A Summer’s Odyssey Part 9

A Summer's Odyssey
Part 9

By Jennifer Sue

 
“I didn’t say you had go back to being a boy,” Dr. Sykes soothed. “I merely said it is too early for you to commit to permanently become a girl."

 


Part 9
 
“I didn’t say you had go back to being a boy,” Dr. Sykes soothed. “I merely said it is too early for you to commit to permanently become a girl. It seems obvious to me that right now you feel that remaining a girl is what you want. But I also sense a tiny bit of doubt and maybe some buried reluctance. You need to spend at least a full year as a girl … under my care.

“For now I’ll give you a prescription for a testosterone blocker to hold off your male puberty and I’ll tell the school you have a medical condition that precludes you from using the girl’s restrooms and locker room. I’m sure that as the school nurse, Pat will see that you change for phys-ed in the infirmary, and use that restroom. If you’re still sure you want to become a girl by this time next year, I’ll see if I can start you on some low dosage female hormones. From the time you start female hormones it’ll take about a year before it’ll be too late to go back to being a boy. That gives us about two years to make sure you want to make the change. Can you agree with this?”

“Sure,” I exclaimed with excitement, relieved that I didn’t have to make a final choice now. “I can do that!”

Nana and Dr. Sykes exchanged knowing glances.

“Pat, your Gram, and I talked this over and we thought you might,” Nana said. “While we respect your decision to become a girl, we think it was made too quickly. We’ll all feel better by giving you more time to make a final decision. If for some reason you decide to go back to being a boy, we’ll work it out. I know your father is never going to lose you again.”

“There are options that fall in between being a boy or a girl,” Dr. Sykes added. “I’ll give you some information on all the possibilities so you can make an intelligent decision. I will be available to discuss any issues or concerns you might have.”

“Does that speech sound familiar, Kyle?” Mrs. Masters chuckled as she looked at her son.

“Sure does,” Kyle blushed.

“I don’t understand how either of you can feel that way about giving up your boyhood.” Larry shook his head. “But I can see neither of you fell you have any choice but to become the girl you feel in heart.”

Then he looked at Kyle. “Last night as you lay there while Leroy performed CPR, I saw you weren’t a boy dressed as a girl, but a girl who’d spent her life dressing as a boy. I also realized that I … I love you … the girl inside … I know I’m not gay, and I know I’ll never be able to handle making out with a girl who has a boy’s body. But you said you were going to have surgery to become a girl … Kyle, I’ll wait.”

“Please don’t ever call me Kyle again,” Kyle begged. “Kyle died last night. From now on I’d like to be your girlfriend, Kylie.”

“Okay, Kylie,” Larry smiled and the new couple hugged tenderly.

“Now, I think Evelyn and Larry should go home and get some rest,” Dr. Sykes ordered. “I need to have a LONG talk with Kylie if she wants to go home tomorrow.”

“You mean I’m not under suicide watch?” Kylie asked in disbelief.

“Are you tied down, girl?” Dr. Sykes laughed. “Sheila, take Larry home and put him to bed. Then take this young lady to get her ears pierced.”

I gasped as I protectively put my hands up to my ears.

“It’s just part of becoming a girl,” Dr Sykes smiled at me. “But if you’re not sure …”

“Nana, can you please take me to get my ears pierced?” I accepted the challenge.

As we were heading out the door I stopped. “Wait, I almost forgot! I got something Dad showed me when we told each other I was a boy.”

“Your dad knows,” Dr Sykes smiled. “Obviously he approves?”

“Only if I’m sure,” I giggled as I unfolded the papers. The pastor gave these to Dad when he went to talk to the pastor after he’d learned I was a boy, but before I’d confessed.”

I shared the papers with them.

