Stevie's Tale - Chapter 1

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Stevie’s Tale - Chapter 1

By Kelly Blake

“I’m Katie…the school whore.”

Cute… Beautiful… Gorgeous… Perfect… These were appellations I detested as much as the others used as descriptions. Faggot… Queer… Cocksucker… You get the idea. It wasn’t my fault I was born the way I was. And for sure it wasn’t my parents’ fault. Feces simply occurs.

Upon awakening my nightmare began. I detested looking in the mirror every morning. Even through my still sleep clouded mind I could see my ‘perfect nose’, my full wide lips, and my perfect skin that went unblemished by even the slightest hint of a whisker or zit. After a while I simply ceased to look. I would run a comb through my thick blond hair whilst gazing out the window.

School was a nightmare. Every single day I would hear those hurtful appellations thrown at me in a whisper that had all the force of a stone, and a large one at that. And there was nothing I could do about it. Even the gay guys disliked me. I was too…unavailable…maybe? And of course my androgynous mode of dress would invite ‘target practice’ by even the weakest of the verbal stone hurlers.

Father, dear father, left us whilst the going was good. I have no memory of him at all. Mom, bless her very wine sodden heart, for the most part, left me to my own devices. The door to my bedroom always remained closed. The small room was my only sanctuary from the horrors of the outside world.

I made my first cut when I turned twelve. It was quite by accident. I had procured a small jack knife that had been tossed to the side of the walk and half hidden by the grass. Rarely looking up as I walked home from the bus, it was easy for me to spot. The bone sided covers stood out from the brass bolsters on each end.

Upon examination of my newly found treasure I noticed that one of the two blades, the longer one, was quite dull. I discovered that this could be corrected with a whetstone, an item I knew lived somewhere in our kitchen. Carefully, according to the instructions exhibited on my well used laptop screen, I slowly honed the blade to some semblance of keenness.

Instead of testing its edge against a sheet of paper or some other similar object, I ran the blade along the upper part of my right arm in a motion that one might use to shave a slice of cheese. Along with exfoliating skin cells I managed to cut a few very tiny, very fine hairs. Almost without any forethought, I turned my arm over and made a cutting motion just above the crotch of my elbow.

To my great surprise a thin line of blood began to appear. To my even greater surprise, and amazement, I suddenly experienced a tingling throughout my body from the sharp pain that accompanied the cut. I pressed slightly harder. The pain, along with the tingling increased. I felt…I felt truly electric. The dullness and dreariness of my everyday existence fled my body and soul even as my warm blood flowed in a trickle.

And, to my even greater surprise, my ‘perfect visage’ was shattered like a pane of glass struck by a stone. Even as I held a tissue to the cut, about two inches in length, I closed my eyes and fell back against the pillow on my bed. I bathed in the wonderful sensation of feeling the electricity emanating from the wound and flushing my spirit clean of all the hurts of the day. I was no longer cute, pretty, and beautiful. I was now marred; if even by my own hand and if even so very insignificantly.

Thus began my need to cut myself. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence. This was a ritual that was performed on particularly hard days; days when I could no longer tolerate the names and the jostling, and other assorted soul slaps. By my sixteenth year I had a series of small scars neatly carved running between the crotch of my elbow to halfway up my arm.

I would cut in a particular pattern depending upon the severity of my day. I truly hated my very being and existence but the cuts would turn that switch off; even if just for an all too short period of time. To feel something other than what I normally felt was a totally amazing relief; like an overwhelming weight being lifted from my shoulders.

This did, however, necessitate a change in my wardrobe. Very short sleeve and tank tops were no longer an option. My pale scars, small as they were, would be noticed. I knew what people would think and say. And the last thing I wanted, or needed, was an unplanned trip to the guidance counselor’s office as a cutter.

I didn’t need guidance. I needed to simply be left alone. And a trip there would simply supply my stone throwers with more ammunition. Fortunately the school was kept quite cool and everybody wore either a sweater or a hoodie in the halls and classrooms. Of course once one ventured out into the open aired quad, the sweaters and hoodies came off so I took to wearing either long sleeved or three quarter sleeved tops.

Being reasonably tall, five feet ten inches to be exact, and having narrow shoulders, my normally androgynous look took a slightly more femme appearance. Men’s clothing simply didn’t come in a size four tall or three quarter sleeve look. And although I must say I loved the look of some of my new tops, they only added to the vehemence of the less than complimentary adjectives and descriptors.

One day during lunch I had managed to find a seat outside at the outer edge of the quad. I was enjoying the solitude and gazing haphazardly at some English poetry of some long deceased bard when I felt, and heard, the thud of a bag upon the grill topped table. I glanced up quickly to notice a schoolmate sitting down. Her strawberry blond hair was ablaze in the sunlight.

“Hi…” She said, her pale green eyes sparkling and her smile dazzling.

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“I’m Katie….the school whore.”

She giggled. I blushed and stared at her wide-eyed and slack jawed.

“You don’t mind if I join you?” It was more a statement than a query. “I noticed that you always sit alone and I’m tired of being accosted by everyone in school with a cock.”

I tried to smile sympathetically. I knew who she was and often admired her street style.

“I love the top you’re wearing.” Katie said as she fingered the embroidered cuff of the three quarter length sleeve. “I hope you don’t mind?” This time she questioned. “I like touching things. Linen…isn’t it?”

I nodded still shocked by her sudden appearance and…familiarity?

“So… Are you going to tell me your name?” She brows arched.

“Ummm…”

Katie giggled at my shyness.

“I promise I won’t bite. That is unless you’d like me to.” Katie chuckled and smiled ever so wickedly. “And I won’t even charge.”

“Stevie…” I whispered and blushed, my eyes cast downward.

“Well Stevie…” Katie paused for a moment until my eyes met hers. “It’s nice to meet another…outcast?” She chuckled again. “I know what goes on and I’ve heard the all the comments. I’m sure you’ve heard all of mine and I figured misery loves company.”

“Ummm… No… I haven’t. Nobody speaks to me…you know?” I gazed at her sadly.

“It’s like… You make out a little with one guy and by the end of the next day you’re suddenly the school whore.” I sat back stunned by her…openness? “And I wasn’t even that much into him to begin with.”

As I stared at her blankly I realized I had no idea of what she meant.

“It’s like one kiss becomes one blow job and one blow job becomes ‘you fucked the football team’ or something.” She frowned. “So… What’s your story?”

“Uhhh…” Where do I begin? “I guess I’m just different; not like other guys?”

“Is that really so bad? I mean… Are you queer or something?” Again I blushed at her bluntness. “It’s not like I really care or anything. I mean I’m def queer for hotties. I’m just curious about you and I would never out you to anybody.”

“I don’t think it matters at this point.” I said sadly. “I mean… I’m already tagged.”

I gazed up into her eyes, mine verging on tears. For the first time I noticed how totally lovely hers were. And I also noticed the empathy reflected in them.

“You really don’t seem to hang out with anybody.” Katie didn’t smile.

“It’s better this way. I mean nobody wants to be seen even talking to me; you know?”

“Yeah…” Katie giggled. “I truly do. When I was in middle school…” She paused for a moment and quickly glanced around. Then she leaned in closer to me. “When I was in middle school my tits really…grew? I mean they became fucking humongous. Everybody called me monster mams. They even made mooing sounds when I walked past. The other girls were jealous and the boys…well…”

Katie’s voice trailed off. She didn’t need to finish her thought. I nodded. I couldn’t imagine what she went through or how terribly hard it must have been.

“That’s kind of when I started.” Katie said so softly I could barely hear her sweet voice.

“Started…?”

“Yeah…” She grinned but it was a wry sort of grin. “Cutting…”

“Cutting…?” I began to perspire and feel faint.

“You’re one too…aren’t you?” She reached out and gently grasped my hand. “I can tell you know?” She chuckled. “Anyway… It takes one to know one. Like… You’re always wearing something to cover your arms.”

Hanging my head in fear and…shame…I was exposed. Katie suddenly got up and moved to sit catty cornered from me. The scent of her cologne was amazing; kind of spicy? She took my right hand and brought it up beneath the short sleeve of her tunic.

“Do you feel that?” She asked with a smile.

My eyes must have bugged and my mouth opened with surprise. I felt the tiny scars on the inside of her arm. I never would have thought…

“You have a nice gentle touch.” She snickered. “Where are yours?”

Gesturing to the underside of my left forearm I frantically glanced around to see if anyone was watching. I wasn’t about to expose my secret in such a public place. There were too many others around and so I let Katie reach up to feel them. I gazed around as she did so but nobody noticed.

“Nobody ever wastes lunch break to throw shade at anyone. They’re too busy sneaking a smoke or burning a splif.” Katie giggled. “So… You still didn’t answer my question.”

I stared blankly at her. Like…what’s a splif anyway?

“Are you gay?” Her eyes bore into mine.

I didn’t know how to answer her. I never really thought about it…the big it! I shrugged my shoulders as I looked at her long slender fingers clasping my hand. Her nails were a lovely shade of deep rich red. The color matched that of her lips and emphasized her quite pale complexion.

“Well… Do you like girls?” She asked.

“I guess… I mean I like looking at them.”

I couldn’t believe the very personal nature of our conversation thus far considering I’d only just met her.

“What do you like about girls? What do you look at when you do look at girls? What do you look at when you look at me?”

“Ummm…” I was stunned by her question. “Well…?” I took a deep breath. “I like the way you put yourself together? I mean you have a real sense of…” I searched for the words as I looked away for a moment. “You have a real street style?” I smiled.

“Street style…?” Katie laughed. “Street style…! Where’d you learn that one?”

“From a magazine I guess.” I blushed furiously.

“Cosmo…? No…” Katie glanced away for a moment. “Vogue…!” Her face lit up and she chuckled. “And you have a lovely smile. You shouldn’t hide it.”

Blushing profusely I felt like one of those bugs pinned to a board and on display for all to see. Katie was digging up all my innermost secrets as if it was quite normal. She reached into her shoulder bag and pulled out a magazine. It was Vogue…of course. Katie then splayed it out in front of me just as the bell rang signaling the end of our break.

Gathered my things, I placed them neatly into my backpack. As I stood to leave, Katie spoke quite sharply.

“Wait…!”

She spoke in an almost admonishing voice. I froze instantly in place and gazed intently at her. Katie grinned almost…lewdly?

“I want you to meet me here after school is out.” I felt like Katie’s gaze was looking into the very depths of my heart and soul. “Do you understand?” I nodded. “Give me your phone.” I did so without even thinking. “I’m putting my number into it.” She worked intently. “Text me when you’re done for the day.” She handed it back.

Stared blankly at Katie I simply nodded. I was shocked by her commanding tone. I had no idea of what she had in mind…or why. Katie replaced the magazine in her bag. And with a coy smile she simply walked away leaving me staring at her; wide eyed and mouth agape. My entire being trembled with anxiety. I knew what I had to do.

