The Blossoming of Ciri, Chapter 3

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The Blossoming of Ciri

Chapter 3- The Flower Blooms

“Hi my full name is Alex Damion Marteau and I’m. Well currently I’am 18 but in this story I will be telling you about when my life got turned upside down and changed both me and my family forever...” Chapter 3...

“...Ugh... why are the lights always on?” I said as I briefly opened my eyes before slamming them shut again at the bright light coming from the bedside table.

“Oh sorry sweetheart...” My Mom said as she reached over and turned off the annoying light.

“Well at least this time I didn’t wake up to the weird blackness like last time...” I thought.

“Thanks Mom.” I said as I reopened my eyes and smiled at my mother weakly.

“No problem sweetheart, it’s nice to see you awake again. You slept like a baby all through the night again.” Mom said happily.

“Really? The night again? So it’s Tuesday now?” I asked surprised.

“Yes, it’s now Tuesday morning, and it’s... 11:48 now. So not too long until lunchtime...” Mom said while looking down at her watch.

“...The doctors thought it best to just give you some sedatives and let you sleep through the night, instead of you staying up all night in pain.” She continued.

“But that doesn’t make sense. I only went into surgery in the early afternoon...” I stated confused, before my groin suddenly jolted a big bolt of pain throughout my body.

“Ow! Ugh, you just had to mention pain didn’t you...” I said with mock annoyment.

“Sorry honey... I just jinxed you didn’t I?” Mom said apologetically.

“Ah! It’s ok... it’s fading...” I said through pained teeth.

“Anyway, the answer to your question. Before we were so rudely interrupted by your body, is that the surgery took longer than expected... no, no, no. Don’t worry, nothing went wrong. It just took slightly longer that’s all...” Mom said reassuringly after seeing the worry on my face.

“Apparently the reason it took so long was because they had a slight problem in moving some of the nerve endings around. But everything turned out alright in the end.” Mom explained.

“Oh ok. That’s good. You got me worrying there for a second. The last thing I want is anything going wrong. Enough has already done so as it is...” I said with relief.

“Don’t worry sweetie, everything is going to be fine. Hopefully the doctors will come back soon and then they can tell us when we can take you home. In the meantime...” Mom said as she got up and walked over to the door and peered out, motioning with her hand and prompting someone to come forward.

A few moments later and two familiar people walked through. One was a young teenage girl, she was wearing a light grey, almost white lacy cropped top and blue denim shorts. She had flowing brown hair with a slight curl to it and unnatural but good looking blonde highlights running through it. She had a very trim body and had a bit of muscle mass showing throughout her body, which was topped off with fairly large breasts and a plump bottom. She wore a light amount of makeup that was perfectly done up and was also sporting a few freckles around her small cute nose. She had deep brown eyes and thick, slightly arched eyebrows that have been plucked to perfection. Her slightly pouty lips were smiling nervously at me. She reminded me a lot of Mom.

The other person was a fairly tall middle-aged man wearing a dark grey suit. He had a slightly buff build and while very fit, had a slight belly coming through. Probably due to age... or one too many beers. He had a square jawline with mixed black and greyish stubble on it, his slightly thin lips opened up while he smiled showing his perfect teeth, he had a slightly pointed nose and like the girl had deep brown eyes, he also had dark thick bushy eyebrows. His hair, while slightly mousy, was kept mostly neat and tidy. It was black, with white patches popping up evenly throughout it. His hair always reminds me of a Zebra, or a reversed Dalmatian.

“Allison! Dad! Wow it’s so great to see you!” I said happily but painfully.

“Hello Alex how are you feeling?” Dad asked me with slight concern in his voice.

“I’m a bit sore, but mostly okay. How was the trip to Florida?” I asked curiously.

“It was fine. Fortunately I managed to work out the final details of the hotel plans before coming back so construction should start next month.” He said happily.

“That’s good to hear dear. Does that mean you will be able to stay home for once?” Mom asked Dad jokingly.

“Yes, don’t worry I won’t need to take any business trips for a while now. Well unless something bad happens but I doubt it.” Dad said reassuringly.

“Hey little sis...” Allison said while greeting me with a hug.

“Hey Ali. I guess your nickname for me is more accurate now than before.” I said laughing.

“Yeah I guess. But you know that you have always been my little sister.” She said smiling at me half nervous and half teasingly while holding my hand.

