Everyone was really great yesterday. I went to the bathroom and washed my face so I didn't look like I was crying my head off. By the time I came out everyone had already eaten and the movie of the night had just started. They all said how nice I looked and then Emily let me eat on the couch with a tray and plenty of napkins so I didn't miss more of the movie. At least when I promised to be really careful, which I did. I didn't want to make a mess on their nice furniture at all, or my pretty new clothes.

Saturday morning I slept in a bit late. I just didn't want to wake up so I decided to shower early. No sooner did I get out of the shower a slip of paper slid under the door. “Friendly reminder to moisturise.” Ugh, wasted a perfectly good eye roll and nobody was here to see it. Alright, I did promise to use the lotion. Once my hair was under control I started going thru the lotions trying to find one that didn't have such a flower sweet scent.

All these have ether fruit flowers or oil scents. I really don't want to smell like a coconut all day. How many types of lotion are there, I think they have them all. There was another bottle on a higher shelf with a weird name. Estrogel 1.5 per. It was a much smaller bottle but there were two more unopened behind it so it can't be too expensive. I sniffed the pump and it didn't really have a scent.

Optimistic I read the instructions. Maybe this was hand made like some of the soaps we looked at yesterday at the mall. That would explain the small bottle. “Apply one pump to inner thigh once daily.” Score I thought, I can just use this and not smell like a field of wildflowers. “Only apply to clean unbroken skin. Let dry for at least five minutes before dressing. Do not rub in. Apply in one thin coat.”

Great, it won't even take that much time and I won't feel all slimy for like an hour either. I sat down on the toilet with the lid down and squirted a pump on one inner thigh and smeared it around. It said don't rub in so when it seemed like it wouldn't spread anymore I stopped. Then tried to rub the excess on my hands on the rest of my legs. Maybe this stuff just soaks in and moisturises me that way. With this being so easy why do we have all that other stuff? Maybe they just like all those smells. The others weren't bad but it was kinda strong. Thinking the girls might check even if they said they wouldn't I took a small pump of the flower one and did both my arms with it. Just enough to soak in fast. I did promise and even though I didn't technically do everything I felt my promise was kept.

Back in my room I opened my closet. For the first time I actually had choices on what to wear. I felt much better since last night. Nothing really changed but I felt better anyway. They were going to either kick me out because god told them too or find out I'm a boy eventually. When that happened they would either kick me out or keep me. I didn't know how to change any of that other than telling them I'm a boy. Considering how much they spent on my already they would likely be really mad if I did that. Also, I didn't wanna go. They were nice here and it almost felt like what I thought a real family would be like. The shelter was alright, but nothing there was even close to the fun I had here yesterday.

I really liked everything we did yesterday. I needed to start taking Ashley’s advice though. Baby steps I thought. Took a while to get this way, now that I know I can work on it. I know the way I think about some things is just messed up. I guess I kind of always knew that but now I can see how bad it really is, or part of it anyway.

I picked the aquamarine maxi dress. It fit me really well and I'm not too good at wearing a skirt so this one being long should make that easier. It had maybe half a dozen really large gold and black roses on it with purple highlights that were about as big as my head. Emily said it was really pretty. If it came in more colors she likely would have bought me more than one. The girls also said with my skin and hair it really brought out my eyes whatever that means. It had long sleeves and a long skirt so while it might be a bit much for lounging around the house it made me feel less exposed. Well sort of. Skirts have this way of making you feel naked even when you know nobody can see you.

Because it’s a dress I didn't need a cammie. The bra was another thing though. I could totally not use it and nobody would say anything. Just the difference was so drastic with and without it. I didn’t like looking five. With a sigh I grabbed the grey one. It took a little while to get it on right. I had to take it back off to loosen the straps a little and put it back on. It felt good enough even though it still felt odd. It wasn't digging into my shoulder anymore at least. These diapers felt really odd at first too compared to the goodnights but now I hardly even remembered having them on. At least this dress had a zipper. I had to start it from the bottom then reach around to grab it again but I did it myself.

