crazypagangurl's blog

Medical good news, with an exception noted

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I had to go downtown today to see my doctor. It turned out to be a fairly good visit.

A large part of that is the fact that I have a new doctor now, one who has had no issues with listening to what I have to say. Considering that I have had, with more doctors than I care into get into details about, bad history due to them NOT listening, she's a miracle.

I'm feeling emotionally stressed out and a bit depressed.

Four months ago, I posted a piece that had pretty much everyone who commented upset at what I had written.

I had no issue with their comments, other than that I took the time to put up a bunch of legal info to support my thoughts.

Then another person posted, using the Guest Reader option, and proceeded to be initially mildly rude, then more so and outright abusive.

When I saw the comment, I sent a PM to Erin, asking for it to be unsubbed as it was an outright Rule 1 violation.

It's that darn crazy git's birthday again!

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Oh, wait, that darn crazy git is me! Ack!

Well, another year has gone by and I'm still kicking and fighting, not fighting in the physical sense so much as fighting the depression that comes up now and then. I'm not dealing with serious depression at the moment, so I'll take that as a bonus.

Anywho, I'm sitting here staring at the computer screen, I'm officially 52 years old and I want to live a damn lot longer!

I hope everyone else is having a good day today; I'll be heading for bed in a while, I'm starting to wind down now.

Muse on a rampage again? LMAO

We're barely halfway through January, and I've posted NINE pieces in the last eleven days! That has to be a record for me.

What makes it even scarier is that there are still ideas bouncing around for more pieces, most of those being continuations of current stories.

I have no idea how long this will last, but I may as well go with the flow and write while the ideas are there, right?

It's kind of funny, there have been times where I've grumbled that the muse was being stingy, now she's on a major roll. LOL

It's been an odd evening for me.


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As the title says, it's been a bit of an odd evening for me.

WARNING: Four of the six songs here are about death, abuse and troubled lives. One features a disabled child, the last is about heartache.

Interestingly, one song is also about a gift passed down that made a positive difference, two more are about a child's life becoming happier.

Muse on a rampage? LOL

It's been a very productive week for me so far, four pieces posted in just under 43 hours.

I have no idea where the energy to write is coming from, I've been half-asleep for the last six hours; even coffee isn't helping much, I'll be having a nap in a moment. My muse, though, is apparently in high gear again, as noted by the postings coming fast and furious recently.

I don't think it's finished yet, either. I've got ideas for the next part of at least one story percolating, perhaps two. *giggles*

New Winnisimmet Tales story by me

A few days ago, I woke up with an idea for a story to be set in Winnisimmet, Massachusetts. I wanted it to be a Winnisimmet Tales story.

Because of that, I sent a fairly long message to efindumb giving a lot of information about the story I wanted to write.

I argued a bit with him, saying that I felt the story could be told without it interfering with a story he said he was about to write that would be similar. After some discussion, he asked me to send whatever I would put in the story to him. I felt that was fair, so I agreed.

Moving On Sunday

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I've been a bit distracted and busy over the last three months or so with trying to find a new place to live.

The building that I have been in for the last twelve years will be torn down soon and will be replaced by a condominium building that will be ready in about three to four years. Tenants from my building have the option to take apartments there when it opens.

I just received confirmation that I will be moving into a new apartment, with the actual move taking place on Sunday.

Birthday, what birthday?

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According to the calendar, I turned 51 today.

To be honest, though, my birthdays haven't been something to celebrate for a long, long time.

I lost a fair number of people I considered friends when I started on hormones and living as a female back in 1992.

I lost even more when I went through a completely stupid and unnecessary legal hassle from 1998 to 2000.

Lady Love: A New Superheroine In The Making?

Like it often seems to happen with me, I woke up with an idea from my crazy muse who decided I should be awake, not sleeping. LOL

A young man discovers in his early teens that he should have been a girl, but being from the bayous of Louisiana, life doesn't come easy. His parents were always ready for a party, and like they had many times before, they joined several friends on an old and not very well kept twenty foot long speed boat. A really nasty storm raged through the area they were in and the boat went down with all lives lost.

Apologies & New Ideas

First of all, I'd like to apologize for not updating several of my older stories recently like Home Is Where The Heart Is, No Place To Call Home, Upside Down, Inside Out, Step By Step, Elsewhere, Otherwhen, Somehow and Stumbles Of Love. I went through a two week period where I wrote absolutely nothing, then when I did start writing again a few days ago, it was a brand new story.

