The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #74: The Girl Who Had FFS, and the Bunny: Goodbye, Anne and Angel To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

I very infrequently visit the site anymore. There are many reasons why. But more than anything, it’s probably because I am not the same person I was before that relied on the site for more than just wanting to read stories. It is, perhaps, because of who I am and how I changed.

But more about that later, I think.

The reason I am posting this time is because I read Aunt Andrea’s New Year’s blogpost about Annette MacGregor. And that Aunt Andrea found her name in the “In Memoriam” box…

I looked, and, yes, her name, as well as Angel O’Hare’s name was there…

As I said, I am not the same person who first visited BCTS over six years and a half years ago. Over my short time as a member of the site, I have changed, or perhaps I should say “evolved” (though I hesitate to use that word because it makes me sound so snooty), into a different person. I am not going to say I am okay now, or a person who is more secure (‘coz I am still as neurotic as ever lol), but I think I am better than before. As to how much, I will not say heehee.

I am sorry for rambling - something people here know me for. An the only reason I am saying this now is to explain why I have not been around here for such a long time. I am not justifying or making an excuse - I am just explaining why. And I am sorry.

Since this is a web-place and not RL, our interactions are, of course, only through our responses to each of our posts or stories or comments or messages: We are who we write, and we become who we will be because what we read. And for me, two of those people whose stuff I read are Angel and Annette. These two are, in fact, big “contributors” to my “evolution.” I am more entrenched in “normal” daily stuff nowadays - or as normal as anyone like me can. And perhaps because I am moving away from my “old world” to my “new world” I guess I am keeping touch with my old world less and less. For example, instead of obsessing about how to behave more normally, my current concerns are more picayune, like keeping the house clean, railing against traffic, keeping up with office gossip and news from my family and folks, and my spouse’s family and folks. And kids. :)

But I will never cease to be grateful to my friends in BCTS, and how I was able to work through my… problems with their help, and there is no chance that I will forget them. They know who they are. These include Annette and Angel.

One of my less-well-received stories was called “The Witching Hour.” In it, I named the main character Angel, which I mentioned was because the story was influenced by Angel O’Hare’s stories (an irate reader who had a bone to pick actually said something like, no wonder the story was like that if Angel was involved. Whether the reader has something against my story or hated Angel, I didn’t know which, but Angel defended me and my story to that reader. And from there, we had an on-again-off-again email-based friendship. Angel would be the first to tell you that she isn’t too quick to respond to email, but she did occasionally, and I guess that was enough for me.

For Annette, or Anne as she preferred me to call her, whoever read my old blog would know Annette was an avid follower. That’s because she posted in-depth comments in almost all my posts, and would ask some very detailed questions via her comments or her email.

Her questions began with questions mostly about specific technical details, such as what were the specific procedures I went through, how much they were, how the recovery was, how was plastic surgery was after, what the effect of sunbathing would be, how do voice lessons work, tips on fashion (though I don’t know much about that, really, except what I learned from Moe-moe and friends, etc.), and so many more things.

But as our correspondences progressed, her questions became less about the details but more about how I was - the little life lessons I learned, how I interacted with folks, and how folks interacted with me.

She kept on saying that the reason she had all of these questions was because of her plan to start transitioning as well. I told her that there were so many other resources, and lots more expert the lil ole me. But she and I continued to correspond. Up until I dropped out of BCTS, sort of. My fault, of course.

It wasn’t one-way, too. She would tell me about her job on the road, and how she and her spouse, and her two girls related. It seemed to me she was all set to “begin” her journey with a family that was very supportive. She even said she had FFS surgery done already, and she even sent some post-surgery pictures (although based on the pictures, the procedures seemed to be minor. To be truthful, I couldn’t see any work done.).

But I read in some of the responses to Aunt Andrea’s New Year post that Anne had gone into a hospice? So, she had a terminal condition? I lost track already - my last PM from her was June 2013 and our last email was August 2013.

If I only knew…

It is sad. I just wish I’d had an opportunity to talk with them more, that I had known something was going on.

There are so many could-have-beens and I-wish-I could-have…

Goodbye my dear friends. All my love and all my prayers. Talk to you again sometime.
  

click here to read my old Working Girl Blogs, click here to read all of my blogs, click here to read my stories in BCTS, and click here to see my profile & know more about me.

Note:

Lots of graphics in Bobbi's posts use publicly-accessible pics from the net: No ownership is claimed nor IP infringements intended

---

click here  for the prev. Family Girl post
click here  for the next Family Girl  post
click here for the Family Girl MainPage

---