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(caution tag just because...)
Alright, so this is my 4th blog post in as many days. Out of character much? Maaaybe.
This account has been active a little over 7 years and all that time has seen 5 blogs by yours truly, including this one. No other writing credits and only the occasional comment to say I've ever existed here at BCTS. Why then am I suddenly chatty? Simply put, why not?
Once upon a time I was a rather gregarious and outgoing person, happy with life and my decision to transition. Then there were the physical assaults. The verbal, mental, and emotional abuses. The incidental death threat by my brother during the holidays. Drama, drama, drama, blah-bl-blah. Deep, dark depression inside, "hope my mask looks alright" on the outside. Then tragedy. Or more so, I suppose.
Recently someone very close to me died. Then I almost died... A few times. Again. Hard to think straight when depression's shaking ya like a chew toy. Yup, kinda think some of you might know what I mean. Then it happened... My grief passed.
When I overcame my grief for them something funny happened - I realized I'd been grieving myself as well. I'd already climbed in the hole and pulled the dirt in after. It was just taking awhile for the services to catch up.
Here's the thing - My mom accepted me just as I am before she passed. We both knew I had been her daughter all along, even if it took a long time for it to sink in. It's been 6 months and I can still feel that last hug....
This quote might be familiar to some of you, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." And I'm not dead yet ffs, so guess that just leaves the other, hmm?
My name is Jenna Copeland, sometimes called Lynx or Mystlynx. (Yes, the Lynx is a fairly shy and elusive creature at times) Nice ta meet you all.
PS, I just quit smoking, part of that "get living" bit yanno, so am likely more than a little manic pfft.
Comments
Hello and Welcome
Hello and Welcome to the Big Closet.
Glad you decide to talk to us.
That might pouch me to talk more ;)
Hug tmf
Thank you
Thank you tmf, glad to be here ^^
There are so many awesome people here. Maybe talking is of the good?
Hugs
Jenna
Yes indeed, get busy living
The older I get, the less time I have for game playing with the rest of the world. I'd rather be upfront with people about the real me and have them reject me then and there, than live in fear that they will discover it and then reject me after we've developed a relationship.
I'm 73 and I intend to live the rest of my life to suit myself and let the devil take the hind most.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Heck yes!
Live live live! We only know where the road will take us if we get out there and start the adventure ^^
Right back at ya!
Nice to meet you too Jenna. I can relate a LOT to what you said about the either start living or start dying... I was there myself right when I made the choice to transition. I made the right choice, and I'm sure you've realized the same (Or at least I hope you have :-) ) While my Mom or Dad never got to truly know the real me, it was my step-dad that hung in there long enough to meet me. I can remember that hug as well, and the incredible feeling that went through me.
Glad to see ya more talkative, I try to comment as often as I can. Life (single parent) and my own writing kinda limits how much time I have to read others works... But I try...
Wishing ya much peace and love girl,
Becca Cross
I know I’m weird. The fact that I’m trans is probably one of the more normal things about me.
Transition...
I transitioned, umm, 7 years ago now, I think. When I came back to my families home town to help my mom through her final time, I made the difficult decision to adopt a gender neutral androgynous presentation to keep the peace (almost did me in pfft).
Mom kinda kicked my ass for that towards the end. She said to me, "Don't you let anybody do that to you!", and I'm taking it to heart lol
As to commenting.... I swear, the last few years it's like my brain slipped into neutral during any semi-social interaction. Obviously that's changing but I still find myself hitting a wall inside at times. Getting better, though (yay!)
Hugs
Jenna