I had a moderate level brain fart when posting chapter 6 and ended up putting 2 copies of it on both the home page and my stories page. I have the impression it caused a few headaches to sort out, and from the number of hits this week (400 compared to last weeks 800+) I'm wondering if some people may have missed it. If that's the case, here's a direct link to chapter 6. If you haven't read it, have a go before moving on to this week's offerings, and as always, please tip your waitress, I, I, er, I mean leave a comment.

Chapter 7

I was invited to rejoin my media studies class for the last half hour, where I managed to borrow some notes from a girl in the class who hadn’t yet been infected by the poison Clarissa was so evidently spreading about the school. At the end of the lesson, I’d apologised to Miss Vander for the disruption. She’d not been that concerned, her attention being directed more towards the lads in the class, most of whom were drooling over her. I mean, yeah, she was stunningly beautiful, I had to admit, with a fantastic body for a woman her age, but still, that age had to be twice that of anyone else in the room, so quite what had the lads motors running, I couldn’t say.

I retreated to the library and made efforts to complete my media studies notes while waiting for the rest of the Scooby Gang to assemble. That’s what Miss Ephemeris had called us, wasn’t it? Nick was the last to arrive, largely because he’d been part of the group of lads who’d stayed behind to talk to Miss Varder.

Yeah, I could have borrowed Nick’s lesson notes, but firstly, they were generally about as comprehensive as Clarissa’s and secondly, I didn’t think any of the lads were taking much in the way of notes in media studies these days. Something weird was going on there, but life seemed full enough without adding that sort of complication to it all.

Miss Ephemeris came over to me as soon as she arrived. “Sorry, I’m interrupting,” she said, sitting next to me.

“It’s alright, I was going to do this when I got home anyway.” I closed the notes, glancing over at Stuart to see if he’d react to my deliberate use of the g word, but he was still floating in the clouds over my performance.

“That really was exceptional this afternoon. I thought I was pushing you at lunchtime, but I never imagined you’d have that degree of talent. I mean I remember you at the try-outs…”

“Yeah, different body. This one is made for that stuff. I don’t have much upper body strength, but I don’t need it for that sort of dancing. I’m lighter too, and way more bendy, so with all that added power in my legs, I can do amazing things.”

“You could be a professional with moves like that, you realise that don’t you?”

“Yeah, except I think life has other plans for me, wouldn’t you say?”

“I would, yes, but don’t give up on the dream altogether. I mean how many impossible things have happened to you in the last couple of days?”

I gave her a weak smile. I mean yeah, but how many of them had been on someone else’s agenda.

Yet again, how many had worked out in my favour? I looked at my hand.

“Mr Giles, does the slayer usually have enhanced powers of healing?”

“Stuart please, Sarah. I think when it’s just us, we can work on a first name basis. To answer your question, the slayer legend does talk of a notable resilience and capacity for recuperation.”

“He means yes,” Miss Ephemeris said. “And I’m Jen. Just Jen.”

“I appreciate the translation Jen, but I’ve been taking a crash course in Gilesian and I’m getting pretty good at it.”

“Har har, laugh it up, er, fuzzy. You’re still using that dreadful word.”

The room collapsed into snickers. All except Nick astonishingly, but then he had this faraway look of someone lost to us all. There wasn’t much I could do for him, and I had a librarian to make fun of.

“So are you,” I said. “At least twice since your first objection. Oh, and if you’re going to try using pop culture references, try and get them right.”

“Yeah,” said Laurel a little breathlessly, “he was talking to a Wookie, not a Muppet.”

“What?”

“Increase in whatage,” I said to Miss Ephemeris. “Sure sign of a short circuit somewhere.”

“Anyway,” Jen said with a gentle smile, “I suppose what we should be doing is trying to think of an idea how we can avoid confusing the Muggles.”

“What?” Rupert said.

“I see what you mean.” Jen put a hand on my arm. “If we have another incursion in the school, how can we deal with it without digging Sarah or any of the rest of us into a deeper hole.”

