Boys' School - Chapter 6

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Chapter VI

 
 
 

     It was all anticlimactic. No one wore the skirts the next day. Although, as far as I know, no one told them they didn't need to. Everyone was nice enough, even if they seemed a little distant somehow. All except for Miss Lynn, who I had for two hours of chemistry that morning. She smiled like anything when she said hello, which made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my chest.

At lunch, my tray had only contained about twice as much food as I could eat. Comic amounts of food actually. A couple of the guys thought that was so funny they donated their deserts - just in case I got hungry. All were lime Jell-O, so they really weren't worth much more than the humor they could garner. It was kind of funny, I suppose.

I gave up early, and headed to the library to get some work done before my afternoon lecture but no sooner had I logged into the computer than I got the flag that I had three current messages.

The first, from Miss Lindsay, the office admin, that I had an appointment with the doctor at one. The second, from Cross, was the same message.
The third was from my dad:

                      Dear Chris

I have gotten several calls from your teachers and the school Administrator.

I am so very sorry to hear how our news has affected you. Believe me, Chris, this fault is wholly mine. Not yours, and certainly not your mother's. I can't really talk right now, because I'm on a plane on my way back to see your mother tonight. I promise, I will call you as soon as I can.

Also, I've told your Mrs. Pierce basically what you told me in your last note, that we appreciate Miss Lynn being there for you, and that we expect that they will continue to allow her to take you shopping or wherever she thinks best, if you both agree. I also told the Headmaster, that if you wanted to skip the dance this Saturday, that you had our permission to do so. They are not to require you to go, unless you want to Chris. I hope you do want to, but since I can't be there with you I will back you, whatever you decide.

I expect to be in a place where I will be able to call you in a few hours, right after I see your mother.

I know it's hard, given what we've done, but please try to remember your mother and I love you more than anything else, so please try to hang on just a little while longer. I Love you and your mother more than anything else.

Dad.

                      .

I looked at the screen for several minutes. Mostly because I was really surprised I wasn't crying. After everything that had happened, I just felt a little numb.

I moved the cursor to the blank part of the screen, and with one finger began to peck keys:

G E E . T H A N K S D A D .

I looked at it for a few moments with my finger over the return key, but it really wasn't the note I wanted to send. Slowly my finger moved up to the backspace key, and began to tap a soulful jazz rhythm.

I sat there a while, because the clock had moved toward one before I knew it. When I looked back, the screen showed 'I KNOW.'

I looked at it only a few minutes more, before I typed 'I LOVE YOU TOO.' I hit send, and gathered my stuff while the PC logged off, then headed to the class to drop off the work that was due, before I went to see Doctor Cross.

Of Doctor Cross, all I can say is that he is a great listener, but he seems to have an aversion for admitting that the Earth actually revolves around the Sun. He'd informed me that it would take three or four more sessions, until he is comfortable that he knows me well enough to be able to answer some of the questions I’d asked - but he is a great listener. He scribbles notes very fast too.

I was thinking about one thing he said, though. He said that most of the people he worked with knew what they wanted, but were afraid of it for some reason. He said that sometimes it takes a little time to figure out exactly what you want, but it was usually what you knew you needed all along.

I was passing by the office, when I got an inspiration for the first time that day, on account of my having no classes in the afternoon late in the week. I stopped at the window to the office, and filled out a slip requesting permission to leave the campus to do some Christmas shopping. I listed that I wanted to go for only a couple of hours, and put down my cell phone number. Then I filled out the same thing for Saturday morning, listing the dance as the reason, and dropping them both in the slot and onto the top of the rather large pile of sheets that already lay inside the box on a shelf just inside the window.

 
 

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     My eyes were wrong again. I wasn't even looking at my face as I washed it. Just my eyes.

I hadn't seen Miss Lynn since class but I was sure she would be running the tutorial with the dance only a few days away. I was so glad she was feeling better but wasn't sure I could go through with it.

“You're just being stupid,” I told my reflection. I hadn't even had a bad day but I just kept looking in the bathroom mirror like I might still find the answer there.

I really had a good day. I got to talk to Doctor Cross. He promised to answer my questions later, because he wanted to know more about me first, and I really understood his position. The problem was, I realized, that I didn't really care what Doctor Cross thought. I didn't even know him.

I did care what Miss Lynn thought because I could have ended her career, and sent her to work at the mall. Because of me, she might never have taught again, and that hurt me terribly. I'd never hurt anyone before, and after this, I sure wouldn't willingly take the chance of doing it again.

I cared what my dad thought, but he didn't seem to care as much about what I was thinking. He would call as soon as he could. He always did. Provided the meetings didn't run too long, and someone remembered to leave it on one of his bullet lists.

That wasn't fair, but it was just the way it was.

I could see the blue and white panties on the curtain rod in the mirror. I chose the white.

Tomorrow I'd have to get more, and some tights.

I didn't want to wear the black again, so I took the next skirt which was a very dark navy blue. Without another blouse, I had to dig to find something. I chose to wear a white turtleneck.

I had to shake my head at the idiot in the long mirror, when I recalled the conversation that I'd had with my father last summer, when he tried to explain to me that boys wore pink polo shirts. I'd thought it was a test at the time, so I'd refused, but the memory inspired me now and I dug in my drawers until I'd found a light cream colored sweater vest from my mother that I'd never worn and slipped that over the turtleneck.

I smiled a little, because that was much better. If I got too hot, I could always take the vest off, I thought, pulling the locket out of the turtleneck and laying it in the V of the vest.

The perfume and mascara were right where I'd left them, but this time I remembered to slip them in the little purse when I was done.

 
 

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     I was very early, again, and the lights were off in the theater, so I went around flipping switches, moving curtains and generally getting things ready. I was even able to spend time to find a softer, much better fitting pair of shoes, too. Two minutes told me they were much better than those I'd worn before and, after so many dances lately, I was grateful.

“Chris?” I heard the door close as she called up from in the seating.

“Good evening, Miss Lynn. You're early too.” I said, moving to the front of the stage to wait for her, since everything was ready.

She strode purposefully down the aisle toward me. “I thought I should be. The boys are in a bit of a panic now. I didn't really expect you to be here. Are you Okay?” She asked moving steadily closer as she stared at me, which I think accounted for the funny tone in her voice when she asked how I was.

“I'm fine, ma'am. Please don't worry about me.”

Neither of us said anything, until she was up the stairs, but she spoke as soon as her foot touched the wood of the stage.

“Chris. What are you doing?”

“I'm doing what I was asked. I'm doing what I promised you I would.”

She took be by the hand and pulled me around the corner of the stage behind the curtain.

“Chris, we don't have much time. The guys will be her any minute because they're really getting a little freaked out about the dance. I… I don't think you understand how worried everyone from the Headmaster on down are.”

“He doesn't have to worry about me. I'm fine.”

“You are not fine; he does have to worry about you. I'm worried about you. He likes you, Chris. A lot. He just can't ever show it but, I promise you, that when he heard what you were going through he was as upset and angry as I've ever seen him. The administrator too. Mrs. Pierce likes all you boys, more than she lets on, but I really get the impression that she thinks of you like one of her own. You do know how much they really like you, right?”

I nodded and mumbled that I did.

“Well they want to help you, Chris, but they just don't really know how yet. They're not your parents and there are only certain things they can do. You have to get hold of yourself.”

“I know that, Miss Lynn. I wouldn't upset any of them, or you, for anything.”

“God damn it,” she hissed, “I'm not really talking about them Chris, and you know it. I've seen your test scores and you had better get this 'I'm just being lil ol' me' act out of your system damned fast. They can't tell you that you can't wear a skirt and makeup to practice, because they already told you that you could, and because at this point it would probably violate their own non-discrimination policy. Nevertheless, Chris, they are also very afraid to tell you that you can't. They are really worried that you might be close.”

“I'm sorry. Really I am. I do understand. I'm just not sure if you or anyone else does, Miss Lynn.”