The school nurse was quite accustomed to me using the restroom. I needed to sit because I was lacking in ‘that’ department when it came to peeing. And the embarrassment of using the usual boys’ room was too much to bear. I would be hassled and heaven only knows what else.

The only other safe place was the rest room in the guidance office. They too were only too familiar with my…situation? I must say the one major advantage of having a ‘short coming’ such as mine was that I was spared any physical activities entailing the need to change clothes or shower in the locker room.

But now I needed something much more than the opportunity to pass a little water. I was too wound up and far too frantic to hope to sit through the remainder of my class schedule. I walked into the nurse’s office. I smiled and waved at her as I rushed directly into the toilette.

My hands trembled with anticipation as I locked the door and set my backpack upon the basin counter. I quickly grabbed several paper towels. Opening up the top of the pack, I reached into a hidden pocket deep within its recesses. As if cradling the most delicate of treasures, I pulled out a small zippered bag containing a retractable scalpel, two alcohol pads and some bandages.

That special warm glow that precedes a physically and mentally stimulating experience already began to radiate throughout my body as I sat down upon the toilette seat. Closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I carefully pushed up the sleeve of my top until I could feel them; the remnants of my prior journeys into the land of bliss.

Opening the alcohol swab I wiped my arm and then the blade of my scalpel. After gazing at my ‘body art’, I decided upon where to cut. I would cut three straight lines across; each about a half inch long; one atop the other.

Taking one last deep breath and exhaling slowly, I began. I watched as the razor sharp blade sliced easily into my skin. The sensation was particularly unique because it didn’t hurt per say. I actually felt somewhat detached; as if I was watching someone else doing it.

My warm blood was a very sharp contrast to the cool air. As the bright red flow traveled down toward the edge of my arm, warmth radiated throughout my body. My entire being tingled and I felt electric and totally alive. The throbbing of my wounds began to pull me back into the present and I quickly turned my arm over so that the blood flowed onto the paper towels.

Turning my arm back over as I held the towels against the wounds, I leaned back with my eyes closed. A placid smile came to my lips. All the anxiety I felt just melted right out of me. I was somewhere in this blissful place when there was a knocking at the door.

“Are you okay honey?”

It was the nurse drawing me out of my euphoric state.

“Yes Ms. Tracey… I’m okay.” I said through the haze in my mind. “I’ll be out in a few minutes. It must have been the fish last night.”

I couldn’t think of anything else to say. And people always seemed to blame the fish for extended toilette stays.

“Okay sweet heart… If you need help just let me know. You’ll need a pass to go to your class. Don’t forget.”

As if I could. I quickly removed the towels from my new addition; a wee bit of the paper sticking to the cuts. After wiping the little additions to my ‘art portfolio’ with another alcohol swab I quickly applied the bandaging and taped it down around my arm. I put my scalpel back into its secret hiding place and flushed the evidence of my indulgence down the toilet.

After wiping the basin’s top, washing my hands and pulling down my sleeve, I took one final glance around to make sure that no trace of my activities remained. Grabbing my backpack, and after getting my pass from Ms. Tracey, I went to class. My state of calm bliss remained for the rest of the school day. Even several derisive appellations hurled my way from a few ‘douchetards’ couldn’t spoil my state of being.

Everything was good until the final bell of the school day rang and I remembered my ‘date’ with Katie. The angst began to fill me once again. I could simply bug out but then I would have to face her wraith the next day. I slowly, wearily and warily, walked to the place we sat during the lunch break. Putting down my backpack I and sat gazed around hoping she would simply…forget?

But, as fate would have it, Katie came toward me from out of the administration building. Her appearance was quite different. She had let her glorious strawberry blond hair down. She also appeared to be slightly disheveled. Smiling at me as she came closer, I could see that her lipstick was barely visible and slightly smudged outside her lip line.

“I bet you didn’t think I would come.” She giggled. “And you’re a very bad boy. You didn’t text me.” She pouted as she sat down.

Blushing, I simply smiled as best I could and shrugged my shoulders.

“Caulder wanted to see me.” She snickered. “The old bitch wanted a taste so I gave her one.”

“Huh…?” I had no idea of what she was talking about.

“She wanted to lick my pussy.” Katie laughed. “She’s so fucking pathetic. We made out a little and I simply sat at the edge of her desk and lifted up my skirt. I adore looking at the top of her head when she’s on her knees.”

I was stunned! I couldn’t believe what Katie was telling me.

“So…” She chuckled as she rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “How was your day dear?”

I was still so stunned by what I’d just heard that I couldn’t respond. I simply stared at her and shrugged my shoulders. Katie reached out and grasped my left forearm.

“Owww…”

Katie had just grabbed the very spot where I made the cuts. I pulled my arm away and she sat upright with a grin and a surprised look on her face.

“You cut yourself. After the break you went and cut yourself!” Her eyes were aglow and as bright as her smile. “Let me see!” She arched her brows.

The courtyard always empties quickly when school ends for the day. Glancing all around to check for any ‘witnesses’, I carefully pushed up my sleeve and looked away from Katie and my arm. I didn’t want to see her face or the bandaged wound.

“Oh wow… The bandage is soaked through.” Her voice was serious in tone. “Do you have another?” I nodded. “Give me your stuff and I’ll change it for you. No need to ruin your linen blouse with a blood stain.”

I once again dug my ‘kit’ out from the recesses of my pack. I handed the little bag to Katie. Grinning, she took it from my hand and opened it. I glanced off again as she carefully tucked my sleeve.

“Nice…” I felt her removed the bandage. “Oh my God…! This one is amazing!” I turned to see her gorgeous pale green eyes meeting mine as I felt tears welling up. “Oh dear…” Katie lilted. “I’ve upset you.”

Too embarrassed to be able to utter any words I simply nodded my head and gazed down at my free hand. Katie swiftly set to work first swabbing the cuts and then wrapping my arm up again. No sooner had she finished then she took my hand in her own. I treasured her touch and warmth.

“Look baby doll…” I trembled at Katie’s sweet appellation. “If we’re going to be close friends, then you need to understand that I mean you no harm. And I really think your…your ‘body art’ is amazing. I’ll show you mine later.” She snickered. “You want to get out of here?” Katie grinned impishly.

Gazing at our hands, mine in hers, I couldn’t help but run the tip of my finger over her polished finger nails as they glistened so brightly in the light of the day. The finish was so very smooth. I could only imagine how that polish would look and feel on mine.

“Yeah…” I said in a whisper, my eyes still cast down. “Sure…”

“Dope…!” She giggled. “Let’s book it.”

My eyes still couldn’t meet hers.

“You don’t talk much…do you?” Katie stood up and collected her things. “Oh well… I’m sure that’ll change.” She giggled.

Katie took my hand in hers and we walked toward the parking lot. She began to talk about how we might spend the afternoon. I half listened. I was totally consumed by this amazing…this glorious woman. She seemed so much older than me; much more…sophisticated…and adult? I was somewhat stunned when we stopped alongside of a very expensive looking Porsche with a convertible top.

Katie opened the door for me and I got in. I needed to plant my butt first and then swing my legs in. The seat was so much lower than in my mom’s car. Indeed I almost felt like I was sitting on the ground. Only the exquisite feel of the leather and the amazing interior appointments gave me a real sense of where I was; in the very lap…no pun intended…of luxury?

Katie shut my door, walked around the car and got in. She started up the car and the motor made a heavy low growling sound. My seat actually vibrated beneath me as though it had a built in vibrator that made my entire body tingle as the stereo began to blare with industrial dance music.

“Like it…?” Katie grinned.

“Huh…?” Clueless…

“The car sweet heart… Do you like it?” She asked …more insistently?

“Ummm… Yeah…” I responded just loud enough to be heard over the music.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve squirted just from doing this.” Katie smiled wickedly.

Katie stepped on the accelerator causing the seat, and the entire car, to vibrate most noticeably. I was actually a wee bit frightened by the noise. Katie laughed. I was still trying to figure out the squirting thingy as Katie fumbled with a switch.

“You should see the look on your face. It’s not going to explode I promise you.”

“Are your folks rich or something?”

“No…” Katie laughed. “This is a gift from an admirer.”

“Huh…?” Say what?

“I whored it.” She chuckled.

“What…?” I exclaimed as I sat stunned.

“Okay my sensitive one…” She said sweetly and chuckled. “If calling me an escort makes you feel more relaxed…?” Katie chuckled and left the sentence unfinished.

With a short screech of the tires we exited the parking lot and headed toward the highway. The growling of the motor became a high-pitched smooth sounding noise. Katie drove rather intensely and in no time at all we were on the seventeenth street causeway headed toward the beach. Katie moved her body to the music as much as the seat belt would allow.

“If this car had a pole I’d dance for you.” Katie glanced at me and chuckled. “Would you put a dollar in my G-string?” She asked slyly. “Using only your mouth…of course.” She chuckled again.

I had no idea of what she meant but her wicked gaze said it all. We were now driving slowly up A-one-A past the park and toward the center of the ‘strip’ of clubs and restaurants. The Elbow Room past on our left and Katie slowed the car to almost a crawl.

“I like doing a beach run now and then.” Katie spoke as she continually glanced to her right at the beach. “Sometimes I cruise to see if there are any available babes to jump on. But today I’m going to pass. I’m tired and I want to spend some time with you. Anyway…” She snickered. “You’re my babe today…and maybe for longer.” She eyed me slowly. “We’ll see.”

“Why…? Why me…? Nobody else seems to want to even be in the same school as me.” I verged on tears.

“I don’t know.” She said softly. “There’s something about you… There’s something inside you that screams out to me.” She turned quickly toward me. “I noticed you on the very first day I saw you. I knew. I just knew you were like me. I knew you were a cutter…at the very least.”

Gobsmacked…to say the least…! I wasn’t sure whether it was what Katie said, or the no frills way said it. She didn’t seem to have any illusions about who she was, about what she had or how she obtained it. And she didn’t seem to feel the need to apologize for it. Suddenly we turned into the driveway of a high rise directly across from the beach and drove into the garage.

“We’re home.” Katie lilted with a grin as she turned off the engine and got out of the car.

Before I could even gather my things she opened the car door for me. Katie took my backpack and then offered me her free hand. I gladly took it as she helped me out of her car. Hand in hand she led me to the elevators and up to the nineteenth floor; second from the top.

“Are your parents home?” I asked innocently as she opened the door with her key.

“Fuck no…!” Katie laughed and flung her head back, her amazing hair spreading out to give her face a fiery corona. “I don’t even know where they are these days.”

“Another admirer…?” I asked trying not to sound as stunned as I was.