“I thought we dug ourselves out of it quite successfully this afternoon,” Stuart said.

“Yes, it was a clever idea, but it’s a one-off excuse, like attending your grandmother’s funeral.”

“Most people have two grandmothers,” Laurel said.

“Who we’d prefer to remain alive as long as possible,” Jen said, “in our world of made up excuses as much as in real life.”

“How come so many came through?” I asked. “I thought the whole point of untethering the portal was to make it harder for the nasties to find it.”

“Yes, that’s a good point. I was thinking about that while you were finishing your lessons, and I was reminded of a journal entry from about three hundred and sixty years ago. The time of the plague in London. The, er, slayer at the time was evacuated from the city by, er, her parents so an attempt was made to prevent the arrival of any vampires by, er, by untethering the portal. As with ours, it began jumping from one convergence to another, which seemed to fix the problem, at least temporarily, until it – the portal I mean – latched onto a particularly strong convergence of ley lines near, er, Pudding Lane.”

“Are you trying to say vampires started the Great Fire of London?” Jen asked.

“Not exactly, no. The, er warlock who performed the untethering did. The number of creatures that came through the portal would have overrun the city, and, and in time the country, then the world. He did the only thing he could, which was to burn them. He himself was badly burned in the fire. The, er, journal entry was his last.

“It’s often used as an example of the necessity for drastic measures when the slayer isn’t available, so a warning to make sure she remains so, and to have contingency plans, but the mention of a particularly strong convergence set me wondering. I looked into it and there were a great many ley lines pinned between the Tower of London and, er St Paul’s Cathedral – the old cathedral of course; the one that was destroyed in the Great Fire – and they formed an alarmingly strong convergence near the, er, church of St Dunstan in the East.”

“Is there ever going to be a point to this?” Jen asked.

“Don’t you see? The portal latched onto the place and creatures started pouring through. Vampires, greshnicks and worse...”

“There are worse than greshnicks?”

“Oh yes, much worse, but that’s not the point...”

“It’s kind of a point...”

“Yes, but the thing is they were waiting. It’s as though they are drawn to very strong convergences on their side, so when a portal latches into place, they’re waiting to come through.”

“So how does that help us?” Laurel asked.

“Well, a big problem we’ve not been able to solve in the past is that we’ve never know where a portal would settle until it’s landed. And then we’ve been too busy dealing with what’s coming through to do anything about it. If we can say for certain that it’s going to settle here, we can set up disruption measures which should inhibit the monsters from infiltrating.”

“Meaning no more vampires and no more need for a me?”

“I doubt it will be so simple. If the portal can’t latch here, it will most likely keep jumping to lesser convergences, so cemeteries and the like a-and a need to patrol.”

“It’s also likely that the major convergence will attract worse things which may eventually find a way to break your measures,” Jen said thoughtfully, “but all that aside, it’s quite a brilliant idea.”

“Well, thank you, I, I do try and...”

“Let’s pull it off first. What do you need to make it happen?”

“I, I, I, what?”

“Laurel and I can help with the magic and the tech if you like, and you have to agree, it’ll be stronger with three of us.”

“Yes, I suppose. I was thinking, something like this.” He picked a heavy tome off a nearby table. Laurel and Jen approached.

“Is that Necronomicon?”

“A rare eighth century copy, yes. It’s another like this that’s used to correct transcription errors in all the modern versions. This has a few additional annotations. See here.”

I’d been warned off meddling with magic, so I settled next to the unresponsive Nick.

“Are you okay?”

“Miss Vander,” he sighed. “Did I say, she’s invited me round to study later.”

“Since when have you been interested in extra study sessions?”

“Since Miss Vander. You wouldn’t understand. You’re not a guy anymore.”

“Hey, do you guys need me? I think Nick could do with some help getting home.”

“Not home. Miss Vander...”

“I think that should be alright,” Jen said, “don’t you think, Stuart. I mean we could push the portal out to the cemetery west of here while we set up the wards, that way we won’t be at risk of being disturbed.”