She was really looking at me now, still worried, and a little confused even.

“I'm not doing anything to worry you or anyone, Miss Lynn. I'll only wear the clothes for the dancing. The clothes aren't what's important anyway. They make me feel good, really good, but not so much that I'd keep doing it if it were going to hurt anything. I'm not doing it to upset anyone and, if you want me to go and change, I will. It's just… it's not my fault how I look in them. It's not my fault what people see.”

She really did look surprised. I knew she really understood more than everyone except perhaps for Mrs. Pierce, but I also knew that she would understand soon. She wasn't the kind to give up on anything before she figured it out.

She breathed out a heavy drawn-out sigh. “I get it, Chris. Honestly, I do. You just need to be careful how far you push everything so quickly. If the head could have ordered you to change immediately he would have. Not that he doesn't understand or sympathize, because he does understand, Chris, one hell of a lot more than you give him credit for understanding. He's just very worried you're ready to crack. You should give them a break.”

“Did you get into a lot of trouble?”

She sighed again, and nodded her head this time. “Not for trying to help you, because that's what I should do. Even if I were not so fond of you, which was what the Headmaster was afraid the board members might think.”

I asked, a little dully, "Are they involved."

She shook her head. "No, thank God. The head just wanted to have the answers ready if they should find out."

She shook her head again, and her expression softened a lot more than I'd have thought it could. “Did you really tell them I was more like a big sister? I was only trying to get you to smile, and maybe to talk to me. I didn't mean to brainwash you.”

“I did.”

“Well, if my little brother had been as nice as you, I'd have never been mean to him at all.”

“How much trouble were you in?” I asked again, because I was still worried for the trouble I'd caused her.

“Well like I said, they couldn't be mad about my being nice to you, because it's my job, and they encourage us to do that wherever we see the need. Then again, when I went to them on Monday night and told them almost everything, because I was so worried about you too, they were not happy about anything I said. The clothes, well they were part of the dance program, and this school has a long history of boys wearing girls clothes for plays and such, so they could be disappointed, but they couldn't be mad about that either. The one part that truly pissed them off, was that I took you off campus dressed in girl’s clothes. I think that's why Doctor Pope and Mrs. Pierce wanted to have everything examined, in case any of the governors found out. He wanted to have the answers ready, so he could protect us both.”

I felt so bad. “I'm so sorry. I knew it was dumb at the time but I really wanted to go with you.”

“I did too. Moreover, Chris, if I had to do it all over again, I'd have tried a little brighter lipstick on you, because I just thought you looked adorable. Other than that, I'd do the same thing again. Seeing you happy for the first time was worth it.

"Still, they were really pissed, and if it were not for Mrs. Pierce sticking up for me, saying that I did the best I could in a bad situation. I might have lost my job. Even the appearance or suggestion of something askew in a place like this; you just don't do that.”

“I am sorry but, you should know, when we were laughing and joking and talking, it felt really good. The nicest anything's felt for a long long time.”

She smiled as she reached out to adjust the locket on the front of my shirt.

“I know, and it's even more than that, Chris. What I told the Headmaster was, that until I saw you laughing and smiling on Friday, I had never actually realized how depressed you've been. You are always nice and polite, you work so very hard, and you're so even tempered… how could I know that you were really so depressed for so long. I couldn't believe the change. No Chris, the one thing I'm very sure of is that you don't need to apologize. I'm glad we went.”

“Thank you, Miss Lynn. I was so scared for you. That means so much, and I'll never forget what you did for me, or the risk you took.”

“You are welcome, but I have to ask you to do one more thing for me. I need you to hold on and be a little more patient. Give them a little time to find out how to make you feel better. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with what you've done because I really can't bring myself to feel that there is. You're just young, and it's easy to forget that it's not always about you. I was lucky. I learned that lesson very early, from my family any time when I knew or understood something that they didn't. Sometimes I just had to go slower until they caught up. I really, really believe that you have to do that now too. Okay?”

I didn't answer at first, but I really didn't want to make her unhappy because I could never have stood to see the same kind of disappointment on her face that had been on the headmaster's.

“I'll be careful.” I promised. “I'll be tough.”

She looked at me a little worried for a few seconds but then she said, “Thank you, Chris.”

She looked like she wanted to talk some more, but the door banged loudly, and then it banged again. The guys were early. It's funny how an imminent crisis can make you want to do things that you never thought you would ever have the courage to do in your life.

I stood on the stage and sorted the CDs on the table while everyone gathered. Even though it was still twenty minutes early, when there were six of us there, Miss Lynn took pity and started us off.

“Okay!” She was smiling at their earnest looks. “So, who still feels like they are really worried?”

Even I smiled, since there were more hands in the air than there were people present.

“Okay, Okay. Put your hands down. I get the point. Looks like we'll have to go alphabetically. Ah, let me see… Jerry.”

“M-My name is L-Langley, Ma'am.”

“I said we'd go alphabetically, Mister Langley. I didn't say I wouldn't start in the middle.”

“Wa-why me ma'am? I passed in my labs.”

“I know… and we'll talk about that later. You look the most frightened.”

That got his classmates to show their sympathy and appreciation. Not.

Miss Lynn raised her voice just loudly enough to cut across the din. “The racks back there are full of tutus and bridesmaid dresses and all manner of things much funnier than you are being required to endure right now. Just keep it up.”

They were a much more serious bunch when she finished staring at each of them in turn..

“Now listen, I know you are all nervous but you don't have to be. I promise. If you'll just work with me a little, you will do just fine at the dance. I'll even go so far as to say that I am now quite sure that you will all have a nice time.”

She smiled to reassure them, and I think it worked.

“Jerry?” She held out her hands.

Well, her smile worked on everyone, except of course, Jerry. It was bad enough about the dance but he always stammered around Miss Lynn on a good day. I think she was the only one who didn't know that he didn't actually have a speech impediment.

I felt so bad for him, I was talking before I knew it. “Ma'am, may I? Jerry?” I said, as I walked over to stand right in front of him. “You're too nervous. This is easy, you just don't like dancing with the boys, do you?”

“Heck No.” he smiled a little, forgetting he was afraid of me too.

“Look at me. Now put your hand on my hip right here.” I said patting my hipbone before reaching down and taking his hand, and turning it in mine to the proper position “Come on. I don't have anything the doctors could find… a little closer… not that close, Jerry. Listen, I've never been on a date either but I'm pretty sure you are supposed to let the girl lean into you when she's ready. If you do that at the dance, they'll be creeped-out as bad as you are right now.”

He smiled as he relaxed. “Good, that's much better. You just relax now, Jerry. I've danced with you, and so has Miss Lynn. You really are a better dancer than I am but, man, you are working on being the first sophomore at Saint Andrew's to die of a heart attack unrelated to Professor Tam's Latin theses.”

I looked over at the guys, who were just staring expressionlessly at us. I asked, “Can someone hit play, please?”

“You ready?” I spoke more softly to him.

He nodded, and said. “You smell really nice, Chris.”

Some of the guys chortled at that one.

“Jerry, it won't do us any good if you make me nervous too. Pay attention now… but, that's something you can do that at the dance. It’s nice, so thank you.”

The first strains began to play, and I asked again. “All set?”

He nodded again, looking down to make sure his feet were not on my hem, just like we'd been taught.

“Good. Whenever you are ready.” I said, and I closed my eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing, Jerry. You're a good dancer. Don't worry, I'll follow wherever you lead me, just don't dance us off the stage. Would you rather I stare at you?”

“No!”

“Good, you're not exactly good looking anyway.” I told him.

“What?!”

“It's nothing to worry about.” I assured him. “There are plenty of very successful silly looking people.”

“Look who's talking.”

“Fine.”

“I just get nervous!” He claimed.

“No problem. Whenever you're ready, Jerry. Un-less you-just want-to hold-hands?” I said to the tempo of the music that had well begun, and then I just waited serenely.