I should probably explain. Ever since I was little, Allison has always called me her little sister. She, like Amber, always thought I looked a bit too pretty for a boy and tried to get me to wear her old clothes and makeup, etc. Well at least until the twins were born, she stopped after that because she now actually had a little sister in Jasmine. She still always called me her little sister though, and it just kind of stuck.

“Ha! I remember when Alex was little you begged me to put him in a dress, so he could become your little sister in reality. You asked everyday for a week until you finally gave up and put him in a dress yourself! I remember Alex looking so cute as he ran to me with tears in his eyes, wearing that little pink dress. Of course I still punished you for forcing your brother to do something that he didn’t want to do. But he did look so darling at the time.” Mom said happily reminiscing.

“Yeah thank god the twins were born or else you would have never stopped!” Dad added.

“Well I guess I was right in the end! Alex WAS too pretty for a boy... because she was actually a girl the entire time!” Allison laughed out gleefully.

“You’re loving this a bit too much aren’t you?” I asked Allison stoically.

“Ahem! Sorry Alex...” Allison said apologetically.

“Actually that is something that I’m curious about...” Allison continued.

“What? What are you curious about?” I asked nervously.

“Alex, your name. I mean think about it, you can’t just go back to school with your name.” Allison said seriously.

“That is something we need to discuss...” Mom said admittedly.

“I...” I started to respond before I got interrupted by a knock on the door to my hospital room

Amber poked her head around curiously.

“Um. Sorry Mr and Mrs Marteau... May I come in and see Alex please?” Amber asked nervously.

“Of course Amber! You don’t even need to ask. We were just talking about Alex’s name...” Mom answered beckoning her to come towards us.

“Wow I have never seen Amber so nervous before. Usually she’s super confident and headstrong about everything. Oh god I must have her really worried for her to be this nervous.” I thought sadly.

I don’t think I ever described what Amber looks like. I mentioned before that she is basically one of the hottest girls in school. And that I was super lucky for her to even notice me let alone become my best friend.

Well she is a bit smaller than the average girl, she is very thin and even though she is short she has really long legs and arms that make her look like a model. She has short shoulder length ginger hair that is super wavy and really shiny, she has a smallish nose and a lot of freckles surrounding it. Unlike a lot of gingers, she wasn’t that pale but still gets sunburnt fairly easily. She has light blue eyes that turn slightly aqua-greyish in her inner iris, and thin, neatly plucked eyebrows. She has very plump and kissable lips, very similar in shape to Allison’s and a slightly pointed chin. Her breasts are just slightly above average in size and her butt is very big, like proper bubble butt. I have heard from both boys and girls alike that she has the biggest ass in school and she knows it. Even Allison is jealous of her butt, not that she would ever admit to it, and she is three years older than us!

Currently Amber was wearing a silky white blouse and a pink work jacket with black skinny jeans and cream coloured high heels. They clicked slightly on the tiled floor as she nervously walked over to me and my family.

“Hi Alex...” Amber said quietly.

“Hey Amber... I’m so sorry if I scared you the other day.” I said apologetically.

“No, it’s fine... I mean I was so scared for you, but I know it wasn’t your fault. Um, what happened exactly? I heard a few things but I’m not entirely sure what happened to you. All I know is that you needed emergency surgery...” she asked nervously.

“Did you not tell her?” I asked Mom.

“No sweetie, I thought it would be best if you told her yourself.” Mom replied gently.

“Please don’t tell me that you are dying or something... I really don’t want to lose my best friend...” Amber said painfully with tears in her eyes.

“Oh no. Nothing like that don’t worry...” I said starting to choke up with tears myself.

“Oh thank god!” Amber said with a sigh of relief as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“No I’m... going through a change of sorts...” I said mysteriously.

“A change? What sort of change?” She asked, getting more curious by the second.

“Heh. Well your in luck Amber. It seems as if your wish has come true.” I said with anticipation.

Amber just stared at me with a mixed look of curiosity and confusion.

“Well I know now why I look so feminine. Why I look ‘too pretty for a boy’ as you and Allison would put it. Well it turns out that I’m in fact not a boy... I’m actually a girl...” I said slowly for dramatic effect.

“Wha... what? But how... you a girl? I don’t... get it?” Amber stuttered confusingly.

