Two Sides of the Coin 2

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Two Sides of the Coin (Part 2)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's note: Well that date we mentioned last time finally happens, we also discover what piqued Owen's interest and we learn a little more of our heroine's crazy, heartbreaking past. Her world is changing faster and becoming more crowded on this side of the globe...

***

Back in LA, I didn't have any luck with men. I had more luck with boys, well boy, but my next-door neighbor Kate said dating boys wasn't a good idea. It was about two years ago that she called me and came up with this plan. LA was filled with girls like me, LA was filled with men. She introduced me to her husband's cousin, he was a man.

"Jacob this is Sabrina, my favorite neighbor."

He took my hand, I had long dark red nails, they were too long for a first date. "Nice to meet you. You have beautiful nails."

Kate had a big extended family, she said she had lots of relatives that I could meet and date. She wanted me to meet Jacob first, she wanted me to become part of her family. "Jacob take Sabrina to Rosa's in Malibu, she will love it." She smiled at me, she smiled at him, we said goodbye to her husband, her son, her daughter, and even her dog Pal. Everyone now knew that their semi-male neighbor wore dresses, and made a very convincing young woman. Pal was the only one who was sorry to see me leave.

"Kate says you have the best garage sales."

"I do? Maybe. I write for catalogs, I have so many weird gadgets and useless things in my garage."

"Maybe you can show me later."

So we went to Rosa's, my first date with an older man. He was nice but he didn't find the clientele of the restaurant too comforting. We found out it was owned by a transgender couple, they were nice, they had great taste in their decor. I noticed that most of the tables were taken up by various stripes in the rainbow, I liked it very much. It made me very relaxed, Kate picked the perfect place. The hostess even complimented my dress and nails and I felt content for the rest of the evening. They picked out a rosé from a non-binary-owned winery, served us oysters that were caught by a queer fisherman, brought out paella from a family recipe from Valencia, Spain.

"Thank you, the food was wonderful," I told the two hosts, they gave us dessert to take home, they told us to come back. I came back alone a week later, I visited them all the time while I was still in California. They made the best paella, they made the most wonderful mojitos, better than mine.

We went back to the house, it wasn't too late, I wasn't going to have him come in though, I was way too nervous and he was way too aggressive. He came in anyway, I thought he wanted to see my useless things.

"Kate tells me you are new to the spectrum, I like that." Jacob was looking at my boobs and then he focused on the books on my shelves, my pictures on the walls. He seemed to disapprove of some of them.

I didn't really understand him talking about the spectrum, was that a thing? I thought the spectrum had something to do with Aspergers and autism. I knew the rainbow was a thing but I tried not to pay too much attention to details. I felt I didn't fit in too easily. When I was a girl I liked boys, when I was a boy I liked girls.

"New? I don't think so. I have been dressing like a girl since I was a boy."

He turned around and he laughed, he shook his head. "Come on, YOU were never a boy." He took my hand, with my long red nails. I was wearing a very short teal dress with a full skirt. The hem came just above my knees, it showed off my silky sheer nude stockings. My black bra was very visible underneath. I had on teal four-inch heels and a matching teal bag over my shoulder. My makeup and hair were perfect. I didn't think I looked like I was part of the rainbow, I always thought I looked, and especially felt, like a woman. Just a regular woman from the neighborhood, wearing a short full dress and high heels.

He put his arms around me, cupping my ass, and pulled me to him a little too roughly. He started to kiss me, his tongue went right into my mouth, I wasn't ready for it, he held me very tight. I had been with a male before, I knew they were generally aggressive, generally handsy. This one's hands made their way down to my ass again, he squeezed my cheeks under my dress and pulled me into his body even tighter.

"Um, Jacob, maybe we should call it a night. It's getting late."

He stopped his onslaught of my body as I pulled away from him. He held my hand as I tried to lead him to the front door. Show the world there was someone in my foyer who was overstaying his welcome.

"Mmm, you are quite hot for someone who isn't even a real girl." He looked at me and then kissed between my breasts. I didn't like that he said that, it didn't seem nice. You should never, ever question someone's gender. In my heart and my home, I was a real girl. Part of me didn't want to be reminded. Sometimes if I closed my eyes long enough I became a real female, with all the correct working parts, all the moving parts that boys love. I couldn't close my eyes now, his hands were cupping my breasts, he was feeding them into his mouth, he was pulling down the front of my dress and bra, he was sucking my real nipples. He wasn't turning me on.