On the next up beat, I felt Jerry push gently against my hip as he pulled slightly on my hand.

I only had my eyes closed for a few seconds but by then Jerry was fine. He was actually grinning at me for being such an idiot. So much so, that he forgot to be nervous at all.

I don't believe, judging by the look on her face, that Miss Lynn knew what to think but she was soon working with a boy of her own.

We drifted to a stop just as the music died. He was grinning as the other boys gave us a polite if enthusiastic golf clap.

“Thanks, Chris.” He mumbled.

I leaned a little closer and whispered. “With those moves, and that handsome face, Jerry, you are going to kill 'em. You might even avoid a virgin death.”

It was nice to see someone else blush for a change.

I looked around, and was worried that Miss Lynn was still watching me with a blank face, but I was sure she didn't want to say anything, so I turned to get another boy.

“Jacob.” I walked over and held out my hand to the tallest boy. My being one of the smallest, it was kind of funny, so everyone had two reasons to laugh, including the look in his face. “You have good rhythm, too. You just remember to take smaller steps, so that you don't squish anyone. There will be a lot of the little people on the dance floor. If you take your time, you'll be okay too”

Others were entering now, the confident ones like Tom, but I ignored them. I had to lift my arms up higher than normal, but I managed as I stood in position and looked over my shoulder at Miss Lynn.

She glanced at me and then nodded at the boy with the remote.

They really didn't need to worry. They all did much better than they had a week ago and the dances just seemed to follow one after the other as soon as we could change partners, sometimes in mid waltz.

Tom then asked me for the next dance, instead of waiting, which cause me to smile and blush while calling him a jerk.

We were ending the fifth dance when someone in the audience area began to applaud.

Mrs. Pierce stood up from where she had been sitting by the aisle, the fourth row back. “That was… impressive.” She said while looking at me.

I had no idea how long she'd been there and I wanted to look at the floor.

She didn't give me the chance. “Miss Lynn, I'm sorry to leave you short-handed, but I need to have a word with, Chris.”

“Of course.” Miss Lynn replied.

I could not help but stare straight back at Mrs. Pierce, watching me as I had to lift my skirt to walk down the stairs.

“My office, Chris.” she said softly, before raising her voice. “I'm sorry boys, but you should know that you are all doing very well indeed. I am very impressed. Miss Lynn.”

She caught up to me where I was waiting just outside the door, in the hall.

“Chris, don't look so worried.” She said, patting my shoulder but not smiling at all.

“I'm sorry, ma'am. I don't think Miss Lynn was very happy with me either.”

“What? Why?” Mrs. Pierce stopped, causing me to, also.

I just lifted my skirt a few inches and let it drop.

“Oh. I see.” She shook her head. “Chris, is that why you think I came to get you? Because of how you were dressed?”

I could only nod, hoping that my eyes weren't as big as they felt as I looked up at her. I swear I could feel them drying out before she shook her head.

“No, Chris. We need to call your father back. He called about thirty minutes ago, which gives us only about ten more to place the call to him.”

“He said he would but I guess he couldn't reach me.” I said, feeling only slightly better.

“Not at all, Chris. He called me before he tried you.”

“Is anything wrong, ma'am?”

She smiled a little for the first time but it wasn't any of the smiles I was used to. She just looked worried, but she quickly gave me her usual straightforward answer just the same.

“Yes there is, Chris. The same old thing, but I'm doing everything I can to get it straightened out as quickly as I can.”

“Did I do something wrong, ma'am?”

“Well it's good to see you still worry about that just a little… but no, Chris. You haven't. This has nothing to do with you really, except for the fact that when parents make any kind of mistake, it's always the younger folks in the family who take the brunt of it. When Doctor Pope or I make a mistake, it's always some of you who get the brunt, I'm sorry to say. You can't expect it to be any different at your home.”

“I think this is my home.” I said, not sounding nearly as sad as I'd intended, because I was too worried.

“That's what I'm trying to fix. Now come on, we have to get a move on.”

“Yes, ma'am.” I said immediately but I had to hurry to keep up.

“That was very impressive with Jerry.” She surprised me.

“You saw that, ma'am?”

“I see most things that matter, Chris, and that was one of the nicest.”

“He's just shy, ma'am, but he's really about the nicest boy here.”

“I see that too. He's also frightened to death of one very beautiful chemistry professor I can name.”

I'm sure my eyes grew wide again.

“That one was easy, Chris. I wish they all were.”

“She hates being called 'Professor'.” I said softly.

“I did too, when I was younger. It grows on you, however. Just about the time you figure out the way things work around here, and that it's the headmaster who's going to have to get the phone call about Jerry Casanova Langley from Saint Mary's, because you've just created a monster, that you start to look back pretty fondly at being called 'Professor' Pierce. Even if you take into account the nicknames. Now hurry. I spent way too much time watching you.”

 
 

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     It made me feel a little weird when Mrs. Pierce took the seat beside me, and reached for the phone, but the second she did, I knew I wanted her to stay.

The woman on the other end of the phone spoke, French, which I understood pretty well because of Mom. Mrs. Pierce sounded like the French Ambassador to the United Nations.

'Apology. It's too late to place a call to a patient room. So very sorry, nothing I can do.'

Mrs. Pierce informed her it was to the doctor's office, not a room.

'Can't place the call this late, but can take message.'

Mrs. Pierce told her, very very nicely, that the international call was expected by her hospital director, and, if she didn't put us through immediately, the only thing she'd be taking was a place in the ranks of the unemployed. I'm pretty sure.

A phone was ringing about a second later and a man answered only a couple of seconds after that by saying "Hello", also in French.

To me, she said. “Chris, this is Doctor Rudolph Merz, the director of the hospital, at your mother's clinic outside of Biel. Doctor Merz, it’s Mrs. Pierce, from the Saint Andrew's school.”

Doctor Merz responded in English, but he had a heavy German accent, which didn't seem to bother Mrs. Pierce any more than it did me.

“Thank you for calling back so quickly, Mrs. Pierce. It's quite late here, but we thought it best not to wait. Is Chris there?”

Mrs. Pierce told them I was.

“Chris?” My father spoke.

“Dad?”

“Yes, I'm here. I'm sorry to do this to you, Chris. If I could have gotten on a plane out tonight, I would have, but it's snowing like crazy. Bern, Zurich, Basel. Everything in range is shut down and, with the trains delayed, anything that can still fly is just too far in topography like this.”

“I understand.” I said, having to swallow between each word to get it out. “What's going on, Dad? Is mom…”

Mrs. Pierce looked calm when she broke in forcing me to look at her as she whispered. “She's not hurt, Chris. It's a clinic, not a hospital.”

“Dad?” I said, trying to keep my voice under control, but it was no use. The pitch was already too high.

The line went dead silent for several seconds, and then there was a little pop followed my father's voice talking quickly. “… the hell you will. I've listened to everyone for two years about what was best and I've gone along with whatever you said. I have a son in trouble now and he deserves to hear it from me or his mother…”

There was a pause in which you could actually hear my dad staring at the doctor. “Chris?”

“I'm still here, Dad.”

“Chris, listen to me. Like I said, this is something that I wanted to tell you in person but I just can't make it tonight. It's not a really bad thing, so I don't want you to get upset, but I still don't want you to have to wait any more. This whole thing was stupid from the jump, so I'm going to tell you now over the phone and I want you to just listen carefully to what I have to say.”

“Okay.” I said, just as frightened as when I thought Mom had been hurt.

“Chris, do you remember that last summer, about three years ago when Mom and I went down to New York to visit my friend, and to take in a couple of plays?”

“Yes sir. You came home the next day.”

“That's exactly right, Chris. That was the time that we were walking to the cars and we were about to get mugged by some kids on the street, when the cop car just showed up.”

“I remember, Dad. Mom was really upset, and you guys came home early. You guys already told me about this. Is Mom there with you, Dad?”