“Nopers… Same one as the car…” She smirked. “I let him suck my toes and, if I’m in the mood, eat my pussy if he’s a really good boy.” She turned to me. “Or I sometimes just give him a blow job or a foot job… He loves those.” As an afterthought she added: “And sometimes I do fuck his brains out.”

“A foot job…? A blow job…?”

A foot job or a blow job…? Well at least I sort of knew what a blow job was. And certainly fucking him was no mystery either. My face betrayed my innocence.

“A foot job…?” I repeated.

“You know…” Katie swung the door open and held it for me. “I jerk him off with my feet and then he gets to lick my toes clean.”

She laughed and dropped my bag beneath a table at the entryway. I was immediately taken by the most stunning view of the ocean ever. As if hypnotized I walked over to the sliding door of her terrace and simply stood and stared. The colors of the water were amazing; aqua, azure, emerald, and sapphire shades dazzled my eyes. I briefly wondered whom I had to have licking my toes to get a place like this.

“Listen sweetie pie…” Katie lilted as she removed her blouse. “I’m going to take a quick shower and freshen up. There’s some stuff in the fridge if you’re hungry or thirsty.”

I turned to look at her briefly. Katie had doffed her blouse and skirt. She wore an amazing sky blue bra that magically kept her nipples out of sight…but just barely. I looked away and blushed. She simply giggled.

“My shy little one…” Katie smiled, chuckled, and shook her head. “Just make yourself at home. Oh… And we’ll be going out to dinner by the way.”

Before I could turn and say anything Katie disappeared into what must have been her bedroom. I still couldn’t get over the fact that she was finishing upper school and already had her own car and apartment. I fumbled a bit with the sliding door’s lock but finally managed to open it. A lovely breeze off the ocean hit me immediately as I stepped out onto her terrace.

I don’t know how long I was outside. It wasn’t until I heard Katie call my name that I realized I had zoned completely out just taking in the amazing view and breathing in the fresh scent of the ocean. I turned to find her wrapped in a bath towel. Her long strawberry blond hair was still damp, but combed out. She looked amazing.

“Nice view…huh…?” Katie snickered.

“Yeah…” I managed to blurt out with a smile.

“Come on in and we’ll do something to really relax us.” She smiled wickedly.

I walked back in leaving the door opened. The breeze was so amazing and refreshing I didn’t want it to ever end. Katie sat down on a white leather couch. On the glass topped table in front of it was some sort of glass device with a tall slim neck and a bulbous base. It contained a golden brown liquid of some sort. Another glass tube extended out of the base at a forty five degree angle.

Katie patted the cushion next to her and I sat down. She opened a mirrored box and a very exotic aroma wafted out. She removed what looked like a thin golden candy bar and, with a single edged razor that resided in the box, cut off a small piece. After placing the piece upon a screen in top of the tall neck, she retrieved the lighter from the box. She lit the piece and inhaled the smoke as it sped downward into the liquid and back up through the angular extension.

Katie closed her eyes and sat back against the couch. She placed her feet upon the table and continued to slowly inhale until she couldn’t take in any more. Katie held her breath for a time and then slowly exhaled a cloud of smoke. A look of supreme bliss appeared on her face and she smiled as brilliantly as I’d seen thus far.

“It’s hash sweet heart. It’ll cure all that ails you in a flash.” She smiled blissfully. “Ever try it?”

“Ummm… No…” I said softly.

I’d never even heard of it. The aroma of the smoke was kind of spicy…pungent…but still spicy? Katie leaned forward and repeated her little ritual placing another small piece into the glass top. Katie handed me the glass…thingy. I stared at it for a moment and then at her.

“Go ahead honey.” She smiled. “I promise it won’t hurt you.”

My hand trembled slightly as I grasped the bulbous bottom. It felt cold. Raising it till the glass extension was between my lips, I stared anxiously at Katie who continued to smile placidly. She brought the lighter up to the small glass bowl containing the golden substance.

“When I light it…suck it in slowly.”

She lit the stuff and I began to as she said. I slowly drew the smoke down and through the liquid. It made a bubbling sound as the smoke travelled through the glass tube and into my lungs. The smoke was cooler than I imagined and I couldn’t taste a thing.

When I began to feel the smoke kind of making me choke, I stopped and handed the glass thingy back to her. I held my breath as long as I could before exhaling slowly as she had done. I instantly began to cough. Katie hopped up and swiftly went out of the living room. She returned holding two glasses of pale golden liquid.

“Here…” She said. “Have a little of this.”

“What is it?” I said hoarsely between coughs.

“It’s a little white wine. Go ahead.”

Katie handed me the glass. I’d had wine before. But it was usually on a holiday or some other special occasion. I sipped the wine and my cough quickly subsided as my throat eased. Suddenly the room began to sway slightly and I felt…giddy. I giggled and grinned stupidly.

“Feeling better honey?” Katie snickered.

“Yeah…” I nodded, still grinning. “I feel a lot better.”

“Good…” Katie exclaimed proudly. “Now… Into the shower with you.”

“Huh…?”

“We’re going out to dinner and we might as well look our best.”

“But this is all I have.” I wasn’t exactly dressed for it. “I had no idea…”

Katie didn’t let me finish. She hopped up and took my other hand. I felt as if the wine glass was permanently affixed to my free hand. She led me into her bedroom and then her bath. I must say her bathroom was amazing. There was a tub in the center and a shower stall with multiple nozzles on three of the walls. The room was larger than my bedroom!

Opposite that arrangement was a wall of mirrors with a row of cabinets topped with a marble countertop. There were two water basins with gold fixtures. As I gazed around I noticed that the walls seemed to be some kind of stone; maybe marble or something? Katie took the wine glass from my hand and gave me the glass pipe.

“Here sweet heart… Have another hit whilst I help you undress.”

Following Katie’s example, I did as she did and lit the top. Once again I slowly drew in the smoke as she unbuttoned my top. As I closed my eyes and held my breath again, Katie removed my top being careful to pull the sleeve over the length of the pipe. As I slowly exhaled she undid the drawstring to my trousers and lowered them so that I might step out.

Now normally I would never have let anyone do this. I was extremely self-conscious, and more than a wee bit ashamed, of my frail frame. But when she lowered my shorts I sort of freaked. I wouldn’t even let my mom see my…boy bits?

“Now stand still and let me do this.” Katie admonished. “It’s not like I haven’t done this before and there’s nothing you have that I haven’t seen before. Stop being a baby.”

I stood still with my legs slightly crossed. Katie hooked her fingers beneath the elastic band and began to tug them down.

“Stop it!” Her voice was quite firm. “Stop it right now!”

I turned beet red and allowed her to continue.

“Oh my God…!” Katie’s brows shot up and her mouth was agape from the shock. “I think my nipples are bigger than…than that.” She giggled and glanced up at me. “Does it work?”

Totally gronked, I immediately tried to conceal myself again but Katie would have none of that. She forced her arm between my legs and wedged them apart. Gazing up at me she smiled gently.

“Look…” She began. “You have nothing to be ashamed of as far as I’m concerned. If we’re going to be friends…truly close friends…than you can’t hide anything from me. And I won’t hide anything from you.”

Katie suddenly stood up and let her towel drop to the floor. I was stunned. Katie was right. I think her nipples were bigger than my dick…sort of. Her body was…perfect. It was as perfect as my child-like face. Her boobs were huge but not grotesque. They actually appeared to be quite firm and her large nipples pointed upward in defiance of gravity.

But what amazed me the most was her totally denuded vagina. I was to learn that Katie had a Brazilian waxing every month or two. I’d never seen a naked woman before; at least not in real life. And I’ve never seen one so…so perfect…not even in a magazine!

The rest of Katie’s body was quite full without being…pudgy…or even hunky chunky? Her hips were wide and she had a slight paunch just below her navel. Though slightly shorter than me, her legs appeared to be longer than her torso. And they were so well shaped.

My eyes finally settled upon her vagina. Her pubis was plump and all that I could see was a divide down the center. But at the very top of the slit I noticed a protruding nubbin. I had no idea of what it possibly might be. Katie noticed my staring. She looked at what had caught my attention and chuckled.

“Oh my God…!” Katie cried out in amazement as her hand flew to her mouth. “You’ve never seen one before. Have you!”

I shook my head too shocked, stunned, and amazed to speak. Katie smiled warmly at me and slightly turned her head as if to say; ‘shame on you’.

“That’s my clit baby doll. It’s kind of big. Want to touch it?” Katie’s grin was absolutely wicked. “I promise it won’t bite.” She lilted and laughed. “Unless you’d like me to...”

I stood frozen. My eyes were as wide as saucers and my mouth was agape. I thought how neat and ideal her…equipment was? No external parts to fuss with and nothing to bind or pinch when one crossed one’s legs. Two things flew into my mind almost at the same time. I thought how totally convenient and beautiful Katie’s equipment was; what a brilliant bit of…design? My second thought was of how totally convenient and beautiful it would be for me to have one of my very own.

As if in a dream, Katie grasped my hand and, holding my index finger, ran the very tip of it up her slit and over the little nubbin. Her entire body shuddered as she did so.

“Here…” Katie giggled. “Try this…”

She again took my index finger and ran it in a circle around her nipple. I could actually see it engorge. The skin around it had these tiny little bumps that seemed to turn a deeper shade of pink. The sensation was so very odd in that I never thought a girl’s nipples could have such a wonderfully strange texture.

An amazing array of freckles ran across her chest and along the top of her boobs. I hadn’t noticed them before. Her freckles must have deepened in color when I touched her. I gazed up into Katie’s eyes. They were warm and smiling just as her mouth was. She quickly turned, opened the shower door, and turned on the water.

“Now…” Katie announced. “Before you go in it’s my turn.”

The hash had finally relaxed me whilst all this was going on. Before I could even react, Katie swiftly cupped my gnads. I nearly jumped with surprise but her grasp was firm and yet very gently…and warm.

“These kind of match your cock. They’re cute. Kind of like a baby’s?”

There was no sarcasm or malice in her voice. She slowly rotated her thumb across the head of my dick.

“Does it ever get hard?”

I shook my head and lowered my eyes to the stone floor.

“No matter…” She said brightly as she pushed me to the shower door. “In you go. And be sure to shampoo and condition your hair. We’re going to have fun tonight.”

The water felt amazing as it hit my body from three sides. I felt as though I’d never really had a real shower before. I knew it must have been the hash I smoked that seemed to make everything feel so…so intense…and wonderful? I could have stayed standing in the shower all evening had Katie not knocked on the glass door to rouse me from my stupor.

Doing as she requested, I shampooed my hair and soaped my body with her amazing floral scented soap. When I finally stepped out of the shower I could smell the aroma of flowers and herbs. I sniffed at my forearm and grinned with the aroma of her scented soap as it wafted up into my nose. My mouth was dry and I searched for the glass of wine.