 
{ See St. John's and its pastor are reborn. Church advocates acceptance, love -- starting with its transgender leader. By Liz F. Kay From the Baltimore Sun July 6, 2007

and

Statement to the plenary session of the Baltimore-Washington Conference May 24, 2007
The Rev. Drew Phoenix delivered the following statement in a session of the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church. Formerly, the Rev. Ann Gordon, Drew Phoenix is a female to male transgender person in part 7}

 
“So the church is accepting transsexuals,” Mrs. Masters said. “Kylie, I don’t think we need to hide anymore.”

“If I’m Larry’s girlfriend, we have to keep it secret,” Kylie smiled hopefully at Larry.

“No we don’t,” Larry replied without hesitation. “When you’re ready to come out, I’ll be right by your side!”

“Maybe I should too,” I sighed. “It’d sure be easier if we all did it together.”

“Krista, you’re not ready for that,” Dr. Sykes cautioned.

“But I can’t stand lying,” I sniffed. “Everyone thinks I’m a girl. Obviously the pastor knows I’m really a boy, yet on Sunday he baptized me as a girl. Course I didn’t realize he knew then … I’d have been too nervous! But that’s what I’m talking about, I’m living a lie. I have to be honest!

“Krista, I’d love to come out together,” Kylie smiled at me. “But I’ve waited this long, I can wait a bit to make sure you’re ready.”

“Thanks.” I smiled as I skipped over to the bed to give her a hug.

“This is moving fast,” Dr. Sykes sighed as she shook her head. “I’ll need to talk to Rev. Giles. Then I need to sit down with everyone in both families. Krista, I want to see you in my office Friday afternoon. I’ll call Jane to set the time.”

Nodding my head as we left I hid my nervousness. An hour and a half later, after dropping Larry at their home, Nana and I pulled up before DBS Fine Jewelers. My apprehension faded as I looked into the display window and wondered where my pendant had been displayed. We entered and I was amazed by the homey yet high class ambience of the shop. A smiling woman warmly greeted us.

“Sheila, it’s good to see you again. How can we be of service?” she asked looking at Nana.

“Well, Brenda, I’d like to have my granddaughter’s ears pierced,” Nana replied as she comfortingly squeezed my shoulder.

“Of course,” she answered, as she looked to me as a quizzical expression crossed her face. She stopped and stared at my pendant. “Oh my, just a moment. Daniel, please come here,” she called to the man working on some jewelry in the back.

I became anxious as the man came to the front.

“How can I help you ladies?” he asked with a smile. Then he stopped as he saw my pendant. “Oh … I never thought I’d see that again.”

My anxiety grew and I backed away.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized as he looked at my face. “You can’t be her …”

“Krista is Carol’s daughter, my granddaughter,” Nana smiled proudly as she stopped me from backing up. “Krista, this is Daniel and Brenda Steiner, the owners”

“You’re the one who led her younger sisters here,” Brenda declared.

“Leroy is your daddy,” Daniel smiled. “I’ll never forget how your mom stared at this pendant every day, or how sad she looked when it disappeared. Your father barely kept from breaking down and giving it to her right then and there.”

“We heard about your mother,” Brenda said. “You have our sympathy.”

I nodded realizing I had nothing to fear.

“Your dad kept it all these years,” Daniel stated as he shook his head. “It looks as good on you, and it would have looked just as good on your mother, just as I’d hoped when I made it.”

“You made this?” I asked in awe as I caressed the pendant.

“Sure did,” he replied. “It was always one of my favorite creations.”

“Daniel, Shiela brought Krista in to have her ears pierced,” Brenda pointedly said.

“ReallyHe almost screeched in excitement. “Get her on the stool and prepped!”

I was totally confused as he scurried off to the back. I could see Nana was as equally confused.

“You heard the man,” Brenda gleefully chuckled as she led me to the stool by a tray with what I assumed were piercing tools. Once seated, she washed my earlobes with alcohol, then sprayed an ice cold liquid which immediately numbed my ears. “This will insure it doesn’t hurt.”

