Crystal Friend — Chapter 1

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Crystal Friend

Chapter 1

By Mildred Ki'Lya

 

On her bed was sitting a small creature, about four inches tall, with marvellous green wings. She must have been there for a minute, looking in amazement for the little creature spoke

“So, have you decided to stand up here for the whole night?”


Version 2.3 – Thanks to Puddintane and stanman63 for correcting my mistakes

Warning: this is the first ever story I wrote, and English is not my native language, so be indulgent, please. If you find errors, don't hesitate to point them to me though.


 

Ashley came back from school. It was a long day, and she didn't relinquished the idea of coming home and relaxing a bit. “Hi mum, it's me” was what she said when she entered the house she shared with her parents and her little brother. She also had a sister, but at the age of 21, you generally don't stay with your parents, you live by yourself. At least, that's what you do when you study far from home.

Entering her room, she first noticed a strange object on her bed. It was a little ball, of the purest white. It seemed fragile, as if it was sentient. It looked like it should be taken care of, not just disposed of offhandedly. Wondering what it was, she went through her clothes to dress a bit more comfortably. The weather was warm and she would be more comfortable with a light skirt and top. Returning to her bed, where the strange object still was there. Delicately, she took it to put it to a side of the bed.

Life was OK so far. Not that great, but she could manage. Her biggest concern was that one day her body would betray her and she would no longer be able to be a regular girl at school. She deeply longed to find a solution to that problem. If only she could have been born a girl, but she knew it wasn't the case. She had heard of people like her in the crystal library, and she knew, there was a possibility to get her body to behave as she wanted it to, but, she hadn't found much more information. The crystal she had used at school wouldn't let her find more specific information. Probably, the school had limited its usage.

She knew crystals could do almost anything. She knew it was the key to her problem, but she didn't knew how to use them properly. It was some kind of secret only shared among great magicians. She wanted to become one of them, but it would take years, and her body would probably have been wasted by that time. Like many evenings, she was lying on her bed, thinking of her life, and sadness filled her. Mind you, crystals made it possible to have cars, telephones and many of the advanced technology. It could even heal people, a doctor would program a crystal just as needed, and by carrying it around, you healed.

Wrapped up in her thoughts, she just drifted off to sleep.

“Ashley“

It was her mother, Eryn

“Sweetie, you don't want to sleep through dinner, do you?”

Realizing that she was asleep for too long now, she composed herself, “Excuse me, Mum, I was so tired, I couldn't help it.”

“It's OK, just have dinner with us, would you? I know your life isn't always that easy, but life has to go on. I'm sure you'll find a way in time, just keep the faith.”

“I'll try.”

“Don't just try, and you know it, now come”

She followed her mother downstairs in the kitchen. Usually, she would help her mother a bit, but not today. The dinner was uneventful, her brother as always teasing her, in a good kind of way. He cared about her but was afraid to let it show, or so she thought.

Their dinner finished, everyone helped to clean everything up, and when that was done Ashley came back to her room. Up the stairs, Ashley was in awe of what she had found. On her bed, was sitting a small creature, about four inches tall, with marvelous green wings. She must have been standing there for over a minute, looking in amazement when the little creature spoke.

“So, have you decided to stand up here for the whole night?”

Realizing where she was, she entered the room “But ... who are you, I mean ... what are you doing here?”

“It isn't usual finding someone like me here, is it?”

“No, not really.”

“By the way, I'm Meryl, you are...?”

“Ashley.”

“You're probably wondering what I am doing here. All I can tell you is that there is a good reason.”

“You mean you don't know why you came here?”

“Haven't you seen my egg?”

“It was ... and you ...”

“Yes.”

“Oh, sorry, I have to admit, it's the first time I met someone like you.”

“I'm not that different, you know” replied Meryl. And, in less time than needed for blinking, Meryl took a human form. Looking around 14 years old, with the same blond hair and green eyes she had in her pixie form. “Do I look more normal now?” she then asked.

