Senior / Sixty+

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 53 Deep Secrets

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 53 Deep Secrets

Continued on from GOM 52 on a Saturday evening in the Green Dragon Inn taproom

“Hang on a moment before you do, Pete. Jeremy, whilst we’re on about food, or at any rate stuff that sometimes passes for food, answer a question for me if you would. Why the hell would anybody want to eat pizza instead of food? I know millions of poor brainwashed bastards all over the planet do, and some of them go out to eat the stuff calling it a meal, dinner even, but to me it seems a not unnatural question because I’ll lay odds there’s not a Bearthwaite man who’s ever been offered it by his missus as food here is there? I’d far rather have a sandwich made with decent bread as is baked down at the mill, and our kids wouldn’t thank you for the stuff, for they’d all rather have a bag of chips [US fries] from Ellerys’ chippy.A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 53 Deep Secrets

A Successful Family

A Successful Family

The possession of a small number of cows, pigs, sheep and goats in addition to ducks, hens and geese was to the older family members the currency by which they measured true wealth. That the hundreds of doves that lived in the centuries old dovecote and the fish in the lake were a readily available food source was a wonder to them. When they added a couple of hives of bees and a dozen rabbits to keep in a barn they couldn’t imagine a better life.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 52 Political Analysis

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 52 Political Analysis

Continued on from GOM 51 on a Saturday evening in the Green Dragon Inn taproom

“Christ, Lads, Dave missed his calling as a green grocer he should have been a diplomat. He’d have all the middle east conflicts sorted in minutes. Admittedly, he’d turn the entire spot into one big, f*** off, glassed down, radioactive plain, but the situation would be sorted permanently which would definitely be a result. We need more of that kind of thinking.”

“I recently heard, Alice, that Hell is staffed by vegetarians and the security guards are all vegans, so I’m going to heaven where slaughtermen and butchers like me are well thought of because the angels who run the spot are known to enjoy a deliciously bloody, blue steak, and there are no security guards because none of the residents wish to leave.”

Galafriëlla

Galafriëlla

Arbret law was quirky and it gave all the right to whatever medical procedures they wanted, providing of course that they could pay for them. What the law did not do was allow any privacy, so medical staff could legally take money for informing any one they chose concerning the GRS treatment of the trans or the psychological problems dealt with by psychiatrists. It was a system that ensured conformity due to fear and any who was in any way different was hounded and victimised mercilessly.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 51 Coneys, Bees and Fish

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 51 Coneys, Bees and Fish

Continued on from GOM 50 on a Saturday evening in the Green Dragon Inn taproom

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 51⅒ So Just Where is Bearthwaite? is included before the footnotes

For any as don’t know a coney is an adult rabbit. The lasses’ cuniculture business, that word always makes me snigger, but honest to god it is what the tax man refers to it as, so maybe they’ve not all had their senses of humour surgically removed.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 49 Needles Fell

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 49 Needles Fell

You’ve only ever seen women like me power dress to do business. Then she waltzed in like a pretty little girl wearing that low cut flower print summer frock with a man who looked old enough to be her father and you assumed he was the chief negotiator and went to shake his hand first. She knew you wouldn’t have done your homework, so she set you up to look like an idiot, and you fell for it, all of it, hook, line and sinker. Her cleavage had you off balance and thinking she was the older man’s decorative plaything from the moment she came in, and from the moment you realised your mistake you were stuffed. No one can recover from a mistake of that magnitude, so you were even less useful to me than usual. That confirms that as always she did her home work on us and on you in particular.

The Devil You Know

The Devil You Know

It was Halloween, and the usual crowd had gathered in the pub to be safe from ‘trick or treaters’. They weren’t heavy drinkers, just steady drinkers, and were all mildly happy by nine. As usual, none of the talk was about the particular reason for the evening, until Harry suggested that it was a nice evening, if a bit foggy, perfect for the kids roaming the streets.

“You think that the kids like wandering around in the fog, Harry?”

“No, Bert, it’s just that it’s the one night of the week they can have fun and dress up.”