My hair was not dry enough to braid but it wasn't dripping anymore so I let it hang loose and looked in the mirror. I was going to put the flats on again. They are easy and comfortable and I don't think were going anywhere I'll need to run. I don't really run anyway. Maybe because I was in a good mood. Maybe because I wanted all the girls to know I was grateful for all they did yesterday. I decided to wear the sandals instead. It was different walking with a two inch heel. It was a wide heel so I didn't totally fall over. Would take some getting used to though. Best to do it at the house than out somewhere I guess.

“My, your the lovely young lady today Avery.” Emily said. “We saved you some bacon and I’ll make a couple eggs quick for you.”

Most of my other houses if you miss a meal you missed it. This place was different. The thoughts about it ending tried to creep into my head but I pushed them out. Dropping a slice of toast in for myself I got the butter out of the fridge. Things felt familiar and I liked it.

After breakfast I was thinking of finishing that ring book but as I got up from the table I forgot about the heels and stumbled a bit.

Emily noticed as she was about to go tend the flowers in the front yard. “You know, I think we still have a book that could help with walking in those. It has a lot about how to walk and sit properly and maintain proper posture.”

I heard book and naturally wanted to at least look at it. When I raised my eyebrows in question she continued.

“Posture is very important for both men and women. Most men don't give it nearly enough practice as they should and most women are little better. It’s important, It shows confidence and helps in many ways.” Emily said as she moved to the bookshelf. “Here it is. It will show you the proper way to stand and sit as well as walk even in heels. How to carry yourself and draw the right kind of attention.” As she handed me the book she finished. “I made sure both my girls at least have the basics and even Cindy knows how to keep herself decent most of the time.”

I nodded my thanks and sat to look the book over. She smiled and headed out to the front yard. There were some interesting things in here. It looked like it was written a long time ago but I liked the way Emily moved. It was so nice it made you want to watch. When I decided I wanted to try some of the stuff I moved to my room. I didn't want to look silly if someone else came in.

I played with the things the book said for a little while. It was sort of fun. I decided I would work on it some. There was something to what Emily said. Some people just look like they have more about them than others. I think a lot of that could be the posture stuff and how they stand.

I spent some more time writing Ashley a letter until I heard lunch was ready. This was not the first time I tried writing her but I still mostly had nothing. Just stuff like “Hi, I miss you. Hope everything is alright.” I really didn't have much practice talking to people. Also now that she was gone and my thoughts about loving her made everything seem more complicated. I wanted to tell her and had some crazy wish that we would reunite and live happily ever after or some such drivel. Most of me thought that there is no way she could feel the same and I would just ruin what friendship we did have. So I started the same single paragraph crap a half dozen times before throwing it away, again and again. Maybe she will send me a letter soon and I can just react to what she says.

During lunch the twins were talking with Emily and apparently a friends mom was picking them up to go hang out over their house for the day in a little over an hour. After all we did yesterday I was a bit disappointed they were leaving. Most of their plans that involved me had a trick to them that I usually didn't like. They meant well though I think. Was I going to miss them? That thought seemed unusual.

When they noticed that I was wearing the dress they whistled playfully. When I turned to smile at them and they noticed the bra their smiles grew even more. They didn't mention it though thank god. I'm rather self conscious about it. Didn't seem right to have fake boobs and my arms kept touching them when they crossed my chest which seemed odd. How did those two manage with theirs which were way bigger. Not like what someone would call big but way more than my little “training lumps” Or even as big as Emily’s who’s were a size or two bigger than her daughters. I shook myself from my daze and Faith giggled at me. I had drifted off in thought while inadvertently staring at their chests.

I was sitting in the reading chair but rather than use the footrest I was trying to sit like that book had said. I had my legs crossed and even had my feet pointing the same way off to the side like I was suppose to with my shoulders back, arms in and faking a smile. That's what I liked best about this chair. It was low enough my feet could even touch the floor if I sat on the edge.

