It’s Not MY Fault!

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FYI: This is NOT a sequel to the story I posted earlier today.

In the dress shop two weeks before Prom.

Mother: It’s a lovely dress and you just look fabulous in it but it’s really expensive, James.

James: Mom! It’s not MY fault we’re here!

It’s not MY fault Sis bullied me into joining her for practicing endless hours for cheerleader tryouts because she was bored doing it alone.
It’s not MY fault Sis sabotaged the three girls that could have beaten her in the tryouts.
It’s not MY fault Sis blackmailed the quarterback into dating her.
It’s not MY fault Sis got caught holding up that liquor store and was thrown in prison
It’ not MY fault that SOMEONE had to step in and save the cheerleading squad with only one hour’s notice AND to maintain the old school tradition that members of the football team only date cheerleaders.
It’s all Sis’ fault. Her and the stupid school tradition's.
SOOO – I’m not going to the Prom in a cheap dress!

Quarterback (who is also in the store):
Please, Mrs Beaconsfield. You can’t deny that James looks very beautiful in that dress and the cheaper dress does not suit him at all. He has been a good sport and we both want him to have an unforgettable Prom, don’t we?

Mother: I’m so sorry Lawrence for all the problems our family has caused you. How kind of you not to make an issue of James substituting for Laura.

Quarterback: Mrs Beaconsfield, from my point of view things have turned out much better than I had hoped. No offence but I’m relieved that Laura is in prison. James is in every way a much better girlfriend than Laura ever was; cute, kind, caring, intelligent, vivacious, a great cheerleader

and an AWESOME kisser!

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Comments

It's much better than your

It's much better than your toilet humor,think of it as your pallet cleanser ;)

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

All that protesting

shot to hell with the last line. Chuckle.

...sadly, quite true.

...sadly, quite true.

No offence to Melanie Brown but this story summed up her entire series in a nutshell. All that was missing was being blackmailed by the school once s/he was found out but him/her sister being arrested instead gives it enough deviation to be its own story...

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Although...

laika's picture

...this story relies on readers knowing the general gist of teenage
reluctant/stuck/gradual-acceptance stories for its comic punch.
If it had been posted in 1999 it wouldn't be nearly as effective.

True...sadly, true

True...sadly, true

Thankfully, storytelling has evolved over the years especially due to the amazing writers like our resident mermaid and countless others who moved it above where it was 20 years ago!

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Really!

and a good kisser too!

Face meet Palm

BarbieLee's picture

Bru, sweety, I believe that last bottle of Confederate Jack's white lightning you been nipping has put your brain train on the siding waiting for a serious thought. I really strongly suggest you don't do any "jobs" for the next few days. Have the strawberries and chocolates analyzed. Someone might have sprinkled them with crystal meth. If you can remember long enough to tell your driver, have him pick me up. I'll come by and nurse you back to health. Someone needs to look out for you besides all those who want to put a knife in your back.

Hugs and stay safe. The world wouldn't be the same without you.
always,
Barb

PS: The story? Sis in prison? Kinda dark. Acceptable though.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Someone would stab Bru in the

Someone would stab Bru in the back? Why would anyone want to harm the monarch of the ending?!?!

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Stabbing

Barbie Lee lives under the delusion that I'm an international spy and a master of disguises.
It's quite harmless and I have no intention of having her commited.

Seriously, this is just a back and forth between us.

Also, I'm honored that you think that I'm the monarch of the ending

Who? Me? Serious?

No fun!
After testing and removing the "special" strawberrys and chocolates the world is no longer psychedelic. I blame you!

If you come to me it's OK. As for going out in the farming district - I have those nightmares about peasants, pitchforks and torches. I almost forgot, don't bring any garlic.

Live long and prosper
Bru

PS
Since Sis hade become such a bitch in my mind I just couldn't let her only break a leg. That wasn't really her style.

PPS
I hope the Palm tree wasn't damaged.

Football

Sure sounds alot more interesting than I remember from high school, of course I was watching from the band so I might of missed the good stuff.

Time is the longest distance to your destination.

You nicked my story title...

But you are more than welcome to keep it. I'll just have to use 'It is not ALWAYS HIS Fault' instead.

Those two stories have brightened up the end of a hard day.
Samantha

Sorry, (looking into the ground and shuffling my feet)

I'm sorry I'm doing this to you. At first when I saw the subject line I thought I had used a title that you already had used for one of your stories. It might very well happen (I don't check before).

I look forward to reading 'It is not ALWAYS HIS Fault' (and remember it's not ALWAYS my fault).

Bru

The story is not even written yet

but all the essential parts are clear in my mind.
Actually, the title "It is not ALWAYS HIS Fault" is the name of a Play that is being performed in Tobermory, Mull, Scotland over the summer.
This play is a comedy but my story is far from one.

Samantha

Enemies

Daphne Xu's picture

Pardon me, but the Quarterback has just made an enemy of James and his family.

"No offence but I’m relieved that Laura is in prison."

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

Re: Enemies

We aren't getting the full story, just brief blurbs of recent events that have led to the situation described in the story.

Sis bullied James. Sis sabotaged three girls during cheer tryouts. Sis blackmailed the quarterback into dating her.

When the sister held up the liquor store, we were not told if she was armed at the time, say with a gun or a badass knife.

We were not told, if a weapon was carried in the commission of the offence, if she actually used said weapon to harm someone.

We were not told, if such a weapon was used to harm someone, if the injury was minor, critical, or worse, ended in death.

The possibilities of what might have happened during that liquor store robbery are endless. We only know a robbery attempt happened.

I'm in no way saying that you are wrong, Daphne, but without all the facts about the robbery, we just don't know enough.

What we do learn is that the sister was not a nice person, going to any length at all to get what she wanted.

True.

Daphne Xu's picture

True.

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

High Larry Us

Iolanthe Portmanteaux's picture

This popped up as a random solo, and it made me laugh out loud. Nice job, boiling down the tropes.

- io

I just love tropes, prejudices and preconceptions

You can have sooo much fun with them!
I just realised I've been involved in destilling. Is this still illegal?

Thank you for commenting on an old story.