“Well it turns out I’m something called inter-sexed. I was born with both male and female reproductive organs, both a penis and a vagina. But we didn’t know as my vagina didn’t have an opening. Eventually my vagina and the estrogen that it produced caused my penis and balls to pretty much die. And if that wasn’t bad enough I did in fact start my period a few days ago. Good guess by the way. Which was why I passed out, because the period blood couldn’t escape. This also means that I can become pregnant... Anyway, I had two choices, become a girl, or just get a fake penis and carry on somewhat as a guy. In the end I decided to just become a girl completely instead of being a half girl, half guy with a fucked up infertile dick.” I said blurting the whole explanation out.

“Okay... let me get this straight. You are inter-sexed. I was right when I joked about you being on your period the other day. The pains was your period blood trying to escape. You can get pregnant! ‘Wow...’ And you are now 100% a girl?” Amber said trying to make sense of the mess I just spat out.

“Yes.” I answered after a brief moment.

“...Cool! Okay here’s the plan. When we get you out of here and back home, we are totally going shopping, no arguments. We have both been excused from school due to your... accident.
And as a girl you will need a completely new wardrobe. Not to mention makeup. Oh and a trip to the salon! Your hair needs a little sprucing up. Not to mention your nails... yuck. Totally getting you a mani-pedi! Oh I can’t wait!!!” Amber squealed with excitement.

“Ugh, I already regret choosing to become a girl... thanks...” I said sarcastically.

Well I might have to suffer going shopping for over 9000 hours with Amber, but at least she is back to her normal cheery and energetic self. I can’t stand it when she is upset, when she is sad it always makes me sad too.

“She’s right honey. If you’re going to become a girl you will need a new wardrobe and you will also need to learn a lot of stuff quickly before you go back to school. No daughter of mine is going to go to school as a slob! Not to mention it will help you to fit in with the other girls if you look nice.” Mom said knowledgeably.

“You will come too won’t you Allison?” Amber asked excitedly.

“Of course! No way am I missing my little sister’s baptism into girlhood!” Allison responded like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I better come too then, a mother needs to be there for her daughter. Also I need to make sure you girls don’t go overboard on the skimpy clothes, we need some level of modesty.” Mom said seriously.

“I’m just going to stay out of this...” Dad said awkwardly.

“Yay! It’s settled then!” Amber practically shouted.

“Anyway we should get back to the topic before all of this...” Mom started to say.

“Oh yeah the name!” Allison said remembering her question from earlier.

“What? What do you mean? What’s wrong with my name?” I asked confused.

“Like I said earlier you can’t just go back to school as a girl with your name as Alex.” Allison said seriously.

“Oh shit yeah. If you go back to school Alex, and people find out who you are. You will be bullied for sure. Hell the only reason you weren’t bullied before was because you remained quiet and in the corner, not to mention you had me to look out for you.” Amber said with realisation.

“Oh fuck... what do we do then?” I asked, starting to panic slightly.

“Don’t worry honey, we can get ahead of this. I can call the principal again and get everything set up. We can just say that you were homeschooled or something and then change your name.” Mom said reassuringly.

“But won’t people still recognise me?” I asked still unsure.

“Trust me they won’t. With the right clothes and makeup no one will recognise you. Not to mention that if it was true that you avoided everyone there is a chance that no one will notice if Alex Marteau disappears. You will just be the hot new girl in school.” Allison said convincingly.

“Hot new girl?” I asked slightly confused.

“Oh yeah! I said it before and I will say it again. You have the potential to become one of the most attractive popular girls in school! Especially with me there to help you along. Trust me no one will even notice that the outcast in the corner has gone. Which must suck a bit, but it is true. Amber said unapologetically and with pride.

“Hmm it was true that I am or was, a complete social outcast. Not even the nerds noticed me. The only person who did notice me was Amber. Even her friends don’t know who I am.” I thought to myself.

“Okay. I guess it could work. But what name should I choose? I was going to go with Alexandra Marteau but I guess I can’t now...” I said sadly.

“Hm what about Samantha?” Allison asked.

“No, I don’t think that would fit.” I said.

“What about... Alice? Or Alita?” Amber asked.

“No those are too similar to my name.” Allison said adamantly.

