That night I didn't sleep well, I kept thinking if I could have done something to stop Richard attempting suicide. Were there any clues? Well I knew she had dressed before, but there was no indication that she felt that way.

"Any news on Jessica?" asked Helen as she woke up, breaking my self-analysis.

"She is fine, as is Wendy," I replied peering at the PDA. "Oh and we get the results of the year leadership vote just before breakfast."

"Well, there's no way either of us will have won. We keep getting called away and haven't mixed with the others that much."

"That’s true but we have been involved with Richard and Sam quite a bit. Also Emma helped me a bit with preparations last Saturday. I don't really think I'd like to be the year contact; I have enough happening in my life already."

Helen gave a hearty chuckle and nodded her head in an understanding way. We just lay there cuddled together, enjoying the peace of the morning. Eventually Helen gave a contented sigh and said, "We better get up before we miss that meeting."

"I suppose so," I reluctantly replied. "It would also be nice to check on Jill and Anna."

I climbed out of bed and headed towards my bedroom. As soon as I started going through the door my PDA started complaining. "PROXIMITY WARNING" was in bold. Pressing the information button, it informed me I was about to leave the proximity of my study partner, which wasn't allowed.

I looked at Helen and we both remembered that we would need to stay together. What I thought was a little joke by Jill's now suddenly didn't seem so funny. I stood there in shock, not daring to make a move. Helen slid out of bed, gave me a kiss on my cheek and, taking me by my hand, led me into her bathroom.

* * *

"Are you okay?" asked Emma.

Where did she come from? I hadn't seen her come in.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked again.

"Uh, yeah," I replied. I shook my head trying to clear the fog. In fact I don't even remember coming into the common room. I looked across at Helen who was trying her best not to laugh.

"Jayne had never seen a naked girl before," explained Helen. "I think her mind is still playing catch-up."

"You didn't do it, did you?" asked a worried Anna.

"Of course not," replied Helen indignantly. "Though I'm sure it would have been fun!"

I didn't get chance to retort as there was a knock on the door and Jessica let in Mr Hobson.

"Good morning everyone!" jovially greeted Mr Hobson, his cheerful attitude rubbing off on us all and we cheerfully responded. "Okay, I'll keep this quick. We have a draw for the leader so you have two choices, since they're study partners you can either opt to have them joint leaders or we can have a revote. Which would you like?"

"Who won?" queried Brian.

"Helen and Jayne. Hands up those who want them to be joint leaders."

Everyone raised their hands and Helen gave me a hug. "Thank you all. I'm very surprised."

I saw Jessica mouth thank-you to some of the others. Had Jessica manipulated the vote and if so, why?

"One further administrative item which is for Sam to decide, but in the current climate, should be something you are all aware of. Sam, I need you to decide what you want on your passport; Sam, Samantha or Samuel and what gender male or female."

"Mr Samantha Hood doesn't sound right," giggled Jessica. Sam just gave her a friendly punch.

"If you choose female, it would make things easier for you to share a hotel room," pointed out Mr Hobson.

"What would happen if I chose male," asked Sam.

"Things might be easier, or they might be harder. There certainly would be more work in getting things sorted."

"Do I have to decide now?"

"No, but can you let me know by the end of lunch?"

Sam nodded. None of us said anything other than we would support whatever decision was made.

During lessons Sam seemed preoccupied. The teachers must have known that Sam had a difficult choice as they gave more leeway. Jessica and the rest of us helped encourage Sam so not too much learning was lost.

As we went into lunch, Sam was all smiles. "I've made a decision. For the passport I will be classified as female but have the name Sam listed. That and the hotel should be the only things that worry about my gender. For the rest of the trip I will be androgynous. That way Jessica and I will be able to still look out for each other."

"I think that sounds a fair compromise. Have you told Mr Hobson?"

"I'll send him a note," Sam said punching the details into the PDA. "I just hope I explained everything properly. I hate writing French more than speaking it."

"You're doing very well," Anna said. "You're still too grammatically perfect but that will get better over time."

"Time we don't have. We go in under three weeks."

"But since Sam didn't speak much French till a week ago, I think Sam is doing wonderfully."

"They certainly know how to drum it into you," agreed Sam. "Having the television only in French is surprisingly good. Being totally immersed into it was quite a shock yesterday but I'm starting to get used to it."

The day progressed quickly and it wasn't long before the twenty-four hour suicide watch was over. Orchestra practice was now a daily event and we all looked forward to it. It wasn't till just after the practice that the suicide watch was lifted and I managed to see Jessica alone. Helen had taken Sam off, leaving just me alone with Jessica in the common room. Where the others were was a mystery.

