned raised over a million pounds ...but then it's for a good cause. Breakfast at Tiffany's anyone?
British PM, Gordon Brown, was furious at the proposed legislation Uganda wants to introduce. He was volubly supported by the Canadians at the Commonwealth Heads conference. See the story here in today's Guardian.
My daughter sent me a link for this wonderful website with a handful of cartoons featuring the hapless Simon and his monstrous cat. Do have a look, they are really funny and will strike a note with cat owners.
Mother, daughter, sister, hag,
Harridan, termagant, scrubber and slag
Floozy, harlot, virgin and bride
Whore, wench and mistress, easy-to-ride.
Wet-nurse and wifey, even now WAG,
All names for women, for such, is our bag.
It was a dark and stormy knight
With whom I had to fight,
Me a damsel, whose chastity belt was on too tight.
His instrument was grand
When he held it in his hand
It wasn’t what I planned
As he sang to me all the bloody night.
When I awoke, t’was late of morn
And my Stormy knight had gorn
Red skies the sailors warn
And soon did come the rain
Which flattened all the grain
And washed my CB key right down the bloody drain.
Yawn, Yawn.
There’s a moral in this tale
Which howls in like a gale
Blows the skin until it’s pale
And it’s plain and obvious for all to see
Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for
a little chat.
He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants,
handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''
She did and said, 'These are too big.
I can't wear them.'
I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in
this family and I always will.' Ever since that night, we have
never had any problems.
'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
Out of curiosity, I've done a quick count of the stuff I have posted on various sites. It's quite an indictment of how much time I must have given to playing with words, characters and situations.
Counting episodes as individual items, which are quite variable in length - bonkers, snafu and Gabysodes are longer than bike episodes - but they take me longer to write.
The grand total is 988 of which 848 appear on this site. Of those 11 are complete works or short stories and one is a poem, another is a drabble.
I obviously spend far too much time on the internet.
Could anyone in their right mind have imagined this lasting so long? Does anyone in their right mind actually read it? We all know the author is barmy - talks to cats and gets sensible replies! Goes into raptures over dormice and bicycles -need I say more?
Apart from uncertain weather, I've had a very nice if exhausting weekend. Met up with my ex twice and we kept things very civil - my daughter was astonished. In fact we had quite a laugh as my ex went up the ladder to repair a broken clothes line while I held it for her - she was in trousers, I was in a skirt and heels and the ladder was rather dirty.
I will be away next Saturday afternoon and evening to stay with my daughter for the night. Then on Sunday morning, I am going looking for dormice on a nature reserve in Darkest Wales. I'm hoping I might get a couple of usable photos. It will also give me a chance to test my new car - well new to me, a Renault Megane 1.9 dci (turbo diesel for the uninitiated). Consequently, I won't promise to post an episode of Bike on Saturday.
I'm possibly tempting providence, but I hope that thanks to a new modem/router and finally getting around to using a new computer I've had in the box for about three years, my internet problems are over (touch wood). It's Vista, so I might yet be swearing - but so far so good, as I learn my way round this different set up.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.