Daniel came back clutching a blue velvet covered jewelry box. Nervously he opened it and deftly removed the contents but I saw the box had a white satin lining. Picking up the piercing gun, he inserted something into the end. Deftly he placed it against my ear and pulled the trigger. All I felt was a slight tug. Quickly he reloaded the gun and moved to my other ear and repeated the procedure. Stepping back he smiled broadly as he surveyed the results.

Nana gasped as she too saw my ears.

“Fantastic,” Brenda enthused before turning me to see my reflection in the mirror.

My mouth dropped open. My newly pierced ears sported tiny glittering emeralds in a finely filigreed gold setting, perfect matches to my pendant!

“I’d planned to make the three piece set. I made the pendant first, and placed it in the window,” Daniel explained. “It drew so much attention business really picked up, and I was forced to put off finishing the matching earrings. When your dad came to buy the pendant I was just finishing these, but we’d seen how much he loved your mother and knew he’d been working his butt off, obviously to earn extra money to buy the pendant, we couldn’t refuse him. We didn’t want to sell the earrings without the pendant, so we put the earrings in the safe until I could make another pendant. Our business grew, and I never made another. To be honest, we’d forgotten about the earrings. Then, today, you came in …”

My fingers tentatively fingered the glittering emeralds in my ears, I was mesmerized by them and the pretty girl wearing them. I was that cute girl. It seemed everything that was happening to me was directing me towards girlhood. Even Mom was doing it … saving Kylie … telling me it was all right for me to become a girl.

“Earth to Krista!” Nana chuckled as she gently shook my arm.

“Ah … sorry...,” I blushed as I tore myself from my reflection.

“They look marvelous together, especially on you, Krista,” Daniel gushed as Brenda smiled in agreement.

“You’ve already made the sale,” Nana declared. “But I’m almost afraid to ask the price.”

“In this case, it’s a gift,” Daniel said with a smile.

“We can’t accept that,” Nana protested. “Those earrings have to be worth at least a thousand dollars.”

My mouth once again opened in surprise. A thousand dollars? … and I was wearing them!

“Actually, if we were to sell the earrings, we’d ask a minimum of five thousand,” Daniel replied. “And the pendant is probably worth seven thousand. As a set, a conservative value would be fifteen thousand.”

“Oh my,’ Nana said in amazement.

“And I’m wearing it...,” I gasped. “I’ll never feel comfortable wearing them again!”

“Nonsense, child,” Brenda laughed. “That set was made to be worn!”

“But we could never pa …” Nana began to protest before being cut off.

“Sheila, we’d forgotten the earrings,” Brenda placed her hands on Nana’s shaking hands. “They’re a gift, to complete the set as Daniel made them.”

“But …” I began before Daniel held up his hand.

“Krista, I understand your need to earn your way,” Daniel began. “Your arrival here proves you’ve already earned it. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll settle for a photo shoot with you wearing my creations. Those that are now yours, and some of my current stock. Does that sound like a deal?”

I couldn’t speak, but after seeing Nana smile and nod, I smiled and nodded my head.

“Unfortunately we can’t let these stay in your ears,” Brenda sighed. “These are too big for starters. Let me numb your ears again, then I’ll remove this set and we’ll put in a simpler starter set. Pick whatever you’d like from this display.”

There had to be over 20 different sets! The gold butterflies were cute, so were the silver unicorns, too cute. Then I saw the golden angels … Mom … “Those … the angels,” I whispered as I choked back tears.

Brenda was surprised by my reaction but Nana understood. “They remind her that her mother is now with the angels,” she explained as she hugged me.

“Of course, a perfect selection,” Brenda enthused.

Minutes later, the emerald earrings had been painlessly replaced by the angels. Brenda explained how to care for my newly pierced ears and gave me a paper repeating the instructions.

Since it was about one in the afternoon, we headed to a small café and had a light lunch. When we got back to the farm, Nana told Mom all that had happened. Tears ran freely down her face as she realized what Mom had done to save Kylie.