Katie met me with one of her enormous bath towels. She wrapped me in it as she had done herself; around my body and snugged just beneath my armpits. Katie also wrapped a smaller towel around my head to soak up the water in my hair. I noticed that she had put on a nearly transparent pale green bra and matching panty that left nothing to the imagination.

Spying my glass of wine on the counter top I quickly went to grab it. My entire body felt weightless and my movements seemed to be slow and graceful. I felt very conscious of every single part of my body as it moved. The air seemed to move over my limbs and the sensation was of being shrouded in the finest and lightest gossamer-like cloth.

“Here baby doll…” Katie pulled a small chair out from beneath the counter. “Have a seat and we’ll start working on you.”

I giggled and sat down. For the first time in a very long time I gazed at my features. For once I didn’t turn away in disgust. I stared and noticed every little detail. My perfectly straight button nose; my large pale gray eyes; my mouth with very full lips; every feature that normally disgusted me suddenly seemed…beautiful.

“Let’s see what we can do with you.” Katie said as she removed the towel from my hair and gently rubbed the remaining moisture out. “You have amazing features you know. I could really fiend your face.”

Katie stared as intensely at my reflection as I did. I, in turn, noticed the wonderful band of freckles that ran across the bridge of her nose. I almost wished I had the very same dispersion of freckles across mine. She picked up a brush and began to brush out my hair.

“You’re really quite beautiful. If you only had tits…” She left her thought unfinished. “You know…? With the right makeup you could pass as a fourteen-year old girl. You could make a fortune with that look.”

I barely heard Katie. I was so fixed upon how she styled my hair. It was longish to begin with but mostly on top. The sides were short as was the back. The manner in which she styled it made it appear to be almost a wedge with a few locks of hair dangling across my forehead.

“We should go out as sisters tonight.” Katie gazed into the reflection of my eyes. “Would you mind? I always wanted a sister and if I do our makeup just right... Do you think you’d like that?” She smiled gently and then cooed in my ear. “Would you do that…for me…?”

Katie stood directly behind me with her hands upon my shoulders. I met her smile with my own. Suddenly she crouched down enough for me to feel her boobs on the back of my neck and to see her face just above the top of my head. At that moment in time I made my fateful decision.

“I’ll do whatever you’d like me to do.”

“I knew you would. I knew you’d do this for me.” Katie grinned, hugged me, and kissed my ear. She suddenly became serious. “But I want you to want it as well. Just think of how much fun it would be? We could be like sisters.”

Now you must understand that I thought Katie to be the most exciting woman since…since Eve! But what I truly found the most exciting about Katie was that she allowed me to actually be in her presence. She wanted to give me something I never really had…someone to play with. So what if she wanted to play ‘Barbie Doll’ with me being her Barbie? How could I resist? But a sudden frightening thought hit me.

“But what would I wear? I mean… My things are sort of…well…they’re not guy or girl clothes.” Pa…nic…!

“Don’t worry baby doll. I’m sure we can find something for you.” Katie beamed.

Turning back to the mirror, I couldn’t take my eyes away from my image. I didn’t know whether it was the hash or the wine or both or what. The more I gazed at myself the more Katie’s words resounded in my ears. It might actually be fun. Tearing my eyes from the mirror I gazed up at her again.

“Okay…” I grinned. “I guess it should be fun.”

“Great…!” Katie said gleefully.

She pulled out a second chair to sit on and opened up a drawer between us. A plethora of aromas arose from the various colorful and interesting looking boxes that nearly filled the drawer. Katie removed several of them along with something that was rolled up. It wasn’t until she removed several bottles of pale creamy beige liquids that I realized it was her cosmetics collection.

“Wait…! What are you doing?” I was…concerned.

“Well you can’t very well be my sister if you don’t look like a girl. Anyway don’t be so concerned. People see whatever you choose to show them…especially guys.” She shook her head. “They’re so weird. Here…” Katie handed me her glass…pipe? “Have another hit of this shit and relax baby doll. This is going to be fun.”

Katie voice was full of excitement as she spoke and I slowly inhaled another ‘hit’ from her pipe. As she opened each of the three plastic cases revealing a cornucopia of colors, my eyes were immediately drawn to the sparkling metallic shades tuck in amongst the matte ones.
Katie pulled the cap off of one of the bottles and pumped several small squirts of some liquid onto her hand. She then spread it all over her face. Next came a small tube of goo. She unscrewed the top and, with a small applicator attached to the cap, dabbed several spots upon her eyelids.

“What are you doing?” I watched in wonder.

“Haven’t you ever seen your mom put on makeup?”

“I usually leave before she gets ready for work.”

“Doesn’t she ever go out…like on a date or something?” Katie asked as she spread the dabs on her eyelids.

“No…” I watched Katie’s every move reflected in the mirror. “I’m usually in my room or something anyway.” I remarked sadly.

“Well…” Katie huffed. “I’m spreading primer on my eyes so that the colors stay put. The stuff on my face is simply a moisturizer. I sometimes use foundation and contouring; especially if it’s the first date and a totally slutty look is…requested?”

“You mean you cover your freckles?” I was shocked.

“Yeah…” She said sadly. “I hate them; especially in the summer when they really stand out.”

“Oh God no…” I was saddened. “I love your freckles. I wish I had them.”

“Well…” Katie spoke as she rubbed something upon her lips. “You’re sweet but you can take them. Although…” She gazed off for a moment. “There was this one guy who liked to connect the dots across my tits with his tongue. That was kind of nice actually.” She giggled.

I took a sip of wine to ease the slight roughness I felt in my throat from the smoking.
“What’s in here anyway?” I asked holding up the glass pipe thingy.

“Oh…” She laughed. “I filled it with Drambuie. It’s going to be fun when we drink it.” Katie’s eyes glowed as she gazed at the golden brown liquid. “It’ll be full of hash resin and other good stuff.” She giggled. “It’s a real…rush.”

‘Drink it…?’ I thought. How high is high enough? I’d certainly reached it. I was giddy and ever so slightly dizzy. My stomach began to growl a wee bit and I suddenly realized I was also hungry.

“I put together some old things for you to wear whilst you were showering.”

Katie eyed me carefully as if gauging my reaction. I simply smiled and nodded as she turned and handed me a neatly folded small pile of clothing. I noticed a satin pearl pink tank top, gauzy white draw-stringed trousers, what appeared to be a white cotton panty, and a blush pink blouse like garment that I assumed went over the top. I looked up at her questioningly.

“We’re going to a nice restaurant and those things of yours simply won’t do.” Katie’s gaze was piercing.

“But aren’t these…girls’ clothes?”

Katie laughed. They really weren't much different than what I normally wore. Maybe slightly more...femme?

“If your eyes were any wider they’d make great saucers. Don’t worry sweet heart. Always remember that people see what they want to see, or at least expect to see. Try them on. They may be a bit large in certain places and too small in others but they should do.”

I began with the pastel blue panty. I noticed how much softer it was than my usual shorts. I could even smell their scent; something Katie obviously put on them? Without removing the towel I slid them up my legs until every ‘little’ thing was settled. They fit surprisingly well and felt as good on my body as they did in my hands.

“Take off the towel honey. I’ve already seen your…short comings?” Katie chuckled as I smiled coyly and blushed. “After all…sisters see each other naked all the time.”

As I dropped the towel to the stone floor and bent to retrieve it, Katie reached out and grasped my hips pulling me toward her. She turned me around inspecting the panty’s fit on my body.

“Perfect…” She grinned and chuckled. “You have a really cute ass and lovely legs.” Katie looked up at me. “Do you shave them?”

“Huh…? Shave what…?” Clueless…as usual…

“Your legs silly… Do you shave them?” Katie then looked closer. “Oh my God…!” She said with a laugh. “You hardly have any hair! And they’re so tiny!” She suddenly reached out and grasped my…boy junk. “Small wonder…” She smirked.

I blushed and pulled away from her reach. ‘Small wonder’ was right.

“Oh come on you derp.” Katie laughed although I saw no reason. “Awww… I’m embarrassing you.” She lilted. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to. Anyway baby doll… We’re not interested in one another for that reason. Right…?”

“Yeah…” I nodded sadly. “I mean you’re really beautiful…you know? But I guess I’m just not into girls that way.”

“Oh don’t be sad. We all have our likes…and dislikes. Finish getting dressed.”

Pulling the gauzy trousers up my legs, I noticed that they were a bit loose in the hips. I pulled the drawstring tight and knotted it in a bow. They also felt amazing; so soft and light weight. The top was next. I loved the way that felt although it was a more than a little bit too big in the chest area. The same aroma the panty had wafted up and I breathed it in deeply.

“Wow…! You look amazing!” Katie seemed surprised. “I have the perfect stockings for you. But I think we should do our faces first.”

‘Do our faces…?’ Hmmm… I was stunned at how easily Katie moved around, her perfect boobs swaying slightly as she turned this was and that. She seemed so comfortable in her nakedness; in her own skin. I envied her confidence and I envied her comfort and grace of motion.

Having me sit in the chair Katie began to work. Out came her magic brushes and the various color palettes. Katie explained everything she was doing and I listened carefully. I actually enjoyed the sound of her voice. And, even more so, I enjoyed her attention. In the brief time we were together she’d spent more time with me than anyone ever, except for my mom…maybe. And she fussed over me wanting my ‘look’ to be perfect.

“Okay…” Katie said as she inspected my eyes careful. “Let’s do the final touch. This may feel a little weird at first but it’ll really make those gorgeous eyes of yours stand out.”

Katie unscrewed the top of a long slender tube and withdrew a long wand with a small brush around the tip. She had me look up with my mouth opened and carefully brushed my eyelashes. Then she repeated the exercise on my lower lashes. This was my very first experience with mascara and she was right. It did feel weird…very weird at first.

“Now for your face baby doll…” Katie spoke as she put some stuff in her hand and spread it carefully over my skin. “You have such perfect skin.” She said with disdain. “Not even one zit… In fact my foundation may be too heavy and too dark for your skin. We really need to get you some things.”

‘Get me some things…?’ What could I possibly need? I must admit I was enjoying what she was doing to me but…for me to do this myself?

Why would I need to? Anyway, she began to apply some color with different brushes than those she used to do my eyes. Katie also explained what was being done…as if I would be doing this myself…as if…!

Once she was satisfied, Katie finished her work on my hair. She applied a nice scented clear liquid spray. She explained that it would make my hair easier to work with if I needed to fix it during the evening. She once again combed and brushed it almost as long as she worked on my face obviously wanting my hair to look as perfect as the rest of me.

