Why Did You Say No? –
Morgan Metcalfe said down on a bench to watch the cavalcade of students rush about at his community college between their classes. He had decided to go there for two years before starting university. It would save him about $50,000 in student loans. On this day, he had some time to kill and some lunch he had made at home. He liked to people watch. Morgan was so engrossed in watching the crowd that he failed to notice her walk up behind him. Mary studied him for a moment wondering if she should interrupt his observations, but something compelled her to ask a question that haunted her since their sophomore year in high school.
“Excuse me, Morgan.” Morgan slowly detached from his focus and realized his name had just been called by her. He turned to look up at her. He didn’t really recognize her at first and then a distant memory must have tickled a neuron in his brain.
“Um, I know you. But I don’t think I remember your name.”
“Do you remember a young teenage girl at Castle High School who asked you during lunch, in front of all your friends if you would like to f...”
Before she could get out the last word, which was an F bomb, he stopped her. “And make love. Yes, I do remember you now.” His reluctance to use the expletive must have piqued her curiosity even more. She clearly had to know the answer to her question.
“May I ask you a different question, if you don’t mind?” She came around in front of him. He looked her up and down. There was some fear in his eyes, but she couldn’t tell why.
“Okay, as long as it isn’t that one, I guess.” Morgan said meekly.
“Why did you say no?”
“You mean no to us doing, you know?” He blushed and she could tell was a bit shy on the subject.
“Yes, why? I mean, that was every teenage boys’ wet dream. For a girl to say she wanted to ...” She stopped because she could tell how uneasy he felt about saying the word.
Morgan was flustered. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Religious objections?” she said thoughtfully.
“There is that, but ...”
“Are you gay?”
“Oh, no, I-I am not gay.”
“Do you mind if I sit down. I promise not to bite.”
“Please, do sit down.” Morgan got up and let her sit down on the bench before he sat back down himself.
“There is an example of what I knew about you at school. You were always the perfect gentleman. You never cussed. You were kind and gentle. In fact, I don’t think you knew, but you had the reputation of being too nice.” Morgan was uneasy with all the fuss being made about him by her. That much was obvious to her. But her curiosity was obliviously killing the cat.
“I guess I wasn’t the most aggressive guy back then. I never even went to the prom because I was too afraid to ask a girl out on a date. Still am, frankly.”
Mary shook her head. “But you are an extrovert. I saw you get up numerous times during student council meetings, or the one history class we were in, or any other numbers of times I saw you. That isn’t the reason.” She looked at him for a long moment. “I guess I should let it go. But, I can't help but remember that I could tell it bothered you to reject my stupid question. Your friends teased me about what my profession was as a result and called me names, but you didn’t. When we did have a history class together, you were kind to me and never brought it up. When the others in the class picked on me for not knowing the answer to the teachers question, you piped up and said that if we all knew the answers, we wouldn’t need to go to school and to leave me alone. What they didn’t know and you didn’t know is that my father had just died and I was too emotional to study. Your willingness to come to my defense helped me that day.”
Morgan smiled at hearing he had helped her. At that moment, a little girl bounded up and jumped between them. “Hi uncle Morgan! Is this your girlfriend?”
“No, Cassie. She is someone I went to school with in High School.” Morgan calmly replied.
Cassie’s mother came up and introduced herself to Mary. “Hi, I am Paige MacAuley. Cassie’s mom.” The two shook hands. “It is so nice out. She would like to play outside today, if you don’t mind Morgan? Morgan watches Cassie while I take a class. They usually play in the cafeteria for an hour or so.”
“Then let me go get her usual apple juice from the machine and I will be right back.” Morgan headed off to a machine and the ladies talked. Cassie grabbed her doll and began to play on the grass.
“So, Cassie was asking if you were his girlfriend. Are you?”
“No, as a matter of fact, that is why I am sitting here. I was curious why he never accepted my advances in high school. He is such a nice man and not unattractive. He says he is not gay, but I have to wonder.”
“I know what you mean. I made a significant pass at him sometime ago and I could tell he didn’t like it. But, Cassie just loves him. And he doesn’t mind watching her in the cafeteria. And frankly, I asked one of the ladies on the cafeteria staff if she thought he might be interested in little girls for, you know, and she said that one time Cassie came out of the bathroom with her panties showing and his immediate reaction when he saw her was that he lectured her sternly that she was to be modest and never show a boy, even him, her ‘unmentionables. Ladies don’t do that, etc.’ So, if anything, he seems to be just an old fashioned prude.” Paige looked at her daughter playing. “But, if he is so old fashioned, I don’t get why he doesn’t mind playing dolls with her. He lets her play all her little girl games. He will make a wonderful dad someday.”
“So, you would go to bed with him in a moment too?”
