Eileen in Genderland Part 2 by Andrea DiMaggio

“Then it’s settled,” Colleen Reagan said as Karen and Eileen finished clearing the table after lunch. “You.” She hesitated. “Your brother and your father over for dinner Sunday, sweetheart.”

Sweet Seventeen  
In Memory of John Hughes (February 18, 1950 - August 6, 2009) 

“Then it’s settled,” Colleen Reagan said as Karen and Eileen finished clearing the table after lunch. “You.” She hesitated. “Your brother and your father over for dinner Sunday, sweetheart.” Coleen really didn’t want to differentiate between Eileen and Eric, as it were. She and her husband Paddy had accepted, even grown fond of Eileen. You may recall from Part One that Eileen was the femme persona of Eric Connors, and that she was only recently “out.” Her father Jamie had learned about Eric’s alter-ego in a session with Eric’s counselor, and had surprisingly accepted Eileen as a member of the family. She had begun to participate in the day-to-day function of the Connors family. Jamie’s only concern was that Eric wouldn’t be around, so to speak, whenever Eileen was. She had assured her father that Eric really never “went away,” however, and that he had both daughter and son.

It was a unique and altogether freeing feeling to know that Karen’s family had accepted her as well. Colleen was as loving a person as ever walked the earth, and Paddy’s response to Eric’s “sister,” had been, “So what, who the fook cares.” Rather crude, but deep down, Paddy accepted the “daughter” of one of his best mates, having known the family since Eric was adopted by Jamie when he married Eric’s mom, Annie. And as Coleen had said, “Paddy, the lad just lost his mother, can you go easy on him?” And you may also recall that the family was used to this sort of stuff since Colleen’s brother was a “dresser,” as she put it, since he was twelve, and completely accepted by the family. Danny King was married with two lovely teenage girls, but also “dressed up well,” as her cousin Mary Pat had said. In fact, he had won the title of “Miss Trans-Dublin” in 1984 only two weeks before his wedding. The family had kidded him about who would wear the dress at the wedding, but Danny had held that aspect of his relationship with his wife Bridgette sacred, and he never mixed the two. So Paddy “accepted” Eileen. But really, beneath the bravado and Irish bluster, Paddy was a kind and compassionate man who knew that his own life was one of grace and forgiveness like all of us, and he was more than willing to accept Eric, even if it meant that Eileen came over to his house from time to time.

Karen, on the other hand, was conflicted, as many girls often are when their best friend, and Eileen was her best friend, is the other half of a boy whom she had also grown fond of. She was faced with a choice of her own making; she really didn’t have to choose, which she would discover shortly, but now she was faced with a dilemma as to which Connors child she would have to disappoint.

Coleen explained that Bridey O’Casey, Paddy’s cousin, would also be coming for dinner Sunday, and she didn’t want to “scare her off,” as she put it. Karen didn’t understand her mother’s rationale, since Bridey owned a successful photography studio in Philadelphia, and some of her clientele were just like Eileen, if you follow me. Her work had been featured nationally, and she was a terrific artist with the camera, uniquely known for portraits and fashion shoots as well as her landscapes. So why would her mother be concerned? Colleen had an ulterior motive for inviting Eric and his dad; she was hoping that Bridey and Jamie would hit it off; Jamie’s wife had died suddenly, but it was sixteen months since her death, and Colleen had wondered, correctly, if Jamie was lonely.

“I perfectly understand, Mrs. Reagan,” Eileen said softly. It wasn’t that Eric was effeminate, per se. But his and “her” voice were nearly identical, which was one of the things Karen found attractive. Think of Sigourney Weaver, softly speaking as Dian Fossey, but also shouting like Ripley from Aliens.

“Honey, we may have you over later in the week, but we don’t want to shock Bridey just yet.”

At least until she had set up Bridey and Jamie. Bridey was in similar circumstances as Jamie. Like his late wife Annie, Bridey was a few years older than Jamie. She was a widow as well. It had been six years since her policeman husband, Sgt. Phil O’Casey, had been killed in a horrific accident when he had been hit by a speeding car while standing at the side of another car he had pulled over for a minor traffic offense. Bridey was well over the initial grief, even if she still missed Phil dearly every day. Colleen knew that Bridey was lonely, even in the midst of success and surrounded by people every day.

Paddy had just walked up from the basement where he was working on a cedar chest for Karen (perhaps in anticipation of future events?) He looked at Eileen, cocked his head as if to decide to whom he was talking, and finally said,

“Eileen, darlin’ would you be tellin’ your dad that we’ve got a spot on the Rugby team for the comin’ season and that your brother might tink about comin’ out?” Eileen smiled, both politely outwardly and in a connection with Eric’s male ego she thought to herself,
”Yes!” Paddy teased Eileen. You may recall how they “met” at the Rugby playoff a few months ago. Paddy didn’t “read” Eileen” per se, he had “known the lad since he was five,” as Paddy put it, and Eric had been like one of his own family.

Eileen smiled once again, graciously, being truly thankful that she had been accepted by the Reagan family in general and Karen in particular. The confusing part of it all for her was that after so many months, she wasn’t sure who liked Karen more; her or her “brother.” And neither Eileen nor Eric was sure how they stood; did Karen want more than a friendship? Karen had made up her mind already, but each would find that her choice was happily not at the expense of the other.

Karen decided to walk Eileen the few blocks home to her house. The two were only about a half-mile from Karen’s house when a car suddenly pulled up by the curb and stopped. A way-too-familiar figure got out and rushed up to the pair.

“Still seein’ the fag, I see, “Gary said, pointing to Eileen. You may recall that Gary, Karen’s former boyfriend was persona non grata in the Reagan household after accosting Eileen and embarrassing and betraying Karen publicly a few months ago (see Part One). Both Karen and Paddy had told him to “get the fook outta here,” to the surprise of Paddy and to the chagrin of Colleen, who had heard the exchange while waiting patiently in the van all too close to avoid hearing her daughter swear for the first and last time in her life.

Ignoring Eileen, Gary grabbed Karen roughly by the wrist and began pulling her toward the car; an entirely foolish idea since even if in his delusions he had succeeded in persuading Karen to resume their relationship, it would be short lived, as he would be just another entry in the obituaries in the Philadelphia papers. Surely you’ve heard the expression, “Dead men tell no tales.”

Karen started to cry, which should have been an indication to Gary that his plans were not only stupid but doomed to failure, but he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the pack, as they say. He continued to pull on the girl’s wrist when he heard a voice from behind him, somewhat feminine, but very forceful say,

“Get your hands off her, you…” No expletive, just YOU! Gary looked around to see who had uttered the threat. All he thought he saw was a sweet young lady in a nice long maroon corduroy skirt with matching suede boots, a copper brocade jacket over a jade silk blouse. She wore her hair back with a maroon ribbon and she appeared to be crying. Gary blinked his eyes once and started to laugh, but he didn’t let Karen go. The girl said once again, this time louder; loud enough for the neighborhood to hear,

“Get your hands off her!”

This was too rich, Gary thought. Here he was, six-two, a starting wide-out for the football team being challenged by a girly-boy (his words, not mine.)

“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen” He turned his back on Eileen and began again to cruelly yank on Karen’s arm; she was crying harder at this point, and for good reason; he had just sprained her wrist. Two warnings were sufficient, like a warning shot before the kill. Eileen calmly walked over to Gary and tapped him gently on the shoulder. He turned around and started to say, “Look…” That was all he got out before he found himself flat on his back on the grass in someone’s yard. That someone’s yard happened to be the yard of the Athletic director from the high school. (More about that later)

He tried to sit up but Eileen knelt down over him and punched him once in the stomach.

“If you ever touch her again, you’ll be singing soprano in the school choir,” she said through angry tears as she stepped ever so gracefully on Gary’s crotch. “Do I make myself clear?” (Ripley…Aliens?) The next few moments played out like an odd version of a John Hughes movie (God rest his creative soul). The big football hero got up and ran to his car, but not before turning around to see Jerry Davis, the school athletic director standing on his front steps, witness to the entire event(you may remember him from Salvation.) He was not at all pleased with the starting wide-out, correction, former starting wide-out for the football team. Suffice to say, Gary was on his best behavior from then on until graduation, and never bothered them ever again.

Eileen walked Karen back to her house and Colleen got an icepack for Karen’s wrist. None of them said anything at all to Paddy about this, preferring not to see his face on the six-o’clock news for …well, you can imagine. Karen sat on the couch while Eileen gently held the ice bag on Karen’s wrist.

“Why don’t I put on the kettle for some cocoa?” Colleen suspected that neither girl needed cocoa at that point, and provided them with the one thing they did need; privacy.

“I’m very sorry you had to see me that way, but he was hurting you.” There were tears in both girls’ eyes; Karen out of..Well…out of admiration for Eileen. Eileen was embarrassed and had decidedly but understandably conflicted feelings at that moment. Karen helped with the conflict and embarrassment when she suddenly leaned closer and kissed Eileen, less than a girlfriend but more than a sister, as some might say. Eileen wanted to protest. She went to pull away, but Karen grabbed her by the neck with her good arm and held her, kissing her again, much more like a girlfriend and not at all like a sister. Senior year in high school always promises new possibilities, new ideas; new everything. And this was brand new for both girls. Sweet seventeen and never been kissed…until now. Oddly, Karen felt just like Gabrielle to Eileen’s Xena. But Eileen wasn’t a warrior; Karen knew that, of course; we all know that. Karen was caught up in the romance of the moment. And of course, Eileen never thought of herself as a warrior. She was just protecting the girl she loved.

Next: New Members in the Family?