I started to get nervous, my hands began to shake. I had to get him out of here. I got on my knees and I pushed him against my front door. The people on the street would see the top half of a man from the outside, through my half window. "Now this is more like it. I knew you wanted some dick to get that crappy taste of that restaurant out of your system."

I stopped unzipping him. "The restaurant was lovely, that was the only good part of the night." I pulled down his pants, his briefs, his cock was hard and I started to play with it in my hands. I wanted him to cum and then leave, simple as that. I had sucked cock before, I was good at it and I liked it very much, but it was better sucking someone that I liked, generally had feelings for.

"Ahh," He breathed out as I took his hard cock into my mouth, through my tight lips. He didn't know that this was the last time I would be intimate with him. I knew men were easier to deal with after they had cum, after they had their orgasm. Me? I needed it to build up, I loved being on edge the entire time I was with a man. Sometimes I didn't even get hard but I would still be excited, I would still leak inside my panties. Even if the man wasn't that nice to me, like now.

He grabbed my hair, "Don't do that." I told him. He grabbed my ears. "What are you doing?"

"What?"

I stopped sucking and waited until he put his hands behind himself against the wall. "Much better."

I went and took him into my lips again, I knew how to make a man cum, I took a course in college. I put pressure on his cock and played with his balls as his cock slipped in and out of me. I would take him to the back of my throat and suck and swirl, I would then let him slide out with a plop. He was loving it, he was saying nice things about my lips, my hair, he was saying nasty things about my gender and the people we met at the restaurant. I ramped up my sucking, I wanted him to finish. I wanted him to be quiet, to cum, then leave, in that order.

He made a loud grunt, his cock popped from my mouth. I let him cum on my dress, I wouldn't take his sperm into my mouth, he would be bitter. I only swallowed cum from men that I liked, that were nice to me, that I was planning on seeing again. Jacob laughed at all the cum he sprayed on my teal dress. I smiled because I knew he wouldn't want a kiss goodnight. I let him out quickly and locked the door. I never saw him again, though Kate begged me constantly. She was disappointed in me, she said I wasn't trying. She said we could become related, we could hang out at family get-togethers. I always told her I wish I had a big family, little ones running around playing, coloring. Big ones laughing, drinking, telling secrets, but now it wouldn't be worth it.

For the next three weeks, she sent five other relatives to my front door. I was always beautiful, always in my best dress and heels. I was always shattered by their disrespect by the end of the night, I didn't really understand it. Four of the five men didn't even take me out, they made me serve them drinks, made me sit close to them on the couch. Four more men that I didn't really like and one that was fine. Five older men that I didn't have anything in common with at all. I had to give head to four of them because they heard about me, heard about me from Jacob, then the next one, then the one after that, it was a never-ending circle. The last one was nice but I was done, I locked the door. I yelled into my dark room.

"I'm done!" I wanted the world to understand right away.

Kate called, now she was angry, she went through all of her single male relatives. They all wanted to see me again, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't even tell her, it hurt me too much. It made me so embarrassed, I thought maybe it was me, I was doing something to provoke all of these horny men. Why didn't they take me somewhere, be nice to me for one night, I would have went out with them again.

I had to talk to someone, I called Uncle Creme and unfortunately, he was seeing my mother again, he put her on the phone.

"I went to the doctor" My mother started talking loud, she was tipsy.

"That's nice."

"Nice? Not nice, I had a pain, a shooting friggin' pain. Right here!"

I was assuming she was pointing at something. "Okay goodnight, nice talking to the two of you." I couldn't wait to get off the line, hearing her voice was making me nauseous. I wanted to take a long shower as I did after every one of these awful dates. Before bed I brushed my teeth twice, I rinsed my mouth with my mint and lime mouthwash, I forgot they all existed, but my mother didn't want to get off the phone, she wanted to talk. This was a first.

"And then I talked to Creme and he told me, why didn't YOU tell me? My own son, my own daughter, come on." I guess she heard about all those papers that I signed.

***

We were looking at my bedroom wall, most of it was a mirror, but the rest wasn't.

"It's just pieces of my past." I made him kiss me again, I rubbed my breasts against his body, I held him around the neck. I didn't want to discuss the pictures on my wall. Owen was pointing to one, in particular, it included me as a male, the only one. Me with Miranda, a woman from my past, the picture was old, it was from our high school graduation. A girl associated with my mother. I just shrugged, "Someone I used to be, with someone I used to know." I wanted him to forget about the pictures. I wanted him to think about my breasts, the present, and the upcoming future.

I let him look, there were eight pictures on my wall, all friends, I had no family, definitely none of my mother.

"These are all from California?"

"Mmm-mmm." I put my arms around his waist, my chin against his arm, while he investigated. I loved having a man in my bedroom, this was my first time, ever. I loved thinking that tonight while lying in bed I would be able to smell his aftershave, his scent. Part of me loved that he was interested in my things, my past. I was a woman in every picture on my wall but that one. I slid my hand down to his manhood, I was just checking, making sure it was comfortable in his briefs and pants. I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. He started to get harder as I rubbed, as I played with it. I could tell he was enjoying the pictures and my fingers, my long nails ticking him now inside his trousers, his boxers.

He spun around, he was looking at my dark pink lips. "Sabrina, we will never get to dinner, we have a reservation."

"I guess that means we will have to be quick." I made a face as he kissed me again. I didn't expect this to happen so fast. I was thinking it would happen when he dropped me off, I would invite him in, he would treat me with respect, I would let him take full advantage.

"Or I can make a call and tell them we will be late." I stopped and looked at him, I had a crooked smile on my face then I bit my lip, I was hoping he thought I was cute, I was hoping he forgot about the pictures on my walls. He put a finger on my nose, my lips, he smiled. He made a call as I opened his pants, put my hand in his boxers. I wouldn't let him kiss me as I played with his cock, I wanted him to watch me, linger on my larger than normal pink lips, my longer darker eyelashes, my longer nails now rubbing his chest, searching for a nipple. His cock was big and hard, I had my one whole hand surrounding it, slightly pumping as he continued to watch me.

"Owen, is it my smile that is making you hard, or is it my hand?" I gave him a sweet grin, I didn't even need an answer, I was trying to be cute.

He kissed me on the cheek. "Your smile. Maybe even your eyes, you are so beautiful. I can't believe it took you so long to tell me your name." Then I finally let him kiss me again. I pushed his cock with my palm as we made out in my room surrounded by acquaintances and books about real life. I was having a real-life moment with a real-life man. I started to rub, he was breathing heavily, he was having trouble keeping his tongue in my mouth. I had a perfect grip on his manhood, I pumped and he started to cum, his orgasm was long, I rubbed the whole time he shot cum onto his shirt. I then surprisingly started to cum myself, I pressed my 'pussy' against him, right next to his crotch, he was so tall, and I ground into his hip. I pushed my body into him as he kissed my hair, my ears, I felt myself cum into my panties. I slipped my hand with my long nails down to my crotch and I rubbed, I came for so long. We kissed again, we could have stayed like this all night.

"Owen, I loved that." I cooed, wiping the whiteness from his shirt.

"Me too."

"Um, Owen I think I'm starving."

"Me too," He laughed, we cleaned up together, I went for my first ride in his car.

*

I was glad he didn't ask any specific questions about the pictures on my walls. I am sure one day he will know everything, I am sure my stories will come trickling out. All about the garage sales, work, you know just stuff.

"I haven't been out on a proper date in a long time." He said as he held my hand, slightly shaking it.

For the first time in my life, I felt I was an adult on a date. I was an adult who owned 'her' own home, had her own investments, her own past histories, and was now going out to dinner with a man from Martinsville. Twenty-seven was a perfect age to feel like an adult, a grown-up. I decided I was finally ready to show this part of the state the genuine part of me, I would get to act like myself with a man I could easily fall in love with.

Unfortunately, the reality of the night started seeping into me. The closer we got to the business part of Somerville, the more nervous I became. It reminded me of months ago investigating the neighborhood. Plus my town was relatively quiet, but Somerville, on a Saturday, well that was something completely different. It was one long block of antique stores, boutiques, short office buildings, and restaurants. I was thinking, maybe hanging out on Kane's rock wasn't such a boring thing, after all, I wish I was on top of it now in my most revealing lingerie and my seven-inch 'Pleasers,' pushing against his hard manhood with my heel. He would never want to leave.

We pulled into a lot, he opened my door and helped me out. I closed my eyes, I wasn't anxious even though we had a reservation, even though we were so late. I decided I was going to enjoy myself, and I loved that I had made him cum. I loved that I still had his salty taste in my mouth. I loved holding his hand as we entered the Italian restaurant.

"Owen, hi!" An older woman came over and hugged him, she hugged me, she seemed quite happy to see a familiar face.

"Milly, this is my friend Sabrina, she's the one who bought the Morrison house."

She took my hand, she investigated my nails. "I heard someone moved in, you have to invite me over to spruce up your garden, the Morrison's had no green thumbs at all. Ha. Not like me and Owen."

The restaurant was crowded, Milly put us next to a table of over a dozen people, beautiful people, all dressed for a night out. I immediately felt outside of my element. I could look fine if I was by myself, but next to attractive women you would see all my exaggerated flaws, sense my unwanted gender. We sat and they all said hello, it was nice, I tried to relax, I should be doing this more often anyway. Didn't I just decide I was an adult?

We ordered wine, we ordered appetizers, then pasta, but the staff brought over a huge cake instead. "Happy engagement you two." He said as he and another waiter helped hold up the three-tiered cake. My eyes were wide, I could tell the other customers in the restaurant were watching us.

"Um, Ray, over here." A man was talking, the table next to us was laughing, he made a mistake. Owen loved it, he joked about it until our meal came.

"Here you go," Milly brought over dinner, she then put a bottle of champagne on the table. "And this is to celebrate your little engagement, it's from the next table." She smiled, and she giggled. She poured and Owen and I lifted our glasses to them. I felt myself blush, then Milly put her hand on my shoulder and whispered. "That was nice of them, they said they were sorry, they didn't mean to embarrass you two." And I looked at her, I WAS embarrassed but not anymore, but Owen was completely fine.

"Thank you, please thank them again for us."

She winked, she was gone. Owen was in a tremendous mood for the rest of the night. When we finished dinner one of the women at the other table brought us over two pieces of the cake. "Congratulations again, you two." She smiled and we thanked her. There was a little bit of writing on the two pieces of cake, just a little, I liked it, it felt special. I smushed it with my fork for luck.

Owen was watching me, I gave him my cutest smile, my sexiest wink.

"Sabrina I'm engaged."

"Um, really? I am too."

***

I didn't want to tell Owen about my past. I didn't want to tell him about the one picture he was so interested in. I didn't want to tell him about Miranda. But I did. I told him as we enjoyed our engagement cake and expresso.

"Miranda? Is she the one in the picture?"

"Mmm-mmm. My mother sort of forced her on me. Well, we started dating in high school, we were together for a couple of years, it was great at first, we lost our virginity to each other." I whispered. "She gave me my first blow job the night of our graduation." I shrugged, "I figured I should tell you before our relationship becomes serious-er, if that's even a word." I smiled thinking maybe the engagement cake will be for us and not a neighboring table soon too. "Miranda was a little tough, she was rough around the edges, very rough, a little loud, got me in a little trouble with others. But, it was okay, I persevered. At the time I didn't mind."

I finished my expresso and started drinking the warm Champagne.

"After my twentieth birthday my mother told her of my predilection for woman's clothes, she said it was good I was with a woman, I was acting more like a man. But it was bad, it was the worst thing she could have said, it was completely the wrong time. Miranda broke up with me immediately, she then told all of our friends, she said she wasted two and a half years of her life. She screamed, she demanded to meet my female self but I wouldn't show her, my female self did not want to meet her at all." I didn't like talking about Miranda, looking back I realized she was never really that nice to me, she wasn't really nice to anyone. I looked up at Owen, he seemed too invested in my story, I wasn't ready to tell the rest yet. "How about you when did you get engaged?"

"Me? Ahh, well it started about seven years ago, I was probably twenty-six, seven, and I met a woman at the store she wanted soil." Owen's family owned a gardening store, full of plants, flowers, dirt, and green benches. It wasn't too far from the table we were sitting at.

"We got to talking, her name was Faye. She lived a couple of towns over, nearer Staten Island. We went out to dinner, we went to a fair, and a zoo, and we ended up spending all of our time together. Two years later we got engaged. We were engaged for so long. We broke up and got back together. Had to of been five maybe seven, eight times, she was very cranky, but I think I loved her, I felt she could be the one. Then one day she left for good. She was mad, she hated my town, my family. It was about a year and a half ago, I assumed she was gonna come back like she usually did, I waited, but that was it. Ya know, she would never fully commit, she would never move into my house. My father bought the house in Martinsville, it was perfect for us, for her." He shrugged, he rubbed his eyes.

"You don't see her anymore?"

"Um, no I haven't seen her since that day she left. She calls, she's very cryptic and persuasive." He shrugged.

"Do you miss her?"

"Do you miss Miranda?"

I looked at him. I would have to tell him the rest of the story soon. "I don't miss her at all, at the end of our relationship she was very toxic to me, being with her made me so anxious. I would never have been able to live with her. Then after college, I moved, I lived on my own. I had to get away from my mother and my memory of Miranda."

"This was in LA?"

"Mmm." I finished the champagne, it felt good to get this story out of my system and into the open. It felt good that he was interested. He was holding my hand, my long nails made me surprisingly relaxed. I could feel he was empathetic with every squeeze.

I looked up, the engagement party was still going strong, the restaurant was emptying but I still whispered. "I went through this crazy phase where I dated a lot." I looked at him, I gave him a slight smile, I would have to tell him more about myself and I was a little scared. I wasn't used to sharing like this, sharing with someone I might be falling in love with. "All men and none of them worked out. I would have wanted them to, but they didn't. Not one of them wanted a relationship, not one of them would sit on my stoop, sit in the park, relax and just talk."

"So what did you do?"

"Well, on the weekends I got my things together for garage sales, I was friends with the neighbors, I kept myself busy. I constantly cleaned the house, or I tried on every piece of clothing I had. I was trying to keep my mind occupied. Then I made a mistake, I called one of my uncles and he handed the phone to my mother. I never talked to her anymore, she didn't even know where I lived. Then a couple of days later she showed up at my house with Miranda, with Miranda's mother, with Miranda's suitcase, with boxes of her belongings. I hadn't seen any of them in so long, my mother said she ran into her at the doctor's office. I was wearing the tightest denim dress I owned, I had on my tallest heels and my hair was full of curls, I wasn't planning on visitors."

"And they just showed up?"

"Out of the blue. Miranda made me change, she was laughing at my voice, my clothes, my walk. I now had a roommate. She took over my bedroom, the one I used when I was presenting feminine. All my things were now in the kitchen. The mothers never saw me, they never came in, they never said anything. They dropped her off and left."

"Really? How long ago?"

"Ah, last May." I tried to get comfortable again, this was the part I didn't want to tell. "Well, um, then Miranda suddenly became very needy, even nice. For months she would cook, she would sometimes shop, it was weird it was out of the ordinary. Then I came home and she was on the living room floor, she couldn't move. I brought her into the bedroom and called an ambulance and the two useless mothers. The next night in the hospital Miranda told me she was sick, she was dying and I didn't believe her. I went home to the empty house and she came back in a couple of days. Soon she did nothing but yell at me, I didn't talk to her for weeks, I didn't even come home some nights. I stayed at work or in an old office I used to sometimes live in. Then I had a plan, I was going to make her leave. I called one of my Uncles, they knew some guy an enforcer, he knew some others. We were all set to get her out of the house, I wanted to be by myself again, enjoy my time away from my mother. And then I saw her, with her oxygen tank, her intravenous injections, her nurse. I thanked the men and they left."

"So she wasn't lying, she didn't fake it for sympathy."

"No. For the next three weeks, I tried to be nicer to her, she suddenly wanted to see me dressed up in her clothes, she wanted to see me as her twin, and I finally relented. She wanted to get engaged to me as a girl. Part of me thought it was nice, she was accepting. So we did, even though I knew it meant nothing, I was doing this because she was sick. She called her family, her mother, she called mine. I bought two rings and we wore them all the time, though she never left the bedroom now. Her mother started coming by and saw me in a dress and heels for the first time, but Miranda lied and said I was one of her nurses, it was weird, I didn't like the lying. She told her mother her fiance was never home, he was always out or working and her mother somehow believed her."

"So she was dying in the house? Did you take care of her?"

"A little, she had the nurse almost full-time, she even slept over, I had to give her my other bedroom, I slept on the couch for a month. Sometimes Miranda would make me sit next to her bed all dressed up in her clothes, she had such terrible taste and I hated her scent. Then she wanted me to wear her perfume, her deodorant, her sanitary pads, and even her underwear and I did. Everything she didn't or couldn't wear anymore. I didn't like it, I thought it was weird, I thought she was just trying to tease me, but I did whatever she asked me."

I closed my eyes. "Then her mother called and said, she probably wouldn't last through the summer, I felt guilty."

Owen held my hand even tighter, I felt a hardness in my chest.

"Ugh... I then asked her if she wanted to get married, you know before she got worse, and she laughed, it was the first time she had a smile on her face in months. She suddenly got so angry, she knocked down the little table next to her, she was trying to scream at me but she had no breath. I didn't even know why, I did everything I could for her. She laughed again saying she would never marry someone like me, she said she couldn't believe I did everything she asked. She told me I was ridiculous. She yelled, she cursed. Then she called me a bunch of derogatory names, I was amazed she was so nasty. She had become the old Miranda so quickly. She screamed and I called for the nurse, they both chased me out. Miranda died three days later. I was only relieved she and the nurse were finally out of the house."

"You like living alone?"

"Not really, but I certainly wasn't missing her, she didn't change. I thought she did but she was still nasty, nastier. I ended up paying for her funeral, I paid for almost everything even the nurse. Her mother just couldn't be bothered." I shook my head I was now exhausted, the party next to us was done, the restaurant was getting ready to close. "I couldn't go back into that bedroom, I didn't even want to live in the house anymore, I needed to get out of LA. I wanted a change."

The next week I had my last garage sale. I sold all of my furniture and items from the catalogs. I sold everything of Miranda's, and the little that was left I gave to Kate next door and to her incompatible male relatives. I called Uncle Creme. The house was sold in a week, I was on a plane in a month, and Martinsville was waiting for me.

We finished the warm champagne. We said goodnight to Milly.

***

"So both of us are technically still engaged." Owen was holding my hand, we were window shopping, I wanted to forget about the two forgettable women.

"I guess."

"It's good we have those two women in our past, it makes us better people, it gives us a little strength, a little more character, don't you think?"

"I guess, again."

"Heh, let's not talk about them ever again." He smiled and he picked me up, surprising me. My legs were in his arms, my hand was on his chest and my arm was around his neck holding on for dear life. "Come on let's go."

He carried me through the lit-up little town, he had a smile on his face, he said hello to everyone he passed, he knew almost all of them by name.

"Um, Owen, how long are you going to hold me?"

"I don't know, but I bet I could carry you home." He laughed, he seemed quite happy with our situation. We were at a corner, several cars were waiting at the stop sign and one of them waved us on, I felt everyone watching us. I remembered when I first moved to New Jersey, being nervous and feeling silly walking around town, and now here I was in a man's arms showing off my legs, crossing in traffic, waving to the men and women in their cars. They were probably wishing they were us, wishing they were on a little trek, a little trail, heading to who knows where.

We came to a wall surrounding a church, we were in the middle of town, the restaurant now about six blocks away. He helped me up and slid between my legs. He started rubbing my silky nylons, he was watching me, watching me smile.

"I could have carried you home if you wanted."

"Okay, maybe next time. It's good practice."

He laughed, "Good practice in case we are surrounded by mud and rushing water and I don't want you to get your shoes muddy?"

"Mmm-mmm, would you let me get mud on my heels?"

I stretched out my legs and he moved back, he took my heels into his hands. He watched me, then kissed my knees, my thighs. He moved closer to me and kissed my lips. We made out on a wall outside of a church, it felt very similar to being on a rock, our rock. He released himself from my mouth slowly, "I would never let that happen. You can trust me. I'm considerate, ask anyone."

"Anyone?"

"Yup."

So I did. The town was pretty busy for a Saturday night, date night, and a cute blonde couple was walking toward us. They were holding hands, they were holding shopping bags, they were watching me watch them. "Excuse me?"

They walked over to us, I was leaning into Owen, my arms around him. "Hi,"

The woman smiled as she got closer. "Oh hi, I know you. You always look so familiar to me and you always promise to pick up my kids from school."

"Ha, I do, whenever you want, just call, I'm easy like that."

And we laughed, and we talked for quite a while, I forgot why I even called them over. I couldn't believe I called someone over to talk to them in the first place. They told us they went to the Greek place, we told them we went out for Italian and almost attended an engagement party. I showed the remnants of the cake on my dress. We laughed some more it was nice. We finally introduced ourselves.

"So I am Terri and this is Mike." We made believe we all shook hands.

"And I am Owen an' this is Sabrina."

I smiled big, "I'm new here. I just moved into the famous Morrison's old place in Martinsville."

"Did you?" She smiled, she seemed surprised. "My favorite babysitter was my aunt Joanie, Joan Morrison, god I miss her. She moved to Delaware after my uncle James died."

"Oh, that's sad." I felt bad, I felt a twinge of pain in my heart. I slightly, knew of the previous family, and being in their house I had a strong connection to them.

"Sabrina can be your new babysitter, she has plenty of room and she has a table full of the craziest things to keep kids occupied." Owen smiled.

"You do? Then you are hired, forgo the references." Everyone laughed again, it was nice, I couldn't wait to show off the crazy things in my office on the big table and shelves. I couldn't wait to try and entertain two children.

The couple left, but not before we exchanged numbers. I promised to watch the kids, I promised to even meet them at the school. They said we would probably run into each other at Owens store too. I was so much happier than when I left the restaurant.

*

We were still on the holy wall. Owen's face was in my hair, on my neck, he was teasing me. I wouldn't let him carry me to the car. I wanted to walk, walk in my heels, I wanted to see myself in the windows of the closed stores. I wanted to wave to the cars passing by. I wanted to take pictures of us to replace the ones in my room. I was going to bury the picture of Miranda and me. I don't know why I thought I had to be reminded of my life in LA, I was now ready to start a new one, a quieter one.

The parking lot was empty, we were one of the only cars left. We kissed again in the front seat, we made out like teenagers, like an old engaged couple cheating on their partners. I had my nose against his, my leg was draped on top of him.

"Owen, I am so glad we met on that rock. Maybe one day we can visit Mrs. Kane and thank her." And I kissed him, but it was different, it was slower, more thoughtful. I wanted him to know I was finally comfortable with myself. For years I was back and forth between genders, between anxiousness and confidence, now I was in a parking lot, a lonely one, dark, unforgiving, but I was with a man, a man that was kissing me slow, thoughtful.

"She would probably love that." His hand went up my dress. The dress was so full, it was loose on my hips giving me the illusion of bigger ones. This was something I never would have worn back in LA. In LA everything was tight, short, and low-cut. I felt I had to compete with the glorious-looking starlets, the beautiful actresses, and waitresses, even the tourist attractions and hills. I let him rub my thighs as we kissed. I would let him have me, I would let him feel my genuine self.

"Would you like to see my library?" His lips were at my ear, my earring touching his chin.

"Um, okay. Is that what the kids call it nowadays?"

"Ha, maybe."

*

Owen's house was in the middle of a park, it was encircled by flowers, bordered by paths and mowed trails. His house was totally surrounded by fir trees, there was no sky. I knew his backyard led right to Kane's Rock. Inside, the house was huge, it was quite empty. He was showing me his library but I was more interested in something else, I felt so sexually attracted to him, I felt like he was holding a magnet to me pulling me closer to his genitals. I couldn't stop touching him, I made sure we kissed and cuddled, I made sure our mid-sections were trying to connect.

"And this, my dear, is my famous library, I am sure you have heard so much about it." He grinned as he brought me into the room lined with books. "Oh, here is one of Andrea Kane's books, I gave it to Faye, she never read it, I don't even think she opened it."

"Oh, it has a nice cover." I turned it over, I wanted to see her picture. She smiled, she had short brown hair, a smile like a woman that walks the streets of Martinsville. I knew she would approve of the new romance starting in her hometown. I had my long nails outlining her chin, her lips, for a second I forgot I was in a man's house.

"Would it be weird if I gave it to you?"

I looked up, I smiled. "Oh, only if you don't write me a note inside." He found a pen, I watched him write, he looked like a little boy, his tongue sticking out. He handed the hardcover back to me, I opened up and read:

"Sabrina, I hope this story of love and romance is as romantic, lovely, and as fascinating as the story of your life. Love and kisses, Owen (You know that guy that lives near the Rock.)"

I giggled, it was nice. I liked how quickly we forgot about the two other women in our past lives. I kissed him and we walked through the rest of his home, the rest of the empty rooms. Owen was alone in a huge house, a house for a family not for a semi-approved, pre-engaged man.

***

The End (Part 2 or 4)



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