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 48 Acquisitions Introductions and Interventions

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 48 Acquisitions Introductions and Interventions

After interviewing three potential pharmacists Murray was beginning to lose hope. All three had been male and chauvinists, pigs to boot probably too, he’d said cynically to himself. He’d just one more to go, Lennox MacUspaig, a name he’d never heard of. He was hoping that at the very least he didn’t have to deal with yet another MCP, but he doubted anything would come it. Twenty-nine years old, single and with a CV which was to say the least sparce. Murray was stunned when an attractive young woman came in to shake his hand. She saw the look on his face and asked, “You expected a man?”

Not Strong Enough To Run

A traditional style manual blood pressure measuring device, with a blue cuff.

Paul is a trainee nurse, a pretty good one, and on the verge of qualification. He has one last figure he must prove himself to; Alicia, his direct supervising nurse. She made a promise to Paul on his first day on the ward—one of the last wards in a regular hospital in the entire city—if Paul ever needed a drink after a shift to decompress, get a worry off his chest, deal with a professional issue, or even just to chat, simply tell her; Alicia would be there for him; that’s what good supervisors do. And Alicia believes she’s a good supervisor.

After a long, but quiet, Friday night shift, with time to dwell on his thoughts, Paul pushes himself to take Alicia up on the promise she made. Something is bothering him, and mentioning it in the hospital, without support, could affect his career. Paul even knows exactly the bar he wants to go to for the 9am drink; Light Avenue.


Not Strong Enough to Run is a Solo short story set in the Toni With An i/Light Avenue universe, featuring the sort of, maybe, but not quite, but really ‘Yes’ LGBTQ+ bar. Set roughly ten years before Toni With An i it features both Steph and Trevor earlier in their careers. No knowledge of Toni With An i is needed for this story. Not Strong Enough to Run is, however, a tale that will enhance the experience of any fans of Steph, Trevor, or Light Avenue itself.


Bookends

Maeryn Lamonte Copyright ©️ 2024

Old friends
Sat on their park bench
Like bookends
A newspaper blown through the grass
Falls on the round toes
On the high shoes
Of the old friends

A gentle song. Lesser known perhaps but familiar to us both. The single hadn’t gone anywhere, but the album made it to the top of the charts.

I remember the last time I saw her perched on the far end of the bench. I’d walked about as far as my aching bones could carry me so asked if she would mind my joining her.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 47 Increasing Independence

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 47 Increasing Independence

“That story Angus prised out of her concerning that Landrace boar her grandfather gave her as a piglet when she was what? six or seven was priceless! And her mum’s reaction when her lurcher pup her dad gave her just kept growing when she’d thought it to be a Jack Russell was out of this world priceless. That she raised the pig to killing weight, had it follow a bucket of feed to the slaughterhouse and insisted on watching every detail of its slaughter and butchering and being given explanations of what was being done and why was remarkable enough. But to cap it all that she helped process the blood, the head meat, the offal and all the bits and pieces was, I considered, amazing. When she said it had had a good life, but she’d raised it to eat and didn’t like her bacon so fresh that it could bite back, so it had to die, I had to struggle to avoid laughing, because she was absolutely serious about it. When she said that her next piglet, a gilt [an unmated sow], was given to her by the slaughterman, who is shortly to become her grandfather in law, so she could see the differences between sows processed for pork and boars processed for cured meat due to the testosterone boar taint I couldn’t help but laugh. Then when she said Grandad Vince the Mince obtained a barrow [a castrated boar] for her to raise to finally to complete the picture, which she then killed and butchered herself at the slaughterhouse. I had to look away because I’d tears of laughter in my eyes.

Michele Nylons True Stories - Chapter 6

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Chapter Six – The Laneway Cruise Lounge

This is a glimpse into a day in my life as a fetishistic transvestite/crossdresser when I visit the local cruise lounge prowling for company. To some extent the story explains how I do what I do and why I do it. It is a snapshot in time of a day in my life. Please heed the warnings regarding explicit content. This story contains non-explicit images of me.

Hereby Highly

It was about 5 o’clock on New Year's Eve. Jerry was eating an easy dinner, poached fish filet, frozen spinach, microwave mac and cheese. He could have cooked something much nicer, much better. But why bother. There was no one to share it with this year. He didn’t really have any friends to invite over. His son was working, making food so others could celebrate. But most importantly, his wife was dead.

