“You’re one of those transsexuals like that Pastor in Baltimore. You’re a female who wants to be a male.”
They looked to Pat and Gram who was steadying me with her hands on my shoulders. “Oh … I’m sorry,” Nana fumbled for the right words. “You’re one of those transsexuals, like that Pastor in Baltimore. You’re a female who wants to be a male.”
“I don’t understand why a pretty girl like you would want to become a boy,” Laura added. “But you’re part of our family, and we’ll help you become a boy if that’s what you really want.”
Pat and Gram laughed and hugged me from behind. “You’ve got it backwards. Krista was born a boy. She’s been a girl for only about six weeks.”
They exchanged looks of consternation. “Is this supposed to be some sort of joke?” Laura asked.
“It’s true,” I whispered.
“You’re much too girlish to have ever been a boy,” Nana declared with certainty.
“I was always fighting to prove I wasn’t a wimp or a sissy,” I began my explanation. “But when Mom made me promise to get the girls here, I had to leave that angry boy in Cape Cod.” They listened intently as I explained how I became a girl. “I have to be honest with my family. I tried hiding the truth from Dad, but it just got too difficult. When I told him, I found out he’d learned the truth from the reports that came in from Massachusetts.”
“So, are you going to remain a girl?” Laura gently asked.
“Yeah, if I tried going back to being a boy I’d just be a failure again,” I confessed. “I’ve discovered I feel right being a girl, something I never felt as a boy.”
“Krista, you’re my grandchild, whether you’re a boy or a girl doesn’t matter, as long as you’re being the best person you can,” Nana firmly stated. “What you showed us this afternoon convinces me you are a girl, no matter what your body says. You’ll always have my love and support.”
“That’s the way I feel, too,” Laura agreed.
“Thank you,” I replied tearfully.
“Ah ha, tears of relief,” Nana chuckled. “That proves I was right. You are a girl, no matter what your birth gender.
“Do you think Pappy and my uncles will understand?” I asked hesitantly after we’d warmly hugged.
“If they know what’s good for them they will,” Nana declared with such conviction I felt relieved. “But let’s not tell them until after we’ve eaten. Men feel threatened when a boy is willing to be girlish.”
“Besides,” added Laura. “Men are like dogs, after they’ve stuffed themselves, they’re more docile and open to new ideas.”
We all laughed and hugged. After I sat back down on the swing, Laura gave me DJ. “Krista, there is no doubt you are a girl. My offer of being our babysitter is still in place.”
“Thanks,” I smiled as I settled DJ into my arms.
It wasn’t too much later the truck returned and the four men exited. We greeted each other with smiles.
“Jane,” Pappy began. “Leroy told me you need to add a bathroom here and do some other odds and ends so they can move in with you. The old house out at the point is structurally sound but needs a lot of work, all new plumbing, electric, heating and air conditioning. Fortunately, with the house unoccupied, we can make quick work of it. I’ll see about getting the permits pushed through and I can get a team out here to start by the end of the week. We can have everything done before school starts.”
Oh my,” Gram replied obviously a bit overwhelmed. “That sounds good, but I don’t know how I can pay you …”
“That’s already taken care of,” Pappy replied.
“But how … I won’t take charity,” Gram replied with her head held high.
“It won’t be charity,” Pat declared. “Leroy and I had saved a bit over a $100,000 to use to buy a place of our own. Since we’ll be moving in here, we’ve decided to use it to do what needs to be done here.”
“Thanks, but I can’t accept your hard earned money,” Gram demurred.
“We figured you’d say that,” Dad chuckled. We pay $1050 a month rent for a place a lot smaller than this. So we figured that what we pay to fix the place up can be used to offset the rent we’d pay to live here.”
“I already told you I wouldn’t expect you to pay rent,” Gram answered.
“We know,” Pat chuckled. “But we told you we’d make it up to you somehow and you agreed to that.”
