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I wasn't sure if I should post this, but I've been fighting off dark thoughts since last night. I've been trying to make myself reply to messages and comments like I usually do today, but my heart and mind just haven't been in it. I got home from our friend's funeral, and dinner afterwards last night, already upset and drained emotionally. I made myself send my mom an email because it was her birthday and then gmail decided to show me an email I should have gotten on Friday. My uncle aunt, and three cousins, all under the age of 6, died in a house fire.
Since then I've been a complete mess, It hurts too much, I spent most of the night sobbing, and I haven't slept properly in days. Now I feel empty inside and my head is filled with static. So please understand if I take a while to respond to any comments on my newer story chapters or private messages. I'm just not in a good headspace for it right now and it's probably a good thing that I already decided to take a few weeks off on most of my stories.
Thanks everyone and sorry for needing to vent again.
Amethyst
Comments
sending you all the huggles
I am so sorry for your loss.
So sorry
I wish that I were close enough for you to use my shoulder to cry on. It seems so much better to share these thoughts and I for one wish you well.
I am so sorry hon
Losing such close family is extremely difficult.
Do what you have to do to keep yourself together, I am sure your parents will need your support during this trying time.
So sorry
So sorry for your lose. No amount of words can help at a time like this so I will try to send thoughts of peace.
Hug...
Big Hugs and Huggles.
Take any time you need.
Peace and Love tmf
So sorry
I wish I could do more that just be words on a screen. Sending you hugs and thoughts of hope.
BitStream
feel for you
twenty years ago my cousin who had married my gg best friend murder suicided her and their two children i still miss her and mourn her to this day .she was my dress up friend since before kinder garden she didn't know he and i were related til their wedding i did not find out for about three years before facebook so missed the funeral in a big way its really hard to remember and doesn.t help you but i really do feel for you
ed
ed
So very sorry ....
May all beings be well. may all beings be happy, may all beings be loved,
in this world and in the next.
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Don't make any important decisions for a while, like buy a car, or change jobs or such. If you have an in-person friend whom you can talk to, please ask them to cross check what you are doing, and maybe go with you for the 'basics', like grocery shopping. Sometimes it can help if the friend is just 'there', without actually "Doing Something".
Same for work. If it's safe, tell your boss you've been hit hard by the deaths, and ask boss or a co-worker to cross check some of your work for a while.
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Grieving is different for everybody. There is no fixed way that grief is 'supposed' to go. And you may be suddenly 'blind-sided' by emotions coming up.
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Take care.
I would say that you received
I would say that you received it _exactly_ when you should have.
You wouldn't have been able to do anything about the actual tragedy, other than mourn. However, you were already having to deal with being in public - to mourn a friend. So you were freed up to focus your attention on the immediate, personal impact. Once that was past, you were provided with the knowledge of the further away tragedy - and you now have the time to spend to deal with that impact.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
My heart goes out for you
for your losses. Wishing good thoughts for you to try to help with your grief.
Oh, Wow
You have my deepest sorrow on your losses. So many blows in such a short period of time can really knock the pins out from under you. All I can say is I've been there and I'm familiar with the feelings. Give yourself time to grieve properly and reach out to others. Things don't get better overnight, but eventually they do.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Vent all you need to
If we can't be there to give you hugs and shoulders to lean on irl, letting us know when we need to send healing energies through the aether is likely the best we can do.
Dang ... Lord's shield above you, Lady's cloak over your shoulders, peace and healing.
Amethyst
Feel free to share your hurt with us. I like to think we are your friends, however far removed, and hope we can help to dilute it down a bit.
"Reach for the sun."
Your loss
I’m really sorry for your loss.
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
Really sorry for your loss,
Really sorry for your loss, please allow your family and friends to help you share the grief, everyone needs help at some time and this is definitely one of those times. You put so much into your stories let your many readers give you back our caring and prayers.
Great big hugs from one of your many loyal readers.