Once satisfied Katie sprayed something on my hair to hold the style in place. The entire time she worked on me I sat with my back toward the mirror. I had no idea of what was being done to me. And, to be perfectly honest, I felt a wee bit of fear and anxiety over what she was doing. But another round of the pipe eased my concerns considerably.

“Now for the finishing touch…” Katie beamed.

Carefully inspecting the contents of her cosmetic drawer, Katie finally pulled out several tubes of lipstick. She held each one up to my face and finally put the ‘right’ color aside. As any artist might, Katie had a special brush for this as well. It was very thin with stiff bristles and an angular edge.

“This is amazing stuff.” Katie giggled. “It’s a lip stain that’ll last forever.”

“What…?”

I was shocked. What would happen when mom saw my stained lips? However would I be able to attend school the next day with my lips permanently stained?

“Don’t worry silly rabbit.” Katie crooned. “It does come off easily with the right remover.”

She smiled maternally as she removed the cap and withdrew the lipstick brush. Very carefully and deliberately Katie swiped some of the color, a deep wine colored red, onto the tip of the brush.

“Now…open your mouth a wee bit honey bear.”

I was becoming quite comfortable with her appellations of endearment. Katie sweet words sounded…warm and…dare I even think it…heart felt? She carefully began to outline the shape of my lips beginning with my ‘Cupid’s bow’.

“You are so fucking lucky honey. You have a French arch to your lips and it makes your mouth so…so fucking kissable.” Katie smiled and giggled. “I would trade my tits and ass for your features. They’re so…perfect.”

Then, with yet another brush, this one with an even end but the same type of stiff bristles, Katie began to fill in the rest of my lips.

“We should really have gone the entire route; scrubber, lip balm and all.”

I had no idea that doing one’s lips required an actually procedure. But then again all of this was startlingly new to me. Once she was satisfied with her work, Katie retrieve yet another tube of lipstick from the drawer. This one was a bronze metallic shade; also some sort of stain.

I must say that the feeling of the lipstick drying was…unusual? It almost felt like a drawing feeling as the stain set and dried. The entire time Katie had me keep my mouth agape. She took another brush, this one a different shape with the same stiff bristles but a rounded shape with a perfectly even end. She dabbed it onto the color along the stem of the applicator and began to use the same dabbing motion on my lips.

“Okay sweetness…” Katie was brimming with loving terms of endearment. “Your lips might feel kind of dry…like they’re going to peel off? So we’ll put some of this stuff on them.”

Removing yet a third tube that held a transparent, but slightly red tinted color, Katie began her application. After removing the wand thingy, Katie very carefully applied the thick stuff on my lips. Unlike the stains, this stuff seemed to be somewhat gooey and slippery? Rubbing my lips together was such an odd sensation.

“It’s just lip gloss sweet heart. It’ll keep your lips moist and totally kissable.” Katie giggled. ‘As if’ I thought…

Katie stood back from me and simply stared.

“Wow…”

Katie actually looked surprised as she surveyed her work as an artist might.

“You look…amazing.” She expression echoed her surprise.

She spun the chair around to have me face the mirror. I was stunned and speechless! I didn’t recognize the person…the girl…I saw in the mirror. I actually put my hand to my cheek to make sure the image was of me. My entire being trembled as I stared at myself wide eyed and open mouthed.

“Oh… My… God…!”

I didn’t think it possible but she made my eyes look even bigger than they already were. Katie, through her magic, and color choices, gave me a super pout. I looked not only a wee bit younger than my sixteen years, but totally femme. The shades of grey she used on my eyes looked quite sophisticated without being overly slutty?

“Seriously…?” Katie said with a grin. “You are totally fuckable.”

“I look like one of those models in the magazine.”

“You could model. You certainly have the figure for it; size two or maybe four? I’d love to see you in a slinky strapless gown. You’d look amazing.” Katie laughed. “I am so totally envious.”

After staring at her, and then back at the stranger in the mirror, I must admit she had a point. I did look…well…amazing. It was like an out of body experience. I was gazing at an amazing image, a phantom, a specter of a figure that encapsulated me. I felt as though I was cocooned in a blanket of beauty and the person inside that cocoon belonged there. I was, for the first time ever, seeing an image that resounded strongly in the recesses of my mind. I saw the true me.

“You could make a fortune you know. You’re so amazing that you could get at least a thousand or even fifteen hundred for just a date; and nothing else.”

“Huh…?”

“If you were an escort…you could make a fortune.” Katie suddenly looked sad. “But you’re too young. Let’s put on those stockings.” She left the bathroom for a moment and quickly returned holding sheer pink thigh highs. “Just pull up your pant legs. I can slip these on for you.”

I did as she asked as Katie unrolled each stocking up my leg to a point halfway between my knee and groin. Then she pulled down the pant legs. I had to admit that the stockings felt really amazing; especially as the material of the trousers rubbed against them.

“Okay baby doll… Why don’t you go and check yourself out in the full length mirror on my closet door whilst I get ready.” Katie beamed and chuckled.

I got up and did exactly what she asked. I was stunned. I no longer saw a guy who was too perfect to be a guy. I saw a young woman who was breathtaking…maybe even more than that? I turned this way and that catching different glimpses of myself. Katie was right. I did look hot…if that was even possible?

Slipped my feet back into my penny loafers and suddenly realized that they were all wrong. I needed something different on my feet. As I left Katie’s bedroom and walked back into the main room, I took notice of the way my feet seemed to glide within the shoes; the stockings felt amazing against the lining of the shoe.

“These are all wrong.” I said rather loudly; Katie still being in the bathroom.

“What’s all wrong?” She replied with equal volume.

“My shoes… They’re all wrong.”

I thought I heard Katie laugh but I was too busy luxuriating in the feeling of the outfit I was wearing; my outfit. I continued to wander around her living room and then back out onto the terrace. The cooling breeze felt cleansing. I loved the way it hit my hair and my trousers, pushing the fabric up against my skin. It felt…sensual.

“Here Chica…” Katie’s voice came from behind me. “Try these on. They may fit.”

I had lost all track of time. I turned to find Katie standing in the doorway of the terrace. She was holding a pair of shoes, pumps to be exact, and they were nearly the same color as the top she gave me to wear. I was so focused on the pumps that I neglected to notice her outfit.

“They have heels?” I whispered, almost to myself.

“Oh baby doll… They’re very short heels; hardly there at all. You’ll get use to them pretty quickly.” She snickered. “So… How do I look?” She pirouetted.

Gazing at her with amazement, I hardly recognized Katie. Her makeup was profoundly dramatic with deep red eye shadow highlighted by sparkly rose gold on her lids. The gloss on her deep red lips looked so…so wet…and inviting?

“You look amazing.” I stuttered.

“Do you think this dress is too much?”

‘Too much…?’ It was hardly there at all! The style was bare shouldered and the hem was above her knees. The material was stretchy and sparkled with golden metallic highlights against the figure hugging deep electric red. She looked like she was ready for a night of partying.

“It’s so…short.” Derp… “And clingy…” Double derp… “Where are we going to eat anyway?”

“Oh… Just to the mall... Maybe the Crab House or Seasons Fifty-two… Somewhere nice with an interesting menu…”

“You’re so dressed up though. I mean how do you manage to sit in that dress? Won’t your panty show?”

Katie chuckled.

“What panty?” She smiled wickedly. “I’m going kamikaze. It does pay to advertise you know.”

‘Advertise…?’

“Anyway…” Katie snickered. “Take these and try them on. Then we’ll get going.”

Taking the pumps from Katie, I went to sit down in her living room. I slipped off my shoes and slipped my feet into the pumps. They seemed to fit perfectly and appeared to be totally brand new…like…never been worn before? The color match was amazing and I loved the manner in which they seemed to hug my feet. I ran my fingertips delicately along the suede that covered them.

“I knew they’d fit.” She joyfully exclaimed. “Stand up and try walking in them.” Katie smiled gently.

I got up and immediately began to totter on the heels. Katie took my arm and helped me steady myself. I took several awkward steps as she guided me along.

“I don’t think these are such a good idea.” I gazed at her with a worried expression.

“Watch me baby doll. Like this…”

Katie strode the length of the room and back toward me; her hips swinging enticingly.

“Now you try it. Go slowly…with grace… Think of yourself as a sexy model. Thrust your hip out slightly ahead of your step and stand straight up. Posture is everything.” She laughed. “One foot directly in front of the other…”

Doing as she said, I walked the length of the room several times. It really wasn’t so bad. I liked the way my feet felt in the shoes although I didn’t know how women wore heels all day long. Once Katie was satisfied I wasn’t going to damage myself she handed me a small purse with a long silver chain.

“What’s this?”

As I gazed at the silver colored leather purse, I couldn’t imagine it was large enough to fit much more than maybe keys and tissues.

“It’s called a clutch but I pulled the chain out. I put in some tissues and the lipsticks I used on you. Just for freshening up after we eat.”

Katie turned and, after closing the terrace door and taking my hand, led me to the front door. We left with me trailing slightly behind her. I could only imagine the sight we made as we walked to the elevator. Katie dressed for a very wild night of partying and her younger sister in tow?

Once back in her car, she opened and closed the door for me. Once again I had to first plant my butt and then swing my legs in. The entire experience seemed unreal; almost out of body. And we were off to dine. It took but a few minutes to get to the mall and Katie pulled up to the valet.

“I can’t be bothered with parking.” She snickered. “And the valets are so totally cute…and so totally broke.” She laughed.

One guy opened Katie’s door and another opened mine. That was so totally dope. I actually felt like I was somebody. I felt important. You know?

“Hello Ms. Katie.” The valet said to her.

“Hey Manny… This is my cousin Stevie.” She turned toward me. “Stevie… This is Manny. One day he wants to marry me and have my babies.” She giggled.

I must admit that Manny was a totally buff hottie. He sported this really well manicured moustache and his pearly white teeth were offset by his deeply tanned complexion. His bulging body couldn’t be hidden by the shirt and tie he wore. Manny was obviously a gym type of guy and I thought he was kind of…well…amazing? Hmmm… What’s that all about?

Of course the host at the restaurant greeted Katie in the same manner as Manny. They even exchanged a few words. But I was too busy surveying the décor which was dimly lit and intimate. I did notice Katie clasping his hand just before he shuttled us off to a quiet and somewhat secluded corner.

Before the host even finished seating us, a waiter came quickly and pulled a chair out for me. I’d never had that happen before…not ever! I barely heard Katie speak when she said ‘the usual’.

“Earth to Stevie…” Katie chuckled.

So taken with everything I gazed at I hadn’t heard the waiter.

“What would you like to drink sweet heart?” Katie asked with a grin.

I gazed at her for a moment and then at the waiter who stood patiently; also grinning.

“Can I have what you’re having?” I asked Katie, my eyes wide and full of wonder.

“Sure…” Katie grinned at the waiter and winked. “I think that can be arranged.”

