Changes~7

I glanced at Jocasta, her kind face looking concerned. Was I
that
obvious, I wondered?


Changes

Chapter 7

By Susan Brown


 
 
Previously…

Jocasta took a sip from her cup and then looked at me somewhat inquisitively.

‘So Samantha, what is it that you’re running away from?’

And now the story continues…

I glanced at Jocasta, her kind face looking concerned. Was I that obvious, I wondered?

With tears welling up in my eyes, I gulped, then told her, hesitantly, a version of the truth. Naturally, I was unable to tell her everything–I had only just got to know her, and I wasn’t very big on trusting anybody at present.

‘I–I caught my other half in bed with someone else. I arrived home early and–and found them hard at it in the spare bedroom. They were so busy, they didn’t notice me. I didn’t stop: just packed a few things and walked out.’

‘Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry,’ said Jocasta taking hold of my hand, you must have been devastated.’

She gave my hand a squeeze then went to fetch a box of tissues, for which I thanked her.

‘So how and why did you decide to come here?’

Laughing through my tears, I explained how I had closed my eyes and plonked my finger on the map, deciding to let fate take a hand in the future.

‘Well, that’s a novel way of choosing a destination,’ she laughed, ‘so have you spoken to your partner since you walked out?’

I shook my head.

‘Will you?’

‘Probably, but not yet.’

‘No chance of a reconciliation?’

‘No; things haven’t been going well for a long time and this was the final straw that…’

Just then there was a noise of a door opening and then David walked in. He took one look at us and seemed to backtrack.

‘Sorry, girl talk. Erm…I’ll take your things upstairs, erm sorry, in all the kafuffle I’m afraid I’ve forgotten your name?’

‘Samantha.’

‘Oh yes, of course, silly me. Right, okay, erm, anyway, I’ll leave you two girls to continue your chinwag.’ And with that, he beat a hasty retreat.

‘His heart’s in the right place but he normally leaves this sort of thing to me. Anyway, I can tell that you’re still terribly upset by it; just remember, I’m always here, even if it’s only for a shoulder to cry on.’

‘Thanks, I really appreciate that. Look, I think I could do with a little walk to collect my thoughts, is it okay if I go out?’

‘My dear girl, you don’t need to ask; just come and go as you please.’

‘Thanks, I’ll go and get some shoes then I think I’ll take a stroll down to the harbour.’

‘Okay, I’ll have to start getting tea prepared soon. Any likes or dislikes? Are you a veggie or vegan?’

‘No, I’ll eat most things that aren’t actually moving on the plate.’

‘Thank The Lord for that, my two girls are so fussy, you wouldn’t believe it. Sometimes I swear they think I’m poisoning them!’

‘What time is tea?’

‘About six-thirty.’

‘I’ll be back before then.’

‘Okay, see you later then, dear.’

I went upstairs to my room. My cases were on the floor by the bed. Opening the one I knew had some shoes in, I put on some white sandals with next to no heels. I didn’t want a repetition of my mishaps earlier! Looking at the things in my cases reminded me that I need to go clothes shopping–sooner rather than later.

Before leaving, a glance in the dressing-table mirror showed that my makeup needed repairing, particularly around my eyes. Ten minutes later, I left the house, passed through the quiet graveyard and out into the lane.

Any clouds there had been had now vanished and the sky was clear and very blue. Being an artist, I have an interest in colour and really appreciated the clean and clear atmosphere and strong bright sunlight; so unlike London, which isn’t exactly free of atmospheric pollution.

French impressionists and neo-impressionists liked to go to the south of France because of the pollution-free light and everything here looked as sharp as a pin. As I strolled down the lane, everything I observed appeared to give me some inspiration. The dark recesses of my artist’s mind stirred and began to come to the surface. I decided there and then–no more office work for me and those oh so boring meetings; I would return to my first loves–painting and drawing.

Many of the houses I passed were whitewashed with brightly-painted doors, using all the colours of the rainbow. Some of the dwellings had neat gardens with low hedging or walls, others just opened on to the lane. The whole place had a clean and well looked-after air to it. As if the inhabitants really cared about how the village was kept.

I passed various people who either nodded or said hello; this was so much friendlier than I was used to. The seagulls wheeled about in the sky or sat on roofs making their normal raucous sounds. It was very seasideish–if that’s a word–and it brought back memories of happier times as a child, when we went to the seaside with my mum and dad.

Even at that young age, I wished that I was like Dawn, my sister who was a year younger than me. She got to wear pretty summer dresses while I was stuck with yucky shorts and t-shirts. We were very close then–Dawn and I–and I miss her a lot.

As she grew older, Dawn blossomed into an outgoing and vivacious person–the life and soul of the party. When I first went out with Olivia, she tried to be supportive but there were definite problems between the girls. She didn’t like Olivia and Olivia felt the same about Dawn. They never hit it off and me being rather stubborn, took the side of my wife.

Shaking my head free of these negative thoughts, I noticed that as I got nearer the harbour, there were more people and cars passing. The lane was pretty narrow and more than once I had to squeeze myself up against a wall to let a car go by. These roads were narrow for a horse and cart, let alone a car or lorry.