Ashley, in shock, sat on her bed next to Meryl. Trying to start a conversation, Ashley questioned, “How do you do that?”

“For me, it's like breathing,” she replied, “there is no great secret here, if you are like me.”

“I guess.” That was all Ashley was able to say at that point.

They remained silent for a moment more, sitting on the bed next to one another, having nothing to say. Ashley was recovering from the shock she had just gone through. Believing, as she did, that magical creatures existed, was one thing. Having one of those creatures in your bedroom talking to you was a completely different matter.

“Would you help me?” Meryl suddenly asked after a few minutes.

“Probably. How can I help you?” replied Ashley with a bit more confidence than before.

“You know, I just came to this world, and I am new to all of this as well. I may instinctively know a few things, but I'm a real novice otherwise. I don't know my way around here, and have no idea where to live.”

“Sure, but you know, I have to attend school during the day, and I can hardly be seen with a flying little creature around me. I don't think everyone would accept that. So, what do we do?”

“Well, I could attend school with you. What do you think?”

“I think I can handle that, you know, I just happen to know a bit of magic.” With that, Meryl miraculously produced some administrative papers that would let her attend school. “I think it would be enough.”

"You know, you'll have to teach me few of your tricks."

“So, you want to be a magician?”

“Kind of,” Ashley grinned, “but would probably take too much time to learn.”

“What do you mean by too much time? Learning takes time, but it's normal. You can't expect to know everything right away, unless you are like me. I could just change you, but I don't really know how. And I don't want to make a mistake.”

“You mean I could be like you?”

“In theory, it's possible,” Meryl answered noncommittally. “So, you haven't answered my question, what's in your mind. I may not be able to read minds, but I know when someone is hiding something. And I can tell there is something huge in there.”

Ashley remained silent, obviously embarrassed. Then, she said “You know, I really wish I could just ...” and stopped, incapable of continuing.

“Whatever it is, it's fine with me.”

“I wish I was a girl.” she said before turning away

“What do you mean, you are, aren't you?”

“No, I mean yes ... well, not completely.”

“That's fine with me, that's hardly a problem, or is it?”

“Problem?” Ashley asked turning back to Meryl. Looking at her, she saw that Meryl told the truth. Nothing like this could prevent her to stay her friend. “Yes it's a problem. I might be a girl now, but what about in a few years. My body is betraying me. If only I could ...” with tears in her eyes, she stopped, unable to finish her sentence.

Looking straight in Ashley's eyes, Meryl spoke: “I don't know how I can help you, but I will, I promise.”

“Thanks.”

“Now, you need to sleep, we'll see how to go from there tomorrow, go now”

Before Ashley could protest, Meryl had already cast a sleeping spell on her.

To Be Continued...


 

Thank you for reading.
Last thing, before you comment (if you ever want to), could you tell me if you think the writing is more UK or US, I don't have much idea myself since I'm French.

Also, I can't tell you when the next chapter will be out, as I have no idea yet.

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Comments

For an English as a second language author this is very good

Plus it promises to be a sentimental TG story and we all need a little happiness in our lives.

I'm from Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, that is 90 miles or not quite 150 KM from Chicago and your English seem fine to me and possibly American flavored.

Please do continue. BC is enriched by diversity and having a French view on life and TG will prove interesting.

By the way, Wisconsin is a British corruption of the French explores/fur trappers name for the region which was something like Ouisconsin. That was their translation of the native peoples name and it means *gathering of the waters*. With all the lakes -- 14000 plus of ten acres or more and two of the Great Lakes -- and streams we have courtesy of the last glacial age it's appropriate.

Welcome to BC.

John in Wauwatosa

P.S. Wow, I finally posted my comment. Something was fouled up earlier and I kept getting this red bar that said if the trouble persisted to contact the administrator. By the way how do we do that here?

P.P.S. You don't need to post the one I tried though the guest account method, thanks gang

John in Wauwatosa

Well,

Thank you for your comment. I'll probably continue, and hopefully, the next chapter will not take too much time. Still, I have no real idea of what to put in the next chapter. I think I'll take the point of view of Meryl for a moment, but I have yet to define her character more. Or I could just tell you what happens when Ashley wakes up.