It's even worse at the moment, I started a new story two days ago, took a break yesterday, and now I'm starting another new one. LOL

My muse is back! Yay!

The last two weeks have been odd for me as my muse apparently wandered off with no warning at all. I had been posting pieces on an average of about every 2.5 to 3 days until that point, and I expected that to continue, so when it didn't, I felt like I was lost in writer's limbo.

I haven't written anything since I posted Betrayed on February 18th, and I was beginning to be worried that my muse was gone for good.

Thankfully, she has returned, and I am about to start writing the first piece of a new story.

Chat Room


I just tried to access the chat room, entered a nick, clicked Join, and nothing happened. I'm definitely logged in.

Is there some requirement to use the chat beyond being on the site and/or logged in?

Buying Thru Amazon

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I've been thinking about buying one or two stories that used to be here, but are now only available through Amazon.

The issue I'm having is that Amazon is asking for either credit cards or gift cards/promotional codes to buy them.

I have no credit card, so that's not possible. I've seen some gift cards, just wondering is there any other way to buy these books?

It seems quite odd that there's no option to pay directly from a site such as PayPal or something similar. At least, I haven't seen one.

Feeling lousy

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This is one of those days that I truly dislike winter. The weather's been mostly okay, although we're getting light snow right now.

The temperature has dropped about 9°C (16°F) in the last twelve hours or so, and I'm quite cold sensitive, I feel it even indoors. When it gets cold enough, the pain from my Fibromyalgia becomes more noticeable and I'm more likely to have a migraine build-up.

Get Free Kindle Ad On Amazon Web Pages


I've just spent the last ten minutes or so looking at a few items from our writers here that are available on Amazon.

In each case, I see a small ad on the page which says: READ ON ANY DEVICE, then Get free Kindle app underneath. Is this legit?

It just seems odd as Amazon lists scores if not hundreds of Kindles for sale through the site. I know they do, I've looked occasionally, as I've thought about getting one, but the cost for the decent ones is way too much for me in most cases.

Interconnections Between Two Of My Stories

Well, anyone reading my two latest posts here will possibly realize that the two stories are connected.

Upside Down, Inside Out has a ways to go before it catches up with Home Is Where The Heart Is. I'm not sure, but it may take another post or three of Upside Down, Inside Out before the two stories timelines begin to match.

At the moment, these are the only stories that are interconnected, but that doesn't preclude the possibility that one or more of the others will not become interconnected with one or both of these stories. We'll have to wait and see, won't we?

Memories & The Results Of Remembering ----> Possible Triggers

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I woke up about three hours ago, needing to use the washroom, fairly normal for me, as I have a weak bladder.

What isn't normal is what happened when I tried to go back to sleep.

To put it bluntly, I started remembering things that happened when I was a child, specifically things that occurred during the eight years of my being adopted. The memories wouldn't stop, and I came very close to having a full-blown panic attack while crying for nearly two hours.

To put the whole thing into a proper semblance of order, I need to describe my memories of my childhood.

My Little

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I just put a new story up a little while ago, and in the process, it seems I rediscovered my little. I hadn't seen hide nor hair of her since late 2005, so more than eleven years have gone by, yet it seems I woke her up, so to speak, simply by using the name Jessica in my piece.

As I said, I hadn't had her come out for so long that I actually forgot her name, which is Jessica. What makes it even odder, at least for me, is I've read who knows how many stories featuring someone named or renamed Jessica, or written by someone named Jessica.

Did the site just have a hiccup of some sort?


I've been working on a piece here since Saturday evening. I put in about ten hours before I started having trouble staying awake, so I copied what I had over to Open Office just in case, then wandered off to bed, catching twelve hours or so before I woke up just after midnight EST. I've spent most of the time since then back at the grind here after checking nothing had been lost.

Asking for help on a story

This is a first for me in two ways, first time I've written a blog here on BC/TS, and first time EVER that I've asked for help on a story anywhere.

I was sleeping well enough about an hour ago when I had a dream, it showed images that made me cringe, but for all of that, I just couldn't get them out of my head. I woke up a few minutes later and those images were still centre stage in my mind. It's been an hour now, but I'm still thinking about those few brief images, and how I could use them as the basis of a chilling, yet realistic modern forced femme story.

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