Obviously many in the crowd were holidaymakers; others I took to be locals, I’m no expert, but holidaymakers seem to dress differently. The sun was still warm but getting cooler by the minute which was nice as it had been very hot today. My two cups of tea had taken their toll and I needed a wee. Luckily there was a Ladies by the harbour wall and I was able to nip in there to do the necessary. It felt perfectly natural for me to be walking about as a woman. When I lived at home; the only times I went out en femme was when we went to an occasional transgender meeting. Olivia wasn’t keen on my having a female name so I had to be addressed as Tom, although the girls in the group laughingly called me Thomasina when Olivia was out of earshot.

I suppose it sounds as if I was under Olivia’s thumb and, in retrospect, probably was. At the time it seemed so natural and normal to fall in with her wishes. I was in love and they say love is blind. Well I must have been and look where it had got me?

I strolled along the quay, absorbing all the sights and the sounds. It was a busy, vibrant place with crowds of adults and children doing the same as me. There was a small kiosk selling Devon ice cream so I had a 99, which is a cone with ice cream and a chocolate flake stuck in it–yummy!

There was a pleasant seat near the edge of the quay so I sat there licking my ice cream and watching the boats bobbing about on the water. Some children in a rubber dinghy were rowing from one side to the other and having great fun, their bright yellow life jackets, contrasting against the blue of the water. Once again it brought back memories of my childhood when Dawn and I did exactly the same sort of thing. We messed about in boats, went rock-pooling and did the sand castle thing.

She had married a business executive some years ago and lived, strangely enough, not far away in Tavistock; they had a son and daughter of 6 and 8 respectively. I hadn’t spoken to her for ages so perhaps the time had come to mend some bridges. She knew about my dressing and had always been very supportive. My parents, sadly gone now, never really understood that side of me but loved me all the same.

I was wakened from of my retrospection when a man sat next to me on the bench. He was wearing a shirt and tie and looked a bit warm. I guessed he was in his late twenties or early thirties.

‘Do you mind?’ he asked

I shook my head.

We smiled at each other and then I continued licking my ice cream and people-watching.

‘That ice cream looks rather good. I think I might get one in a minute.’

‘Yes, it’s divine on a hot day like this.’

‘Mmm, it is hot, isn’t it? Are you here just for the day?’

I looked at him.

‘No, I’m staying for a while, you?’

‘I live here; gorgeous isn’t it?’

‘Wonderful.’

‘I’m Brian Sinclair–the local GP for my sins.’

‘Samantha Smart–artist, I suppose.’

‘Artist eh? Interesting–oh, you’re staying at the Vicarage with David and Jocasta.’

I looked at him with surprise.

‘H–How did you know that?’

He laughed at my expression.

‘The village grapevine; everyone knows about everything here almost before it happens. If I deliver a baby, it’s two to one that the whole village will know its sex and weight before I’ve cut the cord.’

Omygawd, what hope have I got to keep my secret? I looked around with suspicion, is everyone aware of who I am?

‘Don’t worry, until people put a face to a name, you’re just a tourist and I won’t tell anyone, hypocritic oath, you know.’

‘Isn’t that supposed to be Hippocratic oath?’

‘Probably,’ he said laughing, ‘Anyway if you’re staying a while you’ll need to sign on with me as your doctor. Or you could use my partner.’

‘Who’s he?’

She, and she’s my wife, Marcia.’

‘Are there any secrets between you?’

‘Only professional ones.’

‘You’re lucky.’

‘I suppose I am. Anyway, work calls; nice meeting you, Samantha, no doubt we’ll bump into each other again.’

He got up and as I said, ‘goodbye,’ he walked off briskly.

‘He seemed nice.’ I thought as I finished my ice cream.

I got up and ambled along the quay until I came to some steps leading down to the beach. I went down to the beach and took my sandals off. My feet felt wonderful as walked across the soft white sand to the shore, about forty yards away. The sand was still warm from the sun and felt wonderful as the grains squidged between my toes. There were several families on the beach with deck chairs, picnic hampers, blankets, buckets and spades, windbreaks–the list is endless. There was a gentle breeze and it felt pleasant as it wafted up and around my thin skirt. I love the smell of the sea, it’s so invigorating it freshens you up.

Deciding that my feet needed a treat, I hitched my shirt up a bit and waded into the sea, but only up to my ankles because the water was surprisingly cold. ‘Ooh!’ I squealed.

Once over the shock, I meandered along the shoreline, my feet sinking slightly into the wet sand as the water lapped over them. It was so peaceful and any tension that I had had drifted away with the slowly receding tide. As I sauntered, I considered my situation.

To me, this place was a dream come true, attractive, picturesque, quaint were all words that could describe the cove. The people I had met so far were very friendly, if slightly inquisitive. I would have to be very careful to hide my plumbing defect, otherwise I don’t know if I could stay there and I very much wanted to. Also, I couldn’t put off talking to Olivia much longer and I decided that I would speak to her tonight. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say yet, but I would worry about it when the time came.

Glancing at my watch, I decided to turn back. I didn’t want to lose brownie points for getting back late for tea!

Climbing back up the hill was harder going than coming down. As I puffed up the hill, it was clear that I was badly out of shape and decided there and then to get myself a bit fitter.

A woman with a young boy and a dog passed me by and I smiled at them. ‘Evening,’ I gasped as we crossed.

‘Hello, Samantha, welcome to the village,’ said the lady as she passed by with her dog straining at the leash with the little boy holding her hand and sucking strongly on a lollypop.

Ten steps further on I realised that she had called me by name and wondered how it came to be that she knew me?


 
To Be Continued...

Please leave comments...thanks!
My thanks also go out to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing and pulling the story into shape!
~Sue



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