“Yes, yes, that sounds, er...”

“It’s not that far from Nick’s house. I could patrol there after I’ve dropped him off home.”

“Good,” Stuart said. “We, we probably won’t get started for another couple of hours yet. I’ll, er, I’ll text you when we’re about to begin.”

“And nothing’s going to come creeping out of the basement between now and then?”

“What? No, er, no it shouldn’t. The, er, portal’s drifting at present and nothing should try coming through till after dark, er...”

“By which time we’ll have started and it’ll be out by you.”

“Okay, have fun with your magic tricks.” I hauled on Nick’s arm, just about managing to heave him upright.

#

Steering Nick home turned out to be more of a challenging than anticipated. He kept veering off course, and, strong as I was, I now had only half his body mass, which meant he ended up dragging me with him.

We eventually found ourselves outside a creepy looking house in a neighbourhood I didn’t even know existed. He pressed the doorbell and a sort of high pitched buzzing came from within.

A few seconds later, the door opened a crack and Miss Vander’s face appeared in the gap.

“Nicholas,” she said sounding a little surprised. Mind you, so was I. No-one called him Nicholas who wanted to see the next morning’s sunrise, and yet my friend stood there in a dreamy stupor.

“You’re early,” she continued. “I haven’t quite finished my tea. Oh, and you brought a friend.” This last was a lot less friendly.

“Oh, it’s alright. She used to be a guy.”

She bored into me with dark shining eyes. “Did she now. Just wait there a while and give me a chance to tidy up.” She closed the door on us, which was rude, except Nick didn’t seem to care. He let out a heartfelt sigh and leaned his head against the door.

“Nick, what are we doing here?”

“Miss Vander invited me round for extra tuition.”

“Yeah, but since when did you care about...”

He wasn’t listening. Instead, he took in a deep breath and let out another deep, soulful sigh.

I sniffed. There was definitely a funky smell in the air. Something that reminded me of the insect house at the zoo. I pulled a tissue out of my bag – one of the apparent girly essentials Mum had put in there. Like a galactic hitchhiker without his towel is a girl without a packet of tissues, apparently. I twisted it and tore it in two, sticking a piece up each of his nostrils.

“Hey!” he said and tried to pull them out. Fortunately, I needed strength rather than body mass to stop him from doing so.

“Leave them there, and don’t breathe so deep.”

He did so and his eyes cleared.

“What...?”

“Miss Vander?”

“Oh, hell no! What did you bring me here for?”

“Erm...”

I didn’t have a chance to respond because the door opened. Miss Vander’s eyes narrowed at the sight of Nick’s clogged up nose.

“Well, aren’t you the clever one,” she sneered at me. “It’s not going to help though”

Something huge and glistening appeared above her head and a squirt of white goo flew from it, enveloping Nick. Long spindly legs followed it, picking him up and spinning him as the goo stretched out into strands and wrapped around his body.

I kicked off my sheaths and jump at her. I didn’t know how much trouble I was going to get in for attacking a teacher, but I had a feeling these would be considered extenuating circumstances. I caught her with a slash across her right eye, which oozed black, the skin of her face hanging loose to reveal a glistening hard carapace beneath.

She backed into the house, carrying a mummified Nick with her. Spare legs tore at her skin and clothes ripping them into shreds and revealing... well nothing to improve my opinion of her at any rate.

Insectoid? No, count the legs. There were two more where her arms had been, and that large, black glistening something behind her turned out to be a distended abdomen, complete with red hourglass figure on it. The right eye was a sticky mess, but now as the skin of her face dropped away, I could see she had seven more available to her. Her mouth opened to reveal two large, dark fangs, dripping with something I was pretty sure I didn’t want in my blood stream. She lunged at me.

It seemed we were beyond the point of negotiation. I dived under her, bringing my feet up to slice through her abdomen. She let out a squeal of pain and outrage and leapt, spinning out of my reach.

