I am a Girl
By Erin Amelia Fletcher

I lay a wake every night
pondering every dream and sorrow
I question all and wonder why
was I deprived of my nature
as it seeped into tomorrow

When I finally fall asleep
from exhaustion and tears of deep sorrow
I dream that I am myself
living life as the girl that I know I am

I am a girl
I am not a boy
Get the point

I dream of how I look
the beauty and the grace
the femininity in every trace

My long and slender fingers
painted a coat of shiny pink
combing through my hair
touching to mid back
tickling my exposed skin
not covered by my sun-dress

As I stand there in the mirror looking at back at me
this beautiful well endowed girl in her late teens
I smile as she smiles
her face in pink
her nails in pink
her dress in pink
her shoes and toes in pink
no trace of a boy is she, just as she is happy as she
her pink gloss shimmers with her perky smiles

This is we so don't give up
one day this will be
your sadness will turn to glee
Everything is at your reach

I twirl as she twirls
I dream as she dreams
we both wish that it can be
as we worry it may never be

My brain runs on emotion
as guided by my heart
every move I make is me
with no restrictions from fear

I am a girl
I am not a boy
Get the point

I stay dreaming of my feminine life
that I was deprived
and as the moment comes when it feels real
I am called from inner life
run by a dreamworld of my inner inabitions

I awake in haste
scooting to the mirror to say goodbye to me for the day
I see myself for a moment in farewell with happiness
Instantaneous she vanishes
switching with the stranger I know only to well
a frown appears upon my face
tears being held back if not raining down my face

Hatred grows for this stranger
vanquish of him that I long for

This stranger whom have been my cell
for which I have been bound within
making everyday feel like an eternity of unjust torture
I feel like a titan bound in Tartarus
As I feel like a vestal virgin buried alive within a closed off room left to rot

I am a girl
I am not a boy
Get the point

I hate myself for being selfish and stubborn
I envy my sister for having everything on a silver platter
I am unforgiving of my mother for not being there
I hate men for not being gentle and making me hate myself
I fear all because I am locked in a stranger's shadow

I lack to risk the outside world
for fear of all who know of me
for the girls that I envy
and all whom may hurt me

I fear to love because no one will ever love me

I do not socialize because I loose all that come in contact with me shortly after

I am a girl
I am not a boy
Get the point

Many may call me evil
because I've given in to the demons, committing a sin
Well who hasn't sinned, if im a demon so are you

This is more than thought or belief
this is fact
I am a girl with a cursed body that I will vanquish and no one can stop me
the only thing holding me back
is shackles from various obstacles

But shackles can be broken

I am told I live in a fantasy world
that I am an idiot
and that I am confused
Others tell me I am brave, strong and bright

I do not wish to be a martyr
I wish to be loved unconditionally

I am a girl
I am not a boy
Get the point

I may have become an unconvicted felon
to be what I am throughout the years
I apologize for that but I had to do what I had to do

Just as boys will be boys

I am a girl
and a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do

I wish
I want
I need to be supported
I need not to be hurt especially by those that claim they love and care for me

I am a girl
I am not a boy
Get the point

I ask to be loved for being the girl I know I am

I am a girl and shall always be a girl forever more

Forever and ever-after
I am, will be and have been a girl

I am a girl
I am a girl
I am a girl

Forever and ever for evermore
I AM A GIRL