CAUTION: Attempted Suicide

Fine Tuning

“… Cymru, yng Nghaerdydd; thank you for listening to Noson Werin, presented by myself, Siw Williams, with this evening’s guest the multi-instrumentalist Chrissy Morgan, who will be performing next Wednesday in St David’s Hall, Cardiff. This has been a Tidewave production for BBC Wales in Cardiff”

I waited till the ‘on air’ light was out, and confirmation from our producer, before I turned back to Chrissy, who was now encumbered with several instrument cases.

“How do you think that went?”

Where have I been?

As the title suggests, this is about what has been going on since I last posted anything or even interacted with anyone on here. I think my last blog was over a year old and my last story was like two years ago at least. I guess to paint a deeper picture on how I ended up where I am now I need to go back to when the Covid Pandemic started.

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First Flight

It was a shop day, so I had to bring my smiles, despite everything that had happened. My Dahon folder had caused a few comments when I had boarded the train at Croydon, and once again at Clapham Junction, but that was par for the course. It was still far more convenient than the bus ride into Barnes. Asa I was also covering duty manager that day, I had had to brave the full-on commuter rush into London, and once again I was grateful that the second trip was against the flow and the train a lot emptier.

A Life For My Child

July 4, 2023

Sherry crept up to her house, she was off work early and wanted to surprise her son. Her boss didn’t close early very often, so he wouldn’t be expecting her, and she was bringing home some take out. When she opened the door, she saw a girl in a blue chiffon dress go streaking up the stairs. “My son has a girl over? He’s not allowed to have anyone over while he’s home alone, much less a girl!” she thought.

View from a Bridge.

View from a Bridge

The old tune was on constant repeat in my head as I walked, slowly, across the bridge, carrying a heavy knapsack. The view was particularly stunning this bright early summer day. Following the lines of the song, though, I couldn’t take any more.

Halloween Romance (6)

Halloween Romance
Sequel to
Mischief Night Magic
Part Six: A Lesson on the Perils of Womanhood

Gwendoline took a deep breath as she closed the heavy wooden doors of the girls bathroom behind her. She then started to walk around every square foot of the bathroom. Once she was sure we were along she turned toward me and heaved another long, drawn out sigh.

Decision Matrix, Chapter 8: Pattern Recognition

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“They’re captives, but they’re still people. People with hopes, dreams, fears . . . . If Cleo’s mother loses her only remaining child, she will suffer, and that suffering will be real to her.”

The New Girl

Hi Reddit. I am making this post as I wanted to tell people about how my life turned out. You can choose not to believe me, but here it is regardless. I can’t tell you my real name, so I will say my name was Bernie. I was a shy, unassuming teen. I had a rough life, beginning with my father throwing me out of their house on my 18th birthday because he decided it was time that I went my own way. And I never had an 18th birthday party.

My parents never treated me well at home, and I was relieved to leave my childhood house with only the things I could stuff in a backpack.

Freebie’s for this week on Amazon

I skipped a freebie week, so we’re once again doing a double up:

The e-books for: “Are You Happy” and “Desert Rose” will be free for this week from Amazon.

Are You Happy” is kind of a depressing delve into the madness mind of Stephen Thomas and his “guardians’: the Elvin princess Ayle and a grim reaper-in-training who never makes it, “Skully”. The reader is asked to ponder if they’re a part of Stephen’s broken psyche or if they indeed exist.

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Parallel Lives Chapter 6

The moon was high in the sky as Natalie took slow, tedious steps toward the cabinet in her apartment’s unused guest bedroom. The bedroom she now knew as the one Astian slept in before the… event.

There was only one way to end all her pain for good.

She took a shaky hand and grabbed one of the door handles, opening it to reveal a pistol on the top shelf.

It needed to stop.

She grabbed the pistol and examined it in her hands.

By any means necessary, it needed to stop.

Confessions Long Needed

 

Confessions Long Needed
From the Wyldheart's Call
A DC Comics Fanfiction
by:
ShadowedSin
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It all started with a Wish, a very bad wish, but one all the same.

After running for years, Barbara Minerva finally found someone she liked. It was love at first sight, but still, even with all her attempts, nothing came of it. So once again, with Hive stalking her footsteps she made the wish after helping a delusional man mad with magic. A wish making her the Cheetah, an animal of pure rage and predatory need. years ever after she stalked her prey and fought Diana Prince to a standstill. And now, now it's time to end it all before her fixation gets her killed...

