Jessie removed his top and Ashley helped him slip the pretty summer dress over his head. She then zipped up the back. A tear fell from Jessie’s eye.
“I’m sorry sweetie. I know this has to be so hard for you.”
“I’m never going to be a boy again. Look at me…it’s too late. My life is over.”
“We’ll get this fixed ok??? We just need to think. Come on, let’s go.” Ashley replied as she teared up herself. This boy’s life was devastated.
During breakfast Jessie kept drifting off the conversation. His mind was very pre-occupied with what was going on. He was surprised by how calm he was under these circumstances. He knew his nature. He should be up in arms right now flipping the table over, verbally abusing his mom and grandma, storming out of the house and returning when he damn well felt like it… but he wasn’t. He remained very composed and controlled in his emotions.
“Well thanks for breakfast. Come on Jessica. Let’s go get dressed for the day.” Ashley stated pulling Jessie up from the table.
Susan eyed her granddaughter as she followed Ashley out of the room.
“Amanda, did you notice anything odd about Jessica?”
“No mom, she seemed fine. I think she had a great day yesterday and is a bit worn out is all.”
“I don’t know. Not wearing a skirt? No pantyhose? It is so unlike her. It makes me worry.”
“Mom, if she doesn’t wear a skirt everyday that’s quite alright. She has been over-the-top feminine for a while and maybe she is pulling it back a little now. She’s a teenage girl for crying out loud. She shouldn’t be wearing pantyhose every single day.”
“I suppose you’re right. I may just be drawing too many conclusions.” Susan replied. She still had her concerns no matter how much Amanda tried to rationalize.
Once in the bedroom, Ashley let it out.
“That was freaky Jessie! I was so nervous that they were going to find out that your memory had returned.”
“Something’s changed about me Ashley. I really wanted to get upset and freak out but I just couldn’t. I had no desire to. I look at what they have done to me…I look at my body and I want to scream, but I don’t. It’s scary! It feels like I have boundaries that I cannot cross.”
“I don’t know sweetie, but maybe you will become more yourself the less you listen to those tapes.”
“Tapes?”
“Every night you put on those headphones and listen to tapes that affect you mentally. You’ve been on them for months.”
It made sense to Jessie. The tapes controlled his mind. They gave him the thoughts, they brainwashed him. Once again, he was way too chill about finding out this information. He realized that it was not right but had no control over it.
“Can we just get away for a while Ashley? I just want to go somewhere and think things over.”
“Okay, but we gotta do a couple things to get by your grandma though. I hate to say it Jessie but you’re going to have to put these on.” Ashley said as she held out a pair of nude pantyhose. “You can take them off as soon as we get out of the house I promise.”
“Man, what have I become??? “ Jessie replied as he slipped his shorts off. He then bunched up the nylons and donned the pantyhose as naturally as any woman would.
Ashley watched in wonder. His memory seemed like it was back. He knew that he was a boy, but there were some definite lingering effects from the tapes. The male-female line seemed very blurred.
As soon as Jessie had pulled the panty up over his waist, he felt an electric surge run through his legs. He looked down at his nylons encased gams. He knew that what he was looking at was the antithesis of masculinity, but there was no denying how fantastic they felt against his legs. I’m a boy! I AM A BOY! He felt deflated.
“We should put you in a dress too. We just have to show your grandma that you are the same Ashley she knows. I’m packing your shorts in my bag. As soon as we get somewhere for you to change you can change. Are you ok with that?” Ashley asked. She really didn’t want to hurt his male ego. Did he still have a male ego??? She saw the look in his grandmother’s eyes though and knew that all questions needed to be squashed asap!
Being in the daze from all that was going on, Jessie agreed. He knew for sure that he would be out of that dress as soon as he could. Jessie removed his top and Ashley helped him slip the pretty summer dress over his head. She then zipped up the back. A tear fell from Jessie’s eye.
“I’m sorry sweetie. I know this has to be so hard for you.”
“I’m never going to be a boy again. Look at me…it’s too late. My life is over.”
“We’ll get this fixed ok??? We just need to think. Come on, let’s go.” Ashley replied as she teared up herself. This boy’s life was devastated.
Jessie slipped his feet into some matching heels and followed Ashley downstairs.
“My my my Jessica, that’s the girl I know.” Susan said as she admired her pretty creation.
“Thanks! We’re going out for a while”
“Ok, have fun girls!”
As they left the house, Jessie thought about his family. His mom and grandma seemed so happy with his transformation. How could they be so cold? They didn’t give any thought to his feelings and desires. Well he hoped that they were happy since his life would never be the same.