Crossing the legs was interesting with my diaper but if I made sure my legs closed and pushed my bits down more it wasn't too bad. It was easier than sitting with my knees together. The diaper made them want to open and at least this way my legs being crossed held them closed. It felt unusual but not uncomfortable. I guess it takes time to get use to. It felt odd sitting like this but at the same time it was comfortable in the sense that I didn't feel I needed to move much. Not the comfortable like it was relaxing being in the recliner.

The twins came back down with a bag of stuff they were taking with them. They noticed me and rather than taking their usual spot on the loveseat to wait, they shot a look to each other diverted to the chairs by the computer. Once my book came to a pause I looked up, slight trepidation in my eyes. I knew they had the better part of an hour yet and likely they were going to just watch television until what ever plot they were hatching came to mind anyway.

“Did momma give you that book she insisted we read way too many times?” Grace asked. I looked off to the side with a “maybe”.

Faith giggled a little. “Be careful, if she thinks she has a chance of it working she can be quite aggressive at seeing you utilize it to its fullest.”

“Once she gets started it's kinda hard to get her to back off again.” Grace added to her sisters warnings.

Thinking I was getting off easy I started to pick the book up. I was almost finished with it and really wanted to find out how it ends when Faith started again. “We’re really glad you decided to wear the sandals, they look so pretty. But.”

“If your going to wear sandals you really need to paint your toenails. Sandals make people look at your feet and if people are looking, you need to have them pretty.” Grace finished.

I almost said no right away. Even two days ago I would have. Between last night and my earlier trouble even writing a letter to my best friend made me pause. Sure it was a totally girl thing to have painted nails. Sitting here in a dress and bra with high heeled sandals on kind of killed the “for girls” excuse. I think my closet pretty much killed any excuse I might come up with for rejecting anything because it was “for girls”. I wanted to say no because they would be close to me and touching but after last night, I knew I needed to at least try to get past that some. Most of me didn't want to but a small part of me said I needed to. If I want to be a part of their family, be their sister than I needed to be a part of it. Not just live in their house.

There must have been too long of a pause because Grace asked “Can we paint your nails?”

“What's your favorite color?” Faith added.

Faith started to apologise when she realised she asked me a question that I couldn't nod an answer to when I quickly pointed to a part of my dress on my leg with the purple on it.

“Purple?” She asked and I nodded with a smile. “We’ll be right back.” With a flash they were up the stairs before I even realised I never actually agreed to anything. Well I think I was going to agree, maybe. I dunno but well now I can either go with it or find a way to back out. I really didn't want to freak out on them. “It won't hurt, just suck it up.” My head ordered my body.

Before I knew what was happening I was somehow relocated into one of the kitchen table chairs pulled into an open spot on the floor with both sandals off and Grace was stuffing pieces of foam in between my toes and Faith was using cotton balls to clean my fingernails off. I guess I was getting a matching set. It kind of felt nice so I decided to just go with it. The cleaning was repeated on my toes and they were holding up more colors of purple than I knew existed until they found the one closest to the purple in my dress.

It felt nice, It was a cool feeling and really soft. They held my fingers and feet as they did it which made me uncomfortable but I fought back my urge to pull away. They were being considerate and told me what they needed to do which helped a lot. It didn't take too long either, less than ten minutes. They checked the clock and said they should be able to put the sealant on before their friend Sara got there. I didn't really have long girl nails. They looked like kids nails to me. The polish did make me feel pretty though and I liked the feeling of the girls making me pretty. It reminded me of when my friends would braid my hair at the last house but not nearly as relaxing. I miss having them brush my hair.

Their friend Sara came in just as they were finishing my toes. Grace greeted her and Faith said to me. “Try not to move too much for like twenty minutes. Should be totally dry in less than an hour but It's best to be careful for a good while. Just leave the foam on the table and we’ll grab it when we get back.”

I pointed over to my book and Faith handed it to me. Then she pushed my chair to the table which scared the crap out of me. I almost messed up the polish right then but she didn't move the chair much. She even opened the book to my mark for me. The table was kinda too high without the booster seat but I dealt with it.