“Yes, I did,” Gram defensively replied. “But …”
“Jane, you just hush up now,” Nana cut in. “We’re all family here. You don’t want to start a family squabble, do you?”
“All right,” Gram sighed. “But I’ll expect you to charge me what you’d charge any customer. Then we’ll work out how the ‘rent’ can offset that amount.”
“Supper should almost be ready, Laura. Since Krista seems to be busy, can you help me,” Pat asked.
I blushed as I cuddled DJ. Laura smiled, stood and headed inside to help. Dad walked over and took the vacated seat on the swing.
“You look so natural,” he said softly with a broad smile. “I’m proud you’re my daughter.”
All I could do was smile and blush.
“Jane, I’ve got a business deal for you,” Pappy said. “We checked out the old barn down there, too. I’ve been looking for a place to use to store equipment out of the weather and a place to store salvaged architectural features. With a bit of work that old place could be transformed into exactly what I need. What do you say?”
“It sounds okay to me, my only concern is that you might disturb the Nelsons once they move in,” Gram stated.
“We wouldn’t be making much noise early in the morning or late at night,” Pappy replied.
“Well then, I don’t see a problem,” she replied.
They spoke longer, but as I watched DJ sleeping, I felt at peace with the world and soon became lost in my thoughts. Becoming a girl was right for me, I not only felt it was right, I now knew it. But enough of my boyish past remained to make me feel guilty for betraying my birth gender. As I cuddled DJ tighter, I realized that if I went ahead and became a girl, I’d never have a baby of my own … my own flesh and blood. This caused me more internal grief than the betrayal of my birth gender.
I snapped out of my morose thought as Nana placed a hand on my shoulder. “Krista, let’s go in and check DJ’s diaper,” she suggested. “Supper will be ready by the time we’re done.”
Dad squeezed my shoulder and winked. I sniffled back the tears that had been ready to fall and stood, following Nana inside to the powder room. All she did was look at me and I confessed my concerns about becoming a parent.
“You are much too fragile to be having such pressure put on you,” she told me. “You need to stop fighting yourself. There is no need to worry about parenthood. If you can’t have your own, you can adopt. Now, have you ever changed a baby”?
The newest lesson in girlhood was not as disgusting as I’d feared. By the time we emerged, DJ was squirming and re-energized from his nap. We put him in a highchair David had fetched from the back of their Explorer. Lyndi and Teri led the other children into the powder room to wash up. Soon we were seated and dug into the feast.
Afterward, the kids stayed inside to play board games while I went out on the porch with the adults. Gram and Pat stood by my side, Dad sat on the porch rail by Larry, Laura took David to the swing, and Nana took Pappy to a pair of rockers. We made small talk while I began to fidget.
Finally Dad cleared his throat and looked at me. Everyone saw the exchange and looked at me. I swallowed my nervousness and stood proudly. “I really like you. I’ve never been part of a big family, and now I find I’m right in the middle of a wonderful family.”
“We’re glad to have you, Krista,” Pappy smiled in response.
“I know, you’ve all made me feel so welcome,” then I sighed. “But I have a secret I can’t hide from you.”
“”Krista has already told us her secret,” Nana declared. “Leroy knows all about it. I think I know the men of my family well enough to feel her secret will make no difference in our acceptance of our lost sheep back into the family fold.”
“Krista, I think it will be easier if you tell them ALL about your odyssey,” Pat suggested.
Looking at Gram and Dad and getting their nods I took a deep breath. “Mom was really sick, she could barely get out of bed but that last night she did. She made the twins promise to listen to me and do whatever I told them to do. After they went to bed, she made me promise to take care of the girls and keep them with me as a family. I went to bed not realizing she was dying from cancer. I woke up later, and knew something was wrong. Mom was gone. I rushed outside and saw her footprints in the sand, leading into the surf.”