“Georgia? No. Harriet? No. Rebecca? No...” I thought aloud, starting to get frustrated.

“What about Felicity?” Allison asked.

“Hm I like Felicity.” I said pondering on the potential name.

“No not Felicity. I already know someone called that and she is a total bitch.” Amber said suddenly.

“Okay not Felicity then...” Allison said while half rolling her eyes.

“Mom, Dad, what would you have called me if I was born a girl?” I asked them curiously.

“Um that was a matter of debate. I always wanted someone called Alexander or Alexandra after my Father, Emilia after my Mother or Valerie after my Grandmother. We both liked Damion but that can’t really be feminised.” Dad said pondering on the matter.

“I was always for a loss on boys names but I always wanted to name a daughter Allison after my Mother Alice or Cirilla after my Grandmother or Jasmine after my best friend who died when we were teenagers... Mary was in the air for a while and so was Josephine... but in the end we decided that if you were born a boy you would be called Alexander Damion Marteau. And if you were born a girl, you would have been called Cirilla Valkyria Marteau.” Mom said with pride.

“What? Cirilla Valkyria? What sort of name is that? I mean I like Cirilla but Valkyria sounds weird, especially if you put it together. What does that name even mean?” I asked confused as to how they even came up with a name like that.

“Well Cirilla is an old English name which as I said comes from my grandmother, your great grandmother. And we thought long and hard for a middle name but nothing really sounded right, so we kind of based it off Valerie from your Father’s grandmother.” Mom explained.

“It also kind of works out, as the name Valkyria kind of calls back to our ancestry. Did you know that on my mother’s side, the English side of the family, that one of our ancestors was a Viking who came over from Norway to England? The name Valkyria is slight deviation from the word Valkyrie who were these great angelic warrior women who scoured the battlefields looking for worthy souls to take to Valhalla, the Norse version of heaven. Apparently according to your great grandmother part of our family are descended from these great women who died and became Valkyries. Or at least that’s how the story goes...” Dad said excitedly.

“Wow I didn’t know we were descendants of Vikings...” Allison said with shock.

“I just thought we came from a long line of builders and blacksmiths and stuff...” I added.

“That’s mostly on my Father’s side, the French side of the family. Hence the name Marteau.” Dad explained.

“What about your side of the family Mom?” I asked curiously.

“Far less exciting I’m afraid... in actual fact I don’t really know much about my side of the family. I know that we come from a long line of Irish people, and that my parents were the first of our family to ever leave Ireland. Although I did once hear that we were descendants of Gaelic nobility, but I doubt that is anything more than rumours and idle gossip.” Mom said nonchalantly.

“Would there be a way to find out?” Allison asked starting to get excited.

“I don’t know... maybe? If there is I have no idea how to find out.” Mom said lamely.

“Wow, do you know what this means? We could have been nobles! Maybe even have a coat of arms!” Allison said excitedly.

“Honestly honey, even if we could find out I very much doubt that we are nobility. The chances that we are is slim at best. It’s more likely that we served in the households of nobility or something. Best not to get your hopes up.” Mom said sadly.

“Still... you never know...” Allison said hopefully.

Mom just looked and sighed at her, shaking her head slightly.

“Well this has certainly been educational... I still think the name Cirilla Valkyria Marteau is a weird name though.” I said jokingly.

“Well we always thought it could be a name for a warrior princess or something.” Dad said enthusiastically.

“Yeah I guess...” I said while looking out of the window.

“Sooo... have you decided then?” Amber prompted me.

“Hmm? What?” I asked.

“Have you decided? On a name?” She repeated.

“Oh! Right sorry I got lost there for a second... Um yes I have decided. I think after the history lesson I am going to ‘have’ to go for the name that Mom and Dad would have chose for me if I had been born a girl. I still think that the name Cirilla Valkyria Marteau is a bit odd, but it is growing on me... I will just have to pretend I’m a warrior princess or something.” I said half seriously and half jokingly.

“But what do you want to go by? Cirilla? Or Valkyria? We could call you Val or Valk? Maybe Kyra or something?” Allison suggested.

“I think I will just stick with Cirilla. Or Ciri for short.” I answered.

“Well then Cirilla it is!” Mom said happily.

Everyone gathered around me and gave me a huge group hug. Just as we broke off the hug we heard a sudden knock at the door. We all turned at once to see who it was. Doctor Brownhall entered the room.

