Tea with True North

I was planning my next crime when I got a call, from a superhero, of all people.

True North was almost a stereotype of a Canadian - unfailingly polite, but a stickler for law and order.

I was so shocked by what he asked me - to meet him for tea and conversation - that I forgot to be shocked about how he knew my number.

So I said yes, we arranged a time, and he took me to his arctic base.

The tea was lovely and the treats delicious, but afterward we got down to what he wanted to talk about.

"I'm getting married." He said.

"Congratulations" I replied, "Is it to Arctic Princess? The papers like to speculate about you two."

"No, she really is just a friend. The person I'm marrying is a civilian - and a guy."

I took that in while taking a sip of tea, I couldn't say I was shocked that True North was gay, in fact I was more surprised he wasn't marrying a cape.

"Well, I appreciate you trusting me with this, TN" I replied, "But why me?"

"I want you to switch sides, at least for a while."

"Wait, what?" I sputtered, "You want me to join the good guys?"

"Hear me out" He replied, "I want to be able to step back for a bit, have an actual honeymoon, but I don't want Arctic Princess to be stuck trying to do the work of two heroes."

"And I've watched video of all your crimes," He continued, "You are always careful to avoid casualties and the businesses you target are always known for their corruption. That's why I figured you'd might be willing to take up my offer."

I sighed, and said, "I guess you never learned why I do what I do. I need money, lots of it, for a surgery I want done, and thanks to Canadians electing a Conservatives government, its not covered."

He sat for a moment, and then he said, "There is only one procedure that the government has taken off the list recently. You're . . . transgender."

"Got it in one." I replied.

"Which explains why the businesses you target are also known for being very much anti-LGBT, and anti trans in particular."

"Yeah, I like the idea of those buggers being the ones who 'pay' for my transition"

He sat and thought for several minutes, and then he smiled, and said, "What if I had a way to get your surgery done without you paying?"

"How could you do that?" I asked.

"I'm . . . good friends with the American hero, The Surgeon General. He really is a doctor, you know, and I bet he could do it as a favor for me"

I pondered that, and then he continued, "And I might have an idea of how you could drive the anti-trans idiots crazy and be a hero."

I looked at him hard, and realized I'd seriously underestimated him.

And despite myself, I found myself trusting him.

"Okay hero," I told him, "I'm in."

So it came to pass that Canada had a new heroine, and one who was out as a trans woman besides.

And I'm having as much fun as I did as a villain . . .

End