More than an hour had passed and I finished the book It was really nice. I put my sandals back on and was pleased when I noticed the rest of the books in the series were here too. This is the first book like this I read with more following. Most of the books were for people in first to third grade. This was kind of hard to read but the story was so much better than those kid stories. With the tablet I was sure I could read them all. Just not now, my eyes were tired from the book being so close on the table.

Emily came in while I was looking at the books. I heard her in the bathroom cleaning up and her phone ringing. I went to my room now that my hair was dry and started fixing it. I had just gotten most of the knots out when Emily came in, my door was open.

“One of Cindy’s friends mothers called asking for a play day.” Emily said. “They live just around the corner and I need to go pick her up. I'll take Cindy, and seeing your in the middle of something I think I can leave you here if your alright with that. We won't be more than ten minutes and Robert is in the garage if you need something before we get back.”

I just nodded. Seems everyone is having a friend day. Most of the time Ashley and I would just sit in the same room. Her drawing my reading. Most of the homes everyone kind of did their own thing. I was too young to really make friends and go anywhere. No “Play Day” for me whatever that was.

No sooner was my hair done and I was laying on the couch with the recliner open and, I was officially bored. Which was odd. I never really had a bunch of stuff to do but I never really felt bored much. Most of my day was just wasting time until bed and another day to do it again. School was nice when people left me alone because there was something going on all the time. Now nobody bothered me and I had lots of things I could do and none of it was appealing.

My nails kept catching my eye. They were all shiney and to me looked wet but they were totally dry. If not doing my hair would have totally messed them up. I kept tapping on one nail with the other. They were harder now and stronger. I liked that. I wonder why boys don't paint their nails. It seems that having strong claws would be a boy thing not girls. Scratching in a fight was not a boy thing but animals used claws and liking animals that were dangerous seemed like a boy thing. Wonder how hard it would be to get them long like some of the girls in the higher grades at school had…

Emily was right, It was less than ten minutes and she was back with another little kid named Janet. “Frozen Frozen Frozen…” Cindy and her friend Janet were chanting as they came in the door Emily in toe. I was confused until Cindy went to a cabinet under one of the end tables near the love seat and pulled out a dvd with Frozen on it. She waved it around proudly as Janet cheered.

“The girls want to watch their movie, were you going to use the television?” Emily asked. I smiled at the kids excitement and looked at Emily before shaking my head no. She noticed my hands splayed out on either side of me and the polish. I was kind of looking at them a lot and I liked the way they would shine out of the corner of my eye. “Your nails look very nice Avery, did you do that or did the girls ambush you?”

I looked up to the ceiling and where the twins room was and smiled again. “Be careful or they will have makeup on you next time you blink.” Emily said with a grin. My eyes got wide with that. I don't think I'm ready for something like that yet. Had I really just thought “Yet”? Did I want them to keep making me pretty? Yes, I think I do. That thought had my mind drifting until the movie was starting and the girls took up spots on the other end of the couch. The two of them were sharing the other reclining end together.

I never seen this movie before. Once I seen a movie called cinderella a while ago. It was the closest thing to this movie. As it played I decided this was way better. The snowman was way too cool and I almost cried when he was melting. The main girl in the blue has the coolest power.

Some of the comics Mary and Sofi brought over had people with powers in them. Most were to show me stuff about the samurai and ninja they said my hair reminded them of but those dragon ball stories had powers in them.

This girl was way stronger than those guys by like a ton. She made a whole castle with walls and a bridge and furniture in the time it took her to sing one song. Just crazy. Cindy and Janet were singing along to every single song too. Their spot on the couch didn't last long because for every song they were on their feet and singing along. They must have seen this a lot to know all the words so well. I never seen two kids having so much fun. I had a lot of fun too and I'm not sure if it was from the movie or watching them.