The Burglar

On The Whole, I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia

It was a gorgeous day, sun shining brightly on the ornamental gardens of the forty story condo building, I could hear the murmur of traffic passing on the street in front of the place. Eschewing the doorman at the front entrance, I pulled the rented pickup around to the service entrance and parked. I adjusted the visor on my cap, the one with the Cold Comfort Refrigeration logo on it.

Chapter 23 - To Be or Not To Be

Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

CAUTION - Attempted Suicide
CAUTION - Highly Emotional Content
CAUTION - Intense scenes involving a minor

--

A month to the day after the accident, Josh went back to school. He walked into the building dressed in a black skirt, top, tights, and flats. He also carried the black backpack that Grace had used for the last three years, the same one he'd had before her. Judy let him keep it as a memento of their love, along with a few other things. He'd asked about the carving he'd given her for her sixteenth birthday, but Judy told him she'd been buried holding it, unwilling to make her daughter ever part with the gift she'd loved nearly as much as Josh himself.

Chapter 18 - Right or Wrong

Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

CAUTION: Attempted Suicide
CAUTION: Referenced / Discussed Suicide
CAUTION - Highly Emotional Content

--

As the school year came to a close, Josh and Grace were getting closer to one another, but he continued to struggle with his feelings while still clinging to the memory of his love for Jennifer and all that she'd tried to do for him. No matter how many times he tried to look at it, he couldn't figure out what the right thing to do was.

Songs for Two Lives Parts 5 & 6

As an apology for the double post of Uplifting, here is the next post of 'Songs for Two Lives.'

Part 5 The Magic Bus

I settled into my new life. My new manager told me I was lucky to have got the job as the budget had been limited the day after and that he wasn’t able to employ any more staff.

The job wasn’t difficult; I just had a database of all the properties that the council managed as well as another of the waiting list. My hardest part was matching properties with the right number of people in a family.

I Don't Like You Chapter 4



So Much More Than This

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The whole crowd seems to like me now
'Cause they think I'm cool but back when I was in school
They found it very easy to hate me
Funny how always these times are changing
Back then I was so easy to shatter
But now in the end it doesn't really matter
Tap your foot and listen in
Ignore the world, let the music cave in
Close your phone and breathe in the air
You'll soon realize that there's something that is so much more than this.

At Seventeen


At seventeen, a transgender girl thinks back on her life. Set to the lyrics of At seventeen by Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired

Moments of Madness -4-

The continuation of the story based on my real life experiences.

Once again, there are conversations of suicide and mental anguish, so if you are not emotional able to read on this stuff, please avoid this story.

Moments of Madness -3-

The drop into despair and the darkness that I had built around me, and set myself up for, crashed over me like a wave. I reached out for help, but could the hand save me, or would it be slapped away as the depth of my sorrow, and anguish overcome me?

Again this has comments on suicide and pretty much my first-ever anxiety attack. So, again if you cannot emotionally read about that stuff, I would suggest missing this story.

Warning on Grammar. While I have really tried to correct a lot of stuff, however, the email was real (in fact all the chapter is how it went down), and I didn't want to overly change the content too much. In saying that, reading the old email again now, .... Jesus grammar can be shit in email communication!! :D

Moments of Madness -2-

The continued story of my dive into my gender-fuelled mental break down. Again, this touches on emotions that you might feel upset about if you are not stable yourself, so be sure to feel safe before you read this.

In this part Daniel and I chat on IRC (yeah ancient Discord :D) and in my emotional imbalance the whole situation causes more emotions to run out of control and confusion to take over.

This does have some very mild cybersex type scene.

Also, if you are interested in the book I talk about in this "Nearly Roadkill" you can find it: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/207201.Nearly_Roadkill

Also want to add that a long time ago, Dana Short also helped me a lot on this chapter (in fact the whole story, but this one the most).

Moments of Madness -1-

A story I wrote a long time back, and I have decided before I do my new stuff I want to rewrite this so that I can share it with people again.

This story takes play just after my first real life break down (so many years ago), and while this is based on, there are elements that are enhanced and changed for the sake of telling a fantasy story.