Convergence - A New Year's Eve Resolution Contest Short Story

It's the last day of the year and Tom Anderson decides to head out into the hills near Area 51 for some fossil hunting. Little did he know, his life was about to encounter something that would change his entire life.

Donna Goes Down Under & Meets Her Girlfriends in Sydney

(This is adult XXX rated fiction that reflects graphic sex acts)

Donna Goes Down Under & Meets Her Girlfriends in Sydney

The Setup - The girls plan to meet for the first time

Bethlehem

Author's Note: This short story is intended to be read after The Light Between and before the upcoming new installment, Hope's Light.

If you have yet to experience the saga - the tale starts here:

Into The Light

Hope you enjoy!

 

Bethlehem

Bethlehem

by Erisian

A Light Novelette

 

 

The travelers had gathered in Jerusalem’s lower city not far from the hippodrome, the great stone-worked amphitheater built by the king to curry favor with his land’s conquerors in the hopes to placate their need for sport made by the speed of horse and blood of man.

The Owl and The Wolf

The Owl Estate, Boston, Massachusetts:
Nick looks at the email Nancy sent to him. She informs him about a DOJ agent named Ada Franklin and how she came across an old den map. She had included everything she had gathered about Mrs. Franklin and how recruiting her might be a good idea.

Talk with an Angel

*-*-*-*- Teek's Short-Story Collection -*-*-*-*
Angel.jpg
Talk With An Angel
By Teek
1,660 words long
 

Summary: God offers a toddler with autism a choice between two possible futures. Now the parents and the child's guardian angel must cope with the decision.

Image by brgfx on Freepik

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 46 Bringing the Past into the Future in the Present

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 46 Bringing the Past into the Future in the Present

This is for those few of you who are interested in the GOM. For the first time since writing GOM 01 I have nothing left in the ideas file. There is nothing with which I can even begin GOM 47. Doubtless material will eventually arrive, but I believe that to find, or imagine enough to create GOM 47 will take considerable time. I do, however, have a considerable’ amount of material for other tales and am also working on various aspects of Castle T S, but I seem to have travelled as far as my journey can go with the GOM for the foreseeable future.

Curled Up

Curled Up
A Vignette
By Maryanne Peters

When I retired, I decided that I was going to live a life of leisure. I had made plenty of money and I no longer had any dependents. I just wanted to curl up on the couch and relax.

It was just that my whole life I was driven, and I felt that so long as the driving force was still in me, I could never truly let go and lighten up.

The problem was that I was a man. The problem was between my legs. That simply had to go.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 45 Teachers and Tofu

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 45 Teachers and Tofu

“However, we’d been talking for no more than ten minutes when I realised I was in way over my head. I’d already made my mind up about her.

She is our kind of folk, and desperate to be seen as such, so I rang for Adalheidis to take over. A part time chiropodist I could manage, but one who intends to spend the rest of her working time as a ladies’ manicurist and was trying desperately hard to convince me she can do the job, just forget it. My secondary sex characteristics just don’t meet the requirements necessary to understand the differences between acrylic and gel nails. Adalheidis spent the next two days giggling and laughing at me.

Life is a Drag

The London drag club was not in the least CD, sorry seedy. The audience was quite sophisticated and the ambiance friendly and gay (in the original sense of the word). The artists were top of the range. They were not only beautiful but very talented as well. If some of them wore skimpy costumes that was not the only thing they had to offer. However, the star of the evening could not be accused of wearing skimpy attire, nor was “she” young and beautiful. The only way to describe the “Baroness” was outrageous.

Such a Prude

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Such a Prude
By Sabrina G. Langton

***
Author's Note: The penultimate one of this series, I don't know what I'm thinking, I really don't know where my mind has been finding itself lately. I hope YOU like it and I know YOU, yes you, over there in the corner will understand... ha...

***

I remember the first time my nylon legs hit fresh air.

Such a Tomboy

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Such a Tomboy
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: 'Oh no, more of these freakin' essays, doesn't she know we want a story? Doesn't she know she's not that freakin' special?'