“Congratulations Mr and Mrs Marteau! It’s a girl!” Doctor Brownhall said jokingly.

I just burst out laughing, Allison and Amber barely contained their laughter, while Mom just smiled and Dad just glared with a look that just said ‘really?’ Me seeing Dad’s face just made me laugh harder, until Allison and Amber just gave out and the three of us ended up in hysterics. Even Mom and Dad laughed a bit. After what seemed like forever but was only a couple of minutes we all laughed ourselves out and Doctor Brownhall continued.

“Sorry I couldn’t help myself... at least everyone is happy now. I just wanted to come and tell you the rest of the results of the blood works. The research department finally sorted out their mess and sent up the full reports. It turns out that our theory was correct, your chromosomes are in fact XX chromosomes, which means that you are genetically female. This also mostly explains why your vagina overwhelmed your male genitalia. But not just that we also discovered that you didn’t have any receptors that could register testosterone. Meaning that even though your penis and testicles could produce a small amount of testosterone, your body couldn’t react to it. Which practically rendered your male genitalia useless.” Doctor Brownhall explained.

“Thank you doctor... and thank you for operating so well on my daughter.” Dad said to Doctor Brownhall happily.

“No problem Mr Marteau. I will leave you all alone now... Oh before I forget. I have taken the liberty of declaring Alex medically as a Cis Female, meaning you’re birth certificate will be changed to female and It should also make things easier for you at school, as you can now legally use the female locker rooms and toilets. Oh and while I’m here have you managed to decide on a name or something? If you wanted to get it changed we can also do that.” Doctor Brownhall asked carefully.

“Um yes I have decided to change it to Cirilla Valkyria Marteau.” I answered clearly.

“And how would you spell that?” Doctor Brownhall asked while handing me a piece of paper and a pen.

After confirmation from my parents on how the name is spelt. I carefully wrote it down in block capitals and handed it back to Doctor Brownhall.

“Thank you... Cirilla, I will make sure that your new name is officially changed. And don’t worry you won’t have to be here too long. We are going to keep you for a few days for observation. But as long as everything goes alright you can go home on Friday. And you can start school again in a weeks time after you get home. I will also write up a medical note excusing you from gym for a month, but after that no excuses.” Doctor Brownhall explained.

“Thanks doc.” I said happily.

“No problem, rest up. I will send lunch your way in 30 minutes.” Doctor Brownhall said while leaving.

“Ohh ow!” I said wincing in pain.

Doctor Brownhall turned around at my sudden outburst.

“Ah don’t worry that is normal, you ‘are’ on your period now. I will send a nurse to change the bandages.” Doctor Brownhall said before turning around again and leaving.

“Ha welcome to the joys of womanhood! It sucks doesn’t it? Periods are a bitch...” Allison said with a knowing smirk on her face.

“Yes it sucks, I can see why you are always so bitchy during it Ali.” I responded.

“What about you Amber? You never seem to be bothered when you’re on your period.” I asked.

“My periods are weirdly not painful actually. It just bleeds a lot and I feel super emotional when it happens.” Amber confessed.

“Lucky...” Allison said jealously.

We heard another knock on the door and a young nurse walked in. I recognised her, she was one of the nurses from yesterday. Nurse... Jolene? I think that was her name. The one who fiddled with the gas tank from the surgery. She walked over to us.

“Hello. It’s Cirilla now isn’t it? I’m Nurse Jolene, I will be looking after you for the next few days.” Nurse Jolene said to me gently.

“I’m just going to change your bandages for now but I will be back again to give you your lunch.” She continued.

“You’re family and friends can wait outside while we do this if you want?” She asked me with a serious tone.

“Hey Ciri, I know that this is an odd request but I’m really curious. Can I see what your, um, new vagina looks like?” Allison asked me carefully.

“Yeah I was about to ask the same thing...” Amber said meekly.

“Um, I mean it’s a bit weird but I don’t mind.” I replied awkwardly.

“Uh, I’m going to go... I need to go and pick up the twins from kindergarten anyway...” Dad said uncomfortably.

“Okay bye Daddy...” I said slightly unsure.

Dad looked at me strangely for a moment.

“Sorry too weird?” I asked nervously.

“No. No, it’s fine you can call me Daddy if you want, it’s just that it happened sooner than I expected. Dad said surprised.

