I AM telling the truth!

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”I AM telling the truth.” Phil, my oldest son, repeated.

Between us on the table lay the very pretty and obviously very expensive silk dress that I had found in his closet and my 18 year old daughter said he had stolen from her closet.

I was getting more and more angry. I can’t stand lying and stealing. I had long suspected that my somewhat effeminate 20 year-old son might be gay or transgender. Well, he’s an adult and while I wouldn’t exactly have been happy I’d still love him. Of course I’d preferred if he was more like my younger son. Only 15, well 16 next week, and already the second most valuable player in Grover Cleveland* High’s baseball team. Come to think about it I really had had an easy life as a parent so far. Neither of my sons had ever caused me any problems. Helen sometimes but that’s another matter. This only made me even angrier now. Not only had he stolen something valuable. And from family! And on top of that he kept insisting on his ridiculous lies!

“So you say that you bought this expensive dress as a present. Who would you give something like this to? You’re only back from college this summer because your girlfriend dumped you in the most hurtful way two weeks ago and you couldn’t stand staying in the dorms over summer since she would around all the time! So who would you give a ridiculously expensive dress to?”

“I can’t tell you.”

The door to my study opened and Mike, my younger son, entered.

“Mike, leave us alone. This is a matter between Phil and me.”

“Sorry dad, but it’s urgent. I have to talk to you at once.”

Well, when Mike says something is urgent he means it so I went out in the hallway and closed the door behind me.

“Well?”

“Dad, I think Phil is telling the truth.”

“You do? Why? His defense is ridiculous.”

“Has Phil ever lied to about something important even if telling the truth could hurt him?”

“…Nnnooo…”

“If you had a closer look at the dress you’d find that even if he’s skinny there is no way he could fit into it.”

“ um?”

“Further, I hate to say it but our sister is a greedy lying bitch.”

“Mike!”

“Sorry dad. Even if you’re reluctant to admit it your daughter is an avaricious and vindictive teenage girl that has an extremely relaxed relationship with truth. Further, that dress did not come out of Helen’s closet. You may not be very observant dad but I know very well what’s in Helen’s closet. Also, if you would let Helen put on the dress you would find that it’s rather tight on her which admittedly would fit Helen’s claim that she’s had it for ages. However, I happen to know that this is a brand new model. It does come from Helen’s favorite shop but I saw them put up the new collection on the mannequins there last Saturday while I was waiting for Phil to pick me up from the mall. I was still admiring that dress when he arrived a little bit late.”

“You’re really sure about this?”

“I’m 100% sure. Go back in there now and apologize to Phil! …. and dad … I think you and I need to have a little talk afterwards.”

.

.

* Apart from FDR the only US president to win the popular vote three times.

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Comments

I have to say

I saw this one coming. The fact that you like giving your stories that little twist meant that the obvious wasn't the obvious so as soon as the supposedly all boy son was mentioned I knew who the dress was for. Still a nice well written story.

Commentator
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I have a feeling ...

... that I know where this is going :)

Thinness

Daphne Xu's picture

I kept reading this over and over again, trying to find a hint that Mike is thinner than Helen. But I kept missing it, if it exists. But I did find two other clues that Phil bought the dress for Mike, and that Mike has been borrowing Helen's clothes.

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

I saw it.

The inference was in the age. It was briefly mentioned that Mike was the younger son and, if you have any recollection of being a teenager, you'll recall that most girls hit their height growth spurts YEARS BEFORE males do. This places Mike as the smallest of the three siblings.

It was said that Helen was a teenager hence she had hit her growth spurt already. (some points are almost subtle but they are there.)

Hope that helps! :)

Mike is the youngest and smallest

as Foxxe noted. I didn't leave a clear indication that Mike was smaller but a 15 year old "boy", well soon-to-be sweet 16, might very well be smaller than his 18 year old sister.

Teenage height

However, I was 6 feet tall by my 14th birthday and my full adult height of 6' 2" by my 15th birthday. Since my older sister topped out at just shy of 5' 6", I was taller than she was when I was 12.

SOLO? Bru, what do you mean SOLO?

SOLO? Bru, what do you mean SOLO?

Where is the rest of the story? Please don't leave us on this cliff with the access path crumbling behind us.

Loved this story and the fresh approach.

Huh?

I had no idea about this. Solo eh? Sure about that?

Gwen

Flash

Elsbeth's picture

Nice story with a twist.

-Elsbeth

Is fearr Gaeilge briste, ná Béarla clíste.

Broken Irish is better than clever English.

Mike appears, at least

Mike appears, at least mentally, more girl than boy. He is the one the dress was bought for, and he has stated he knows what clothes his sister has in her closet; plus the fact that he is very aware of current female fashions. If the Dad was more in tune with what is going on around him, he would have picked up on all this already and most likely the Mother as well, if she is still around the family.

Okay, so NOT funny

BarbieLee's picture

The doppelganger you people sent in to replace Bru is a total wash. This doesn't pass the smell test. Or..., the greatest spin would be no spin? Wait, I'm confusing myself. Ah I have it. The greatest deception is to be obvious..., um..., The girl says she is coming to the party in disguise. She shows up dressed to the nines as all girl. Everyone there wastes the whole night trying to figure out her disguise????
Never mind, I got a headache. This is a Bru story disguised as a non Bru story so we all waste the whole day trying to figure out what the Goddess of Mentally Twisted Tales had up her sleeve with this one. I think my headache is turning into a migraine. I'm going to put in a Disney movie, Snow White and try to get Bru's evil genius out of my mind. It's hard when I haven't really decided whether Bru is she, he, or an alien sent to twist our minds out of a hold on sanity.

I loved this one. It really was a smack on the head.
always,
Barb

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

All of the below?

Daphne Xu's picture

"It's hard when I haven't really decided whether Bru is she, he, or an alien sent to twist our minds out of a hold on sanity."

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

This is a story by Bru

I never doubted Phil for a moment. It's just all the other characters I had to worry about. Phil and the youngest daughter seem to be class acts. The oldest daughter, not so much.

Thank you! I wondered how ong it would take

for someone to comment on Phil, who in my opinion is the hero of the story.
1. He buys an expensive dress for what he had realised is his younger sister's 16th birthday
2. Even when under pressure from the father Phil is not prepared to throw Mike under the bus.

Soo...

So Phil bought it for his brother who's sister was jealous because she didn't have the dress whereas she had a bitch moment deciding to snag the dress that she wanted who was then outed by the younger brother who had been promised the dress and having found out his sisters nefarious plan dares her to put it on knowing that it had been cut for him.

And in all of this the dad really needed the clue because he'd watched to many sitcoms falling into the gullibility of having not watched enough of Drake and Josh on how a girl would act.