Ha, I know, and that is what I like about this Closet. I'm sorry, I am going through a phase lately. This is just something that is a-happenin' in my life here on earth. I hope YOU understand.

***

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 44 Spring, Broadband, and Natural Justice

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 44 Spring, Broadband, and Natural Justice

Since being a toddler, Violet had heard many conversations concerning war, it was something regularly discussed by Bearthwaite men, a number of who had served in the armed forces, and she had taken it all in, for to her the Bearthwaite view made perfect sense. Much of what she’d heard over and over again could be summarised in short pithy sentences. ‘Wars are caused by idiots who have the principles that ordinary blokes don’t give a toss about, but end up dying for anyway.’ ‘The number of armed conflicts a nation gets involved in is a measure of the incompetence and stupidity of its leaders because in the end all conflicts are settled around the negotiating table. It doesn’t actually require that much intelligence to have the negotiations before the conflict.’ ‘A squaddie I knew a long time ago who’d been in the mob for twenty-odd years once telt me that a battle that doesn’t happen is one won by the lads on both sides.’

Such a Show Off

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Such a Show Off
By Sabrina G. Langton

*
Author's Note: Not really a story, just something that is a-happenin'. Just something that is keeping me up at night. Just figured I should tell someone...

*

Hi.

I feel the need to show myself off all of a sudden.

I bought three items in the last month that are trying desperately to change my life.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 43 Bearthwaite Beck, Solid Fuel & Limned Letters

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 43 Bearthwaite Beck, Solid Fuel & Limned Letters

If Dr Tenby had any surprise at seeing a naked, eleven year old, biological female holding his father's hand she kept it to herself.

At the end of Peter’s appointment, Dr Tenby stood up and said, “You have an amazing relationship with your son, Herr Meltzer. A relationship that many of my younger patients could only dream about having.” She escorted them to the door and shook hands with them as they said goodbye.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 42 Adoption, Education and Death

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 42 Adoption, Education and Death

After the first serious beating by forces unknown of the most vociferous bigot, an overweight fifteen year old who went by the nickname of Porky, behind the dining hall even the name calling diminished to almost nothing. The entire school knew the Bearthwaite kids had to have been responsible, but they were as closed mouthed about the matter as they always were about any incident that protected their own and as usual the school authorities were frustrated by finding out nothing, for Dean, Porky’s real name, had clearly been terrorised into silence and stuck to his story that he’d seen nobody. The rumour was that he’d been telt if he opened his mouth he’d be the next transgender victim of the gossip and he wouldn’t be needing GRS because it would already have been done for him, but none knew if that were true or just scuttlebutt.

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 41 Bearthwaite Politics, Law, Lore and Reality

A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 41 Bearthwaite Politics, Law, Lore and Reality

One of the pupils at Whiteport Academy was Fergus McCann. To others fourteen year old Fergus was the ultimate alpha male. A big strong and physically unstoppable boy who was the star of all the physical sport games he played for his school. It was a surprise to most when they discovered he was more interested in the creative stories he wrote for his English teacher than he was in his endeavours on the fields of sport. The boys thought he was a bit odd because he admitted to enjoying reading, and even writing, poetry, drawing and painting, but none made anything of it because Fergus was not someone whose ire they wished to court. Without doubt Fergus was a masculine male, and he had never considered being, nor had he ever wanted to be anything else. But his day dreams would have been considered by most of his peers to be in a word, pink, if that is any other than himself had been aware of them. He had absolutely no desire to be in any way feminine and like other typical males of his age from time to time he had sexual fantasies concerning his friend’s mothers and sisters, but naytheless he had a very different view as to what constituted masculinity from that of the males of his acquaintanceship and especially his father, Davy, who he did not get on with. His father would have liked him better if he’d been a male chauvinist bully, and better still if he’d been a chauvinist thug like himself, but his mother, Eunice, was delighted that Fergus was naturally polite, helpful and considerate, especially to girls, but his father unremittingly reviled him for being a sissy. The only reason it had not come to blows between them was that his father was like a lot of bullies a coward and was deep down afraid of Fergus who had for a number of years been bigger and stronger than his father.

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