My head was still spinning with all that had occurred in the last 24 hours. After Nana left, I asked Gram if it was okay if I walked down to Piney Point. She gave me a bottle of water and shooed me out the door. She knew I needed to be alone to think.

As I walked past the barn I followed an overgrown path around Stevens Cove. My thoughts wandered. I’d met my father’s family, inadvertently helped my uncle save his best friend who saw my mother’s angel/ghost and was a boy who felt the need to become a girl, and found that my beloved pendant was part of a set … and I was going to be a model … and it was all because I’d become a girl.

Mom was a good person, and I had no doubts that God had welcomed her home, despite taking her own life. I was sure God not only understood why Mom had done it, he gave her cancer wracked body the strength to do it. So it had to be God’s will that allowed Mom to briefly return to save Kylie while at the same time letting me know it was okay with her and God that I become a girl.

But why was I still hesitant? I felt compelled to become Krista, but I wasn’t quite ready to give up on Kristopher. That really baffled me, since I didn’t want to go back to being Kristopher. I really liked being Krista and was content and comfortable being a girl, plus the clothes were simply so much cuter.
When I reached Piney Point I sat on the wild grass at the waters edge and looked down Broad Creek to where it merged into the Choptank River. Dozens of sailboats and cabin cruisers plied the waterway. I sighed and basked in the salt tinged air and late afternoon sunlight.

I smiled as I remembered how the Spades had taken us out sailing on Long Island Sound. I had to write them and let them know we were okay … and I had to tell them all about me. I wondered why I felt so compelled to reveal my secret, but I had such a need to be honest I had no choice but to come out as a boy in transition to girlhood. Kylie had said we’d do it together. We had a powerful connection through Mom and Larry. We’d have to get Kylie and her mother together with my family and Rev. Giles. Since he’d baptized me as a girl while knowing I was a boy, I hoped he’d help Kylie and me find a safe way to come out. I found myself giggling nervously as I wondered if the Steiners would still want me to be their model after I came out? Eventually I reached a compromise solution. I would remain as Krista but do nothing to jeopardize the ultimate symbol of my masculinity, at least for now.

After supper, I told Lyndi and Teri how Mom had saved Kylie by delaying his attempted suicide until Larry could get there to save him. We all joined in tears of happiness to know that Mom was safe in God’s hands.

As the girls were heading up to bed Teri suddenly stopped. “Krista … you wouldn’t try to … to … because we tricked you into becoming a girl …”

“Kylie tried to kill herself because she felt lost and hopeless,” I explained. “I have our entire family to prevent that from happening to me! Besides, I like being a girl.”

We wound up in a group hug/tearfest.

After the girls went to bed, Gram looked at me. “You have that look again, Krista. What do you need to do?”

“I need to write to the Spades,” I answered. “I promised to write them when we were safe at home. I also need to tell them about me.”

“Do what you feel is right.” Gram smiled as she fired up her computer.

I sat down and started to write. I told them everything, including the truth about me. It was difficult, but I did it. I wondered what they’d think and hoped they’d reply.

The next evening I sat down with Gram, Pat, and Dad. I told them of my thoughts of a big family meeting, including Kylie and her mom, as well as Rev. Giles to discuss our coming out. They all thought it was a great idea, and Pat suggested Dr. Sykes also join us, to which we all agreed. Gram said she’d call everyone and see if we could have a big picnic Sunday afternoon to have our discussion. My suggestion we invite the Nelsons was welcomed.

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. Working for the county, Dad had a bit of pull, and Scott and Sons Contractors had a reputation for excellence. Add in the positive report from the social worker and the church pastor, and getting the building and other permits rushed through had presented no problems. Pappy had a few men out to begin the prep work for the renovations to Gram’s house, what would become the Nelson’s home, and the big barn down by the point by mid-week.

Two men a day came to work on our house. We met carpenters Rick Stanley and Harry Dryer, mason Matt Haley, plumber Fred Kase, electrician Jason Kern, siding and roofer Jeff Duncan, drywaller Adam Green, and painter George Bracy.