I had to stop, sniffle and compose myself. “When I realized she wasn’t coming back, I was stunned, and headed back inside where I found her note. She apologized for dropping everything on my shoulders but felt I was strong enough to get myself and the girls here. I knew I had no choice but to succeed, and do whatever it took to get here. My life has been forever changed, and I can’t go back to the way I was back then. I found my true self, I became a headstrong girl without ever realizing I’d changed.”
“The fact you made it here proves that,” Pappy smiled.
“Hush, Robert,” Nana scolded. “You have no idea how difficult this is for Krista.”
“Sorry,” he sheepishly replied.
“I was a good and kind hearted kid before this began’” I continued. “But I was far from a prime example of an All-American boy.”
“Most tomboys aren’t.” Larry laughed, earning reproving looks from his parents.
“I wasn’t a tomboy,” I sighed. “I was small boy who was picked on and teased by the guys in my classes. I was in more fights than I can recall. I always struggled to prove I wasn’t a sissy.”
Pappy, David, and Larry were confused and looked at the others to see if I was pulling a prank on them.
“Our trip was rough from the start. and we didn’t have much money,” I went on. “I tried to get odd jobs and stuff, but everyone turned me down, they didn’t trust a scraggly boy they’d never met. When we ran out of money, I was desperate.
“We went into a bakery and asked if there was any way we could work for some food. The owner smiled and put us to work. I was relieved. As the girls and I cleaned his back room they began to giggle. When I asked them what was funny, they told me the owner had thought I was a girl. I was upset, but so hungry I let my misidentification slide.
“It didn’t take long for me to realize that as my boy self, I projected tough and arrogant attitudes which turned people off. When I let them think I was a girl, they were less defensive, and open to letting us do odd jobs. By the time I arrived here, I realized I was comfortable and happy, that behaving like a girl was natural and right for my soul. I’d kept telling myself I was only pretending to be a girl to get here, and that I’d go back to being a boy. It just never happened. When my secret came out, I’d found out everyone knew I was a boy, but that I made such a good girl they couldn’t see me going back to being a boy. Everyone has said it’s my choice and they’ll support me as a boy or girl. I’ve decided to remain a girl, because in my heart I know it’s what’s right for me. I think I’d become so frustrated trying to go back to being a boy I might do something stupid.”
“That’s a good one, Krista,” Larry laughed, with a powerful hint of nervousness in his voice. “You almost had me there”
“She’s telling the truth,” Dad said as he placed a firm hand on Larry’s shoulder.
Larry looked at Dad, then at me, then at Nana, then me, than Gram, then me, then Pat, then me. They were all nodding their heads.
“No way,” he declared. “I saw her with DJ. She’s a girl!”
“Precisely,” agreed Nana. “She was just born in a boy’s body.”
“I always though those transsexuals were just crazy,” Pappy admitted. “But my GRANDDAUGHTER is not crazy. If she says she’s a girl, then that’s what she is. I’ll just have to change my prejudice. I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again.”
“Dad, you’ve never been prejudiced,” Dad told his father. “When I was a boy, before the civil rights movement gained momentum, almost everyone around here looked down on blacks. I learned along with most of the country, the blacks were just like whites. I learned then, and I’ll learn now.”
“David, you’ve been quiet,” Laura stated.
“I can’t see any boy in Krista,” he finally said. “I always thought boys who wanted to be girls were swishy sissies. Like dad, I’ll have to change my stripes, too. Besides, I want my niece to babysit for us,” he chuckled.
Larry sat quietly on the rail while everyone looked at him. “God, I’ve been stupid,” he finally spat out. “Krista, thank you for showing me how stupid I’ve been.” Then he stood and ran to his Harley.
“Larry,” Pappy called after him as he stood to follow.
“I’ve got to go,” Larry said as he strapped on his helmet. “I made a big mistake at lunch. I’ve got to try to straighten it out. I just hope I’m not too late.” With that he started the snarling beast, and tore off down the road.
“Robert, follow him,” Nana ordered.
“I’ll drive,” Dad said as he, Pappy, and David headed for big Ford pickup. “I’ve been trained in chase procedures.”
In moments, the truck’s taillights disappeared into the trees. Those of us left behind exchanged puzzled looks.
It was nearly midnight when they returned. All three looked haggard as they wearily climbed from the truck.
“Where’s Larry,” Nana asked with great concern.
“He’s in the hospital,” Pappy replied heavily. “Whoa,” he hastily added as he saw the fear on our faces. “He’s not hurt, just staying with Kyle Masters. If we hadn’t gotten there when we did, he’d be dead.”
“Kyle …” Nana asked having always been concerned about the boy.
“He tried to kill himself,” Dad sadly replied. ”We followed Larry to the old Barnes farm. Kyle’s old VW was parked outside the barn. Larry never bothered to stop, he drove right through the barn doors. We saw the wood splinter and he disappeared inside. By the time we pulled up to the busted door, our lights showed Larry holding Kyle by his legs to take the pressure off the rope. Dave ran in and cut the rope, and Dad helped Larry lower Kyle to the ground. I called 911 and told them we needed paramedics ASAP. Kyle wasn’t breathing so I started CPR. By the time the paramedics arrived he was breathing on his own, but was still unconscious.”
“Do you know why he did it” Laura asked.
“Kyle was wearing a dress,” Pappy said while looking at me. “Krista, you saved a life tonight.”
“Me … I was here … I didn’t do anything,” I said in confusion.
“Kyle and Larry were best friends,” Dave picked up. “Except for being able to fix almost any engine, Kyle was never much of a boy. In fact, it was only because Larry stuck up for him that no one ever beat him up. They knew they’d have to answer to Larry. They were a real odd couple. A lot of people thought Larry had to be gay to hang with Kyle. It was only Larry’s athletic ability and never ending supply of girls to date that they didn’t.”
“Larry told us that he had lunch with Kyle,” Dad continued. “Kyle confessed his love for Larry. Larry laughed it off, but Kyle said that in his soul he was a girl, and was seeing some doctors who were helping him and that he’d soon begin transitioning. When he told Larry they could get married once he’d had his surgery, Larry freaked and Kyle ran off crying.”
“Larry said it ate at him all afternoon. He’d stopped by Kyle’s home after work but his mother said he’d been out all day,” Pappy said. “He went home and cleaned up to come out here. Krista, when you said you knew in your heart you were a girl, and that you might do something stupid if you had to go back to being a boy, it hit him. That’s exactly what Kyle had told him.”
“The old Barnes farm was where Kyle and Larry used to go to get away from everyone when they ragged on Kyle too much,” Dad explained. “Larry figured Kyle would be there.”
“So his secret is out,” I shuddered.
“Not yet,” Dad said. “Kyle changed there. Once he was breathing we stripped the girls clothes off and redressed him in his boy clothes. The girl clothes are in the truck.”
“Does Mrs. Masters know Kyle’s secret?” Pat asked.
“We’re not 100 percent positive, but we think so,” Dad answered. “She came out of emergency with Larry to thank us for saving Kyle. She also thanked us for our discretion. Larry said he’d stay with her while they moved Kyle to a room.”
“I need to go see Kyle,” I declared as I blinked back tears. “SHE needs to know she’s not alone.”
“We’ll talk to his mother,” Nana said. “She’ll need support too.”
Everyone headed home for a well deserved rest but we all knew none of us would be getting much sleep. A thought struck me and I ran and stopped Dad to ask him if he still had those papers he’d shown me at Mom’s grave. With a smile he dug them out of his wallet and gave them to me. “You are your mother’s child,” he smiled as he hugged me before getting in his car.
After climbing into bed, I began to cry. This was all too much. My now greatly expanded family had all accepted me as Krista. That alone was a miracle. I remembered the taunts and teasing that took place in my former school. Any guy who was deemed as weak was labeled a sissy, and hassled. Small guys like me suffered similarly, most of us became overly tough and macho to offset the teasing, but I’d never really been happy. Of course, I’d been too wrapped up in proving my boyishness, so I never took the time to think about how I felt inside. And those boys who actually were sissies … well, they caught every bit of crap thrown at them.
From what they’d said, Kyle had been a sissy, and it had only been Larry’s friendship that had kept the piles of crap from burying him. I wondered why Larry had stood by Kyle all those years. Larry had to have treasured his friendship all those years or he wouldn’t have maintained it. Yet obviously, he’d been blind to Kyle’s true affection. Maybe, just as I’d been blind to my true inner self, Larry had been blind about the true reason he’d always maintained the friendship against all the adversity. My revelation must have been the catalyst to open Larry’s eyes. It still remained to be seen if Larry could return Kyle’s love … or if Kyle’s professed love was only an infatuation.
Then I thought about how I’d reacted when I first laid eyes on Larry. Just thinking about that made my heart beat faster. Damn, he was my uncle. I shouldn’t be feeling like that! Yet it made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Being a girl sure was tougher than being a guy. Like most boys I’d always buried my emotions … except for anger. Now, becoming a girl made me feel as if I’d opened a Pandora’s box of emotions. Like Pandora’s box, I could never close the lid. It was a good thing I’d decided to become a girl, because I’d released her from the boyish prison I’d always had her locked in. But was that the right thing to do? Deep inside I could feel my submerged boy struggling not to drown in a sea of girlishness. A bit of boy hung on stubbornly, not wanting to yield to girlhood.
I’m not sure when I fell asleep. But when the girls shook me awake I was not well rested. I dressed in a flaring denim skirt and a pink tank top. At the last minute I put on the pendant Dad had given me.
Nana came over about mid-morning to pick me up. She looked worn and tired as we drove to the hospital in the Talbot County seat, Easton in her 2006 Escape SUV. As we pulled into the parking lot, I read the three lines on the sign: ‘Memorial Hospital of Easton’, “Shore Health Systems’, ‘University of Maryland Medical System”.
Inside we stopped at the receptionist to get directions to Kyle’s room. We knocked before entering. Inside, Nana hugged Mrs. Masters, who looked quite drawn, then went over to the bed and hugged the thin, long haired person who had to be Kyle. Larry looked worn out and had been sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed. He came around to give Nana a hug. Then he smiled at me and hugged me.
Kyle grew pale as he stared at me. His mouth opened and closed several times. I felt uneasy but not afraid.
“Thanks for coming,” Larry whispered in my ear. “Are you here for the reason I think?”
My heart was fluttering as I sank into his hug. Damn he was hunky! But I could see the expression on Kyle’s face. He wasn’t happy to see our hug. I steeled myself and broke off my hug, nodding my head.
“Mrs. Masters, Kevin, I’d like to introduce you to my niece, Krista,” Larry began. “She’s Leroy’s daughter.”
“Leroy...,” Mrs. Masters began as she looked me up and down. Recognition filled her eyes. “My Lord, you have to be Carol O’Brien’s daughter! You look just like her! Oh you poor child, I’m so sorry about your mother. I heard a lot of rumors going around town that you walked halfway from Cape Cod to St Michaels leading your sisters. You don’t look strong enough to have done that.”
“Oh, she’s much stronger than she looks, Evelyn,” Nana smiled. “And the rumors barely touch the surface of what this young lady has accomplished. In fact, she insisted she come to visit to help you and Kyle.”
Kyle still looked at me in a weird way, almost as if he was seeing a ghost. A shiver seemed to pass through him as he nervously wet his lips.
His mother looked between us obviously puzzled. “Do you know her, Kyle?”
“You owe her your life,” Larry said to Kyle quite seriously having missed Kyle’s reaction. “If I hadn’t met her last night, I’d have never figured out what you were up to until it was too late.”
“Kyle, Mrs. Masters, I just met Dad’s side of our family last night,” I said trying to shake the unease Kyle’s gaze caused me. “We had a nice meal, then adjourned to the porch. Like you, they thought I looked like Mom and had a hard time accepting I’d led my sisters here. But our journey changed me.” I took a deep breath and looked right at Kyle. “You see, I was born a boy.”
Both Kyle and his mother gasped, and looked at me even closer, then at Nana for confirmation, then back at me. Kyle began to tremble a bit.
“I was telling them how my macho attitude and bearing kept us from getting any odd jobs to help earn a bit of money for food,” I explained. Then I went on to tell them of my first unwanted and tentative steps towards my ultimate transformation, and my realization that in my heart I was a girl, but the boy I’d been wasn’t completely gone.
“Then she told us how she didn’t think she could stand ever going back to being a boy and that she might do something stupid if she had to change back,” Larry declared.
“It was like deja vu. Kyle, she opened my eyes. I suddenly realized my reaction to your confession had been a terrible blow. I jumped on my cycle and drove to Barnes farm as fast as I could … hell, I didn’t even stop at the doors, I drove right through them, saw you, and jumped off and grabbed your legs to take the pressure off the rope. My dad and brothers must have followed, because they came in right behind me. The headlights of the truck lit up the barn and we got you down and called for help. After we got you breathing, we changed you out of the girl’s clothes and put you back in boy clothes. That’s why you’re here, and no one knows how you were dressed.”
We were all wiping tears from our eyes. “My mom was our guardian angel during our odyssey,” I stated. “She kept us safe. You must have a guardian angel, too.”
“I do,” Kyle declared firmly then softly added. “Although at the time I thought I was hallucinating,” before breaking down in tears.
We all consoled him until he regained his composure.
“She appeared to me last night,” he confessed. “At first it was just a cool breeze whipping about me as I dressed in my girl’s clothes. I thought it was weird, since the barn was closed up. I enjoyed the way it made my skirts flutter, it felt so right I almost stopped, but then I realized without Larry, I’d never be happy. I went back to my preparations. Then she appeared. I was scared, thinking I was going nuts. At first she was just a white fog, but as I watched she began to take form. Even though she was haggard, like someone who’s been really sick a long time, I could tell she’d been a beautiful woman. She tried to stop me, kept mouthing NO, and I stopped my preparations. I thought maybe it was a messenger from hell coming to take my soul after I was dead, but that didn’t make sense, since she was trying to stop me. I watched as she continued to materialize. As she became clearer, I detected the smell of salt water in the breezes. I could see the tattered nightgown she wore was wet, and there were bits of seaweed in her blond hair.”
“Hey,” Larry declared. “There was a puddle of salt water with a few clumps of seaweed in the barn. I was kneeling in it while we worked to revive you, and thought it was weird! But I was more concerned about you and forgot it until now.”
“Mom,” I gasped in surprise.
“No wonder you look so much like her,” Kyle answered softly as he looked at me. “Spooky.”
We all exchanged looks of disbelief and amazement.
“Although she didn’t stop me from trying to kill myself,” Kyle continued. “She successfully slowed me down.”
“Long enough to give me time to rescue you,” Larry declared as he reached out and took Kyle’s hand, then he looked to me, and back to Kyle. “Kyle, this is too much of a coincidence. It’s as if there’s a higher power pushing us together. You’re my best friend, I don’t know how I’m going to handle you being a girl, but I’m sure going to give it my best shot!”
We were all in tears by then. I felt better than I had in a long time. Now I knew Mom was not only looking out for Lyndi, Teri, and I, she was looking out for our entire family.
Just then there was a knock on the door and a middle aged woman entered. The stern expression on her face morphed into one of confusion as she saw us all in tears. When she noted Larry holding Kyle’s hand, she briefly smiled, then put her professional face back on. “Kyle, just what do you think you were doing last night! You do know this will set back your schedule?”
“Yes ma’am,” Kyle replied sheepishly. “But it brought Larry and I together. It’ll be worth a short delay.” Kyle squeezed Larry’s hand and both smiled a bit guiltily.
The woman sighed and looked at all of us. She stopped in obvious surprise when her gaze reached me and stared with her mouth slightly agape. I almost wet myself.
“My God,” she whispered. “You are, without doubt, your mother’s daughter.”
“That’s what everyone tells her,” Nana chuckled agreed. “You can relax, Krista, this is Dr. Wanda Sykes. She’s our local gynaecologist.”
“And Gender Dysphoria specialist,” Mrs. Masters added. “It’ll be okay, Krista, Wanda is a wonderful doctor and an even better person. I have no doubts you’ll grow to like her as much as we do.”
Wanda Sykes … Pat’s gynecologist.. … plus Gender Dysphoria … I wasn’t quite ready for this
“Your resemblance to your mother is almost uncanny … and that must be the pendant I’ve heard about,” Dr. Sykes interrupted my musing. “I can’t begin to explain how guilty I’ve felt for your mother running away.”
I noticed everyone seemed as confused as I was. Why should Dr. Sykes feel guilty for Mom running away? Obviously she saw our confusion.
“Just about fourteen years ago, Carol came to me just after Thanksgiving,” Dr. Sykes explained. “She told me she was afraid she was pregnant. After I verified it, I told her I’d have to tell her parents. She begged me to wait until after Christmas, since it would ruin the family holiday. Since she wasn’t far enough along to be noticeable, I reluctantly agreed. She ran away the next week.”
Nana and I exchanged teary glances as Dr. Sykes struggled to regain her composure before she looked at me.
“Krista, I assume everyone here knows about your situation,” Dr. Sykes asked.
“Yes ma’am” I softly replied. “Since I’ve already started to transition, I came in to offer whatever help I can to Kyle.”
“You really are amazing. Pat called me to set up a time to bring you into my office. She told me how you led you led your sisters here, and I recognized your mother’s stubborn determination,” she continued. “When she told me what you had to do … pretending to be a girl, I was flabbergasted. But then I realized that you were doing what you had to do to take care of your sisters, putting loved ones before yourself, again just as your mother had done. However, your decision to remain a girl has me concerned.”
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Sykes said with genuine concern as she laid a comforting hand on my trembling arm.
“Kyle, you seem to have recovered, but don’t think you’ve escaped a severe scolding … or a big hug! But first, I think this young lady and I need to sit down for a bit. Sheila, as her grandmother, I think we need to go back to my office where we can talk.”
Blushing deeply, I smiled understanding I had nothing to fear from this woman. I managed to compose myself and looked at the doctor. “I think it’ll help Kyle and Larry if we talk here,” I declared softly.
The doctor looked at Nana, who nodded her head.
“Pat told me how your dad first met you in your Krista persona,” Dr. Sykes went on. “Then she explained about the pendant, how he thought you were his daughter, and your remarkable resemblance to your mother. I understand your decision to continue your girlish masquerade, and I have no choice but to agree to help you. But I not only need to know this is YOUR decision, I need to believe without any doubt, that becoming a girl is what you REALLY want. Krista, do you really want to be a girl or do you feel trapped into having no choice?”
Everyone watched me as I considered my answer. “I’m pretty sure I want to be a girl,” I softly pronounced. Slowly and in a soft voice I explained about my miserable social life in Cape Cod, where outside of my family, how I was hassled by the guys at school and constantly had to struggle to prove my boyhood. Then I told how my life as a girl was much more auspicious. “If truth be told, other than my fear of being discovered as a boy and having my skirt tossed by the wind, I’ve enjoyed my time as a girl,” I meekly confessed. “Living as a girl has made me realize that I’d never been happy or contented when I was a boy. The only time I’d been happy was when I was with my mother and sisters.”
“Krista, you are your mother’s child,” Dr. Sykes answered after much thought. “You do appear quite comfortable and quite convincing as a girl. But I don’t think you’re ready to make a final decision to become a girl.”
“But …” I sputtered. “I can’t go back to being a boy.”
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