“Yeah, I would. He is cute and sexy in his own way. He just is so different. For example, this one girl from one of our classes, deliberately sat next to him leaning over so he could look down her blouse. He looked briefly, but I could tell he wasn’t interested. He was nice to her. But, she was clearly frustrated because his eyes don’t wander like most guys. Yet, I do catch him on the bench checking out women as they walk by. The whole woman. Not just her assets, if you know what I mean.”
When Morgan came back with an apple juice for Cassie, the two went and played on the grass. Mary joined them after Paige went off to class. She watched as he played with her. Cassie asked him to tell her a story. He told her a story about two mermaids who were best friends and how an evil mermaid kidnapped one of them and how the other came to rescue her. Cassie loved the story and asked him to tell her the story again and again.
After Paige picked up her daughter, Mary and Morgan got up and were brushing the grass off their clothes when Mary stopped, turned to Morgan, and said, “That’s why you said no. You love kids!”
Morgan smiled at her statement which seemed to answer Mary’s question for the moment. The two bid each other adieu.
A week later, on a rainy day, Morgan was playing with Cassie in the cafeteria as was usual. After Paige picked up Cassie, Mary came over and caught Morgan before he left. She sat down and looked him in the eye and smiled.
“I thought I had my question answered. And then, it occurred to me, after I left, you didn’t say anything. You just smiled. You let me believe that was the reason. Can we talk for a moment, please?”
Morgan looked worried. “Why do you really need to know? I am just a guy whom you knew in ...”
“Please, I won’t hurt you. I … I just need to know. I mean … I beat guys off with a stick. And there is something about you that is haunting me.”
Morgan looked down for a moment and then back at her with tears welling up in his eyes. “Can’t you just let this drop, please?” Morgan quietly got up to leave with her sitting there transfixed. She was about to say something and stopped. She looked down. “Look, Mary, I appreciate I am an enigma to you. But, I like my privacy, okay. Please, don’t ask again.”
She looked up as if to say, ‘all right.’ Morgan smiled as if to say ‘okay’ and shifted his weight about to walk away. He turned and was about to take his first step when Mary said in a quiet voice, “How long have you known you are a girl?”
Morgan stopped, his eyes glazed over in panic. He closed his eyes and shook his head. Then he moved forward with leaden steps. Mary stood up and came along side him and put her hand on his shoulder. He turned to her and said, “I really don’t want to talk about it.” A few tears ran down his cheek. That was more than he said the week before when he said nothing after she proclaimed he loved kids.
“You need to talk with someone, Morgan. Before it kills you. Will you talk to me, please?”
“Why do you care? Did you care when you asked me in high school?” There was a tinge of bitterness in his voice. The kind of voice that many women have when a man just wants to have sex with her and no relationship.
“I embarrassed you in front of your friends. I must have.”
“It’s okay. I told them you were setting me up to make fun of me and I wasn’t going to fall into that trap.” He looked away obviously feeling some disgust with himself. “I felt awful. I didn’t want to trash you. I didn’t want to look bad to my friends either.”
Mary apologized, “You felt guilty for my foolishness? It was my fault. I put you on the spot. I am sorry I hurt you.” Morgan sat down and put his head in his hands. She sat down next to him.
Morgan meekly asked, “Then why did you ask?”
“I was trying to hurt my Dad. He had been on my case about me and boys and I was angry. You were there. You had a reputation for being nice. I am glad you said no. A month later, I found out he had colon cancer. I realized that he was not himself and that he was taking it out on us. If you hadn’t said no, I would have done stupid things in revenge.”
Morgan’s slumped in his chair. “I am sorry for your loss. It isn’t easy to lose a Dad.”
“Thanks. Still, there are no friends to embarrass you now. Just me. Talk to me, please, about you? I care. I really do.” she gently put her hand again on his shoulder. The touch seemed to comfort and encourage him.
He sat back up. He didn’t look at her. He began to speak with measured tones working hard to keep his emotions from overwhelming him. “I was in sixth grade. The teacher was making some sarcastic comments about someone changing their sex. All I remember was that I was angry, but didn’t know why. On the bus ride home that afternoon, I came close to balling my eyes out. I was upset at what she had to say. I got off a couple of stops early so no one would see me cry and walked home in tears through back alley ways praying no one would see me. Half way home, I realized that the reason I was angry was that I was a g ...” He stopped and began to quietly sob.
“That you were a girl.” He nodded. “Please, go on.” she said.
He placed his head in his hands again. Mary patiently waited. At last, he raised his head and continued staring at the wall while doing so. “All I could think of as I walked home was that my real friends were girls. I liked talking to them and we never discussed sex. That is why your question hurt so much I think. I wanted a girl as a friend, not a girlfriend. As a kid, I discussed girl things with girls. What movies they liked. What clothes they liked. I would listen to them. They would listen to me. And then they changed into women and I lost my friends.”