"Jessica, did you manipulate the vote?"

"What do you mean?" asked Jessica sounding very nervous.

"Did you ask others to vote for me or Helen?"

"Why would I have done something like that?"

"That is what I'm trying to find out. Now stop worming your way out of it, did you ask others to vote for me or Helen?"

I gave Jessica a piercing stare and she wilted. "Yes," she said in a little voice. I'm glad she caved in at that stage, as I don't think I could have put on the hard act for much longer.

"Why?" I asked. The bewilderment I felt carried through into my voice.

"Wendy said something about you and Helen knowing more about the happenings at the school. She said you had contacts with other year leaders such as Stacy and Ingrid."

"Yes, Helen and I are friends with Stacy and Ingrid, but that doesn't make us good year leaders."

"Did you do and see things yesterday at Jill's house that you won't discuss with anyone else?"

"Well yes, but-" I started but was interrupted

"Do you know things about the school that I don't?"

"Well yes, but-" I again started but then realised what I'd said.

"Therefore, I think Wendy was correct. She said there were some people at school that had extra knowledge. She also said there was an unwritten rule that pupils didn't query or try to find out certain things."

"I suspected certain things on day one and asked. I wish I hadn't. Oh I wasn't punished or anything, it was just I was told what I suspected was true and that caused issues for Helen. You see there can't be any secrets between you and your study partner. Anyway, if it wasn't for Wendy; who would you have voted for? "

"Originally I was going to vote for you but in the end I voted for Helen. I was going to vote for you due to how you handled me trying to run away. You didn't snitch and tried to resolve the situation. You also didn't hand Wendy in. In fact, I think you would have won outright if I hadn't talked some people to vote for Helen."

"What did you tell the others?" I asked, holding my breath.

"I didn't tell them what Wendy had said, just what a good job you and Helen had done with me. I also highlighted how brave you were with going to help with rescuing Jill and Anna. They didn't need much persuasion."

"But it wasn't something either of us wanted," I lamented, knowing my fate was sealed.

"Probably not, but I think you'll both do well," reassured Jessica.

I opened my mouth to retort but Sam walked in with Helen. Soon after, the others walked in so there was no chance to discuss it further. It wasn't till bedtime and we went to our rooms, that I got chance to tell Helen.

"I wonder how much Wendy knows," I pondered.

"Probably not everything, but she is certainly observant enough to know there are extra things happening. I just hope she doesn't cause trouble in the future."

"So do I. We will have to see how things develop with her. I hope she's learnt her lesson, that too much interference can cause trouble."

* * *

The next morning, during breakfast, I got an appointment for a rehearsal at eleven. It was just for the four of us that would be playing solo in Mozart's Sinfonia Concertante. At least for Helen and I it was a study period so I wasn't going to get behind in my lessons, I'd just have to catchup with my studies that night. I realised then that I wasn't aware of Jill or Anna's specialisation.

"Hey Jill and Anna," I said in between mouthfuls. "Have you been assigned specialist skills yet?"

"Assigned what?"

"Each student is assigned a specialist skill which they study for. Have either of you been assigned anything?"

"No," they replied simultaneously.

We all looked at Becky who had turned red. "Oops," she said. "With all the excitement on Monday and yesterday they haven't been given out. It was a wonder we managed to get PDA's to you. Suicide attempts tend to put a strain on everyone but the psychiatric team tend to get a lot jitterier."

Mr Hobson stood up and addressed everyone there, "It has just come to our attention that we have been remiss and not notified Jill and Anna of their specialist skills. Therefore, they will be given them as part of the usual ceremony just after orchestra practice, which will delay the evening meal by thirty minutes. I just hope that Andy can cope without sneaking into the kitchens."

The rest of the school laughed at the joke and Andy got up and took a bow. Well I think it was a joke.

"Jessica and Jayne," stated Becky. "You are excused from morning lessons as you have an appointment to see Kelly. Tomorrow at eleven, you will both be seeing a speech therapist, to have your voices assessed."

"And there was me thinking being a girl would be easy," giggled Jessica.

Jessica and I met Kelly in one of the larger classrooms. All the chairs and tables had been moved to one side, leaving a large area we could move around in.

"Today is about deportment," said Kelly. "That is your posture and the way you walk. I have a selection of shoes that I am going to get you to walk in. First question, have either of you walked in heels before?"

"No," I replied.

"A little," confessed Jessica, turning slightly red.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," reassured Kelly. "How high?"