“Not yet, Chris, she's coming. I wanted to talk to you first. But that is right, that's the night I was talking about. I'm sorry to say that that was not the first time that something like that happened to your mother.”

“Sir?” I wanted to ask more, but that was all I got out.

“You remember that your mother spent most of her teenage years in schools, like you…”

I grunted, and started to confirm that I knew all of this, but dad ignored me.

“So, even though she had been all over the world, most of the time she really led a very sheltered existence.”

I suddenly felt my eyes filling up and I didn't even know why.

“About a year before I met her, your mother was walking back to her apartment one evening when she was attacked by a group of punk kids.”

“Oh no,” I whispered. Barely a whisper.

Mrs. Pierce had her hand on my shoulder, only this time she was rubbing it, but I hardly even noticed.

“Well they... they hurt her, Chris. She spent almost a month in the hospital, just because of the damage they did, and although they caught the little bastards, they didn't do near enough to them for what they did to your mother. Ever since then, she's always been uncomfortable around young men she doesn't know.”

“Dad…” It just came out.

“So you see, Chris, when that thing happened in New York, she just ...”

I started to cry now. It felt like my insides were being ripped out and I could hardly breathe at all.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“She didn't want anyone to know, Chris. Especially you. You were too young and no woman would want it to be common knowledge. She started getting worse and by that September...” He paused.

I started to sob freely now. I knew. I finally understood.

Dad was talking fast and most earnestly now. “Chris It wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything…”

“The pool?… Dad? Did I hurt her?” I couldn't see or get anything else out because of the sobs.

“Chris? Chris….” He kept trying but I couldn't hear him until he said very loudly, “With all due respect, shut up… Yeah, I know it's your God damned phone, but I paid for all the things. Chris?”

I made a noise that was more a noise a wounded animal would make than a word. I'd hurt her, and she…

“Chris, Please listen…”

I moaned, not hearing him at all, “Please God, no Dad. I'm so sorry. I…”

“You didn't hurt your mother Chris. It wasn't anything you did. She loves you, and she knows how much you love her. She knows” Dad's voice sounded like he was crying too. “This is why she didn't want you to know, Chris," he finished helplessly.

He took several seconds before he continued.

“She was just frightened. That was the problem, Chris. She knew you'd never hurt her, and she loves you twice as much as anyone else, even me. She just couldn't control it. She panicked, and when she swung at you, and she couldn't stop herself, it scared her so bad she cried for days.

"As you grew older… you got bigger. Chris, she didn't even want you to know, because she knew how badly it would hurt you. She begged and begged me, she made me promise never ever to let you know, because it wasn't you. She wasn't really afraid of you, or of anything else as much as she was afraid of hurting you. That's what you need to remember.”

“She's afraid of me now!” I whined, even though I'd tried to ask more clearly.

Mrs. Pierce pulled me to lean against her as I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't have to stare at the phone any more.

“Not you Chris.” Mrs. Pierce whispered to me.

Dad started talking again. “That's right. It never was you, Chris. It was those others, who if there is any justice, will rot in hell forever. As you grew older, your mother just felt more nervous. She didn't even tell me about that for over a year.”

He sounded so bad

“Chris?” My dad asked. “Chris?”

Mrs. Pierce answered for me. “He hears you, Mr. Morgan.” Her voice had lost its softness, and only sounded angry. “We may have to cut this short.”

I found my voice then, crying just as hard. “No! I need to speak to my mother,” I told her. Then to the phone. “Where's mom, Dad? I need to talk to her. Please!”

“I know, Chris. She's right outside the door, but Chris, I need you to calm down before I can bring her in. She's already feeling so bad, and so guilty… about what I've done to you… You have to be strong Chris. For Mom.”

“What?” I heard my stomach knot up, even as I heard myself ask in a flat tone. “Be strong?”

“Chris…” Mrs. Pierce said, trying to get my attention, but it was only about three years too late.

I shouted at the phone. “What for?! Is that really your whole fucking plan, Dad! No matter what, I'm just supposed to be…”

Mrs. Pierce pulled my arm, and made me look at her. She wasn't even mad. There were tears in her eyes too, which silenced me, as she was shaking her head to tell me not to. My head was on her shoulder before I knew it.

It was several minutes, and a bottle of water, before I could even begin to compose myself..

“Chris?” It was my mother.

She didn't sound anything like her other calls. The deadpan, pleasant little responses were gone. She was crying too.

“Mom? Are you Okay?” Another sob escaped me, and kept me from saying how much I missed her.

“No Chris. I wouldn't let them give me any medicine tonight so I could talk to you. I've been so worried about you. I miss you so much and when your father told me about how bad you've been feeling. I can't sleep, or eat…”

“Mom.” I gasped when I'd taken in enough air. “I'm so sorry, you don't have to be afraid of me, I'm not like…”

“Chris?” She had to call my name again and again to get me to stop apologizing and to pay attention. “I'm the one who's sorry. I know….”

She just stopped then. We both did.

My dad spoke into the phone to me. “Chris, I don't know if we can ever make this up to you. I don't think we ever can, but I promise you we will all try.”

My mother spoke then, more clearly than she had before, but obviously not to me. “I want you to go get my son!”

“I wil --” The line went dead with another little pop. My mouth was hanging open as I stared at the phone in horror. It was several seconds before I heard the second pop, and my mother say: “… and what's more, doctor, you're fired. Don't you ever cut off a call to my son again. Chris? Chris, honey?”

She sounded so much like her old self, I couldn't help myself. “Mom? Is that really you?”

“Oh God, Chris, yes. It's Mummy. I needed to tell you, I'm so sorry.”

“Mom, please don't. I understand.”

“NO! You don't, Chris, just listen to me. The things at school. Because I was so scared. It's my fault. If I'd encouraged you more to be like other boys… I'm the one who wanted you to like music and art, and to just be nicer. It's my fault. You were always so smart and so sweet, and I was so proud of you.”

“Mom?”

It took several seconds for what she was saying to sink in, and she was finished talking before it did.

“Mom?” I tried to get her to talk to me again.

“Yes Chris?” She sounded so tired, and so sad.

“That's not your fault.”

“Chris, I'm sorry, but I didn't realize what I was --”

“Mom, That's not your fault. Here at school. It has nothing to do with you.”

It sounded like she wasn't crying any more. “I'm Sorry, Chris. I really am. About everything, and we will talk about it when I see you. Please don't cry any more sweetheart. I've cried enough for all of us. I love you so much, and I'm so sorry you've been so alone.”

“I'm not alone, Mom. Mrs. Pierce, she looks after us. Doctor Pope is a lot like you said your grandfather was, he's funny, and he's always nice, even though he tries so hard not to show it. Miss Lynn…” I choked up.

“I know they are wonderful people, but I miss you too much to care about them now, Chris. Now I really have to go. It's so late here, and I have such a terrible headache. I will see you soon, so please don't cry any more. Everything will be better soon. Your father and I promise.”

“Okay.” I promised, sure that I'd cry the rest of the night.

“Mom?”

“Yes Chris?”

“Is it nice where you are?” I asked, choking up again, because this suddenly hurt worse than anything else. I just suddenly hated to think of her locked up in some awful castle looking place. “Are you happy there?”

“It's very pretty, Chris. My apartment looks over an Arm der Schá¼ss. It's part of the Suze River. It's more like a canal than like the rivers back home, but it's very pretty in the winter. I can see a little of Lake Biel from the top floor, and your father and I go there to walk sometimes. It's all very pretty, but I can never be happy until I can see you. Now, I want you to try and get some rest. Good night Chris. I love you so much.”

“I Love you too mom.” I tried to keep her from knowing I was still weeping, almost uncontrollably, but it was hard. “Dad?”

“Right here Chris.”

“I'm sorry, Dad. I love you too.”

“Me too, Son. It wasn't much of a plan. I'll see you soon.”