Each afternoon Patricia came out with the boys. They'd spend the morning packing and bring out cartons which we stored in the barn. Gram, Pat, and I took turns watching the boys and the twins as they played together while the other two helped the construction workers … we mostly carried out construction debris and cleaned up.

I learned that smart building techniques in this area took into account storm surges, since a few hurricanes tracked up the Atlantic coast every year. Fortunately, we were in the upper bay area, just across the bay from Annapolis. The huge bay lessens the sea’s impact. The normal high tide was only two feet above low tide. The miles of coastline and low lying land easily absorbed the worst weather, but flooding still regularly occurred.

A category one storm with a surge of about five feet would flood about 10% the Bay Hundred Peninsula and about 25% of Gram’s farm. A category two storm surge of eight feet would cover about 50% of the Peninsula and all of Gram’s farm. A category three storm surge of eleven feet would cover 95% of the peninsula. A category four storm surge of fourteen feet would flood the entire peninsula.

The first floor joists of the house were six feet above ground level, which increased survivability and lessened damage. Virtually all construction in the mostly above ground basement was masonry so it wouldn’t suffer water damage.

The only thing that bothered me was that I’d heard nothing from the Spades. I wondered if they hated me. That made me feel guilty. Lying to them had been a betrayal. I should have told them I was a boy. Fortunately, I didn’t have much time to think about that.

Friday after lunch Pat took me into town to get a few things while Gram looked after the boys and the twins. After parking, we walked down the street. This wasn’t my first expedition into St. Michaels so I was able to enjoy the beautiful and historic old town. I balked when I saw the our destination … The Bay Hundred Health Center … I’d forgotten about seeing Dr. Sykes!

“Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing me here?” I pouted feeling unprepared.

“Krista, look how upset you are,” Pat tried to soothe my ruffled feathers. “You knew Dr. Sykes had asked to see you this afternoon. After we realized you’d forgotten about the appointment, Gram and I decided it would be best to simply bring you here. If you’d have remembered we were coming here, you would have protested and worried, just like you are now.”

I sulked because I realized she was right. Already she was acting like my mother … but I liked the comfort and guidance she supplied. With a great deal of trepidation I followed her inside the Health Center.

“She’s anxious to sit down with you and discuss your future,” Pat reassured me as we entered. “You’ve already met Dr. Sykes. She knows about your odyssey and your decision to become a girl. But you must convince her of your sincerity before she’ll help you.”

Linda Roberts, the receptionist, greeted us warmly, “Good afternoon, Pat. It’s good to see you again.”

Then she looked me and smiled. “You have to be Krista. I’m delighted to meet you. I can see why your Dad is so proud of you. Welcome to St. Michaels.”

I managed a nervous smile in response, suppressing an urge to bolt. The fears I’d felt during our odyssey of being publicly humiliated by being exposed as a boy masquerading as a girl reared their ugly head. But it seemed as if she didn’t know that … or didn’t care that I was a boy. At least she didn’t show any sign that she knew my true gender.
“Pat said this would be your first time seeing a gynecologist,” she soothed. “Dr. Sykes is caring and gentle. You’ll like her. Just have a seat and I’ll let her know you’re here.”

We took seats and I nervously looked about the waiting room. I was relieved no one else was there. The room was tastefully decorated, with numerous magazines of interest to women available. My anxiety grew as we waited, but I had to admit keeping our destination from me was a smart move.

A few moments later, the door opened and a smiling Dr. Sykes entered. After warm greetings she and I were soon seated in comfortable leather chairs in her tastefully decorated office, while Pat stayed in the waiting room. I explained why I thought I had to continue living as a girl and my feelings that I wanted to be all the girl I could be while keeping my manhood intact. She asked me several pointed questions, trying to break my resolve. Although she did it in a non-threatening, concerned manner, I wasn’t sure why she was so antagonistic. After all, I freely admitted a tiny part of me still wanted to retain my masculinity.