Now it’s not like I’d never been out to eat before. But with mom it was either the diner or maybe a pizza place or something kind of…homey? But this was something new. I opened the menu to discover that an appetizer was the same price as an entire meal where mom and I usually went.

“Everything is so expensive.” I whispered to Katie.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s on me. Anyway…this place is really only second shelf.” She said with a chuckle. “If a ‘date’ is taking me out to eat…it’ll easily run a hundred or more.”

“Wow…” I was in awe. “Really…? I never had a meal that cost even half that much.”

“You don’t hang with the right crowd honey.” Then Katie really shocked me. “We all wind up being whores. It’s only a question of how much we can charge. Lawyers are whores but they get three hundred an hour. Doctors are whores but they can get even more.”

Katie sat back as the waiter approached us with a bottle and two wine glasses on a tray. He made a great show of opening the bottle and pouring a little out for Katie to taste. Once she nodded her approval he refilled her glass and set the bottle down on the table along with a second glass. Katie poured a glass of wine for me.

“Even with the makeup you don’t look old enough to drink.” She snickered. “So I have to give it to you in case some state ass hole is in here checking it out.”

Taking the glass from Katie’s lovely hand I sipped the pale golden liquid. It was really good. I was still really feeling quite heady and famished when food suddenly began to arrive. We hadn’t ordered anything and I looked at Katie…clueless of course.

“The usual is what I usually order for food. If there’s anything else you want just tell our waiter. His name is Terry.”

Terry placed several plates down upon the tabletop and each had something exotic to be sampled. Katie quickly told me what each one was…basically anyway.

“That fact is…” Katie said as she speared a piece of duck and took a bite. “If you’re going to get fucked and you have to say ‘thank you’, then you better be getting more than a burger and a movie. You know what I mean?”

“Sort of…” I really didn’t know...of course. “So how did you get into this?” I asked quite softly, leaning closer to Katie.

“You mean the escort thing?”
“Yeah…”

Katie suddenly became excited. She leaned in toward me and spoke in an even more hushed voice.

“I guess it started with my grandfather.” Katie chuckled. “He used to sneak into my room at night and we’d fool around…you know?”

“What…?”

“Well it started off with him playing with my clit and over time one thing led to another. By the time I was twelve we were fucking like weasels in heat.” Katie’s expression was seriously serious.

“Oh my God…!” I was stunned. “What happened after that?”

“Well I wasn’t about to tell anybody. I mean at first it seemed really weird but he said that everybody did what we were doing. So who was I to say different…you know? If he said everybody did what we were doing then it was totally cool with me. Anyway…he always slipped me some money afterward…kind of to keep me quiet? So who was I to complain?”

“Is he still around?”

“Nopers… Mom caught us one day and that was the end of him. She threw him out and threatened to call the cops on him. That seems like years ago.”

“So what happened after that?” I was gob smacked!

“Well… At first she wanted to get me a shrink? But I saw no reason for it. I mean it wasn’t like I was fucked up and all. I must say that I really missed that old bastard. I actually looked forward to going to bed and fucking him. It was the money as well. I discovered how I could get whatever I wanted.” Katie laughed.

Everything I’d heard to that point seemed surreal…but logical?

“If I knew then what I know now, I would at least have made him pay me way more.” Katie spoke so nonchalantly.

“So when did you…start…” I was wide eyed and totally gobsmacked (oh…BTW…not an exam word).

I didn’t know how to ask her really so I made a slicing motion in the air with my knife.

“Oh that…” Katie giggled. “I guess after my grandfather was tossed out. It actually felt good. Well…you know. I mean it’s not like I loved the cock but… He made me feel good. He made me feel…wanted…” She gazed off for a moment and grinned. “Wanted…and desired…”

“Yeah…” I nodded sadly. I knew…sort of.... “So then what happened?”

The wine kept me feeling ‘heady’ and eating the delicious food kind of calmed me down. I actually felt relaxed and at ease.

“I met this guy at the movies.” Katie sort of got this dreamy look. She rested her elbow on the table; chin on her palm. “He was in college and he was très hunky; uber cute too.”

Katie sat back as our waiter cleared the empty plates as well as our used ones. He reset the table and announced that our main courses would follow shortly.

“And…?” I leaned in again and smiled. The suspense was too much.

“And he invited me to this party at a friend’s house.” Katie simply shrugged.

“And you just went?” I was once again shocked.

“Well…? He seemed nice enough and the house wasn’t far from the theatre. And he had this really cool Beamer. I thought I’d check it out…you know?”

I nodded but I didn’t know.

“Anyway… I hung out with him at the house. There was a ton of weed and coke and beer. Everybody was really blasted…including me. So he gives me this drink and the next thing I know I’m upstairs in a bedroom and he and his friends are running a train on me.”

“What…?” I had no idea of what she was saying.

“They were taking turned fucking me. And they didn’t care which holes they used.” Her expression became…ugly. “I was really pissed. I was covered in cum and leaking blood out of my ass hole. It wasn’t pretty.”

“So what did you do?”

Shocked didn’t begin to describe what I felt. It was more like…sickened?

“When they finished…? I began to scream that I was going to the cops and they’d all get busted for rape. They all were scared shitless. There were other girls at the party and they were getting on the guys as well. One of the other girls got me into the shower and helped me clean up. Thankfully my clothes weren’t messed up. Anyway…the guy who brought me said they’d give me three hundred dollars if I kept quiet.”

Katie then chuckled and smiled wickedly.

“I told him I wanted all their dope as well. So I left there with the money, two ounces of really good weed, a dozen hits of Ecstasy and two eight balls of coke.” She laughed.

We both sat back as the food arrived. I barely gazed at the plates even though the cornucopia of aromas emanating from the food was amazing. My eyes were fixed on Katie who smiled and giggled. She placed each plate alongside one another in the center.

“I like sharing.” She said.

Katie ate away as I picked at the food. It was very difficult for me to wrap my head around what she’d just told me. I felt so very saddened for her. Life really seemed to suck in her world.

“As I thought about what had happened and after several new additions to my…body art…?” She made that cutting motion on her arm with her knife. “I knew I could make a ton of money as an escort. So I contacted a service in town, gave them my fake ID…that’s a story in itself…and I was getting ‘dates’. They paid the service a fee by credit card and me with cash.”

“And you’re still doing the service thingy?”

I didn’t know why I asked. It seemed like a stupid question at the time. But I was a pretty naïve kid who didn’t really think any of this sort of thing really happened.

“Not any more... I have an agent now and some of the dates he arranges recommend me to their friends. It’s really easy money for the most part. Some just want to talk. Can you believe that?” Katie laughed. “Others just want a show. You know…do a strip and then just sit on their face or something.”

“Ewww…” Ewww…

“No…! It’s really cool.” Katie insisted. “The guy who did the apartment and car for me…? He’s my agent. He arranges everything and pays the bills. All I need to do is show up and go along with whatever. He screens them carefully and he always gets paid first. I make out like a bandit with the tips and stuff. Some even buy me things like jewelry if they’re regulars. And usually it’s an overnight thing. The ‘tip’ money is totally dope.”

“Oh my God…! You actually sleep with old guys?”

“Well…? Yeah…” Katie lilted and giggled. “That’s what whores do sweet heart.”

“Please… Don’t say that about yourself.” I was upset.

“Why baby doll…” Katie’s gaze turned serious. “What’s the problem? It’s only a word.”

“Yeah… Well so are fag, homo, sissy, and everything else I’ve been called!” I felt tears welling up and reached for my napkin.

“Don’t you dare rub your eyes! You’ll ruin all my work.” Katie took her napkin, reached across the table, and dabbed at the corners of my eyes and just beneath my lashes. “This is the way you do it.”

Katie sat back in her chair and looked at me. I could see from her expression that she totally understood what I was saying.

“I mean…” I sniffled. “Look at me!”

“You’re gorgeous baby doll.” Katie said softly.

“Yeah… Gorgeous if I was a girl. But I’m not. I’m a guy and I can’t even use the damn men’s room…at least not at school.”

“I didn’t realize it was that bad.” Katie’s voice trailed off. “Is that why you cut?” She said in a whisper. I nodded. “I have to admit you really don’t look like a sixteen year old guy. I mean your voice hasn’t even begun to change. Have you seen a doctor about it?”

“Yeah…” I said sadly. “When I went to get my shots for school...? My mom and the doctor had this...talk. They went into his office whilst I waited out in the waiting room? My mom came out all pissed off. She wouldn’t even tell me what it was about until later that night.”

“Let me guess.” Katie said with a calm expression. “He wanted to give you hormones.”

“Yeah... But mom wouldn’t even think about it. Anyway, she said my…my tiny boy thingy wouldn’t get any larger even if I took hormones. But I would need to start shaving and I’d begin to put on weight and muscles. Could you imagine? But I’d still need to sit down to pee.”

I could feel my face redden with anger. I didn’t want the evening to go that way; being pissed off, upset, and cutting…again.

“All I want to do is fit in…you know? I just want to be normal…like everybody else.”

“Oh baby doll…” Katie smiled and shook her head. “What’s normal? You look at me and think like; ‘hey…she’s normal’. Now how far from the truth would that be? Nobody is normal. Everyone has their own version of fucked up. You just might not see it when you look at them. But I guarantee you it’s there.”

“So what do I do? I just want to fit in. I’m really tired of being the freak of the week every week.”

Exhaling slowly, I felt my entire being deflate. Knowing that Katie could see my frustration and exasperation I knew she perfectly understood what I was saying. She gazed at me as she poured out the last of the wine from the small bottle.

“Okay… Be honest with me.” She said as she looked intently into my eyes. “Do you like the way you look now…I mean dressed and with the makeup?”

“I don’t know. Maybe…? I kind of like looking like the models in the magazines…you know?” I sat back and thought for the longest moment. “I think I do. Nobody gave me weird stares or nothing.”

“We should go up to the mall when we’re done.” Katie announced with a grin.

I stared Katie in horror. It was one thing to drive in a car and eat in a dimly lit restaurant. It was quite another to go traipsing around the mall dressed as I was in reasonably good lighting. And with an ‘audience’ no less…?

“What are you worried about?” Katie snickered. “You look amazing. You’ve spoken more in the last hour than you’ve said the entire day…at least to me.”

She was right. Of course having nobody to speak to, or with, might have been a factor. I was badly out of practice in that department for sure.

“So obviously you’re more confident dressed the way you are. You’re certainly way more comfortable…at least with yourself…and in your own skin.”

Thinking about what Katie said I knew she was right of course. I did feel more at ease dressed as I was although I wasn’t sure whether the wine and the hash were the real reasons. I made the decision to let her lead me…at least for this evening; which suddenly reminded me.

“Oh poopie shit…!”

“Finally…” Katie laughed. “A four letter bomb…!”