“Okay. Night.” I said, short of breath.

German accent broke in “Before you promise something so foolish, you should consider…”

"What are you talking about?" My father snapped at him, but Mrs. Pierce interrupted them both rather forcefully.

“Doctor Merz?”

Sounding even more German than before, he answered. “Yes Mrs. Pierce?”

“Two quick things Doctor. The first is that Chris, an extraordinarily polite and gifted child, is still listening. The second is that although I'm sure you've achieved many impressive degrees and certificates from all the best schools from Stockholm to Barcelona, in my broad experience of people, I just have to say you are quite possibly the biggest ass I've ever encountered and I've had the misfortune to have encountered a rather large and distinguished cross section from that particular list.”

There was a strangling sound for several seconds “I beg your…?” He gurgled.

Mrs. Pierce, responded even more quickly. “Oh! I'm sorry. Let me help you understand in some languages you are perhaps more comfortable with. Un á¢ne. Ein Esel. I'm sure I could give you a rough translation in Russian and Japanese as well if those would be helpful doctor, but here in America we just call people like you, an Ass.”

“Ube--”

She hit the button cutting the call, before she looked at me. “I'm pretty sure, that if he had anything worthwhile to say, it would have taken him less than two years to get around to it.”

She was still looking at me, as she handed me another tissue, and took one for herself. All I could do was to look back, too emotionally wrung out to be in shock.

“I'd love to sick Miss Lynn, and her judo on that guy. Don't you dare repeat that, Chris.”

“No, ma'am.”

“Are you Okay?”

“Yes ma'am. I just can't believe they didn't tell me.”

She nodded and looked at her hands for several moments.

“That's the problem with all lies, Chris. Even if they start for the best of reasons, they tend to grow and take on a life of their own. I've done it myself. Very seldom, but I have. I've regretted it every time because, in the end, it always caused more problems than it would have caused to have just told the truth.”

She looked at me again, for several more moments. “You will too, in your time. Even though you now know, much better than most, the damage it can cause. It's what it is to be human. Right now, it's just your parent’s turn. I'm sure two years ago, this was only supposed to be a matter of a few weeks, or a month at most.”

I nodded.

“Are you hungry, Chris? Do you want me to wake up the kitchen staff?”

“No ma'am.” I smiled weakly. “They have to get up early. If you don't mind, ma'am, I'm feeling very tired. I'd just like to go to bed.”

“I'm headed that way, myself. I'll walk you.”

She didn't say anything more as we walked toward my wing and, with her hand on my arm, up the stairs. There were one or two kids in the hall, and even more in the library, but most just steered clear while watching me through the corners of their eyes. Only one brave one, even said hello.

In my room, I sat on the bed, and was looking at my feet when Mrs. Pierce bent down to pull off my shoes, and when I lay down to put my head on the pillow, she laid a quilt my mother had sent over me.

I watched her for a little while, looking around my room. She hung up the shirt on the doorknob, and then the skirts on the door. In the bathroom, she seemed to be looking at the clothing drying on the rod, and going through the makeup and things, She tidied up in there as well, before she came back out and sat to log into my computer.

 
 

Boy_s_zip.png

 
 

      ... No John, She's just very tired. She practically passed out.”

“She?” He asked.

“Well you heard what Doctor Cross said just as well as I did, but however you think is best. I'm sure he'll be fine then. Poor kid may be as tough as any adult but he has just had the stuffing knocked out of him.”

Mrs. Pierce was sitting in my chair, with a book in her lap. A man in blue jeans and a tweed jacket…, oh God, Doctor Pope!

“Headmaster.” I tried to get up, but he wouldn't let me.

That's when I realized the nurse was standing in the door, packing up her stuff in a small bag.

He spoke softly but cheerfully. “I'm sorry Chris. I didn't mean to wake you.”

“Sir, I…”

“Don't worry, Chris. It's a social call. I just wanted to check on you. How are you feeling?”

“I'm fine, sir. My mother was in a mental hospital.”

He sighed and nodded his head.

As promised, he just took a breath, and started in. “We had a letter almost two years ago, from the doctor in charge, saying that it might do irreparable harm to you and your mother if we interfered. Your father told me that he felt he had no choice but to follow the advice. That's where Mrs. Pierce went that second Christmas, to see your family. I argued with him about it too, several times. Damned silly business, if anyone asked me, but our hands were tied. Practically had to sit on Mildred to keep her from strangling people, especially that next time your father visited. With that letter in hand, however, our options were nil. We didn't know what we could do, and Doctor…” He looked at Mrs. Pierce, and frowned.

“Did you really call him an ass?”

“In three languages. I wanted to be sure he understood.”

He chuckled at her, but looked back down at me. “Anyway, if it had just been your father's wishes, we'd have told you, and given him our lawyer's second cousin's wrong number. With that letter from the doctor, though, we had no way at all of knowing if it would actually do the very real harm he said it would. He is, after all, one of the best known and best respected Psychiatric Asses in Europe. Believe me, that was one of the first things I checked. I'm so very sorry, Chris.” The man looked like he wanted to cry too.

I tried to get up again, feeling much more discomfort just then at having the headmaster leaning over my bed, than I felt over some silly doctor, who Mrs. Pierce had already told off in style anyway.

“No, no Chris. You just relax. Big day for anyone. On top of everything else, you deserve to rest a bit at least. I just wanted to check on you... you know, to keep Mrs. Pope happy, and on the off chance that you were awake, to tell you how very sorry I am for my part in all of this.”

Mrs. Pierce said. “I'm sorry too.”

He looked at her very differently then. “No you're not. This was me.”

I didn't try to get up because he was rubbing my arm through the sleeve of the turtleneck. My vest had disappeared.

“Don't worry, Headmaster. I'm sorry I said I was mad at you. I'm not mad any more. Even when I said that, I never believed you did anything. It was that doctor,” I still felt I had to be honest with him, and I very much wanted to, “ ... and my parents. My dad especially for believing his…”

I couldn't say it. Not in front of the headmaster, and not in front of Mrs. Pierce, especially after what they had both already done for me.

“Very mature, Chris, and I understand your meaning. I'd have let it slide just this once, though, because what you think it was, is what I think it was. Mrs. Pierce wasn't quite so nice. Are you going to be Okay?”

“Yes sir. I don't need a suicide watch or anything. It's not like that. It's just the thought of my poor mother…” That hurtful image of her being locked someplace horrible stopped me, but I believed that Dad would never let that happen.

He nodded, and looked at the floor for a second before looking back at me.

“If you want, I'd be happy to take you to the hospital, and have them check you out. Not because I think you are a candidate for a suicide watch, Chris, but because we care about you. No one should have to deal with this. Especially not someone your age. If there is any way I can help, I will.”

“I know, sir. I'm fine now. My dad will come soon, and we'll talk then. Thank you for that.”

He nodded, and I looked up at Mrs. Pierce.

“And thank you too, ma'am.”

“My pleasure, Chris. I'm not sure if your father will be in shape to fly back, when I've…”

The headmaster looked at her, and she just stopped to look at the backs of her fingers.

“You get some sleep.” He said. “I've excused you from your classes for today and tomorrow. You got another 4.0 on your surprise Latin quiz today, by the way. Congratulations.”

I looked at the clock. It was after twelve. I couldn't help it. I grinned.

“There you are. If you still feel up to going out tomorrow, I'd like you to take someone with you. Otherwise, and unless you are one-hundred, and I do mean one-hundred percent, I'd like you to stay here.”

“I'm really fine, sir. I'm going to get to see my mother and father after all. I'm much better than fine.”

He looked at Mrs. Pierce.

Mrs. Pierce just held up the book a little. “I'll be here for a little while longer. I never realized that neutrinos morph between two forms as they travel from the sun to the earth. Fascinating.”

“Don't stay up all night, Mildred. I need you tomorrow, to get the reception hall opened up and that circus organized. More damned silly business.”

