Some Enchanted Girlfriend -19- Wear Under

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Some Enchanted Girlfriend

by Donna Lamb

19. Wear Under

Not wearing panties felt naughty, different than just being naked. I looked naughty in the dressing room mirror and I discovered that I enjoyed that. I had to suppress giggles almost every time I saw myself in the mirror. I began to doubt I’d ever been anyone other than the girl I could see.
Harlette had wrapped a tight little mini-skirt around my hips, it came down far enough to be decent if I didn’t bend over or spread my legs much but the lace tops of my hose showed above the boots and below the skirt. A light, translucent band-type top covered my nipples but left them sort of visible. The velvet corset showed between the top and the skirt, too.

We’d gone into the dressing room to pick out jewelry and so Harlette could do my make-up. After admiring my reflection, I sat down in the chair with my legs stretched out in front of me, ankles together, while she worked. Before we got started, though, I picked up Muffins the cat and put her on the dresser.

“Talk,” I told her.

She sat down and began to wash. This didn’t keep her from talking at all, of course. “First,” she said, “do you know who that Willie guy out there is?” Meaning Mr. Styx, the mummy in my bedroom.

I shook my head. “I’ve got some ideas but I’m not sure.” I thought he might be the original me, or at least my body, but that didn’t make any sense at all. And how come he did such an uncanny impression of my father singing “Clementine”? Of course, being a mummy, pretty much anything he did came under the heading, uncanny.

Despite being infatuated with my reflection, I still remembered having been a man. I didn’t want to think I’d been Mr. Styx but what was another absurdity before lunch?

“Okay, last night, Kate was using that guy to help her power a spell,” said the kitten. “She made a sex battery with him, her yin with his pitiful yang.”

At first I thought the cat had said ‘yen’ and ‘wang.’ Made sense either way. “Kate meaning me?” I asked, trying to keep things straight.

“Well, you, but you’re not all Kate and all of Kate is not you.” She stuck a back foot in an ear and stirred till her eyes rolled up. “Do you remember anything?” she asked calmly as if she practiced her auto-lobotomy skills everyday.

I nodded. “I remember some things but not specific stuff. And, and some of it seems to be from someone else’s viewpoint.” I didn’t like saying too much about what I remembered. It wasn’t so much that I thought I’d sound like a nutbar if I discussed it but I didn’t want anyone to think I was a chewy one.

“Hell’s Labradoodle Sanitary Patrol,” said Muffins. “We may never sort this out.” She still had a foot in her ear and a this-space-for-rent expression but that didn’t seem to effect her speech.

“Why didn’t she–I mean you, I mean Kate–why didn’t Kate call me to come help with a spell?” asked Harlette. She held a set of earrings up, hoops that looked like they might be nineteen-and-a-quarter inches around, too. “I went to Santa Monica to a new club but it was dead there.”

It occurred to me that in this bunch, that might not be a figure of speech. I had a mental image of a hundred or so Mr. And Miss Styxes slow dancing. I decided not to ask.

Earrings. Well, why not? But such huge ones? I nodded at the hoops and Harlette put the first one in. I pretended that it made me lopsided and flopped my head over to the left. I got one of Harlette’s gurgles as a reward.

Muffin shook her head, dislodging the foot from her brain. “It was kind of an emergency. This fool, Willie Convoy, Conrad, or something, came to her as a client. He had sex problems, of course, and she agreed to help him because he had a spark of talent.”

Sex problems. Why did that not surprise me? But talent? Magical talen? I wondered but I didn’t say anything, yet.

“How’s that an emergency?” asked Harlette. She balanced me out, both hoops grazing my shoulders if I moved a millimeter, and selected another pair of smaller hoops. To my surprise both of those went on the right side, apparently to make nice jangles.

“Frank Zed,” said the kitten, like it deserved a drum roll.

Outside, in the bigger room, Mr. Styx did make a noise, a rattling, sighing, thrashing about gasp; the sound someone who refused to scream might make while riding a bicycle full tilt into a blackberry hedge.

“Got his attention,” commented Harlette. She picked out a string of pearls for another piercing in my left lobe. Just how many holes in my head did I have? Did I have too many? Did I need more?

The noise out in the bedroom continued for a bit but eventually faded. Mr. Styx did not make an appearance in the dressing room just then. Good thing, too, it was entirely too close in there for someone who smelled like a pork barbecue gone terribly wrong.

“Frank Zed. Should I know the name?” I asked. I felt I almost did. I could see two images in my mind. A stylized FZ where the upper bar of the Z connected with the lower arm of the F in a circle that looked like the lens of a camera–or the barrel of a gun. The other image had a strongman kneeling and supporting a ballerina, the two of them contained in an outlined FZ.

I knew I had seen both images recently. They must be trademarks, I decided. One or both of them had been on the DVD cases I’d looked at earlier, that’s where I had probably seen them.