The ceiling to the downstairs was missing. In fact, the entire inside of the house was a hollow shell all the way up to the roof joists. Thick web covered every corner with cocoons stuck to the walls everywhere. Faces I recognised looked out from them, relaxed in some eerily unnatural peacefully rapturous expressions.

No time for distractions. My Spidey sense tingled – maybe not an appropriate term given the circumstances – and I leapt sideways, spinning and twisting to avoid what I was sure would be sticky strands of web, just as the large bulk of whatever the hell Miss Vander currently was lunged into the space I’d occupied.

I landed and reversed my jump, embedding both my heels into its thorax(?) Biology not my thing really. Not into Latin, so never sure of all the names for different bits of creepy crawlies.

This wasn’t a vampire though, so no nice neat and tidy turning to dust. My heels stuck into the back of the creature, which started thrashing about with me on its back.

I waited for the right moment then hauled my feet back and out, tearing through the thick chitin and covering myself with more disgusting black ichor.

I landed on my feet as the monster spun around impossibly fast. Legs splayed, maw held wide with venom dripping from its fangs, it lunged at me.

I knew there was a web behind me, so this was going to be something of a hail Mary. I jumped back onto it, feeling it stick to my clothes. It stretched and sprang me back towards the gaping jaws. Somehow I managed to slip out of my cardigan, which meant I was moving at high speed when we came together.

It was fast, but I was faster, moving my feet just enough to avoid going into its mouth, and hitting it squarely between the eyes – all of them.

Apparently, it’s brain was still where you’d expect it to be. I hit it with an alternate stomping action, which punched a half dozen holes in its head. Enough that it dropped to the ground and lay still.

I was covered in the most unspeakable filth from head to toe, but cocooned bodies all around me were beginning to squirm and voices call out with increasing degrees of urgency.

I wandered through to what might have been the kitchen and found a block of knives in the debris. Taking the largest and sharpest of them, I started sawing my way through webbing. I had to tell the numpties to be still a lot, or risk me slicing them by accident. Most of them ran off as soon as they were free without so much as a thank you. The largest of them, a rugby prop forward known to everyone as Big Al or Big L or something like that, landed awkwardly and paused to rub his bruises.

“What the fuck happened to you?” he asked with a sneer. Not the cleverest thing to say to the girl with the twelve-inch carving knife.

“Don’t you like it? It’s a new look. I call it douche d'araignée.”

“Douche is right.” He snorted and ran off. Leaving me with Nick who was just coming round.

I was a little gentler cutting him down.

“What happened?” he asked as I helped him up.

“Miss Vander,” I said. “Gives a different meaning to the term ‘black widow,’ doesn’t it.

He shuddered. “I don’t remember much.”

“No, I think she had some sort of pheromone thing going. Hence the nose plugs.” I pointed at his nose. He pulled the tissue from it looking a little confused.

I went to where my cardigan still hung from a thick strand of webbing and tried to unstick it. No great deal of luck, so I cut it free instead.

“Any chance I can have a shower round at yours?” I asked.

“I should think so. I don’t have any clothes that’ll fit you now though.”

“That’s okay. I have spares.”

“Why? Were you thinking something like this might happen?”

“No. Mum was worried I might change my mind about the shortness of my skirt.”

“What’s wrong with the shortness of your skirt.”

“Don’t you remember? I had Warren Myers on the floor in maths trying to catch a glimpse of my girl bits.”

“Your… Oh. Never mind.”

I found matches, candles and a gas cooker in the remains of the kitchen. The gas had been turned off at the mains, but that was easy enough to fix. I left the gas pipes leaking with a couple of lit candles scattered about the large open space.

Nicks house was another squelchy, sticky ten minutes’ walk away. The explosion happened when we were halfway there.

“Was that such a good idea?” he asked as we paused to watch the pyrotechnics.

“What? We should have left the police to puzzle over why there was a twelve-foot spider in the gutted shell of a house? Then when all, or even some, of those eggs had hatched, would it have been fair to see which of them won?”

“Eggs?”

“She had hundreds in her abdomen. I think that’s why she captured so many of you.”

His parents were out – usual for his family – so he showed me into the bathroom and left me with a towel and the various soaps and shampoos his mum used.

My underwear was still useable, though I’d have preferred a change. When I undressed, I spotted the little thread which reminded me that I hadn’t checked things at lunchtime. It came out blood free as expected.

I took my skirt and tee-shirt into the shower with me, along with my tights. It took me twenty minutes to scrape off the filth and get it out of my hair, by which time my clothes had soaked enough to have lost most of the stain. I could hope the washing machine would do the rest.

I dried off and dressed in my summer dress. It was longer than the skirt, but loose enough that it wouldn’t interfere with my fighting. Not much, I hoped.

Nick had left a hair dryer for me in his parent’s room. Once I was done with that, I headed downstairs where I found him cleaning my shoes. It can’t have been a pleasant job, but he’d done it really well.

“You didn’t have to…” I started.

“I know, but it felt like the least I could do since you kept me from becoming spider food.” He opened the freezer and pulled out my cardigan. The web strand had frozen stiff and peeled off easily enough. “Trick Mum uses with bubble gum. I figured it was worth a try.”

I took the cardigan from him and shook it. It looked relatively clean. I slipped it on over my dress.

“Can I borrow your notes from media studies? I don’t remember much of it.”

“Much?”

“Okay, any of it.”

“I missed half the lesson myself, so I’m copying up too. I’ll let you have them tomorrow when I’m done. I doubt there’ll be much rush. I mean Miss Vander won’t be coming back.”

“True.” He dug out a carrier back for my wet things.

“Well,” I looked out the window at the encroaching dusk, “I guess I should be going.”

“Yeah. Thanks. Er…”

“Not a word. To anyone. Like it didn’t happen.”

“You sure?”

“I may have to discuss it with Stuart, but I’ll try to keep your name out of it.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

The cemetery was five minutes away. I reached the gates just as my phone buzzed. “Starting now,” it read.

“Whenever you’re ready,” I replied. “I’m at the cemetery.”

I sat on a tombstone and slipped off my protective sheaths.

“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this,” a voice said from behind me.

“Probably the same as you, David,” I said without turning. I had a warm feeling inside me which I rather liked. So, what if he was a guy and I used to be? I wasn’t anymore, so this had to be okay, didn’t it?

“You looking for somewhere to sleep too?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not why you’re here.”

“So, tell me about you?”

“A friend said there was going to be a portal opening here tonight, so I’m here to make sure that anything that comes through doesn’t makes it any further.”

“And you think I have a friend like that?”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Mmn, can’t do that.”

I looked over my shoulder at his heavy brooding brow, his broad shoulders, his mmmnn, nice.

“So, I’m right then?” I asked with a coquettish smile.

“Maybe a little. More that my friend told me you’d be here tonight.”

“You thought you’d be my knight in shining armour?”

“Well, I already tried being your damsel in distress, and I’m not sure that worked out so well for me. I mean I know you can handle yourself – I’ve seen you in action – so I thought at the very least I’d watch and see if I could pick up any tips.”

“And if it looked like I was losing ground, you’d be there ready to step in and save the day.”

“Something like that, maybe.”

“That’s pretty cold blooded you know.”

“What can I say. You’re something special to watch.”

I caught sight of a shimmering in the air. “Looks like the spectator sport is about to begin.” I stood up and tried a few moves to limber up.

The first thing through was a greshnick. So was the second and the third. What followed them was new. About twice the height with horns and a permanent scowl.

“You know what, I’m not proud,” I called out. “You can share if you like.”

“Er, okay.”

“The big ones have a weak point at the base of the spine. Hit that and you have a second or two to finish the job. Take off their head or stick them in the heart and they turn to dust like any other vampire. The really big one is new, so try stuff, but don’t let any of them grab you by the arms or legs. I’m guessing they’re like to pull bits off.”