She nodded. “I just think he needs… someone right now.”

The Head patted her hand, and we both watched him go. After that, Mrs. Pierce smiled at me before picking up the book…

 
 

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My very special thanks to Geoff for his invaluable time and advice.

 
 
 
By

Sarah Lynn Morgan

[email protected]

 
 

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Comments

Excellent chapter Sarah

I'm really enjoying how you are moving this story.

Well done indeed.

Kate
"While the rest of the human race are descended from monkeys, redheads derive from cats."

Kate
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." William Gibson

Hi Kate

Isn't that "is descended" ?
LoL

Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Don't...

...start the dialect wars over collective nouns and T. Just... Don't. That should be a rule of something. Not the internet, per se. Just something. >.< [/linguist who has seen too many "professional" arguments over that one]

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

How About

the triumph of technique over purpose.

Aha! The light begins to

Aha! The light begins to dawn... it wasn't anything Chris did in the pool himself, it was a flashback to something else.
Eagerly awaiting more...

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

Sad

This has been a very nice story but with some tearing parts. I am looking forward to the ending.
Hilltopper

Gina_Summer2009__2__1_.jpgHilltopper

Sniffle!

Goodness. Go ahead and tear my heart out while you're at it!

You do have a way of making me cry, don't you?

A lot.

Catch her if you can

terrynaut's picture

All the adults are still playing catchup. Will they ever catch Chris? Will she wait for them to catch up?

I like the dancing lesson. I still think the boys are unusually well-behaved but what do I know. *giggle*

I'm glad Dr. Ass was finally put in his place. People make mistakes, even those with PhDs. *sigh*

The drama is drawn out like a string of nine beautiful pink freshwater pearls, courtesy of Sarah.

Thanks!

- Terry

Clues?

“ ... No John, She's just very tired. She practically passed out.”

“She?” He asked.

“Well you heard what Doctor Cross said just as well as I did, but however you think is best. I'm sure he'll be fine then. Poor kid may be as tough as any adult but he has just had the stuffing knocked out of him.”

... not to mention the headmaster's reaction to Chris's appearence, whenever he saw 'her'.

Besides knowing about Chris' mother, you get the idea they know about Chris?

Certainly after Mrs. Pierce saw the clothes and make-up, there was no doubt in her mind. She would've had to have reached the conclusion that Amy wasn't responsible for everything Chris had.

Also, Amy's reaction to Chris before and during the dance lessons....

PB

I really pitty those that chose not to continue reading this...

...story after only reading the beginning or part of the beginning chapter. It is a good sign that they didn't comment and condemn the entire story because they didn't like a little something in the story that turned them off.

This is one of those stories that if you don't read it to the end, you'll never understand what the author has created and freely given to all.

Sarah, you continue to hit the hearts of most of the readers and make them ponder as they eagerly await the next chapter. Some people are compelled to criticize in their silly way from the first chapter and continue to criticize until they themselves are criticized. Giggle, giggle.

There must be a lessen in that.

Huggles Sarah another great chapter girl!

"Be Your-Self, So Easy to Say, So Hard to Live!"

I'm sure Folks who like this kind of story will.

I always get tons of support from the folks here, Angel. Most folks who
can take the kind of sweet stories I like to write are really good about
finding the time to read my things. Amazing really, because there are
so many stories, and people are so busy these days.

As for Comments, I don't think I've gotten a single bad comment at all.
One person did have a cool reaction to the first part, but then they took
the time to not only read on, and to change their mind, but also to tell
every one they had. To my mind, that's a pretty freaking awesome response.

I hope folks will read to the end too, and even though it's a long story
for folks who are working and such, I think they are. I'm very grateful to
say, that that's what the numbers look like to me. I'm very pleased that I
honestly believe that the end will be worth it. You see. When I wrote
this story, the last line was the very first one I put on the screen. All
the rest were simply to get me there.

Thank you everyone. I can honestly say that I've loved every comment, and
the way so many of you always seem to look out for me. It's why this place
is like a family, and what makes this silly hobby so much fun.

A profoundly grateful,
Sarah Lynn

I didn't know that.

You see. When I wrote this story, the last line was the very first one I put on the screen. All the rest were simply to get me there.

I've seen the last line (how could I not?) and Sarah's right it is a very good line. I liked it a lot.

Let's see if anyone else agrees. The last line is ... arrgh arrgh Sarah! Sarah! you're strangling me. Take that garotte from my neck ... please. I promise to keep quiet - honestly, I will.

Geoff ;)

now read on

God Sarah! No complaints ever? GEEZE!

Yeah, I saw what that commenter said and it blew me away! So cool and so rare!

Anyway, you go oh Magnificent One! You are too humble though, it drives me nutso crazy!

Giggle, giggle.

Huggles dear friend

"Be Your-Self, So Easy to Say, So Hard to Live!"

I Loved What Mrs Pierce Did

jengrl's picture

I loved how Mrs Pierce told off that arrogant jerk of a doctor and I am glad that the truth finally came out at last. It is a shame that Chris had to suffer all those years thinking her parents didn't care about her. The sad part is that all those years were stolen away and can never be given back. It will take a long time to repair the damage from all of the lies that were told. I am just hoping that both parents learn their lesson about keeping secrets and lies. I hope that her father gets her mother away from that place and sues that quack for all he is worth.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Very powerful

This is one of three relatively recently begun serials running now that have each taken things in a different direction from what I've been reading here and elsewhere over the past few years.
I'm enjoying all of them.
Excellent work, Sarah.

I wonder how many more I'm missing because there just hasn't been time to read everything? I know there are several more I intend to look at, and a few that have been recommended that I haven't gotten to.

It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,
David Weber – In Fury Born

Holly

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Holly

There. I caved in.

I was determined to not read chapter 1. through 8, before chapter 9 was posted. I would tough it out all the way, until the complete story was available, and I could read it all at once. That's how I like it, I just like to sit back, start to read, and gradually descend into my monitor till the whole of the story envelops me, overwhelms me, and I sort of live in it. Hm. I guess most of us do :)

And I do it in abundance, with glee, and the more the merrier, the larger the story, the more I can indulge myself.You could say I am a glutton that way. And I like a full course more than snacking.

But I couldn't help myself, and just had to read the first chapter. And the next. And so on, till here. It's a wonderful story, and it truly moves me to tears. It's sweet, and at times very funny, and although it's a little chaotic at times, it's a joy to read. In a way I'm sorry to not read it in one go, but on the other hand it's very rewarding to be able to comment on it while not knowing what's to come next.

Thanks very much Sarah, I love it.

Jo-Anne

Forget our complaints on cliff hangers

Chris had a cliff hanger for three years. Now the truth finally comes out.

Hello Sarah!!! ^____^ ;-D

It's amazing what someone will do to keep a secret, thinking it is the right thing to do. We think we are helping the other person by not knowing the truth. But they become torn in doubt and agony when it is not their fault. There are a few like that for me.

I lost a cousin due to an accident by a friend of his. They were using the ATV's on the trail. When they came out, my cousin was first exiting the trail. However, it ended near a major road. His friend did not stop in time and pushed him out onto the road. He died when a car came by. Why did I tell that story? Because it reminded me of a story that happened to me when I was 8. There was neighborhood friend who was 5, Todd. I gave him a CrackerJack prize that I had. He liked it a lot. He took it and ran home. I did not see it happen, but I heard it. He went in between two cars to cross the street. He didn't make it home. That story has effected me for years. My mom knows it well. I try very hard to remember Todd since that day. I have never forgotten him. I told the story to my cousin's friend at the funeral that story. He will never forget his own story either. He will change like I have changed. I have become more aware of my surroundings when I am in the car, when I ride my bike or take a walk.

Love and cherish your friends always. Love and cherish your family, I know some of you may not have had the best parents. But they gave you life. Love and cherish the life that you have. If you have a mate, girlfriend or boyfriend. Love and cherish them that you have someone who is willing to listen to you and love you back.

There is hope for Chris. Yes he is very smart. But he is in emotional pain right now.

Have a wonderful week Sarah.

Rachel

In British English

joannebarbarella's picture

(Or Australian) the doctor was an arsehole. So much more expressive don't you think? Having got that off my bosom, what a great chapter. I had sort of felt it was coming but didn't dare to second-guess our brilliant authoress. There must be more surprises or blind alleys to go down before we reach the end but I admit to having no clue at all as to what they might be and I will quite happily go along for the ride,
Joanne

LOL

In my country too.

It's simple. I've met a lot of people who when it comes to IQ, are
just the very top tier. Top 1% and stuff. At one point or another,
I always wound up telling them the same thing. I don't think I've ever
met more than a handfull of people who were not much smarter than I
am - in some way. The one's that that surprises, are those that
needed to hear it the most.

Most have the same fatal flaw. They think they are always right,
right up until the point that they do something really stupid.

I always tell my friends and coworkers, whenever the subject comes
up, that people who are impressed by genius IQ's, have no idea how
much trouble they really are. All humans do the same stupid things.

I think that that 'Running Dog' of a doctor had the very same
problem. He just thought his Bullshit, was the very best bullshit
money could buy.

LOL. We call 'em Arseholes here in the USA too. Some of us read a lot,
and some of us spend way too much time on crowded highways!

Sarah Lynn

Arsehole

People in authority positions are often called upon to make decisions that might favor their client at the expense of someone else. Lawyers excuse themselves for making Draconian judgments by claiming their need to "represent" their client.

In your story it seems terrible short-sighted for a psychiatrist to think the long-term mental health of the patient can be better acheived by harming that person's child.

This quite well-constructed scene allows us to weigh his misguided actions. It echoes the prior scenes in that Miss Lynn and the administration must bend the rules and proprieties to achieve a positive outcome for Chris. My guess would be that proprieties are quite important the school and those who attend it. It some ways this story reminds me of Scent of a Woman -- in others it's like School Ties.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Geniuses...

I work at a company with teams of 50+ people. Whenever we've been teamed up with someone called a "genius", we cringe a little, because it really only seems to mean a bigger ego, not better work. Whenever we've been teamed up with someone called a "super genius", we had to ask for them to be removed from the project, because they were doing more harm than good.

I know a few...

And have successfully worked with them. Depends on where their genius is... Some, if you give them their little job, will solve it fine. One, even makes a good team leader, because he likes to "teach" and is actually pretty good at it.

I think, a big point is the difference in how these geniuses are brought up; and how "stable" their personalities are. The guy that was valedictorian of my class at the Uni - got a double degree BS Physics (Honors - Theoretical Physics - Proved his advisor's theory false) and BA in Mathematics... Was awarded Hertz Foundation and NSF Fellowships to grad school, etc. He was a really nice guy. Played D&D with everyone else, partied, etc. He was just BRILIANT. So, they're not universally someone you want to avoid. *sighs* Too bad the majority probalby are.

Maybe it's just that I've worked with so many REALLY SMART people over the years... Sometimes, I just wish some of it would rub off on me. LOL

Annette

I truly think

I truly think mom has nothing left to be afraid of by the time they do meet.
I love the interactions between people, the care the teachers show (which unfortunately is lacking so oft in real life) and the strength of character that Chris continues to display.

I couldn't maybe convince you to start posting daily? Then again.. if it was daily it'd be over sooner, and i don't want that either..

Anyways, thank you for yet another superb chapter.
Love,
Amber

RE: Private schools and teacher caring

My one year in a private school, a military school, no less, I found the teachers and staff, even the two incompetent teachers, were more caring than any public* schools I attended.

Was it because the class sizes were smaller?
Was it because we, and they lived the same place, and interacted more outside of class?
Was it because they had less to fear about being disciplined for showing 'favoritism?

I don't know. But I'm seeing the same thing here.

* Public schools, - by US definition

It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,
David Weber – In Fury Born

Holly

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Holly

Okay, I had it...

about 3/4 right. I'd guessed that something had happened to the mom (like what you described)... That somehow the dad was okay though... I hadn't guessed that she'd been "locked up in a loony bin" though...

As to the Doc saying what was best/worst for the child he'd never met? That's totally WRONG. There is absolutely NO way he could know the impact of the news on a child of that age, without spending some time getting to know the child. Even then, he would only be making an educated guess. Piles and piles of credentials do not necessarily an expert make. Maybe he's just over specialized. (You do know what specialization is, don't you? Well, it's the process by which one learns more and more, about less and less, until you know everything there is to know, about nothing at all.) Yep, that sounds like it describes the Doc. *sighs*

Still quite a number of "open" or "loose" ends here. Mrs. Pierce & the Headmaster are fleshing out nicely... :-)

Looking forward to the remaining chapters in this interesting work.

Thanks,
Annette

Yes, Annette

I've been silently reading the comments on the story and chuckling, because Sarah Lynn was kind enough to send me an advance copy so I knew what was going to happen. When I saw your comment on the last chapter I sent an email to Sarah Lynn saying I see Annette is starting to get warm, everybody else is way out there,". Good job of reasoning! :-) Following your comment I could see others catching on, but you were the first.

Holly, I agree with your comment about the faculty and staff at the school. My own experience at several different private international schools in Europe is much the same. I think these sort of private prep schools are able to attract the cream of the crop, both in teachers and in staff. The teachers at the schools I attended truly cared about the students which was reflected both in the students' grades and their enthusiasm for school itself. When you know your teachers care about you and that they are putting 110% of themselves into conveying their knowledge to you, it's hard not to enjoy learning.

Good work, Sarah, you have hit another grand slam here!

Karen J.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Boys School Ch.5

Wow! Keeps getting better and better. Totally believable. May print this one for future enjoyment(the whole story). More, more.

Suspected

After going though something like this in real life, I had an idea this might be the case. Unlike Chris I wasn't abandoned at a school for 3 years although I was at the very least mislead as to what was really going on.

I loved how Mrs. Pierce tore into that quack! Even more I love how the staff cares for their students. What more I was smiling the whole time as Chris took charge on the stage relaxing her nervous dance partners. She just can't keep the girl from shining out!

I would say I would kill to see this as a movie, but seeing how many great stories get butchered on their way to the screen, I say this story is perfect as is!

This is the good stuff Sarah!

Hugs!

grover

re: Boys' School

Hi

Even the simple things are great, such as the apostrophe. To quote the file Music & Lyrics, this story "is dinner". I'm just so glad someone told me I just had to read it. There is great characterisation and depth to the story and you weave the items in sometimes at in the most unexpected ways. The simple few lines where you let the readers know that the Dr Pope and Mrs Pierce had been informed that Chris was TS was just exquisite. However, the way it was done, did Chris hear that part, or did it sink in. I suppose I will have to wait until the next episode to find out.

Hugs

Karen

Swiss Burks

They are truly the most idiotic arrogant pratts....

Once again we get the superlative, SLMest :)

Ok, so how will you make the next chapter better than this??

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

Hey Sarah,

Thank you for sharing your GREAT tale with all of us. I for one, but I'm sure I speak for many here, am VERY much enjoying this story.

with love,

Hope

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

Well ! My first thought was...

Well, my first thought was to write a really nice sweet
ending that everyone would like!

Yeah, I know. [sigh.]

I've completely run out of original ideas.

Sarah Lynn

Fiction vs. Real life

Hope Eternal Reigns's picture

Hey Sarah,

I would just like to make it perfectly clear, that one of the reasons I read FICTION is for the lovely "Happy Endings".

I mean if I wanted to get more and more depressed all I'd need to do is listen to the 'news'. Real life has enough disasters to keep ANYONE in nightmares - like - forever.

Please write a perfectly lovely 'happy ending' for this story. Even if I'm the ONLY fan who will appreciate such sappy shlock, I will broadcast such feelings of love and affection for you, you will think it's summer all year long.

with love,

Hope

with love,

Hope

Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.

Me Too

The Sweet/Sentimental tag in the story header sets expectations.

I'm really enjoying this so far Sarah. I'm looking forward to the final 3 chapters. I really appreciate that the story is complete and that you are posting it fairly quickly.

Chris still needs ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

a bra. :-)

Hey, maybe he can buy one ... or more ... with matching panties, of course. Oh, and breast forms. See, you all are looking forward to the parent/child reunion while I'm looking forward to the shopping trip.

OK, so I'm shallow.

GREAT, GREAT, GREAT STORY, Sarah!

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show

BE a lady!

Very Shallow

He likes the clothing but I do not believe he wants to
misrepresent himself to look like what he is not. But a good
observation on your part that a shopping spree will follow.

I Love Mrs. Pierce!

She really put that quack in his place! Chris' mother should have been over here with American doctors who are not such arrogant ignorant *****! All of that book learning will NEVER replace compassion when dealing with trauma! Because that *** wanted money, Chris suffered! I have no doubt that that **** was writing a paper on her and she was a test subject, NOT a patient! I hope that he loses his permit and forced to work in Africa in a free clinic, washing bedpans!
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

This was a very good chapter,

that just kept getting better and better. I know a lot of psychiatric asses, in this country. I am glad that Chris had a chance to talk to his parents. But if wold have found out those things about my mother, well, I have no idea what I would do.

I am so sorry Sarah that I am behind on my reading, but I just got out of the hospital Friday night. I will catch up though, because I just love this story.

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"With confidence and forebearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

another great chapter

I have to thank you for this story once again,I feel you have given us a wonderful chane to hope and enjoy the comingut of a special girl, the understanding and support Chris recives is a dream come true , I only whis I had been so gifted with my own questt to dress and be more fem love your writing and hop echris the best , ps on a selfish note I pray the storydoesn't end

Patty

Dear Mom

I remember way back when Chris spotted his mothers letters were coming from a different city.

I assumed that they may have been seperated or divorced, and that this was the reason for keeping Chris in the dark!

I also knew we would hear about the reason at some stage - as we have!

Nice twist!

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Interesting developments...

Chris is such a natural en femme that even the staff have to do double takes... although given quotes mentioned in earlier comments, Dr. Cross appears to have shared something with others regarding Chris that hasn't been shared with Chris himself. Never mind his amazing ability to help the others cope with dancing and not get overcome with nerves.

Meanwhile, I think some comments on earlier episodes speculated that Chris' mum was a psychiatric patient - they've been proved right, and the swimming pool incident has been explained. It's refreshing though to see the description of the clinic - a far cry from the asylums of old.

It'll be interesting to see what happens when Chris finally meets his parents...

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

storyline

to Sarah - Keep up the writing just because one or two dont like your writing, doesn't mean the rest of us don't applaud it. BTW - that one person has omplained about other writers and I believe he's just out to cause issues. It's not the 1st time i've his comments about a storyline that he's griped about and the storyline hadnt even done anyhing.

the only complaint I've had issues on storyline is being in the DARK as accounting where Chris was during Summer breaks, why,how they avoided his finding out where Mom was, cause it appears she was in Switzerland in that clinic for a couple of years. Also , noticing she was drugged up for alot of it, it appears now. for my opinion, not a sound medical idea at least that long. looks like a real case for a bunch of lawyers to rake that place clean & good ole' DR to find some jail time. Won't happen most likely...too bad.

-
-

as for the SCHOOL , yes their abilities to do much were pretty well tied. And the DAD, well he thought he was getting sound advise and tho, he should have known his son better than to keep it quiet that long. like the Authoress or someone made comment, WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, but the smart ones are the ones that realize at some point and Stand up for their actions in stead of putting head in sand or blaming someone else for their mistakes while taking no responsibility for those actions.

-
-

AS FOR THE DR in Switzerland - like anywhere else one accumulate degrees. you know you get the same certificate for just BARELY passing as you'd get if you MAX'd the courses. and no one's the wiser. Spend enuff time in school and you wind up with an impressive amount, then there is the honoree degrees that you get just for giving money to a school, or some other political thang.
then, there's idiots like me, that got paid extra for taking courses thru-out my career and now I have three, simply cause I took courses
-
-

I find it dispicable tho that a teacher like AMY could get in trouble for what she did, but in today's idiotcracy I have seen it occur & in all walks of life not just teachers.
-

one last thing on Shrinks. I had to go thru fourteen to find two.
-

eight had no clue what Harry Benj.Standards of Care was or that it was in the DMSV, now isnt that just amusing if you're a TS needing help?
-

seven thought I must be demented, so just so, I needed to PRAY IT OUT OF ME
-
-

I was in mid 40s when i started looking. everyone that was my age or older , believed I was a lunitic, including three that wanted me committed just for thinking i was in wrong gender. Even tho I showed PROOF to all that I was medically proved to be intersexed.
-
-

I just put this last in for those that follow me(us) in quest to transition, If you dont find one that you feel you can work with & is least 1/2 knowledgeable try for someone else. This also includes medical doctors and endo's , many of these two latter because of insurance issues or generally in USA are attached to a hospital for better or worse is attached to a religious organization ... may i say cathlic church in many cases and YES the CHURCH can make waves at not only the DR and administration on how they operate, but often WHOM. this doesnt often bode well for the transexual in general health care or speciality care either. BUT MAKE IT CLEAR ... their hands are often tied even if it's backroom,not on paper policy.

Boys School Ch. 6

I believe that Chris's desire to dress as a girl will not be news to his parents.
The following statement leads me to believe that Chris also suspects they know
something. He has for the longest time tried hard to avoid being viewed as anything
but a boy. It's like he does not want to rock the boat but things have changed
and where he has denied himself his desires he is now accepting them.

"..., when I recalled the conversation that I'd had with my father last summer,
when he tried to explain to me that boys wore pink polo shirts. I'd thought it
was a test at the time, so I'd refused,..."

If he is sixteen now and he has been in school three years, he was put in the
school right before puberty. If he is small for his age he has not prospered
physically, and I can only assume he has been under stress. Not only because
of his desires but at the fact he has not been home with his parents, especially
if he was close to his mother. They have done a great disservice to him.
He has been at school during what should have been puberty, and girls would start
playing a big role in his life. He has nothing to be ashamed of; his parents
have let him down.

The following statements by his father shows, that while the school he is
attending is one of the best, it does not make up for a family life and be
involved with the community at greater level than is obtained in a boarding
school. In other words he needed time away from school, or at least to be
in a school where there were girls. Even if he still ended up liking dresses
he would have had the benefit of their friendship, knowledge and direction.
He does not have very many close friends at the school but I am sure if there
were girls at the school he would have ended up with girl friends, if not a
girlfriend.

“You remember that your mother spent most of her teenage years in schools,
like you…”

“So, even though she had been all over the world, most of the time she
really led a very sheltered existence.”

Chris asks his mother when he talks to her, "Is it nice where you are?" A
question from a boy who loves his mother. While we can excuse the mother
for not returning the consideration because of her illness we cannot excuse
the father. No matter how busy he is. He could have spent the holidays with
his son and that is what his wife should have encouraged him to do.

The problem with his mothers doctor has been resolved and he will be seeing
her again. It is hard for me as a person who majored in the social sciences
to condone their conduct toward their son. They need a tongue lashing for
what they have caused their son to endure. Thank you for an excellent story
and chapter.

Are you the energizer bunny?

Ole Ulfson's picture

Sarah,

You keep going and going and going... And I still don't know where. You're doing what only the best authors can do; creating a compelling story and dragging the reader along with you without revealing the destination or losing the readers interest. You have a gift.

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!

Chris...

Glenda98's picture

So, is the point that when Chris meets her mother in fem mode her mother will be less afraid?

Glenda Ericsson