Ashley glanced at Jessie as they walked. He put on those heels without second thought. It was almost as if he didn’t realize that he had done that. He still carried himself in a very feminine manner. His hips sashayed, his heels clicked, his arms gently and elegantly swayed.
“You doing alright Jessie?”
“No. I can’t control my thoughts. They are all mixed up right now… Look at my shoes!” Jessie said as it just dawned on him that he had put on the heels, “I put on high heels???”
“Yeah, I thought you knew.”
“I had no idea! I just did it without thinking!”
“Just give it time Jessie. You can’t expect everything to be normal so soon. You have to have time to adjust.”
Jessie thought about what had transpired. His last full memories were of him as a boy. Being on the soccer team, playing video games, getting into all kinds of trouble lol!, hanging out with Jason... Huh? What the heck was that? He felt flush and what the heck were the butterflies in his stomach for? He thought about Jason and there it was again! Butterflies in the stomach! He felt flush! That didn’t make any sense did it?
They approached the mall and Ashley directed Jason to the restroom.
“Ok, so you need to use the women’s room, but go in there and change. I put a t-shirt, shorts and sneakers in the bag. That should make you feel more comfortable.”
Jessie grabbed the bag and reluctantly entered the women’s restroom. He found a stall and opened the bag. He lifted the skirt of the dress and reached to remove the pantyhose. Maybe he should keep the pantyhose on just in case? No! of course he shouldn’t. Why would he need to keep the pantyhose on? I mean they did feel super nice on his legs and all but he’s a boy. Dang it! Okay, gotta get this dress off. Put on the shorts and t-shirt…much less feminine. Pantyhose, dresses, skirts? He was a boy and all of a sudden he was thrust into this woman’s world. He was not going to tolerate this.
After several minutes of fighting with his demons, Jessie emerged from the restroom feeling more at ease with his clothing.
“Jessie, you didn’t change? You saw the shorts and t-shirt???” Ashley asked being confused.
“Yeah Ashley. I thought that maybe I should wear the dress just in case someone sees me that expects me to be the girly girl.” Jessie rationalized. As girly as his outfit was, he found himself uncontrollably drawn to the feminine get-up.
“Oh Jessie, those tapes are awful. You have no control do you?”
Comments
Have NO Fear About Jess
I have the feeling that Jessie and Jessica will merge into one.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Incomplete disguise
Grandma might still be suspicious, since Jessica left the house without any makeup on.
Pay back
Mom and gram have a lot to answer for, this is a case of identity death. Jess may be able to find some new sense of self but I think (s)he should never trust mom and gram ever again and should get away ASAP. IF tapes could be made that are that effective, the same type of thing could be used to make him a better boy. But then again then there wouldn’t be much of a story.
Mom and gram should be turned into the authorities for child abuse. Maybe Jessica could live with her new friend who seems to be the only one concerned for her(his) well being. Even if she didn’t start out thinking that way.
I look forward to more.
Thanks
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Jenna
http://www.myspace.com/alpheias
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Jenna
The wonderfog
I like the wrestling with demons, and letting them go on without her. I do have a lot of faith in Ashley's writing, and long ago gave up parsing out details to pick at, or judging the whole enterprise. I'm content to just roll along in the foggy unmoored morning of Jessie's mind and see where we go next.
Arkady71
Very curious
What exactly is Ashley up to? Surely she cannot want the old Jessie back? After all, she hated the old Jessie just as much as anybody. The old Jessie was a loathsome boy on a headlong rush to self destruction; imprisonment or, just as likely, death would have been the inevitable result of allowing Jessie to carry on as he was. So, I ask again, what is Ashley up to, what is she trying to achieve? It just doesn't make any sense, yet!
Love and cuddles,
Janice Elizabeth
Ashley's agenda?
I don't think she wants the old Jessie back. But it seems by the various comments, people are thinking only in extremes here. Either it's Jessie the bad-boy or Jessica, the extremely girly-girl!
What I think Ashley wants is to return some sense of 'person' to her friend. Right now, she sees the mind-control has totally robbed him of everything. Jessica is nothing more than a pre-programmed puppet that is more 'girl' than a GG like Ashley.
Jess couldn't even bring 'herself' to put on girls shorts and a t-shirt because the tapes told her dresses and skirts. The final line of the chapter, I think sums up Ashley's feelings about the extent of the forced transformation.
Jess has no memory or abilities unless those tapes tell him/her and it's seeing her friend stripped like that is what's scaring Ashley. She knows Jessica is here to stay, but she's determined to see a Jessica who's just a normal 'girl' and not the 'zombie' her grandmother seems to be striving for.