“He’s the producer of the Wendy Splendid videos,” said Harlette, confirming my guess while supplying my left wrist with a dozen or so thin bangles. “Company name FotoZed. His real name is Fernando Zettolini and his father and uncles are mobsters in Toronto, Canada. Carl Zed, Bobby the Pump Zetto, Nick Zetto. He goes by Frank Zed.”

I blinked. “They have mobsters in Canada?” I said.

“Of course they do,” Harlette commented. “It’s a civilized country. Mobsters are what you get in civilized countries. Elsewhere they call them gull-spanking warlords.” My right wrist got five bracelets, more substantial than the bangles on the left.

I held a delicate little hand out flat and waggled it to express my skepticism. Canadian mobsters saying, “Youse tryna be a wise guy, eh?” It didn’t seem likely.

All of the pieces of jewelry appeared to have some sort of affect; not the auras of living beings but something similar. I shook off the wonder of the jewels and the sociological speculation about or neighbor to the north and tried to get us back on point. “What about Zed?”

“He wants you back. Wendy, that is,” said Harlette. “You’re easily his biggest star, thirty nine movies in two years and every one of them still making him money. There are collectors out there who would buy any new Wendy Splendid movie. They’ve got a new girl using the name but everyone knows it ain’t you.”

“And,” said the kitten, “because you used magic when you made them, every time someone watches one and gets hot, but doesn’t cum, you collect the orgs.”

“Orgs?” I blurted. Royalties on porn? Hooda Thunkett?

“Orgs are the theoretical energy unit of sexual magic. It’s like a quantum bet on a cosmic dice table, cum or don’t cum.” Harlette’s explanation just confused me. What the heck did people use for chips in that game?

I looked back at the kitten. She crossed and uncrossed her eyes and I almost missed what she said next trying not to get a giggle caught crosswise.

“That’s right. Frank’s been wanting Kate to sign a new contract since the old one expired. But there’s no advantage to you, er, Kate, since you’ve pretty much got all the orgs you can use, now. The same people watching new videos wouldn’t generate much more....”

Mr. Styx at the doorway interrupted. “Hhhh. Rrrr. Hhhy, rrr. Rhr hhh hrr ryrh, yrrrrhrrhhh!” he said, gesturing earnestly with his bony, stick-like hands.

“He’s a creepy frond-licker but I think he’s trying to tell us something,” said Harlette.

“Tutankamon’s fallen down the well?” I gasped. Don’t hold your breath in surprise while wearing a tight corset–you run out of air real fast.

Behind him somewhere, my cellphone played “Only a Girl,” again. Mr. Styx slumped, like a tower made of popsicle skeletons when the glue softens. “Rhryrhyhh,” he said. “Rhh hyh yh.” He lurched away.

“Did he just say he’d get it?” Harlette asked.

“Hell’s Pimple-Encouraging Potato Crisps, I think he did,” said Muffins.

“Go get the phone away from him before he scares some credit card telemarketer out of her panties,” I said.

Harlette looked at me, gurgled, then dashed out of the dressing room to do as I had ordered. Hey, having an acolyte could be nice, I decided.

* * *
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Comments

If He Falls

. . .someone will have to Pick-up Styx. Just don't go for the black "rod" to quickly, even though it's worth 25 orgs.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

You don't know...

...I've tried to work that gag in. I'd just about given up on it. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Gags...

I keep expecting a 'he said dryly' after a quote from Mister Styx. Alas, I just ruined it by mentioning it. [snicker]

And then, there was the time that Muffin was threatening to crap in Connie's lingerie. I half expected Connie to muse, "Gee, I wonder if I ought to get a cage to keep the sweet little kitty from soiling my underwear," or something like that.

But I had already almost sprayed my screen with coffee, so it would have just been icing on the cake.

I still snicker when I think of an old gray tomcat with one ear being turned into a cute little calico kitten. We actually have an old gray tomcat (with both ears, though) and a bratty little calico that's about to be a mommy. Hopefully, she'll give us another calico or maybe a brindle or even a black kitty.

By the way, I definitely enjoyed Blue Moon. I think I'll give Green Sun a look-see after I get a little time. I'm supposed to be rebuilding and rearranging my office right now instead of goofing off on the internet. (But since I'm here, I ought to look up some info about Java and the AS400, since I have an interview coming up next week.)

Ray

Unfortunately

Green Sun is on hiatus. For about a year now. I do intend to get back to it, I have most of it planned out and actual plot ideas for two more sequels. Ideas are not my problem, getting the work done is. Time, energy and will. ::sigh::

Glad you're enjoying this one, too. And are you sure I haven't used "dryly" with Mr. Styx yet? ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Nooooo! It's too terrible to contimplate

You think you have a strange sense of humor Adonna, Angela? You don't want to know what a strange sense of humor is!