“Okay. So individually or do you want to team up?”

“I’m good for teamwork, but we should try to get a feeling for each other’s fighting style before we try anything fancy.”

“Okay. What’s the plan?”

“Take out the easy ones first then see what can be done with butt-ugly there.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He launched himself with an animal growl at the group of greshnicks, slashing out with what looked like clawed hands as he bounded through them. They all turned in his direction, leaving their backs exposed. A single flying kick from me with legs widely, and somewhat inelegantly spread stabbed two of them in the back from where I was able to launch myself in the air and scissor kick the third in a way that separated its head from its thick shoulders.

David had a stake in each hand and buried them into the backs of each of the crippled horrors.

These were a little smaller than the first one I’d face, but I hadn’t expected to dispatch them quite so quickly.

The real challenge remained though, standing with its arms raised, roaring its rage at the sky. I probably came up to its waist, David maybe as high as its navel. Its skin was thick and leathery to the point where I really doubted if my heels would make it through.

This was a time when having access to Stuart’s bestiary would have been useful.

I withdrew a little, David backing off beside me.

“Any ideas?”

“In my experience, a demon’s strength is often in its horns.”

“Okay, any idea how we get up there?”

“Two options. We could try and bring it down to our level.”

I looked at its cloven hooves and wondered what, if anything, would be the equivalent to an Achilles tendon. Also, just how would either of us get through that skin?

“Option two?”

“I launch you up there.”

“If either of us do it wrong, you end up with my spike heels through your hands.”

“Best we do it right then.”

“What do I do when I’m up there?”

“Whatever feels right. I’ll try to keep it distracted and deal with anything else that comes through.”

Shit, that was right. The portal was still open and sparkling. Nothing to stop more of these fuckers coming through.

“Let’s do it.”

It was all the encouragement he needed. He ran forward and turned to face me. Butt-ugly saw his chance to even the playing field a little and aimed an attack at him from behind. I had to go now if David were to have any chance at all.

I ran at him, planting the ball of my foot in his cupped hands. He stood, launching me up and behind him. I shifted my balance to alter his aim until I was heading for the incoming horns, reaching out and grabbing the right-hand one as it came in range, wrapping my body around the left one, bringing all my small weight to bear and twisting the massive head just enough that its attack landed just to the left of where David had been standing.

Stage left. The creature’s right, but that would mean changing your perspective to see from the monster’s point of view. Yeah, it’s confusing, I know. Deal with it, I’m busy.

David was back on his feet, spinning and burying his two stakes into the creature’s neck.

At least trying to. The skin was too thick. The hardwood bounced off.

I tucked myself between the horns, bracing my shoulders against the right horn and locking my feet against the other. I brought all my strength to bear, forcing the horns apart, screaming at the top of my lungs as my sinews strained against the whatever was holding the horns in place. Best effort towards the tips gave better leverage, and near the limit of my effort, something gave.

It wasn’t me.

The left horn snapped at its midpoint. The monster screamed as radiant energy tore from the split. It felt like a vulnerability. I twisted around and jammed a heel down into the opened core of the horn, causing the creature’s scream to double in volume. It fell to its knees with me twisting against the damaged horn, and pulling it down to the ground, body twisted, face upwards.

“This is where an axe would come in handy,” I yelled.

“There’s always this,” David called back, the broken piece of the monster’s horn in both hands as he leapt and brought the sharp end down into his target’s eye.

Both the demon and its scream diminished as light poured out of its wounds. David pulled his horn and stabbed it in the other eye. We hung on while the thing shrunk then, when it was down to about two thirds its original size, I wrenched at the remaining horn, tearing it off at the root. The wound was blindingly bright and brought about a renewed scream from the creature until I stabbed the sharp end into the soft, shinning wound. It shrank rapidly into a gurgling nothingness, leaving just one and a half horns between us.

I’ll say this for these monster, with the exception of a rather revolting giant spider lady, they tidied themselves up nicely once they were killed.