"About two inches. They were my mothers and she doesn't like wearing anything higher than that."

"That's not a problem. You don't need heels to appear female, but sometimes it's fun. When we do concerts the girls often wear three-inch heels. I want you to get used to wearing heels as it is something that will help with your gait."

"Gait?"

"The way you walk. Boys and girls walk differently. Part of that is because of different shoes or different pelvic bones. However, some is just put on to appear sexier. Now I'd like you to both take off what you are wearing and put on the first pair of shoes that I've set out for you. They are a one-inch, chunky heel."

We wandered across to the table where the shoes were laid out and put on our shoes. As with everything else in the school, they fitted perfectly.

"Okay, I'd like you both to walk towards me, turn and then walk back."

We did as she said. When we got back to the table she called, "Again."

"How do your feet feel?" she asked as we finished the second circuit."

"Mine feel fine," I replied.

"Me too," replied Jessica.

"Are you sure Jessica?"

"Okay, they feel a bit strange."

"It is important that you be truthful with me. I don't want you hurting yourself and ending up not going on the field trip."

"Why yours feel strange is because you haven't quite got your walk right. You are clumping your feet too much, which is putting more of a strain on your ankle and lower leg. The aim is for you to glide. If you stomp too much, you will injure yourself and look very strange. So both of you stand up and we will try again. This time I'm going to put a book on both or your heads. The aim is for you to walk across the room without the book falling from your head. Once that occurs, I will know you are gliding. Each time the book falls I want you to stop. I will place it on your head and you can set off again."

Once Kelly had put the book on our heads we set off. We had walked about two steps when we both lost the book. "You both keep looking at your feet. If you do that then the book will never stay on your head. You have to move while keeping your head still. Look to the far wall and walk towards it. Remember, the top of your head is the flattest."

This time we got a little further. "Hands by your sides," instructed Kelly. "You look very strange walking with your hands by your head."

After half an hour I'd managed it a few times when Jessica finally succeeded. "Well done Jessica," called Kelly. "I want you both to take off your shoes and sit down with me."

"You have both done well," said Kelly. "Jessica, you found that harder than Jayne because Jayne had an advantage over you."

"I did?"

"Yes, well two. One, you've never attempted to walk in badly fitted shoes which gives a very bad gait. Secondly, you started off with a feminine style of walk. Where you got it from is hard to say, but you walked more like a girl than a boy."

"I'm sorry," I said to Jessica.

"What for?" she asked. "You've done nothing wrong other than be yourself."

"This week I don't want either of you wearing more than a one inch heel. I will see you again on Saturday at ten for more walking lessons and we will get you into two inch."

"Do we have any homework?" I joked

"Yes, I'm afraid you do," replied Kelly in a serious tone. "You are to practice walking in one inch heels with books on your head. I want too see some improvement by Saturday. Since your feet are tired, you aren't to wear heels till lunchtime at the earliest."

Jessica and I started to leave when Kelly suddenly said, "Oh Jayne, can I have a word with you for a second?"

Jessica gave me a knowing look and continued on alone.

"It's nothing much but I've also been asked to give you and Helen lessons to help you fit in better as a male. Would early October be acceptable to you?"

"I don't have a problem with that date. I'm not sure how Helen's going to take it though."

"I won't be able to book a firm date till the middle of September. I have a summer school that starts soon which will keep me away till then."

"I thought you came on the field trips."

"I normally do, but I can't make this one. It wasn't planned to be so early and I do have other commitments."

The Mozart practice was held in the music classroom. The four chairs for the soloists were set out in the same pattern as before. There was a fifth chair set out just behind the backs of the others.

I was the first to arrive so I put the music on my stand and started to warm the horn up. There's nothing harder than playing a cold instrument.

"Did she make you walk with a book on your head?" ask Jill as she walked in with Helen.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Because Anna and Erika did the same thing to me," explained Jill.

"Who's the fifth chair for?" asked Helen

"No idea," I replied. "It was setup like that when I arrived."

A minute later Wendy appeared. "I'm sorry for the way I behaved on Monday," she apologised. "I was out of order."

"It mustn't have been nice for you; having to dress in male clothes and also see your brother do something you hadn't prepared yourself for."

"But that’s still no excuse," said Wendy. "I ruined the practice."

"Well I certainly have a better idea of the tune now," smiled Jill. "Shall we all tune up and start."

Just as we finished tuning up from Jill's oboe, Stacy snuck into the room with her Violin. "I thought you might want the other part of the tune to fill in some of the gaps."

"Then you're just in time."