Also, you might be surprised by the next chapter. I can't tell yet 'cause I don't know, but I have some ideas on the back of my mind ...

You'll see :)

Mildred

Cute story, good start

I didn’t notice the heading said that English was a second language. The dialog between the girls was natural and better than most authors. You either have a natural bent for languages or you have been speaking conversational English with native speakers for many years. I haven’t a clue as to whether your have British or American English background. Baring some accent, you could certainly seem an American.

I await your next posting.

DJ

Nice

Nice to see my work is appreciated. And thank you all (I didn't think this was worth anything at all). To tell the truth, I just posted this chapter quickly before I could change my mind. And I didn't took time to proofread it thoroughly. And by the way, I'm really bad at proofreading myself.

As for learning English, I could say that at first I was really bad at it. But I always was willing to learn and use that wonderful language. So much so that over the years I realized I wasn't that bad. At school, they also tried to make me learn Spanish, but I never really wanted to do so, and never went very far.

Now, after reading stories here for some time, I think I improved myself even more, with more usual words, and some knowledge of the culture.

Thanks,

Mildred

Apologies

I wanted to apologies for the mistakes I made here. I can't believe I made such silly mistakes! I know I'm not very good at proofreading, especially when I'm the author. But thanks to Puddintane and stanman63, I'll be able to hopefully correct those.

Mildred.

You need not apologize

I noticed a few typos. You had fewer errors than many authors. I can’t help, I am a terrible writer myself. But there are many editors that at the site that will help with proofreading.

Keep on writing.

Wizard!

I just finished reading a court deposition written by an Oklahoma native that wasn't nearly as well written as your story. Yes, there are a few flaws but you have a better grasp than many for whom English is their first language. (Fortunately for the guy that wrote the deposition, the facts are on his side, what he wrote wouldn't have helped his case a bit.)

You've got a nice start here, keep up the good work!

M

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

Crystal Friend great first story.

RAMI

Mildred, for a first attempt at a story, and English not being your native language this story is great. There are many stories on this site written by native speakers that are not that well done.

I think you have combined both British and American English. Mum for example is not a normal American usage, but more British.

I am not trying to be critical, but since you asked, there is an awkward usage in the first line.
From the context "didn't relinquish" is not clear or make sense. a better phrase might be: "It had been a long day, and she relished the idea of coming home and relaxing a bit."

Please continue and post more stories.

Rami

RAMI

Crystal Friend

Mildred; For not being your native language you did real well, It sounds a little mix of both the English and American language and I thought it was great and looking forward to more and a great start to a story. As reading alot of stories here like Angharad, her bike series you almost miss the mix of language as I have gotten use to those that are from England/British Isle that I like your writing. Richard

Richard

Continuing — Chapter 2

Hi,

Thanks again for all your comments, really appreciated :) As for the language, people always tell me that I'm good at it, but I don't think I'm as good as a native speaker yet. I don't think that I have as much vocabulary (even if it's increasing) and I know there are expressions I understand (mostly because of the context) but I don't know them well enough to use them. But well ...

As for the next chapter, I thought it would be quick to come (this one was) but some parts were not as easy, and since Sunday, I don't have much time to work on it. So, I got the first part right on Sunday I think, but since then, nothing happened. If I'm not too tried, I might try to continue tonight, but I might not come very far.

And, I was thinking, if someone is interested by the story and want to proofread it, I'd be glad to have someone who can correct me :)

More coming soon.

Millie

Interesting Concept

I think your story has a very good begining. Since I did not detect any out and out "English" terms or usage, I would draw the conclusion that it is "American." Please continue this story as I am sure it will be very interesting.
'Sika

Votre Anglais est trez bon !

Gosh, that was a really lovely tale. I wish I could write in Francais like you can in Anglais!

I hope you will write more please, to this story. The beginning was wonderful.

Briar

Briar