When it was over Emily let us have some milk and cookies. Cookies that I never seen in any of the cupboards before. I raised an eyebrow and looked around for where she might have them hidden and when I looked at Emily she just looked up to the ceiling and to the side smiling while avoiding eye contact. I had plenty of food here and they never stopped me from the random snack if I tried to get one, but knowing there were cookies around. I guess if she wanted me to have found them I would have but...cookies…

These girls were having so much fun I wanted to find an excuse to “hang out” in the living room. So I grabbed the posture book from my room and sat on the couch using it as an excuse to watch them when they weren't paying attention to me. The two of them had brought out some of Cindy’s baby doll dolls and were pushing them around in a small toy stroller and changing their clothes a ridiculous amount of times. No sooner did they get the dolls dressed than they would decide that the babies didn't need a nap they should be ready to go to the park or nice to have pictures taken. The only word to really describe it was adorable. Honestly I was a bit jealous. I never felt that carefree and relaxed to have that much fun when I was five.

When they started to get bored with the babies and it became “nap time” for them back in her room somewhere they came back out and Janet asked about my book. Cindy said it was the walking sitting book her Ema would look at with her. How do you say no to two five year old girls who you just spent almost an hour spying on. They tried to sit on either side of me but that was too much and I sprang to my feet. I settled for kneeling in front of the coffee table with the book. They were still too close but at least on the floor I felt I had an escape route if I needed it.

Janet asked a lot of questions and Cindy was very happy to know the answers to a lot of them. The two ended up pulling out two small chairs from Cindy’s room and Cindy started teaching Janet how to sit and stand and walk like her Ema taught her. I faded back to the couch seeing an opportunity to escape.

My freedom only lasted a few moments however before Cindy wanted her new big sister to show them how to do it. A third chair was added. I was a bit surprised Cindy called me her big sister. We were almost the same size and I'm really not sure which of us might actually be taller. Well I did have heels on at the moment… I was too flattered to say no. I just learned this stuff today though so it's not like I was any good at it. I had to do my “big sister” duty however. Reading again to make sure I did things right the three of us were soon practicing sitting and crossing our legs first to one side then the other. Then we would stand and walk around the coffee table and sit again and do it again.

There was a time when we each would do it alone and no matter how well or poorly we did everyone clapped and cheered. It was childish and a bit silly, and just so much fun. I didn't even notice when Emily came around and started making dinner. She tried really hard to not break the spell of our game. For a time we were at the big party in the movie Frozen we just watched. Thankfully they didn't try and dance with me but I clapped and smiled as they tried the ballroom dancing with each other for some time.

“I really hate to interrupt you young ladies.” Emily said. “But Janet’s mother will have dinner ready soon and I'll need to take the young princess home before she turns into a pumpkin.” The girls started frowning as soon as Emily started talking but their pity faces cracked at the pumpkin joke. They knew they wouldn't be able to puppy eye their way into extending the fun but a kids gotta try. It took way longer to put the now three chairs back into Cindy’s room as it did to take them out. A few moments later the three were leaving for the short trip to take Janet home.

Again I was alone on the couch. This time I was not bored and lonely though. I had almost as much fun as the kids did. With the posture book in hand I paged thru it again with new fond memories. Like the braid book this one too had brought people together more than one could have guessed. Hopefully we could do it again soon. Did I really have three sisters now? Kelly was right about this house it was wonderful. Will it be that way when they learn...No. I'll not think about that. I need to just enjoy this while it lasts for as long as I can. I need this. I had no idea how badly I wanted a family and now that I had one. Even if it was just pretend, I don't dare taint it with more thoughts of the end.

At dinner Robert asked me if I would go to Church with the rest of the family tomorrow. He even said “rest of the family”. I'm not ready for that and quickly shook my head no. I was expecting them to try and talk me into it. Perhaps bribe me or beg or just tell me I had to go and that was that. Nothing more was said though. They didn't bring it up again. Not even a unfriendly look at me for turning down their invitation to share their God with them. I don't think their God wants me anyway, best not to anger him by going to his church.

They would say grace before meals. Not so much breakfast as a group because everyone kind of ate it as they arrived. Each of them said it to themselves though even Cindy. They never once tried to make me do it. After the first couple days I would fold my hands at dinner when they would say it though. I don't believe in their god but it felt rude to not at least let them have their time.