I don't pass ... but so what?

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I don’t pass – BUT what the hell

Sometimes it's just too much effort to stay hidden - and it's no fun ... and it's LONELY.

I like to wear women’s clothes. It began with an increasing disapproval, even disgust, at the narrow range of colours and especially materials available to me as a ‘mere male’.
Yuk.
I want colour. I want soft, sleek, smooth, sheer and lots of other femme-words that don’t begin with S. Why do I feel restricted to denim and all the other bloke-stuff which is hard and harsh and unlovely?

I love satin, silk, soft and flowing. I know other words but don’t have a clue what some of them are. Maybe chiffon, georgette, organza, taffeta, crepe – I really don’t know what they might feel like, how they might contribute to feeling femmy. Jersey and the lovely way it holds and clings – that’s rather nice.
BUT
And I don’t need any coarse and grubby jokes about my Butt – I’m not American.

I’ve bought stuff over the years. It’s well hidden (at least I think it’s well hidden). A couple of skirts, a long dress in blue jersey, several blouses, vests and a respectable (well, I like them) collection of lingerie.

But I know that I don’t look in the slightest feminine. There are women who, to my eye, don’t look especially feminine. Age and a level of, shall we call it, deterioration have shaken them somewhat – but they carry themselves as women. I think few would question their gender. And, maybe, for some of them at that age, state and status – it matters less.

But my dearest wish is to be relaxed and comfortable – even if in clothing usually determined as being not-for-males. I go to the shops. Even the larger supermarkets have a range of clothes now. I’ve seen satin-style wide-leg trousers – why shouldn’t I wear them. There's all sorts of things I've seen that I want. And trawling through some of those wonderful online clothing catalogues - that's a lot of fun. I know there's a risk with things not fitting - but I'd say the error rate is more like 5%. That's not a big risk - especially since returning is usually no trouble. And, yes, since you wonder, I do glance at the reviews. Sometimes.

I’ve seen tops and vests and all the rest – the skinny straps aren’t really my style – but I can cope with them in exchange for the slick, slidy wonderful, womanly-I-think feel of the material.

As for underwear – of course I wear panties almost all of the time. Bras when I feel like it. Stockings are less appealing as the back-clip is, for me, very hard to set – so it’s tights if I want (and that’s mostly not).

As I implied, I like a vest too. And now I’ve got used to the buttons being on the wrong – sorry – different side, I dress often topwise, bra, vest, top and a hiding-jacket. Trickier in hot summer.

But always alone. Always solo. Always out-of-sight. Hidden. Safe?

At night or relaxed on the sofa – I’ve worn negligees or nighties and panties for years. What a silly question. It does mean that I don’t invite anyone round. And that adds to the aloneness.

I’m a little cautious about my nether garb when I’m out – but who actually LOOKS at another’s clothing unless there’s something garish, outrageous or wrong. Not so many. I make sure there’s sufficient layering to hide – so no black or red bra under a thin white shirt. Do I look silly?

I’ve written this brain-download-blurt and realized that my first question was poorly worded. Why do I feel restricted? Because I believe what I’ve been told and also I feel there’s a risk. I’m as much restricted by ME as I am by what I think THEY might think, say, react or do. And their doing is too well publicised. For myself, I have no idea how real their reaction might be.

So I’m going to be a bit more bold – maybe not a satin skirt to the pub . Now that I’ve started thinking about being bolder – I can see new opportunities.

I’m old enough and look competent and confident – unless I go into bars, cafes or the like, I can’t really see much problem. Toilets – who really cares unless I make a fuss or they really are antagonistic.

I’ve read time after time – it’s about being confident. That’s the target. (So that I won’t be!)

likely to be continued

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Comments

I dont feel like I pass

but as long as nobody gives me a problem, I will just carry on,

nice little story, huggles!

DogSig.png

Be Bold! Be Creative! Do Fun things

and drag other people to become interested in you and what you are doing!~
It's the only way to create that *spark* in life!

Sephrena

No problem with being bold ...

but I mislike 'dragging' anyone to my point of view or to be involved in my activities. I'd like it if they did, of course.

Somewhere in my mid-fifties

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

I determined that I would plumb the depths of public rejection of males wearing women's clothing. Specifically the clerks at women's clothing stores. I went to second-hand stores totally drab. Not a hint of feminine in my outerwear. (I'd been wearing panties as underpants since my mid-thirties.) I would pick out some item of women's clothing that I thought would fit and make a good addition to my feminine wardrobe and ask to try it on. With only one exception my request was happily granted.

The crowning experience was at a very upscale shop in an affluent part of town. I was dressed nicely in men's slacks and a button up shirt with penny loafers. I browsed the racks of some very nice clothing. When I found something I liked that I thought would fit, I turned the hanger so it could hang sideways making it easy to come back to.

I had just done so with the third item when the owner of the shop came over an asked if I'd like her to start a fitting room for me. Of course I said yes. I made that shop a regular stop and even went back wearing some of the items I'd purchased there.

Lately, in my late 70s, I've been out dressed as me in typically feminine garb and I've noticed that women readily talk to me about all manor of things; men offer to help me when I'm having trouble reaching things on the top shelf of grocery stores or lifting heavy items. Not even my voice convinces people that I'm an oddity.

Besides, I've long since decided that being accepted is far better than passing.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann

Many thanks ...

I am so pleased at your comment which, I think, fits with and justifies the story. Be confident and many issues seem to go away (the confidence of age seems to help too)
And I really enjoy your works too.
Thanks
AP

I don't pass...

But i don't care that's my attitude... why try when I just want to be comfortable I wear skirts and dresses no make up nothing to hide my true gender I just wear what I like. Sometimes I worry about my underwear but this story doesn't have anything to do with my choice of underwear. Confidence is the key, hopefully the subject of this story finds it.

EllieJo Jayne

Thanks

That was the gist of the story. The promise of a continuation has drifted into a different story/work-in-progress.