Using the experiences of what happened, I wanted to write something that was still TG but would allow me to explore and explain the voyage I had. A warning, this talks about suicide and a mental breakdown that did get me in a mental ward within hospital, so only read this if you can emotionally do so.

The transformation in this story doesn't happen until later chapters, so I do hope you can read through to that point.

An Angel's Job

An Angels job
An Angels Job
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December 2021 Christmas Holidays Story Contest Entry

An Angel’s Job
by Tiffany B. Quinn

Note: To those of you who have trouble with religious ideas in this genre, I suggest that you skip this story. When I think of Christmas, I cannot help but think of its religious foundations. It is from these thoughts, that this story has sprung.

-----------<   >-----------

Young Terry's unsympathetic siblings make his life a living hell when they discover his secret. There appears to be only one way out until divine providence steps in to prompt a different ending.

Fourteen Inches of Snow

Spent the last hour and a half shoveling fourteen inches of snow. Thankfully it was light and fluffy, in mild temperature with no wind.

Rethinking the wisdom of buying a house with a double lot.

Gave away my two snowblowers when I moved to the city from the burbs. Had a big one for the driveway and a small one for the sidewalk and to blow the blow from my deck down into my pool.

Now all I have are four shovels, a spouse, and a springer spaniel (with dubious snow moving skills).

Jill

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It's a hard life for a bright boy in the Feminine Queendom Part 2

This is Part 2 of a story about a bright boy living in Berverly Taff's United Queendom. Recent events have caused unrest. Peter and his mother are affected. As before I will edit or delete the story if Beverly doesn't approve.

It's a hard life for a bright boy in the Feminine Queendom

Melody Davis had grown up like all other girls in the Queendom. She was a little disappointed when they were separated from the boys
in her early teens. She understood that her teachers told her boys brains could not handle much more than an elementary level of education.

Coming out

Today is the happiest day of my life. I want to share with you guys how my day went from feeling like it would ruin the rest of my life to being so Happy I broke into tears. I finally came out to an actual person In Real Life In Person with complete transparency that I was a Transgender woman in the closet for fear of scrutiny and scandal as well as fear for my life. The new pastor at my church. I was worried how he would react.

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The Cut

While I've written a couple of stories that dealt with suicide, I've never had the nerve to describe my own experience. Until now. Please ... please be careful, before reading this story, and make sure it's something you feel you can handle. Knowing other people are okay is a lot more important to me than knowing this story is read.

=-=-=

The Road to Hell

Josh Ryan was not normal. He talked different, walked different, laughed different... and everyone knew it. He had two very close friends who always wanted to help him; in fact, throughout his young life, he always had people around who wanted to help him... usually to fend off his parents who seemed like they would do anything for him. Their desire to help however, often made his own life take a back seat to their ideas of why he was so different and who he should become as a result... "for his own good." Determined to raise Josh 'their way' and according to their own ideas of who he is, it would take extreme circumstances and more pain than Josh ever thought a person could endure for anyone to even begin to see the damage his parents were doing to his childhood, his future, and in the end, his very life... all "with the best of intentions."

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 33

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 32

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 31

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 30

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 29

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 28

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

What if I'm the One

Ever since being a part of the "One Dozen Roses" anthology I contemplated if I could get my characters together to talk. I decided to go with the guys in each story and allow them to drop (even more) of their defenses and we get to hear what happened after their perspective stories.
The seven are forced to go to group therapy due to various issues: Matt, for example, has to take it as a part of his probation; Spencer, because he was found floating in the Spokane river after jumping from a bridge.

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Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 27

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 26

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

"What If I'm the One" Chapter 1 "As Long as I’m Here"

if im the one.jpg

The first one to volunteer was a young man who had had shoulder length hair and it was colored in faded streaks of rainbow. He wore John Lennon-esque glasses and he looked like he had seen better days…

As Long As I'm Here

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 25

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

Wrong Place Right Time Chapter 24

Most often people talk about being in the right place at the right time. Maybe they achieved a beautiful photo of a sunrise, or the antics of children or animals. Maybe they found something someone lost and received a big reward when it was returned. But how often do they talk about being in the wrong place at the right time? If they do, it’s often about the death of someone or maybe witnessing a crime. And if this is the case, they are sad or horrified. Walter Williams often is in the wrong place at the right time, though his reaction to the incidents he encounters is much different than anyone would expect. And, life-changing.

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