Nah, my Jack Nicolson sucks today ... Oh what a give a way!

I wanted to be good but my inner adolescent won't let me be.

About Mr Stixx ... I know about having a stiffy but the whole body? Is he any relation to Nikki Stixx?

Yes, this is 911, You say he's been stiff for hours after sex? Sounds like a Viagra overdose. Oh he's a stiff but still moving ... (Call the nut squad, we've got a live one )

Definitely one of yours, Adonna, I'm totally confused. And if changing sex increases ones Tantric powers, was Kate a former ... ? And was Tim always a guy?

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Tom Styxy

"I'm only mostly dead," he said stiffly. ::grin::

How's that one, Ray?

I usually have some leftover gags that I didn't get to use when I get done with a scene, maybe I should use a doggy bag? Of course, with Kate's specialty, she probably has a few gags lying around, she does like to have a ball now and then.

"Help, I've fallen and I can't get up," he said brokenly.

Hmm.

"I think I'll go make the coffee," she said perkily. ::smile::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

I Haven't a Thing to Wear

She said with naked pleasure.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Now I'll never

catch my twain," she said with a marked lisp. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Still enjoying the story...

and the colorful language is still a trip.

Someone really needs to fix up mister styx.

“Tutankamon’s fallen down the well?” I gasped. Don’t hold your breath in surprise while wearing a tight corset—you run out of air real fast.

[snicker] Someone has been watching Lassie.

Anyhow, it's starting to get a bit clearer... almost as clear as mud, even. I wonder if they're going to turn mister Styx into a girl so she can practice tantaric magic, and our lovely heroine will have another acolyte. Maybe Harlette (is she really a harlot?) will enjoy having a fellow acolyte to take over some of the more mundane tasks.

Meanwhile, it'll be interesting having two people with mutually scrambled memories trying to get things straight.

Ray Drouillard

Clear as mud...

...is about right. I don't know if you read Blue Moon but I kept a few last gags for the very end. I'm planning that here but some of the mysteries haven't even been introduced yet. We're a quarter to a third of the way through this, I figure, though it might end sooner.

I'm glad you're enjoying, and remember it's only been a few hours in the story even though it's been three weeks in real life. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Thanks, Ray...

That one got by me.

Eric

Gotta watch those collies

They're quick. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Styx And Stones

joannebarbarella's picture

Sounds like all he needs is a good blow job. Any volunteers? No? Surprise, surprise!! Where are your friends when you need them?
Joanne

That's just wrong!

::LOL::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

I'm wondering

if Tim has any idea whats going on in Kates apartment, Or does he know more than he's letting on?

Kirri

Good question

It's still an hour or two before Tim is due for their lunch date. And apparently, he left the building. Hmmm. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

I knew It!!!

I suspected Styx was Willie Conroy, I even guessed he was partaking in Tantric rituals with Kate, so I feel pretty happy right now :).
I just wonder what went wrong and where the real Kate is - or if the two of them are a blend of both?

The nature of Monkey is - Irrepressible!!!

The nature of Monkey is - Irrepressible!!!

All I can do...

...is giggle. You're a pretty good guesser but I've been palming aces. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

I'm Pretty Sure....

I'm pretty sure you've also been using your comment responses to mis-direct and further confuse your poor hapless readers. It does all add to the fun.

Would I do that?

Probably. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Almost Exactly the Response I Expected

I expected: "Who me?". Lots of fun.

I'm glad you took my comment as it was intended. I was pretty certain that you would.

I already had my snit-fit

It's not really like me not to take almost everything with a large dollop of sour cream humor. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

If Styx Was To

Get some sex energy, would he recover?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Could be...

Any volunteers? ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Someone said...

something about him needing a good BJ.

And no, I'm not volunteering. I'm not at all attracted to guys. (But in any case, before anyone touches him, he needs to be rehydrated or reconstituted or whatever.)

So, when are you going to get him reconstituted? Will Oil of Olay hydrating lotion help? We really need to wrap things up with him.

Ray Drouillard
[ducking and running]

::Groan::

Maybe we can just teach him to "Walk Like an Egyptian" and send him out to a disco. ::grin::

I'm having some trouble getting the next episode ready. Looks like tomorrow morning or way late tonight if not tomorrow afternoon. Sorry about that, my head is just full of diesel fumes or something. I didn't even have much to do at work today and I still couldn't get this in shape. ::grump::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

No Worries

Frank's picture

We'll be here to read it when you are ready :)

Hugs

Frank

Hugs

Frank

I tried

I'm not going to make it tonight. All day I've been thinking with warmed over cinnamon-and-maple-flavored oatmeal for brains. The flavor is nice but I can't read the text through the milk. Is that a raisin?

See you tomorrow. ::smile::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

That

seems raisinable to me! :p

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Ouch!

What a thing to wake up to. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna