Who's Sorry Now?

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For the first time on DVD...the stylings of Roland and DiMaggio, that beloved comedy team. You may remember them from such movies as "Roland and DiMaggio go to the Specialist," "I've Been a BAAAAAD Trans-girl," "The Kid from Bayonne," and their smash hit, "Road to Thailand." Here is an exerpt of their classic routine, first presented in the movie, "The Girls with Something Extra."


Who's Got the Teddie!

Kristine: Well Drea, I’m going to the chat room today with you. You know, Erin, the Chief Honcha and administrator of Big Closet, gave me a job of keeping track of all the chat room visitors.

Drea: Look Kristy, if you’re in charge, you must know all the chatters?

Kristine: Right, certainly do.

Drea: Well, I never met them, and you know how I am at remembering things, so you’ll have to tell me their names, and then I’ll know, you know?

Kristine: Oh, I’ll tell you their names, but you know strange as it may seem, they give these chatters now a days very peculiar names.

Drea: You mean funny names?

Kristine: Strange names, pet names. Like Ananga_Ranga, and…

Drea: Her sister Ottery?

Kristine: OtteryLexa.

Drea: And their Italian cousin.

Kristine: Adorable?

Drea: Seraphina?

Kristine: Seraphina? No, sweetie, Seprhrina! Well let’s see, we have each one according to their attire. For example, we have Who, What, and Why?

Drea: That’s what I want to find out.

Kristine: I say, Who’s wearing lingerie, What’s wearing a business suit, why’s a ball gown.

Drea: And you don’t know their names?

Kristine: Well I should.

Drea: Well then who’s wearing a teddie?

Kristine: Yes.

Drea: I mean her name.

Kristine: Who.

Drea: The girl wearing a teddie.

Kristine: Who.

Drea: The one with the lingerie.

Kristine: Who!

Drea: The girl with the teddie.

Kristine: Who is wearing the teddie?

Drea: I’m asking you who’s wearing the teddie?

Kristine: That’s her name.

Drea: That’s whose name?

Kristine: Yeah.

Drea: Well go ahead and tell me.

Kristine: That’s it.

Drea: That’s who?

Kristine: Yeah.

(Pause)

Drea: Look, you got a girl wearing lingerie?

Kristine: Certainly.

Drea: Who’s wearing lingerie?

Kristine: That’s right.

Drea: When you sign on, who’s waiting to talk about her lingerie?

Kristine: Yes…silk…cobalt blue.

Drea: All I’m trying to find out is the girl’s name wearing the teddie.

Kristine: Who.

Drea: The girl wearing the teddie.

Kristine: That’s it.

Drea: Who gets to wear the nice lingerie?

Kristine: She does, every day! Sometimes she lets her friends see it.

Drea: Whose friends?

Kristine: Yes. (Pause) What’s wrong with that?

Drea: Look, all I want to know is when you sign on, the girl wearing the teddie; how does she sign her name?

Kristine: Who.

Drea: The girl.

Kristine: Yes.

(Pause)

Drea: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the girl’s name wearing the teddie.

Kristine: No, what’s wearing the suit.

Drea: I’m not asking who’s wearing the suit.

Kristine: Who is wearing the teddie.

Drea: One garment at a time!

Kristine: Well don’t change the chatters around!

Drea: I’m not changing anybody!

Kristine: Take it easy, honey. Are you sure your meds are working?

Drea: All I’m asking you, who’s the girl wearing the teddie?!

Kristine: That’s right.

Drea: What’s the girl wearing the teddie?!

Kristine: No, What is wearing the business suit!

Drea: I’m not asking you who’s wearing a suit!

Kristine: Who’s wearing the teddie.

Drea: I don’t know.

Kristine: Oh, she’s wearing spandex…very pretty…super heroine. We’re not talking about her. Now let’s get back to the teddie.

Drea: Now how did we wind up in spandex?

Kristine: Well you mentioned her name.

Drea: If I mentioned the super-girl’s name, who did I say is wearing spandex?

Kristine: No, Who’s wearing a teddie.

Drea: What’s the girl’s name wearing a teddie?

Kristine: What’s the girl’s name wearing a business suit.

Drea: I don’t know.

Kristine: She’s wearing spandex.

Drea: There I go, back to spandex again! Will you stay with spandex and not take it off?

Kristine: I don’t wear spandex.

Drea: Now who’s wearing spandex?!

Kristine: Why do you insist on putting Who in spandex?

Drea: What am I putting in spandex?!

Kristine: No, What is wearing a business suit, lovely…Silk brocade, very professional, rust with a gold satin blouse.

Drea: You don’t want who in a business suit?!

Kristine: No, Who is wearing a teddie.

Drea: I don’t know!

Both: Spandex!

(Pause)

Drea: Look, you got other girls in the chat room?

Kristine: Sure.

Drea: Give me a name?

Kristine: Why.

Drea: I just thought I’d ask you.

Kristine: Well I just thought I’d tell you.

Drea: Then tell me who is the next girl in the chat room.

Kristine: Who is wearing a teddie.

Drea: I’m not… I want to know, what’s the next girl in the chat room?

Kristine: No, What is wearing a business suit.

Drea: I’m not asking who’s wearing a business suit.

Kristine: No, Who is wearing a teddie.

Drea: I don’t know.

Both: Spandex!

(Pause)

Drea: And the next girl?

Kristine: Why!

Drea: Because.

Kristine: No, she wears the ball gown.

Drea: Che cosa e…

Kristine: Well that’s her name.

Drea: Look, look, look, do you have anyone wearing a miniskirt?

Kristine: Sure.

Drea: Her name?

Kristine: Tomorrow.

Drea: You don’t want to tell me today?

Kristine: I’m telling you.

Drea: Well go ahead.

Kristine: Tomorrow.

Drea: What time?

Kristine: What time what?

Drea: At what time tomorrow are you going to tell me who’s wearing a miniskirt?

Kristine: Now listen, Who is not wearing a miniskirt. Who is wearing…

Drea: I’ll burst into tears if you say who’s wearing a teddie! I want to know, what’s the name of the girl wearing the miniskirt?

Kristine: What’s wearing a business suit.

Drea: I don’t know!

Both: Spandex!

(Pause)

Drea: Got anyone wearing slacks?

Kristine: Certainly.

Drea: The girl wearing slacks.

Kristine: Today.

Drea: Today? And tomorrow’s wearing a miniskirt?

Kristine: Now you’ve got it.

Drea: All we got is a couple of names. You know, I wear slacks too sometimes.

Kristine: So they tell me.

Drea: I wear slacks and then tomorrow sometimes will wear a miniskirt?

Kristine: Now that’s the first thing that you’ve said right.

Drea: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

(Pause)

Drea: Look, if I want to give someone a teddie for their birthday, somebody’s got to get it. Now who gets it?

Kristine: Naturally.

Drea: Who?

Kristine: Naturally.

Drea: Naturally?

Kristine: Naturally.

Drea: So I deliver the teddie to Naturally?

Kristine: No you don’t! You deliver the teddie to Who!

Drea: Naturally.

Kristine: That’s different.

Drea: That’s what I said.

Kristine: You’re not saying that.

Drea: I deliver the teddie to Naturally?

Kristine: You deliver it to Who.

Drea: Naturally.

Kristine: That’s it.

Drea: That’s what I said!

Kristine: Listen, you asked me.

Drea: I deliver the teddie to who?

Kristine: Naturally.

Drea: Now you ask me.

Kristine: You deliver the teddie to Who?

Drea: Naturally.

Kristine: That’s it.

Drea: Same as you!

Kristine: You just changed them around.

Drea: Same as you! I deliver the teddie to who. Whoever it is drops the package, the girl looks for a girl in a business suit, she picks up the package, delivers it to what, what delivers it to I don’t know, I don’t know delivers it to tomorrow, TADA!

Kristine: Yes.

Drea: Another girl finds the package gets up, and delivers it to because. Why? I don’t know, she’s wearing a miniskirt! Non possa dare uno mandare al diavolo!

Kristine: Oh…you said?

Drea: I said, I don’t give a damn!

Kristine: Oh, that’s Pippa…it’s really all about her anyway!

Drea: (Che cosa e…..&^$*_%**#)

With a tip of the hat to Fiona Who, Bobbie What, Melanie Why, JenniBrock I Don’t Know, Breanna Tomorrow, Breebot Electronically, Jesse Absolutely, Lexa Certainly, Sephy Most Definitely, Laika Positively, Ananga_Ranga Assuredly, Abenderx Naturally, Jenny Adorably, Yuki Without a Doubt, Lori Indubitably, Jessica Importantly, Jenny Most Definitely, Nobody IN PARTICULAR, Pippa Damnably, and everyone who enjoys chatting.

A Dusty Closet Production. Australian version available through Alison Productions Ltd. Distributed by Barbarella Trading Far East

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Comments

Hahaha

Good job I have not been in the chat room for a while, lest I end up in one of your sketches! Nice one - take care - Jay


Come release the inner twaddle: My blog => http://jaym.angelblogs.co.uk/

That which does not kill me only serves to delay the inevitable. My blog => http://jaynemorose.wordpress.com/ <= note new address

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

NoraAdrienne's picture

Bud and Lou are spinning in their graves over this theft of material.

But we still love the routine.

You must know...

Andrea Lena's picture

...imitation is the sincerest form of larceny, yes?


She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

OMG MOM!!!!!!!!!!!

Love the tattoo!!! I think I once heard this skit on a DVD? But it was about baseball? I would know that. :D

Your Brat

Bud and Lou...

Puddintane's picture

Although their sketch became very famous, there were similar skits performed by almost every comedy act in the USA and the UK throughout the early Thirties.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who%27s_on_First%3F

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M

Very few jokes are new, and it seems certain that Babylonian Court Jesters were making fun of people's names long before any comic whose name is known to us was born.

Nebuchadnezzar! Nebuchadnezzar!

Gesundheit!

Cheers,

Puddin'

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

Do you realise ...

... how many people you're putting out of work just because you don't like mustard? ;)

From the same stable.

Robi

'Drea, I laughed myself

'Drea,
I laughed myself silly reading your darling little take off on the famous Abbott and Costello bit. You recreated it very nicely and kept it straight on track. Hugs, Jan

Abbott And Costello Have Met Their Match!

jengrl's picture

Abbott and Costello have met their match!They are probably laughing in Heaven over this too! I am laughing so hard I might pee my panties. Both of you are two of the greatest on BC. I loved it!!!!!

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

ROFLMAOPIMP

(...whatever that means, something about being very funny, I think.)

Pretty damn good! (See, I do give a damn!) Excellent recycling job!

Once in a while, it's not all about me. :P

ROFLMAOPIMP

I have it on good authority (I was lurking there at the time) This one was original to the "WomenforWomenNoSmut" chatroom on AOL in 1992. If any of the old crowd have made it here, I was at the time Froggy1492 (an adventurous amphibian with froglets).

The meaning you ask??

Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off Peeing In My Panties

Thus endeth the lesson, Next???

Mia Sorella Dulce, I'm laughing so hard I'm ROFLMAOPIMP...

Bettina

next time you're in Patterson

laika's picture

You should read it to Lou. And now I wonder what a t.g. version of NIAGRA FALLS would be like?
("WONDERBRA?!!! Slowly I turned ..... step by step ..... inch by inch...") This one's a hoot!
~~~big squeezy hugs, Laika

.
I do miss the chatroom, Kristine & everybody. Damned computer glitch!

You must be friends with the Howard girls, yes

Andrea Lena's picture

...Maura, Lois and Curly? Any anti-viral treatment on the horizon? Miss you terribly.


She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

I was thinking of the abbot & costello version

laika's picture

same ancient skit (the origins traced to 2nd dynasty Sumeria), but a quick search reveals the trigger word in their
version was "Pokomoko" and first done in their 1944 film LOST IN A HAREM (Now there's a set-up for a tg story!).
At the risk of heresy, the stooges never did it for me. Their timing, the unabashed brainless sadism of it all.
(and yes I recognize that this was the point, but they gave me more headaches than laughs...)
But I did love Curley's "Woobooobooboobooboobooboobooboobooboo!"
~~important stuff here, huh? Hugs, Laika

OMG- Drea! Thank you for the treat - and for my role in it!

KristineRead's picture

OMG- Drea! Thank you for the treat - and for my role in it!

That is just too funny, but lest anyone be unclear, this was entirely your work. I may have inspired it with our chat the other night about my absolute love for "Who's on first" and the link to a youtube of it, but dang girl that is just too darn funny!

Thanks for this gift, what a wonderful thing to come home tonight too!

Hugs,

Kristy (Abbott) Roland

Might have to do Burns and Allen next...

Perfect Batting Order

RAMI

Dear Andrea:

Bravo - a great job, very well done and perfectly crafted.
Well here is the perfect line up

Who is on First
What’s on Second
I don’t give a darn is Shortstop
I don’t know is on Third
Today is Catching
Tomorrow is Pitching
Why is in Left
Because is in Center

But is there someone in Rightfield it appears not! Help

RAMI

I guess its not Andea's namesake Joltin Joe D "because" he played Center

RAMI

Right Field Was Open...

...in the original, I've read, because Lou was joining the team and there needed to be a position for him to play.

Eric

I thought...

erin's picture

Didn't he answer his own question?

Someone is in right field. :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Memories !!

ALISON

Just magnificent,'Drea.I thought I would be the only one old enough to remember one of the greatest gags ever seen on the silver screen,but it is obvious that we have more than our share of comedy buffs in this Virtual Family.Just loved it.ALISON

ALISON

Rainman

. . .would be enthralled. And K-Mart still sucks.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Just so you know

bobbie-c's picture

Well. That was fun :)

Just so you know -

I have five suits which I wear to the office: two charcoal gray, a black, a beige, and a navy blue. With matching skirts or slacks. And they go with my one pastel pink, pastel green, ivory (two of 'em) and one black blouse. Mix n match pieces are the secret to stretching a girl's wardrobe y'know.

But then again, I only wear suits to the office maybe twice a week, for meetings and such. The rest of the time, we wear that the employee manual calls "smart casual".

Just so you know. (glf)

Bobbie "What" Cabot

p.s. Great post, Aunt Andrea

oh my

I think i wet my panties laughing. thanks!

DogSig.png

I laughed like I have never laughed before.

This is a very good take on Who's On First with Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. You should see the video of the skit when they do it, it is so hilariously funny. I laughed all through this Drea, because this is excactly the same. But just remember that like Who's on first, and I don't know is on third, that this little skit is the same format. Who's wearing the lingerie, What is wearing the business suit, and because is wearing the ball gown, it comes down to all of this being mind boggling and I don't give a darn. Say that again. I don't give a darn. Oh she's our seamtress.

This was great Drea and thank you for making me laugh. This definitely made my day.

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

Men At Work

joannebarbarella's picture

Have just been found guilty of plagiarism on their hit song "A Land Down Under". Supposedly they ripped off a 70-year-old folk song . I've listened to the tune repeatedly and I'm buggered if I can hear any resemblance, but I thought I'd better warn you that I want my cut for the distribution before you get sued for this piece.

Electronic transfer to Barbarella Trading Far East,
HSBC Account No. 004-033-1311591-002

And make it snappy,

Joanne

definitely a resemblance

kristina l s's picture

But to then extrapolate that as a deliberate take off is a bit rich. Having played some it's almost impossible not to unconsciously use phrases (written or musical) that echo anothers work. I have to somewhat cynically wonder if the song had not been such a big hit would they bother? I suspect they may appeal this one.

Kristina

A case in point...George Harrison wrote one of his most

Andrea Lena's picture

...famous songs with a melody rattling around it his head..."My Sweet Lord," which he actually never remembered a girl group record as "He's So Fine" years before.