“I don’t have my cell phone.” I was close to panic.

“What…? Need to call mommy?” Katie giggled.

“I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve not been home after school. I don’t want her to boogie-woogie if she comes home and I’m not there.”

“Here…” Katie reached into her bag and handed me her phone. “Call on mine.”

“I hope she answers. She won’t answer numbers she doesn’t recognize.”

I made my call and mom did answer. She was more than a little surprised that I was calling on someone else’s phone. She was even more surprised to find out that I had a friend? But mom did understand and was thankful I called even though she wasn’t home yet. And she was very sure to tell me I had to be home by nine.

Whilst I was on the phone with mom, Katie got the check and paid it with a credit card. I happen to notice she had a few of them. For some reason that made sense to me. I mean a high school senior who was living better than most people with jobs would have a few of them. And heaven only knows what else.

“Come on baby doll… Let’s freshen up.”

Katie got up and I followed her. She led me, again by the hand, to the ladies room. I kind of freaked and hesitated by stopping. I caught her by surprise.

“What…?” She grinned. “If you’re dressed like that you’d better become accustomed to going in here. And remember, especially with adults, people see what they expect to see.” She laughed.

With great hesitation, and trepidation, I followed her in. There was one woman already in the restroom. She stood by the basin and gazed at her reflection in the mirror. In a panic I slipped into an opened stall and closed the door behind me making sure it was latched.

I sat on the toilette seat wondering what I’d gotten myself into and wishing that woman would leave. Katie went into the stall next to mine. I held my forehead in my hands and I was beginning to regret this entire…expedition?

“What are you doing!” Katie shouted quite sharply.

I nearly jumped straight up off the seat. I glanced up to see Katie’s grinning face looking down at me. She had to be standing atop the toilette seat.

“You can come out now. She’s gone.”

“I have to pee now.” I whine. “You scared the hell out of me.”

Katie simply laughed.

“Well…? Are you going to do it?” She lilted.

“Katie… Please…” I wanted just a little privacy.

“Really…?” She asked, the sarcasm dripping from her words. “I’ve held your cock in my hand and you’re too embarrassed to pee in front of me?”

“Seriously…” I sadly admitted.

“I’ve often gone into the same stall with a girlfriend. And they’ve done it with me. Just because you need to pass a little water doesn’t mean all life stops and ceases to exist.”

Shaking my head in defeat, I pulled the drawstring and lowered my trousers and panty. I kept my legs tightly together with my dick tucked safely out of sight. I sat down and, with my hand between my legs to make sure my dick pointed in the right direction, and tried to pee. I couldn’t let loose knowing that Katie was peering over the top of the stall.

Suddenly I heard the outside door open. Another woman walked in. Katie quickly sat down and soon I heard her letting loose into the toilette as well. Only then, with the sound of her passing water, was I able to do my thing. When I finished I took some toilette tissue and wiped the end of my dick. I certainly didn’t want to stain my ‘new’ panty or trousers.

We both seemed to exit the stalls at the same time to see a finely dress woman waiting, tapping her shoe’s toe somewhat impatiently and annoyed, for her turn. She smiled nervously at us and swiftly entered the stall. Katie and I gazed at each other and we both had to contain our laughter as we went to the basin and washed our hands.

Glancing up into the mirror, I kind of freaked. I didn’t recognize the image staring back at me even though that image somehow seemed…right? I noticed that the gloss was off my lips but the color was still firmly affixed. Whatever Katie used on my lips did seem to last forever. It was then that I realized I didn’t have my purse!

“Poopie shit…!”

“What’s up sweet heart?” Katie glanced at me as she was applying her lipstick.

“I left my purse at the table.”

“Go get it.” She laughed.

It was almost as if the waiter was waiting for me. He already had my purse in hand and he chuckled as he saw my panicked face. I took it as I thanked him.

“It happens all the time.” He said calmly.

Quickly rushing back I found Katie still preening herself with a small folding hair brush.

“I did that all the time.” Katie spoke as she ran the brush through her hair. “You get accustomed to having it with you but, even then, once in a while…” She grinned and didn’t need to finish her thought.

I once again gazed at my lips and licked them. Reaching into the small bag I easily found the lipstick and gloss. I unscrewed the cap and stared at the spongy applicator at the end. I gazed at my lips again and lifted the applicator wondering where I should begin.

“Here baby doll… Let me help you with that. It’s a real pain when you don’t get the lip outline right so start here.”

Katie began with my cupid’s bow. I needed to watch out of the corner of my eyes. She swiftly did the arch and then the bottom of my lower lip. She then sort of connected the lines and filled in the rest. I loved the deep red color. It took but a moment for the stain to dry and then Katie went over if with the gloss to prevent the stain from drying out my lips completely.

“There sweet heart…” I looked in the mirror and smiled. “You look amazing once again.” She said with a flourish of her hand. “And now…on to bigger and better things.”

We exited the ladies room and I followed Katie as she led me to the mall. It seemed like she was on autopilot the way she effortlessly wound her through the myriad of paths and passageways to the indoor food court and the escalators. It only took a moment or two and the heavy aromas of perfume drowned out the smell of food court pizza as we rode up to the main floor.

The Galleria appeared to be sparsely peopled due to the hour. That was more than okay with me as Katie gravitated toward Macys. I followed closely behind her glancing out of the corner of my eyes. Thought I’d been there before, this was a ‘new’ version of me and I desperately didn’t want to be noticed. But all was in vain. I noticed guys staring at me.

“Hey…” I called to Katie trying to get her to slow down.

“What’s up sweet pea?” She turned and stopped.

“I’m being stared at.” I whispered in despair.

“Of course you are.” She laughed. “So am I. That’s what guys do. They stare at you.”

“I never did that.” I insisted.

“I bet you did.” She countered. “I bet you looked to see what the honeys were wearing and how they looked.”

I thought for a moment and realized she was right. Jeans and a tee would never catch my eye. But a colorful stylish dress or a well put together woman in a smart suit would never fail to mesmerize. I frowned with that realization.

“So my dear… Get over it. We always scope out the competition.” She laughed. “Check out what’s in the windows. See if there’s anything that catches your eye.”

And Katie turned toward her destination with me in tow. She slowed her pace somewhat stopping every so often to check out a window display. I was grateful for that. I still wasn’t completely comfortable in my heels and my calves were beginning to let me know it. I must admit the shoes were otherwise fairly comfortable.

I began to glance down at the rounded toe of the shoe; which I thought to be my ideal of stylish. I loved the way my thigh highs disappeared into the rounded vamp of the shoe. And I loved the clicking sound of the heels as they struck the floor. The feeling of the trousers’ gauzy material gliding against my stockings was electric.

The aroma of various scents became stronger as we approached Macy’s. We then passed by Sephora’s. The aroma of perfumes and colognes was overwhelming. My nose picked up on the cacophony of fruity and spicy scents. And the colorful array of cosmetics was truly a breath taking sight.

“Yeah…” I heard Katie say. “We need to get you your own makeup. Maybe we’ll do one of their makeovers together. That would be awesome. And your nails…” Okay… So I bit them a little. “They’re a mess. It would be nice if you could let them grow a little. We could do mani-pedis together. That would be the shit!” She laughed. “Check out mine.”

Katie stopped long enough to let me truly soak in their beauty. Each nail was perfectly shaped in an oval. And of course the ox blood red polish looked three miles deep. I would have loved to be able to have nails like hers. I wondered how she could keep from rubbing her fingertips along the glistening tops; the smoothness seemed so inviting.

“Even at that short length we could take you to my nail stylist and let her have at it. And I’m sure my hair stylist could really do something for you.” Katie smiled coyly. “Your hair color is amazing as it is. But you would look so dope with auburn highlights or a full color job.”

Everything about Katie seemed so perfect; so perfectly styled and in place. Even her hair, which was only brushed out, looked amazing. But manicures, pedicures, hair stylists and such seemed so far out of my reality. And I had no idea of how I would ever get away with it all. I couldn’t even imagine the nightmare that would be awaiting me at school.

Katie led me right into the women’s department. She began to look about in earnest. I had no idea of why we were even here other than to air out the ‘new’ me. She stopped at a rack of midi length dresses and began to leaf through them. I watched as she examined the cut and pattern. She touched every fabric. I began to mimic her actions.

“God…!” Katie exclaimed excitedly. “This would look amazing on you if you had tits.”

She held a really slinky bodycon dress up to my body. It was a sleeveless, mid-calf length, maroon piece in the most amazingly soft cotton.

“You need to try this on; just to see what you look like. This deep red will really accent your lovely pasty complexion.” She laughed. “Here…” Katie handed me the dress with the hanger. “Hang onto this one.”

We continued down the rack and then, finding nothing else of real interest, we moved on to the maxi dresses. For whatever reason, Katie seemed to see me in things far more modest than she would wear. And I was thankful for that. However she did take one mini off the rack ‘just to see’. She linked her arm with mine.

“You know… We could fake tits with a training bra. Some of them have this cardboard feeling crap in them for shaping. With your height and slim figure, you wouldn’t need much to tent out the bodice of this dress.” She paused for a moment. “We really should get you on hormones so you could grow the real thing.”

“What…?!” Hormones…?!...?! “Surely you’ve got to be kidding!”

“I’m not kidding and don’t call me Shirley.” She laughed. “Well…think about it anyway. You would look so amazing. You could be a model with what you have. Just a little more on top would be perfect.”

‘Perfect’ my butt…! How would I ever pull that one off…even if I wanted to? Katie led me into the changing room and to a curtained booth.

“Okay baby doll… Strip…” She grinned.

As I took off my clothing I noticed that Katie was carefully hanging my things. Stepping out of my heels to remove the trousers provided a rather unique sensation. I felt as though something was radically wrong with my feet…like I was missing an essential piece of my anatomy?

Katie helped me into the maroon dress. It was lined with silk. The fabrics was as tantalizing as that of the trousers but in a different way. This feeling was more like a full body caress. I adored the way the hem fell against my calves mid-way. I slipped my heels back on and turned slowly. The fabric moved perfectly with me.

“Let’s go to the mirrors so you can really see.”

“But I can see in this one.” I really didn’t want to leave the safety of the booth.

“You need to walk in it anyway to see how it moves with your body. Come on baby doll. Don’t be afraid.” She lilted and, taking my hand, pulled me out of the booth.

I cautiously walked to the end of the fitting room where a three way full length mirror hung. I watched myself as I walked and Katie was right…yet again. The way the dress moved with me was amazing; almost like a second skin.

“Just image this dress with matching heels. Or better yet…” Katie was getting excited. “…a metallic gold heel. Oh…my…God…!” She chuckled. “I’m getting wet just looking at you.”