A subsonic growl had us looking up together where a couple more greshnicks had just emerged from the portal. The demon horns weren’t well balanced, but we both threw them and accurately enough that they both sunk into their targets, turning them to dust.

We reclaimed our weapons and turned to face the sparkle which indicated where the portal stood.

“Mine’s bigger than yours,” I said.

He laughed. “I’m told size doesn’t matter.”

“Says the guy with the smaller one.”

“You are such a conundrum.”

“In what way?”

“You are such a mixture of innocence and sophistication, of maturity and childishness. I have no idea what to expect from you next.”

“Well, that kind of depends on what comes through the portal next. Personally, I’d just like to go home and get some rest.”

“Five greshnick’s and a whatever that thing was probably count as good for a random incursion.”

“Doesn’t necessarily mean that’s all we’ll get.

‘We wouldn’t have beaten that whatever it was without your input. You probably deserve the bigger prize.”

“There you go, being all surprising again. It took a ton of courage jumping on that thing’s head, and a lot more strength than I could have brought to bear to break that horn the way you did. I’ll keep this one, thanks. I can show it off and say, ‘look what the slayer can do.’”

“Suit yourself. Don’t say I didn’t make the offer, and guess what?”

“Yours is still bigger than mine.”

“Don’t you forget it.”

My phone buzzed.

“Wards in place, dropping the push. Confirm all well with you?”

“All threats neutralised,” I typed. “Sparkly portal has...” the sparks faded to nothing, “stopped sparklying.” I pressed send.

“Excellent job. We’ll meet at break tomorrow. Get some rest, you earned it.”

You have no idea how much.

“May be some alarming news about Miss Vander. Tell you what I know tomorrow.” There, something to disturb his night’s sleep.

“Walk me home?” I asked David.

“Really? If you can take out something like that,” he waved his half horn by way of indicating what, “what could possibly be bothering you?”

“Oh, just thinking how much less enjoyable it’d be on my own.”

“Well, since you put it like that.”

We walked for a while in silence.

‘I like your dress,” he said at last.

“Thanks, it’s not ideal for fighting.”

“What happened to your fighting gear.”

“Oh, I got spider goo all over it.”

“That sounds like a story.”

“Maybe for another time.”

“Sure. So, what should we talk about instead?”

“Maybe we could just not.” I leaned against his side, sliding an arm around his waist.

“Er...”

I recoiled. “Sorry, I thought. Oh shit, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not... Look, can we just... you know, slower?”

“Yeah. I've heard relationships based on intense experiences never work.”

“Is that a film quote”

“Maybe.”

“You’re not expecting me to give the response, are you?”

“Too much to hope for?”

“Definitely. Please, let’s take it slow for now. There’s something you need to know about me first.”

“Okay, so tell me.”

“Not yet. When the time is right. Will you trust me on this?”

“Sure. I mean, I guess I could maybe do with a bit more practice being a girl anyway.”

“From where I’m standing you don’t need any practice.”

“You don’t mind that I used to be a guy?”

“I’m not sure you ever were.”

“I’m sorry? I thought I already told you I was.”

“Yes, I know what you said, but from the way you speak, you don’t give the impression you ever fit as a guy.”

“What difference does that make? I mean that’s the way I was born.”

“And this was the way you were remade. Are you saying you should change back because this isn’t the way you were born?”

“Well, no, but...”

“So, you should stay the way you are because you feel better this way.”

“Well yes, but...”

“So, if you feel better this way, then your mind or soul, or whatever part you consider to be the central you, fits this body better than the one you were born with. And if that’s the case, then surely the actual genuine you always was a girl even though you were born a boy. At least physically.”

“You’re trying to confuse things.”

“Quite the opposite really, but if it makes you feel any better, ask your question again.”

“You don’t mind that I used to be a guy?”

“No, because all I can see is the female you. You are perfect exactly as you are, and if you were ever any different, I’m glad you found a way to fix yourself.