“How about those guys at lunch back in high school? They were boys. What did you do with them?”
“Yeah. I would visit them in their homes growing up. We would go to their rooms and play with their matchbox racers or something like that. But, invariably, I would end up playing with their sister at some point. I can’t tell you how many times I ended up baking something in an easy bake oven with a sister of someone. I did that in a heartbeat. And, I never played football or baseball with my friends.”
“What happened when you got home?”
“I hid. I sat in my room and cried alone. I started to think about who I really was. Over the years, I would go in and play with my mother’s make up. Nothing serious. But, unlike boys my age, I knew how to use makeup remover. I also knew how to do nails. Then it hit me. I didn’t have posters on my wall like my friends. My room was neater than their rooms. And I had no real guy stuff. I never asked for any. I never wanted any.”
“I realized all the movies I loved weren’t action movies. I loved Seven Brides For Seven Brothers that we had in our VHS collection. While my older brother loved action movies like Top Gun, I would ask to see movies that my Mom liked to see. I pretended it was to make her happy. But, secretly I watched them because they made me happy. I enjoyed the love stories.”
“So, what are you going to do?” she asked while gently stroking his shoulder to comfort him.
“I wish I could tell you. Now that I am old enough to do something about it, I don’t know where to go or whom to talk to about it.”
“Can I help you?”
“Because you help so many with your talents. Cassie and her mom. Me with my Dad. I would venture to say that if I were to snoop around, I would find out that you have touched so many lives without ever asking for something in return. I think you are owed.”
Morgan tried to say something. He was clearly holding himself back from losing it. Mary continued. “My Mom downsized last year from our big home. I am the youngest. In exchange, she arranged for me to have an apartment for the four years of my college so she could move closer to family. So, I would like to invite you to my place where I will teach you everything you need to know about how to be a girl. I even have access to clothes that will fit you. Please say yes this time.”
“What if I decide to do it for real? Will you help me then?”
“I suspect that is why you are going here instead of university. You were saving money from your student loans for the surgery.”
For the next couple of months, Morgan learned everything she needed to know about being a woman. She was an eager student. She began taking blockers and hormones. Then, after visiting a psychologist, she was placed on a year long program of being a woman. Mary took her in as a roommate for the year.
By the time she was done with her community college, she was ready for the surgery. Traveling to Thailand, she got the surgery done. She returned to take regular classes at university completed. She didn’t need to change her name. Just her sex on her birth certificate, passport, and driver’s license.
The first day of being a junior was going to be in few days. They had gotten their schedules and were going over them. Morgan got up and made breakfast for both of them. They looked over their schedule.
“This will work out nicely, Mary. We should be able to drive to campus together. How do I look? Please be honest.” Morgan was excited to finally be a real woman at university but scared too.
“Don’t worry, you are a very pretty woman now. I think you will do fine. They did a great job on you. And the boys will be staring at you now instead of the girls.” They giggled. Mary went to her room to get her purse.
A knock came at the door. “I’ll get the door, Mary.” Morgan opened the door and a handsome man stood there quite a bit taller than her.
“Hello. Sorry to disturb you, I thought this was Mary Dwyer’s apartment.”
Morgan smiled at him. “It is. I am her roommate, Morgan.” Suddenly, Mary rushed past Morgan and jumped up onto him. Not in a sexual way. But her whole body was wrapped around him and she was giggling.
“Jason! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?" She was crying happy tears.
“Okay, Sis, tell me how you really feel?”
As she stood back up, she said, “Oh, shut up. Morgan, this is my brother Jason. You never met him at school because he is four years older than I am. He has graduated from university and is now doing well in insurance upstate.”
“Not anymore, the company has moved me back to here. They want me to take over as the manager of the insurance branch they have here. So, you will be seeing much more of me.”
Jason looked Morgan up and down with a smile on his face. It was evident that he liked what he saw. So much so, that the two started dating.
On a late October day, Jason popped the question. It turns out that Mary had Morgan donate sperm while he was learning to be a girl. If he transitioned, it would be for him so he could find a surrogate mom. If he didn’t, it would be for someone else. There was enough for her to give the two of them children that were biologically theirs, albeit, the roles reversed biologically.
They got married in March. Mary was the maid of honor.
So, while Mary finished her master’s degree in clinical psychology, she gave birth to Jason and Morgan’s children as a surrogate mother.
As Mary sat there watching Morgan take care of Morgan’s two children, she said to Morgan. “You do realize I finally got you to say yes.”
“What?” Morgan looked perplexed.
“Think about it. If we hadn’t had sex, after a fashion, you wouldn’t have these two wonderful kids, Alex and Irene. See, it is all because I don’t handle rejection well. I got my revenge for you saying no.” She winked and smiled wryly at Morgan.
The two giggled and hugged as best friends and sisters forever.
Copyright © 2017 by AuP reviner
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