This time the playing was 200% better than it had been on Monday. We all listened carefully to each other's timings and we sounded like we were a single voice of four instruments playing against the rest of the orchestra, well in this case just Stacy.

"That sounded a lot better," said Stacy after an hours practice. "If you sound like that this afternoon, Mrs Russell will be very pleased."

"Thank you for your help," I said to Stacy. "It helped a lot having you here as well."

"I'm glad," she replied. "However, there was an ulterior motive; I got an extra practice in. Andy will be so jealous."

Indeed the orchestra practice went very well. It was obvious that everyone had spent their extra time practicing. With seventeen days to the trip, it didn't give a lot of time for anything else. "Keep up the practice and we'll retain our European reputation as England's finest youth orchestra. It's a shame that nobody in England has ever heard of us."

Everyone laughed at that, but on the other hand it was a deadly serious issue. I don't know what would happen if the schools existence ever became public.

"Before we break for the day, Kelly Baxter has asked to say a few words."

Kelly walked in from the back of the room. "Sorry I'm asking now and not later, but I've got to get home. For anyone who wants, there will be makeup lessons this Sunday and next Sunday. This is not just for those who want to look more feminine but also for those who want to look more masculine. Year one students get priority for any bookings. If anyone from year four, or five, who has completed the beauty course, wants to give Sasha a hand, then she'd be most grateful. I believe the meal is delayed for Jill and Anne to get their skills; therefore, I'm going to go before Andy worries it will be any later than the new schedule!"

When we went into the year one common room, I expected to see Mr Hobson and the five psychiatrists. They weren't there. A few minutes later, they knocked on the door and asked if they could enter. We agreed. I keep forgetting that this common room was ours and that no other student or staff member were allowed to enter without permission.

"Anne, I know that Jill knows who we all are, do you?" asked Mr Hobson.

"Yes, Jill told me who you all were the other day."

"Excellent, well that saves quite a bit of time. Since we've never had two extra students before, it took some thinking to come up with specialisations that suited your existing skills. Now you are both assigned to Rachel Ruiz so she will inform you."

"I'm going to do this in English. Anne first," said Rachel standing up and switching from French to English. Helen nudged Anne to stand as well. "This is the first time we have ever asked anybody to specialise in this, so you will have to do a lot of research yourself. We already have a language and customs specialist, which we might have got you to do. Therefore, we would like you to become an expert in religions. Since a lot of texts and studies aren't in English, you will need to use your language skills."

"That sounds a challenge," said Anna as she sat down.

"Jill, you are equally a challenge," stated Rachel. "You already have an advantage in being a highly skilled musician and you have already passed a GCSE with highest marks. Therefore, I want you too look into something different. I want you to start looking into laws in this country and others that will impact this school, should we ever visit. I would like you to start with gender and relationship laws. For instance we are going to visit France soon and they have different laws on the age of consent. As you start to get your knowledge, I'd like you to document it so it becomes a useful resource for others."

"That's quite a project," said Jill. "I've done research before, so that isn't a problem. I've never looked into the law, so that will be something new."

"Okay," said Mr Hobson switching back to French now. "Let's go and eat."

"Are you going to book for the makeup course?" I asked Helen as we walked to the dining room.

"I'm not sure. I'm not bad with makeup."

"You're good at making yourself look feminine and slightly older. I'm sure there are a lot of other tips you could pick up. Also, it might be useful if you learnt how to look more masculine, just in case you need to portray Christopher again. You weren't able to go with me to get Jill, because you didn't pass well enough."

"I suppose you're right. I'll book an appointment."

Helen picked up her PDA, found the request form and filled it in. We both got our responses at the same time. I had an hour's lesson with Sasha while Helen had the same hour period with Stacy.

"Why am I not surprised?" she said. "Stacy seems to get involved with everything."

I leaned across and whispered in her ear, "You'll probably be learning how to apply camouflage makeup." That got me a light punch in the arm.

* * *

The voice lessons were a big flop. I got there and she listened to me speak. She even ran my voice through a special computer program.

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you."

"What do you mean," I said starting to panic. "Are you saying I can never speak like a girl?"

I'm going to be a laughing stock when everyone hears about this. How am I going to cope with going out of the school?

"You misunderstood. You already have the inflections and intonation of a girl. Your pitch is also good."

Because I was only in for ten minutes out of the allotted hour, it meant that Jessica was able to have a much longer session. Only being thirteen helped with pitch, as none of our voices had yet broken. I wonder what lessons we'll need, as we get older. Perhaps medication would help stop the voices breaking for people like Emma and possibly Jessica. I put down these thoughts for possible self-study after the field trip.

* * *

"Hello," said an Asian woman as I walked into the room. "Are you Jayne?"

"Yes," I replied looking round at what appeared to be a salon. There were three hairdressing chairs that were currently being used for makeup so they could see what was being done to them.

"So, are you ready for your makeup lessons?"

"It's not something I want to learn but something I feel I need to do," I replied. "I wasn't aware of this area till I looked where the lesson was to be held."

"It's quite nice isn't it? A complete hairdressing and beauty salon in the middle of the school. There are rooms at the end for waxing, electrolysis and massages. Now take a seat and let's see what I've got to deal with."

I took a seat and tensed up as she ran her fingers gently across my face.

"Relax; I'm not going to bite. Well, you already have quite a good complexion, so let us see what we need to do. Did your mother never let you wear makeup when you were younger?"

Half of me wanted to laugh and the other half wanted to cry. I couldn't be bothered to tell her that I was male so I just said, "No, I was never allowed."

"Well, let us see what we can achieve today. You are lucky that you don't need to put on much to be an absolute stunner. You already have long eyelashes and a great shaped mouth. The first thing we are going to do is colour match you for foundation. Now foundation has two purposes, it gives your face a uniform look, hiding any blemishes. It also acts as a canvas for you to add other makeup. Now, one thing to remember is that you only need a little."

She took a bottle of foundation and, using her finger, put a small drop on my face. She then gently massaged it.

"As you can see, that sticks out a bit, so it isn't the correct colour for your face, but it doesn't look far off. Let's see how this one looks."

She took a different bottle and again dabbed a bit onto my face. This time it blended in as she rubbed it in.

"I can't see it anymore."

"That is because it's the right colour," she said making notes onto the computer system. "I'm creating a salon record so that we always know what colours suit you. It saves going back to basics all the time."

"This foundation is quite long lasting, it should last about eight hours, which isn't bad. After the foundation has been added we add a powder to set the foundation into place. I'm going to do the left hand side of your face and I want you to mirror what I do afterwards on the right side. If you make a mistake we can wipe it off and try again."

Art isn't my favourite subject. In fact it was one of my worst. However, makeup seemed to be quite good fun. Sasha showed me how I could create different looks just by subtly altering what and how I applied it. I could look like a sophisticated businesswoman in her twenties to a young teenager going out on the pull. I must have tried several different lipsticks and eye shadows.

"It will take quite a bit of practice for you to be able to achieve such looks but you certainly have the face to do it. What I want you to practice is the look you will probably have for your concerts. The stage will be lit up, so if you don't wear anything you will look very pale."

She showed me what to do and then took it all off. I then tried to mirror what she did. I didn't succeed but I didn't do too badly. I understood what was required but had difficulties getting it to look quite right.

"You aren't doing too badly," she said. "All you need now is to practice. Do you know Brenda in year five?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well, if I'm not around, or any of the beauty people aren't, then ask her. She is a miracle worker with the brushes; just don't tell Stacy. I'm going to quickly wipe off your makeup and make you look like a sophisticated sixteen-year-old girl. The makeup will be subtle so you shouldn't get into trouble."

When she was finished I couldn't believe the look. I couldn't tell I had makeup on but there in the mirror was me, looking like an older girl. I was still recognisable as me, but I looked older and more self-assured.

If I can look like this, then nobody will believe that I'm a young boy under all these clothes. Lookout France, Jayne is on the way!

"Do you have a makeup table in your room?"

I thought about it for moment and realised I didn't, but nor did Helen.

"No, I don't think any year one student has."

"I'll see what I can get organised for you," she said. "I'll also get all your makeup delivered."

"My makeup?"

"Yes, you need to practice. All the makeup that colour matches you, will be there. When you start to run low, just order more via your PDA and it will be delivered. It's all part of the Hayfield Hall service. I recommend you put this lipstick into your pockets, just in case you need to touch up."

As I made my way to the year one common room, I bumped into Helen coming from the bedroom area. "Jayne?" she asked, wide eyed as she took a look at me.

"Yes," I said with a smile. "What do you think?"

She didn't say anything but pounced on me, taking me into her arms and giving me a kiss. It was only at that point that I realised that she was wearing makeup herself. Our lipsticks mingled and my mind went into overdrive.

"Is this how you imagined me?" I asked when I got my thoughts back together.

"No," she said her breath short and shallow. "This is even better. I just couldn't keep my hands off you. Oh, you need to redo your lipstick."

"I'm not the only one," I laughed.