After being interrogated for an hour, she smiled. “I have few doubts you’re suffering from Gender Dysphoria, but we still have to see how to best address your issues. Many patients want destroy every vestige of their birth gender so I’m glad that at least for now you want to keep your masculinity. Now, I’m going to give you your school physical. That way you won’t have to see the pediatrician your brothers see. He’ll be taking care of your sisters. With my specialty, no one at the school will argue with my recommendations concerning your need for privacy.”

With that, we left the office and moved to an exam room. I turned white as Dr. Sykes handed me a flimsy paper exam gown, telling me to step behind a folding screen, remove ALL my clothes, and put on the gown. As she headed out to get Pat, I felt quite nervous as I stripped off my panties before slipping into the paper gown. Meekly I emerged, my face quickly reddening as the two women smiled at my nervousness.

“Try to relax, Krista,” Dr. Sykes comforted me. “Please step onto the scale.”

Doing as ordered, I stood on the scale as she slid the counter-weights, “Weight, 88 pounds …” she announced as she noted it on the exam worksheet.

“Stand straight,” she said as she lowered the measuring bar to the top of my head. “Height, 4 feet, ten inches …”

Then she took a cloth tape measure and wrapped it about my chest. “Chest, 30 inches …” Lowering the tape, “Waist, 25 inches …” Lowering the tape further, Hips, 28 inches …” Looking over the recorded numbers and checking a chart she smiled.

“Well, Krista, you’re a perfect girl’s size 12. For your age, you’re just a smidgen under average size for a girl, for a boy, you are at the bottom of acceptable size.”

Most of these revelations weren’t a surprise to me, as my life had taught me those truths, but learning that I was a perfect girls size seemed to confirm my decision to become a girl. “That’s good,” I solemnly declared. “I never impressed people with my boyishness, but since everyone seems to think I’m a girl, it’s a good thing I’ve decided to become the girl I appear to be.”

“I’m glad you feel so confident,” Dr. Sykes chuckled. “But we still have to address my concerns. We need you to do some deep thinking about the reasons you’ve decided to become a girl. If one of the main reasons you’ve decided to switch genders is because you made an ineffective boy, your decision may not be valid.”

“But I …” I began to protest, then fell silent as I noted the honest concern on their faces.

“We’re not telling you your decision is wrong, Krista,” Pat said. “We just want you to think … is your decision to become a girl more a case of running away from the problems you had as a boy, or is it running to girlhood because that’s what’s right for you.?

“Okay … I see your point,” I meekly conceded. “I understand you want me to make the decision to become a girl for the right reasons.”

“Exactly,” Dr. Sykes smiled. “We want what is best for you, and it has to be your decision, but whatever you decide has to be for the right reasons. Now, hop onto the exam table and sit at the end.”

My ears, nose, and throat were checked. My blood pressure taken. I giggled as I wondered where she was going to put it. They smiled at me silently wondering what I found so funny. You know … if she took my blood pressure, where did she put it? I giggled some more. Next she checked my heart and lungs. Everything was normal.

“Now I’m going to give you a lesson in girlhood you won’t like,” Dr. Sykes stated quite seriously. “It won’t hurt and every girl has to experience it at some point in their lives.”

My good humor evaporated and I warily glanced at the women. Uncertainty and more than a bit of apprehension filled me as the doctor reached down the side of the table and pulled up what appeared to be a weird set of stirrups.

“Lie back and put your feet in these stirrups,” Dr. Sykes stated. “I’ll give you your first gynecological exam.”

The color fled from my face as I realized that putting my feet in the widely separated stirrups would leave my genitals fully exposed. “B … but...,”

“Krista, every woman feels exposed when she’s on a table like this,” Pat explained. “It’s part of being a female. If you can’t handle it, you can’t become a girl.”