“Goodbye my little warrior princess, I will see you later.” Daddy said as he kissed my forehead and started to leave.

“Bye honey. Good bye everyone!” He said while kissing Mom goodbye and leaving in a hurry.

“Bye!” We all said as a unison.

“Right I should get on with your bandages.” Nurse Jolene interrupted.

She started to unravel the bandages carefully while everyone looked on with curious faces. When she took the final layer off I was quite surprised. As was everyone else.

“Wow that was not what I was expecting at all! It looks exactly like a vagina. I thought it would look slightly off or something but it looks almost exactly the same as mine!” Allison said with amazement.

“Yeah that’s exactly what I thought as well. I thought it would look slightly deformed or something but it looks just like any other girls vagina.” Amber agreed with surprise.

“Well it does pay to have one of the country’s best surgeons at hand!” Nurse Jolene stated with pride.

Nurse Jolene cleaned up my vagina, which felt really odd. I didn’t say anything but I thought it was super weird to have nothing but a slit in between my legs. After she finished wiping it up, she put what I think was a maxi pad on my vagina and wrapped fresh bandages around it.

“All done! Just press the call button if you need anything, especially if you need the toilet, because I will need to redress your vagina afterwards.” Nurse Jolene said happily.

“Right see you in a bit!” She said as she left my room and closed the door behind her.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I had lunch, which was alright I guess. And Nurse Jolene and my Mom helped me go to the bathroom and showed me to wipe down afterwards, on top of other basic female hygiene stuff. Amber needed to go home, now that she knew that I was alright. She promised to come back tomorrow after she had a proper nights sleep. Mom and Allison both kept me company and took turns during night duty while I slept. While Dad stayed home looking after the twins.

“God I am so looking forward to getting out of this hospital. I’m already starting to get sick of it here. Hopefully I can just get home ASAP, and start to live my life again...” I thought as I started to drift off to sleep.

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Comments

The Blossoming of Ciri, Chapter 3

Hello everyone hope you enjoy the new chapter. At this time, I will try my best to upload as often as possible. Right now I’m aiming at posting at least one chapter per week. But I will keep you guys up to date on what’s going on. As usual any feedback will be helpful. Hope you enjoy!

Spencer1x

Keep going

I really like that you have your own style of story telling. Keep up the good work.

I'm loving this story!

Rose's picture

I'm loving this story! Wonderful story, and excellent writing. Keep them coming!

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Hugs!
Rosemary

Thank you.

WillowD's picture

I like the story.

Well...

the vagina doesn't produce estrogen, that's the ovaries that do that.

...

‘Coughs’ I meant the vagina in general... ‘Coughs’ Can’t be fucked to change it now... ‘Coughs’

In all seriousness though, I know that the Ovaries produce the Estrogen. I also know that some Estrogen is also produced by fat cells and the Adrenal gland. If I’m being honest, I just couldn’t be bothered to put all of that in though, probably because people came to read a story and not attend a Biology class. I feel that like at one point it’s like ‘stop with the all the science and just carry on already!’ Anyway... yeah that’s why I didn’t bother putting that stuff in. But thank you for the feedback.

While You're Right...

...that she had good reason to come up with a new name, that was really weird about Alex not being a girl's name. I think there are more girls in Ciri's age bracket going by Alex these days than guys -- especially now that Xander is getting more popular on the male side.

Eric

Cirilla's a neat first name

Jamie Lee's picture

It's now clear why Alex didn't take a trip to the moon when the situation was explained. Cirilla's mind was already in girl mode because of the XX chromosomes. And the why Alex looked more like a girl is now answered.

Cirilla is a very pretty name, her middle name, eh. Some JA will try and play with her when they learn her middle name, hopefully not getting jewlerized when they push the issue.

Saying that Cirilla was homeschooled will be accepted at school, but what about the neighbors? Neighbors notice comings and goings of other families, and when they no longer see Alex what will happen? How will they react? Will they inquire after Alex? Will they call the police, CPS, or try to find out where he is on their own?

Maybe if the neighbors inquire after Alex the whole truth should be told, instead of trying to make up a story that everyone would have to know by heart? Because if they make up a story and the little ones blab, then the jig is up and the family may be investigated for child abuse.

Others have feelings too.