She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

And Ray Parker, Jr.

KristineRead's picture

And Ray Parker, Jr. plagarised the music for Ghostbusters! from Huey Lewis' I wanna new Drug.

This was particularly eggregious, since the producers originally wanted Huey to write the song, and told Ray Parker to write something like I wanna new drug.

If you listen to them, Ghostbuster's is simply sped up version of I wanna new drug.

Hugs,

Kristy

Eight notes

Puddintane's picture

Music isn't like words, in which there are millions of words to chose from, so it doesn't take too many of them to almost guarantee utter newness.

Music isn't like that at all, and has a limited range of notes which can be played, typically an eight bar phrase, followed by another in the same form, an intervening eight-bar section with a different harmonic basis, and then a final return to the first bit of melody. Other forms are possible, but in western music that's a very typical pattern. If you take any particular bar, it's fairly likely that something similar has been done before, just as many people have used the word "moonlight."

On the other hand, the flute motif is exactly the kookaburra tune, which is taught to every schoolchild in Australia, and Girl Scouts and Girl Guides all around the world, so they probably thought it was a typical Australian folksong, and wasn't copyrighted. They were wrong, and the song wasn't as old as they probably thought it was. The American "Happy Birthday" song is the same sort of thing, but with much less justification, because it's really, really old.

Happy Birthday to You

The birthday song was simply ripped off from the public domain, and the copyright enforced by a bunch of pirates, but the Kookaburra song actually has a history, and belongs to the Girl Guides.

Kookaburra Song

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

I've done things like that, sort of

erin's picture

For me, what I often do is take two songs from different sources, use the melody from one and the rhythm from the other then make changes to make it sound good. My tune "Tennessee Raincoat" is based on the secondary melody of Tennessee Waltz combined with the rhythm of a Mexican folk song. You can sing both songs to it but it is really quite different from either one. The rhythm is waltzy but with 4/4 and 5/4 measures at the end of phrases.

I haven't published these songs so there's no copyright infringement, I just wrote them and play them for my own enjoyment.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

translated into a better language

All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated. . . .

          Anthony Hopkins, in a movie; unattributed (but I'm sure no one in four hundred years had said it in as fine a voice as Hopkins'[s])

If that connection (beyond Hophins' screenwriter's use) seems to esoteric or tenuous: Muddy Waters, about his song, "Walking Blues"

I made it on about the eighth of October '38, . . . . I had been mistreated by a girl. I just felt blue, and the song fell into my mind and it come to me just like that and I started singing. [asked about the tune] This song comes from the cotton field and a boy once put a record out—Robert Johnson. He put it out as named ‘Walkin' Blues'. I heard the tune before I heard it on the record. I learned it from Son House.

It all really comes from 'the cotton fields', or some place similar, it's all a "Catch 22", right?

[Andrea, no way i believe Harrison never heard The Chiffons'. I'd believe Kitty Wells never heard "Wild Side of Life' first. That he didn't think of it during the months it took to get the recording made -- maybe.]

Jan

Harrison and the Chiffons

Puddintane's picture

On the other hand, all the Beatles were mad for US blues and rhythm and blues music, and made quite a study of it, as did Mick Jagger and countless other British musicians of their generation. One of the problems of being a musician is that one develops a memory for sound patterns without necessarily a memory of where the pattern came from. It's very difficult to go from a tune to a song name and author, so it's hard to check one's memory without interviewing a lot of other musicians and asking them if they remember it.

Harrison himself admitted during the court proceedings that he'd heard the song when it was popular.

http://abbeyrd.best.vwh.net/mysweet.htm

On the other hand, the Chiffon's version bombed, so Harrison obviously brought a little something more to the table than the raw tune.

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

Who's Sorry, Now?

This reminds me of the classic Abott and Costello skit :Who's On First.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Just caught this

in the solos box.
Very cute take on a classic. I giggled, so mission accomplished.

Steve

A hidden gem

gillian1968's picture

I couldn’t stop laughing. It helps if you’ve seen the original routine, which was making the rounds of the reaction videos about a year ago.

But your retelling of it is hoot!

Gillian Cairns

Thanks for commenting on this

KristineRead's picture

Thanks for commenting on this, I had not read it in a long time. I loved being included by Drea.

I miss the old chat room so much, and so many of the people mentioned in this piece. Brings back some wonderful memories.

Kristy