PB
Ashley?
Why the sudden change in Ashley's behaviour? Before, she was fond of Jessie's transformation ... and did everything to transform Jessie into Jessica, now, she wnts Jessie back? Does she also want his old personnality back? Doesn't really makes sense.
But, so far, a great story.
Just one more thing would it be posible to fix the chapters ordering so part 43 is at the end, not between part 9 and part 10 ?
Thanks
Mildred
Hint of maturity
To start with, it was a game to Ashley. Jessie was one of those odious boys, friends of her brother. Ashley is young and has a lot of growing up to do still. She took a juvenile delight in what was happening to Jessie, getting hers back for all the mean things her brother and his friends had done to her. But somewhere along the line she started to see Jessie, the person. The further along it went the more she became aware of what was being done to Jessie, and how wrong it was. The little girl has grown up a bit, and is showing some signs of respect for others, and that tells her this is all wrong.
Ashley is a young teen, barely more than a child, she can be excused to a degree for her actions. Jessie's mother and grandmother have no such excuse, they knew what they were doing is wrong.
They know they can survive
Jessie and Jason
The start of the story implied that Jason was just as bad as Jessie but in the latter chapters Jason seems kind and caring at least while around Jessica. Also we find out that both had been involved in soccer and baseball. Often times the solution to out of control kids is to keep them busy by getting them involved in activities such as sports.
I find these little details confuse the issue of the justification for such drastic actions on the part of Jessie's mother and grandmother.
Michelle B
Chapter Sequence
At the simplest, the way the system determines the order of the chapters is by the sort sequence of the chapter titles. The title for chapter 43 broke the style used in the other chapters by putting the part number in parenthesis instead of following a dash. When the chapter was linked into the story it's sort sequence caused it to fall between parts 9 and 10.
The system provides a facility to override the natural sort sequence which I used to put part 43 where it belongs. I hope this explains why you saw part 43 out of sequence.
I was forever bothering Erin with messages about unlinked or mis-linked story chapters. She eventually decided to shut me up by giving me the authority to fix these sort of things.
Michelle.
Michelle B
The fog is slowly clearing
What will become of Jessie? Already he feels more comfortable in girl clothing now that his mind has pretty much accepted it.
Hello AshleyTS!!! ^____^ ;-D
I have been following your story since it first became posted at FictionMania. It is a great story. I know I have made some comments there in the past. I decided to just read the story and enjoy the ride you have set up here. Of course, now we'll see how are interactions will be with Jason and the other boys. Will that change to a degree after a lift of the fog? That is going to be interesting. We see that Ashley has really begun to care what happens to Jessie. Does Jessie have any feelings for Ashley besides being a BFF, a best friend forever? We know she feels some what responsible also.
Well take care. It is going to be interesting that is for sure. Excellent writing AshleyTS. Thanks.
Rachel
Whew!
I thought this story was about to get de-railed after reading part 42. But now it seems to be back on a logical track.
I'm glad - I didn't want to be disappointed in this story, because it's been so good thus far.
Elizabeth
As I commented earlier, I don't understand Ashley's ...
... abrupt 180o change taking place in one day; she has known about the tapes and the brainwashing almost from the beginning. Also, the person she likes is Jessica; the only Jesse she knew is the one she hated. Wouldn't the thought have occured to her that if she turned off the tape that that Jesse might be back and that that might be a bad thing, even affecting her or others' physical safety ... or even his own safety?
I also don't understand why Ashley didn't even at least think about asking to borrow or copy the tapes to use on Jason, who was written initially (He seems to have changed to a nice guy.) as being as rotten as Jesse and, being her brother, a closer and more pervasive evil than Jesse to her I would think.
As far as mom and Grandma, while what they are doing is wrong, remember they were at the end of the line with Jesse , seeing nothing ahead but his death or long-term prison or both. They were offered a solution and like many, they took it because it was there, not bothering to think of other better but perhaps more diffuicult solutions - the girl tapes were available so they may not even have thought of male tapes for which they would have to have searched. The thought of complete identity death may not have occured to them in the beginning - after all the big "i'm a boy." to "I've always been a girl" switch manifested itself in the course of only one day and late in the procedings. (Although they seemed to have no problem with it when it happened.)
"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show
BE a lady!
NICE TWIST
I have enjoyed this saga from the beginning{although I read the begining elsewhere}. I was wondering when Jesse was to be told what was happening; I think the twist was well done. 'Sika