I gazed at my reflection and even walked back away from the mirror to see how I looked. I imagined the heels Katie mentioned and she was right...yet again. I could even envision a metallic gold shawl of some sort to cover my neck and shoulders. As I walked back toward the mirror I couldn’t help but smile coyly. That was my image and I was loving it.

“Come here baby doll. Let me try something.” Katie said as she walked behind me. “Just raise your arms.” I did. “I’m going to slide my hands in for just a minute.”

Katie gently slid her hands into the arm holes of the dress and covered both my…whatever do I call them…‘boobettes’…boy boobs? The warmth of her hands felt good and I covered hers with mine.

“You see sweet heart?” Katie lilted. “You just need a little itty bitty titty help.” She giggled.

Katie’s hands pushed out the bodice material just enough to give a slight illusion of boobage. The image was stunning…at least in my mind. Was this the way I should have looked all along? Was this who I should have been all along?

“Hmmm… Maybe a thirty two a-cup…or b-cup…?”

Katie seemed to whisper to herself. When I finally stopped staring at myself I turned toward her. Though not much shorter than me, Katie was definitely wider…and in all the right places? Now I totally understood what she meant. It was def not her kind of dress.

“Did you buy the clothes you gave me for me?” I watched her eyes closely.

“Well…” She smiled wryly. “The shoes actually were mine but I never wore them. And the thigh highs were mine as well. Can you believe we have the same shoe size? I have huge feet and yours…well…yours are perfect for your height.”

There was that word again; perfect. I still hated it and I couldn’t help but wince when she said it.

“Why did you buy the other things for me?”

“Who said I bought them? Maybe I ripped them off.” Katie snickered.

“Come on…! Please tell me.” I seriously whined.

My emotions were rising again. I pressed on the bandage where I’d made the cut. I wanted to feel something other than what I felt that moment.

“Okay…” Katie reached out and pulled my hand away from the bandage. “But stop doing that. It doesn’t help anyway.”

“Well…?” I gazed at her wide eyed.

“Look… You’re not much of a guy…right?” She didn’t wait for the obvious answer. “And all you have to look forward to is more of what you’ve always gotten which is being totally shitted on by everybody.”

There was no denying what she’d said…so far.

“So… One cutter to another… You need to ease the pain. You’ve spent the afternoon and part of the evening on the other side of the fence…so to speak.” Katie smiled softly. “And all you’ve gotten is what…?”

Staring blankly at Katie, and not really knowing what she expected me to say, I shrugged my shoulders but she simply gazed back at me with a wicked smile.

“Fun…? I had…fun?” I offered in barely a whisper as I gazed at her questioningly.

“And…?” She grinned. “How did you feel?” Her eye brows arched.

“I felt… I feel good.” I had to correct myself. “I feel like…me…but truly like me?”

“Spoken with true confidence...” Katie chuckled. “You feel like the real you. And when you looked in the mirror in the restroom… Who did you really see?”

“What do you mean?” Clueless...!

“Was that Stevie the school douchetard? Or was that Stevie the little hottie?”

“Yeah…” I giggled, blushed, and nodded my head. “I guess I saw myself as a little hottie.”

“Look…” Katie said as she helped me get the dress up and over my head. “What do you say we get you just a few things and some cosmetics of your own? Come over after school every day for one week and get dressed. If you don’t like the way we’re going…you’re going…then we’ll drop it and we can still be friends.”

She handed me the top, which I donned, and then she gave me the mini to try on. I thought about what she said for a moment. Just her company alone would have been more than enough. But the rest of it…the clothes and stuff…was a bit overwhelming…but exciting?

“Where would I keep it all?” I whined just a bit. “I can’t keep it at home for sure. My mom would throw a conniption if she found all of it.”

“Oh… No problem…” Katie grinned as she gazed at me donning the mini skirt. “You can keep your things in the guest bedroom closet. In fact that room even has its own bathroom.”

‘How convenient’ I thought. I pulled up the zipper and tugged the skirt as far down as it would go. That wasn’t very far. The hem ended slightly above mid-thigh! Katie snickered of course. And she made me strut out and walk toward the mirror.

“You are such a fucking trap!” She exclaimed. “Oh… My God…”

“Huh…?” You guessed it. CLUELESS…!!!

“Baby doll… If we cleaned you up and really put an effort into it, you’d have guys begging to kiss your feet! Even your natural walk is so…so fucking femme.” Katie’s eyebrows arched. “It took me a week of pain to learn how to walk in heels. But you…you’re such a hot fucking trap…” She snickered. You’re a natural.”

“Oh God Katie…” I felt panic rising. “I couldn’t do that. I mean…guys would kill me if they ever found out. Anyway, I could never pull it off.” I turned to look in the three-way mirror. “Oh my God…! I could never wear this.” I turned to her. “I don’t know how anyone could wear this. I mean just bending over exposes…everything.”

“That’s the whole point sweet heart. You have to show them your cookies if you want to get their ice cream.” Katie laughed.

“Katie…!” I can’t believe I actually stamped my foot and whined.

“Okay… We’ll nuke the skirt…for now.” She smirked. “So maybe you need to grow into it? But you really look dope in that dress. Let’s find you a pair of shoes for you; maybe two pair.”

“But Katie…” I nearly cried. “I don’t have any money to buy this.”

“Don’t worry baby doll. I’ve got this.”

Katie wound up getting more than just ‘this’. We did what she called a minor ‘haul’. We got three pairs of round toes, kitten heeled pumps. One pair was in metallic rose gold. Another was a suede maroon color almost the same shade as the dress. And she insisted I get a pair of heels in basic black because even though I was a ‘hot trap’, whatever that was, and as she put it, I was still a ‘basic bitch’?

Then we dove into the cosmetic sea know as Sephora. I was amazed at everything I my eyes took in. From the vast array of palettes to the even just as varied styles of brushes and other tools to the never-ending shades of lipsticks, I was stunned by so many colors, sizes, and shapes of…everything. Katie didn’t need to bother me in choosing anything. I wouldn’t have known where to begin anyway.

“Hey sweetie pie… Check out that guy’s package.” Katie gleefully chirped.

We were on our way out of Sephora with bags full of cosmetics, tools and brushes, and a perfume I liked when these two guys came to her attention.

“His what…?”

“Look at his crotch.” Katie whispered excitedly. “Either that’s a huge fucking zucchini in his pants or he’s really excited to see us.” She giggled.

“Oh my God…! Katie…!” I would have put my hand to my mouth if I wasn’t carrying two bags.

“What…!” Katie grinned wickedly. Quickly gazing at me she glanced back toward the guy. “He’s also pretty fucking cute.” Katie craned her head around as we passed them by. “Fuck…! He has a really nice hard looking butt. I bet when he thrusts you can feel your teeth rattle.” She snickered and smiled most lewdly. “I could come just watching that ass pump him into me.”

“Really Katie…” I sighed. “What’s it like anyway?”

“What…? Fucking…?” She didn’t even glance at me.

“No…! You know?” I blushed and grinned.

Now Katie gazed at me as we walked.

“You mean coming…like in an orgasm?” Katie stared wide-eyed at me.

“Yeah…” I said as she giggled.

“It’s like the world exploding and everything around you disappears. Your entire being vibrates and then wham! It’s like being reborn.”

“Well that doesn’t sound very good.” I don’t know what I imagined but that wasn’t it.

“It’s the most amazing feeling ever. It feels so good you don’t want it to stop.” Katie grinned lewdly.

Katie was also getting dreamy eyed as she searched for adjectives.

“It sometimes happens when the guy I’m with is really into the entire sex thing…you know? If he isn’t, I have to fake it; which is not all that hard. It’s way more fun with another girl though. I can orgasm forever but as soon as a guy comes, it’s like…‘Okay…see you and close the door behind you went you leave’.” She laughed. “But with another girl…? We can both orgasm for hours…days!”

I still had no idea of what she meant and I envied her experiences. Okay… So I’d sometimes drip a little when a really hot guy walked past and I watched him move. And sometimes I’d even get that little tingle? But no explosion or rebirth ever happened.

“You’ve never had one, have you?” Katie asked softly.

“No…” I sighed sadly.

“We def have to change that. Not tonight… But one of these nights...”

Katie spoke as the valet went to get her car. She discreetly handed him some money and he helped us get all the stuff Katie purchased for me into the car. It didn’t seem like much until the bags filled her very small back seat. We got in, once again she did that door thingy for me, and in no time at all we were back in Katie’s apartment.

We dumped all the things out onto the guest bedroom’s bed. Katie brought a few hangers out and we both began to remove tags and hang my new things up in the closet. As we did, Katie opened the small bottle of scent I got, something a little spicy, and gave each garment one spray.

“It’s your signature scent baby doll. Bath in it…sort of...” She said.

We put my new selection of cosmetics in her bathroom. That would now become my classroom in the use and application of color. Katie insisted I get colors that were cool and more toward the berry and earth shades. She said my eyes and lips would really pop against my very pale and pasty complexion.

After changing back into me…my horrid ‘boy clothes’…she showed me how to remove all the makeup. I felt it a shame to undo all her hard work. But there was no way I could walk into the house and have mom see it on me.

After using several special scented wipes, Katie had me wash my face with some special soap and then apply this weird clear semi-liquid stuff to my skin. It smelled nice enough but felt very cool and weird as it dried. We finished with a lovely cool feeling cream to keep my skin soft and moisturized.

With only the scent of her face treatment to remind me of where I’d been…not metaphysically speaking…we went back down to her car so that she could drive me home. Sadness overcame me along with the rough feeling of the ‘boy’ shorts I now wore. This was a reminder of just how natural and comfortable I felt whilst dressed earlier.

When we pulled up to my house I could see that mom was home. Katie drove into the driveway and parked alongside mom’s Beemer. As she got out and closed the car door I glanced at her questioningly. She grinned back at me.

“Your mom is going to want to know who you’re hanging with. This’ll make it easier when you get her to let you sleep over. Then we’ll really have a totally dope randomly wicked time.” She snickered. “Oh… By the way...! We need to get your ears pierced.” Katie said as she pulled gently on one of her earrings. “Then we can make you really sparkle.”

“What…?” I felt a wee bit faint at the thought of being...pierced? “She’ll never go for it.”

“Don’t worry baby doll.” Katie grinned as she walked around her car and took my hand. “Just leave that to me.”

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Comments

I didn’t need guidance.

Andrea Lena's picture

I needed to simply be left alone.

“So what do I do? I just want to fit in. I’m really tired of being the freak of the week every week.”

Raw...painful...real!

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

never was a cutter

but I understand the impulse.

DogSig.png

The Sexiest Thing

joannebarbarella's picture

That I've read in ages. Hot doesn't even cut it.

This I love

Alice-s's picture

Ok so I self harmed where it didn't show, but dam that was really spot on. I can't wait to read more