“Anyway, we’re here. That is your house, isn’t it?”

“No, I think we have to walk around the block one more time before we get here – there, I mean.”

“Sarah, you are wonderful, and I’m already looking forward to the next time we meet, but you should go in before your parents get too worried.”

I could see Dad pacing through the living room window. I held up the demon horns in my hand. Even at two thirds original size, it was pretty immense.

He took it from me and tucked it behind our water butt. “It’ll be safe there till tomorrow.”

“If you say so. Thanks for tonight.”

“Yeah, likewise.”

He vanished into the shadows, while I turned towards the light.

#

I didn’t quite get myself grounded. It took me explaining how Nick hadn’t been well and how I’d taken him home and stayed with him till he was better to do it. That and a phone call. Can you imagine, my parents calling his to confirm I wasn’t lying? At my age!?

Anyway, I was sent to bed without any dinner, which bothered me since between the spider lady and the twelve foot demon, I’d burnt a lot of calories.

Anyway, I changed into my night things and finished copying the notes I’d borrowed. Fortunately, my bag had been outside while I fought Miss Vander, so it and its contents had survived without being covered in goop, and as already mentioned, fighting vampires and demons had thus far proven a lot less messy.

I’d finished making notes to fill the space between the first forty minutes and the last twenty-five of then lesson and was reading through the whole lot to make sure it made sense, when a light tap on the door heralded the arrival of my late-night nagging.

I was filled with forgiveness and remorse the instant I saw the tray in her hands.

Lasagne doesn’t suffer much from being reheated in the microwave, and pasta was soooo very what I needed. I did have to force myself to slow down in order to keep my nightdress spotlessly white, and to keep a conversation going between bites, but it was worth it.

“I noticed you’d changed,” she said, the short sentence conveying all the unspoken questions behind it.

“Someone spilt stuff all over my other outfit,” I said. True enough. The someone being Miss Vander and the stuff also being Miss Vander. “It turned out taking spare clothing was a good idea after all.”

“You didn’t feel objectified in any way?”

“Well, Warren Myers tried to look up my skirt, but that’s something he does to all the girls who let him near.”

“What did you do?”

“Made some snarky comment about how long it was taking him to pick up his pencil, then went and sat with the girls next lesson.”

“Oh?” Yes, that was enough to convey the next question.

“Yes, I did sit with Clarissa Cooper, only she wouldn’t stop talking, even after the teacher’s third warning, so we got kicked out of class.”

“Oh?” Yet another eloquent syllable which prompted more explanation, how I’d shown I was trying to work so had been let off with a verbal warning, and how I’d burned my bridges with Clarissa and possibly every girl in school possessing the least hint of cool.

“Oh.”

No question there, which provided me with an opportunity to get ahead with my eating.

“Anything else you want to mention?”

Chances were Principal Piccolo would have wanted a conversation after the afternoon event, so I gave her the PG version of what took place. Called out of class to talk to another staff member – no need to say who – heard noise in basement, went to investigate, burnt hand on pipe. Mention of dance competition and impromptu demonstration.

The relaxation of muscles around her eyes suggested I’d covered all the bases. I added a minor embellishment that I’d been given after school detentions for the rest of the week. Unusual for sixth form, but an example had to be made for going out of bounds.

It’d give me time to train with Stuart if nothing else. More likely, it would mean I could deal with any backlog of nasties at the hexed portal, and maybe read through bits of his bestiary.

“Don’t forget to brush your teeth again, dear.” She took the tray. “What about the erm...”

“False alarm.” Was this another girl superpower or had I always been able to read Mum like that? We certainly hadn’t spoken as much when I was Mitchel.

“Well, keep a couple with you for when it does start. I’ve booked you in with the gynaecologist on Thursday morning. Your dad’ll take us into town first thing, then we can bus back, after a little retail therapy, of course. Now, where’s your skirt and tee-shirt from this morning?”

I lifted the bag of damp clothes to her on a free finger then headed off to brush my teeth again.