Neither woman said anything while they watched me. I could tell they were quite serious that I undergo this exam while at the same time exuding an understanding compassion. As I lay back and allowed Dr. Sykes to place my feet in the stirrups I felt my cheeks starting to burn. My stomach churned as she slipped a pair of rubber gloves on her hands. When she sat on a stool between my spread legs I realized what it was like to be utterly vulnerable and helpless. Tears began to trickle down my crimson cheeks as she touched my genitals. Although her touch was gentle and professional, I felt horribly violated.

“It’ll be all right,” Pat soothed as she took my trembling hand in hers. “My mother held my hand during my first pelvic exam.”

Pat’s consoling kept me from openly crying. But for the first time I realized becoming a girl was not all sugar and spice … there was some hot pepper in the mix.

“Krista, from this point of view you make a very poor girl,” Dr Sykes joked in an effort to ease the tension. “But at least there are no issues with what you have down here.”

I felt grateful when she stood and covered my groin with a sheet.

“I’m almost done, sweetie,” she told me as she moved to my torso. “One last bit of embarrassment. Now try to relax while examine your breasts.”

I didn’t think it was possible to blush any deeper, but I’m sure I did as she moved my paper gown to the side and began to use her fingers to gently push and probe my flat boyish chest. Helplessly, I closed my eyes until she was finished.

“I don’t see any problems here,” Dr. Sykes declared. “You’re development is normal for a prepubescent girl. Now, let’s get you out of these stirrups. Then you can get dressed while Pat and I go back to my office. Join us as soon as you’re dressed.”

When I entered the office, the women were laughing. Dr. Sykes and Pat assured me they would make sure I had all the privacy I needed at school. Then she gave me a prescription and a thick pile of papers that explained the range of options open to people with Gender Dysphoria.

“That is the testosterone blocker,” she stated quite seriously as she looked deeply into my eyes. “It’s your first step to making the physical transition to becoming a female. This treatment is fully reversible, and will cause no changes to your body. It will merely postpone male puberty. You’ll remain in your current prepubescent state. Read the papers I gave you and follow up with some internet research at the sites listed in the papers. If you have any questions, feel free to ask Pat or me. I’ll see you Sunday afternoon, so you can ask any questions you might have then.”

I solemnly nodded my head and smiled. My hand trembled when I reached for the scrip. I didn’t understand how such a big part of me wanted to become a girl, nor did I understand why living and dressing as a girl felt so right. I was glad I’d have time to think. What I would think about I wasn’t sure since I knew in my heart I was a girl. Damn, I was confused!

After we left we stopped at the drugstore to have my prescription filled. While we waited, Pat took me over to the cosmetic area and began to explain how to pick make-up that matched my complexion. We left with my anti-boy pills and a load of lipstick and nail polish, as well as some eye make-up and blush.

When we arrived back at the farm, Gram looked closely at me. Avoiding her gaze, I looked down at my feet as Pat slipped an arm about my shoulders. “Everything went fine,” Pat said. “Krista will be starting her testosterone suppressant medication tonight.”

I shuddered and tears began to flow down my cheeks. Gram pulled me into a soothing hug. “It’ll work out, Sweetie. Remember, your mom is here with you.”
Dad joined us for supper. We made small talk during the meal, then my siblings went out to play. Dad pitched in, and in a few minutes the dishes were washed. We headed out to the porch to check up on the kids. As the others took a seat, I took a deep breath.

“I want to tell LJ and Pete about me,” I began. “I know they’re young, but if we wait until I come out, they may feel tricked. Besides, it’s just a matter of time until they overhear something. I think it’ll be easier to do it now.”

They all intently looked at me, but I refused to wilt. Finally Dad nodded his head. “She’s right, we have to tell them and I don’t think there will be a ‘right’ time.”

Gram and Pat nodded in agreement.

“Well, there’s no time like the present, “Dad declared as he stood.

“LJ … Pete … Lyndi … Teri … please come here. We need to talk to you about our new family.”

The kids obediently ran over to us and Dad motioned for them to sit down.
 


 
To Be Continued...



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