An Angel's Kiss
 
by Maggie O'Malley aka Maggie the Kitten
 
A Kitten Tale written 6 years ago but never previously posted.

This story is written for all of us who have been blessed to be touched by the light and the love Becky is. I had no plans to write this when I got up Friday morning. Without thinking I grabbed the jar of peanut butter for my toast and suddenly all I could think of was Becky making peanut butter and jelly samwiches. I started sobbing again as I had for most of the day before, but when I finally pulled myself together again I felt an undeniable urge to write. I began writing about my life, my chatroom family and specifically, the events of my life the day Becky died and about how I was sure she came to visit me. I don't know if she is leading my hand or just trying to heal my heart, but I think she wanted me to write this and share it with you. I can only hope it brings you some happiness, for I know that above all else, Becky wants us to be happy.

Becky, thank you for being my cousin, my friend, my bestest playmate and now my guardian angel. I will love and remember you forever, princess.

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The near-forty year old woman stared into the bathroom mirror. The face that greeted her was tired, drawn and had little resemblance to that of a lady her age. The tall, slender, but almost shapeless woman pulled her bleached blonde hair back in a pony tail to scrub her face and remove today's left-over makeup. She brushed her hair back and then tightly secured it with a cloth tie. Exposing her ugly brown roots made her sigh sadly, but it was the site of her ever receding hair line that made her cringe and feel sick to her stomach. She had been told ever since she was little that a woman's crown of glory was her hair. She examined her brush heavy laden with hair and a tear trickled down her face as she knew her crown was disappearing with each days brushing.

Realizing her hair was falling out would be a traumatic experience for most any woman, but for Maggie it was devastating because she wasn't like most other women. She had been born with the same heart, soul, wishes and desires as any other little girl, but sadly all those things had been imprisoned in a boy's body.

Ever since she could remember she wanted to be a girl, dreamed of being a girl and prayed to be a girl. Once she got into high school she began to realize that she really was a girl, even if know one could see it or believe it. Sadly, there was very little she could do then to feminize her body or her clothes and show the world that girl within. The only thing she could do was to grow her hair long and even that met with stern resistance from a father who was already concerned about his son's lack of masculinity. Fortunately mother prevailed and convinced father to let their son grow his hair out provided it was kept clean.

Maggie's hair was thick as most girls in school, and had a natural honey blonde quality that many girls sought to recreate with the help of Clairol. She was tall, but slender and when her hair grew to shoulder length she received many a whistle from boys on her way to school, who say only long hair and even longer legs. Blushing like the school girl she was at heart, she would always turn away and hurry toward the building. She would pray they wouldn't see her boys face and shatter her Rapunzel illusion.

Now some twenty years later, time had taken the honey blonde from her locks and replaced it with a dull brunette. If that wasn't enough, the curse of the xy chromosome had begun stealing her crown from her one hair at a time.

She shook her head as she looked at the pill bottles sitting on the shelf next to the mirror. She couldn't understand why her hair was falling out. Those magic estrogen bullets she had been taking for nearly five years in combination with the testicles removal she had four years ago were supposed to slay the evil testosterone beast. In simple terms, she wasn't supposed to be suffering from male pattern baldness. The books she had read ravenously told her the hair loss should stop once the estrogen levels were normal and the testosterone was gone. Her doctor who had little experience with transsexuals (the clinical classification for those who suffer from this malady) told her that he believed her hormone levels were consistent with a woman her age, and that perhaps the hair loss was stressed related.

Maggie shook her head and smiled sadly as she thought about her doctor's brilliant diagnosis. She was pushing forty, had a miserable low paying job as a meter maid, was not particularly passable as a woman, would probably never be able to afford gender reassignment surgery because insurance companies refused to recognize her malady as necessary surgery, and … she was slowly going bald. Yeah, she was familiar with stress.

Maggie cleaned the last bits of make-up off and then applied the night cream that promised to work miracles. She chuckled lightly as she replaced the cap on the jar. She was in need of miracles alright, but none she would ever hope to find in the bottom of a jar of moisturizer.

Properly prepared for sleep time, she decided to hit the kitchen and get one last glass of Diet Pepsi before heading off to bed. She poured herself a shot of her favorite poison and carried it with her into the living room. It was nearly eleven and well past her bed time but she needed a few minutes to unwind after the long day.

Easing into her comfortable rocker, she sat her glass down on the end table next to a picture of a woman and three children. The snapshot caught her eye and she picked it up, smiling lovingly at the images within it.

The young woman surrounded by the children was Maggie's best friend and adopted sister, Deb. The genetic woman sensed the female presence imprisoned within a male body the first time they met, and they soon became fast friends.

Once Maggie got the legal documents to back up her new name and status, Deb offered her friend a home to move into and family to be a part of. Maggie graciously accepted the offer and in return helped her friend with the bills, the house and the caring of the children.

The woman sat the picture back down on the end table and sighed as she thought of the kids. Most transsexual women in their thirties would be thrilled to be able to share in the joys of raising children, but Maggie lacked the most sacred of all women's attributes. She had no maternal instinct. She didn't hate the kids. On the contrary, she cared deeply for them, but she really didn't like raising them and Deb could see how uncomfortable she was in that role. She noted the pain and frustration in her friend's eyes whenever she had to watch the kids for any extended length of time. Deb attributed it to the fact that Maggie simply was not a "kid person" and she tried to arrange her schedule so as to not ask her friend to take the kids often. Maggie had lived with Deb for over a year, before the mother found out that her friend actually was a "kid person", only not quite the way she had expected.

Maggie had spent hours talking to Deb about how much she missed never getting to be a little girl, but it was not until that little girl started visiting Deb at nights that the woman realized just how much that little girl was a part of her adult friend.

Deb awoke in the wee hours of the morning, when she heard someone talking in the living room. Upon investigation she was surprised to find Maggie sitting on the floor talking to, and playing with her stuffed lion. Deb asked Maggie if she was alright, but her adult friend did not answer. Instead, a little girl nodded and smiled at her as she said, "I is otay. I is just playin with Lion."

As best as Deb could tell Maggie was sleep walking, only she appeared wide awake and very much in the mindset of a little girl. The experienced mother treated Maggie the same as her own little girl and eventually got her back into bed and tucked in with her lion. The next morning she confronted Maggie with the events of the night before and her friend had no recollection whatsoever.

After a second Little Maggie sighting a few weeks later, Deb confronted her friend again and this time Maggie broke down and poured out her heart to the concerned woman. While Maggie was trying very hard to attain the body and the life of an adult woman, her soul, her heart and real dream all belonged to that of a little girl. She had no true desire for the attributes of an adult woman's world. She pursued them now because she had no choice. There were no pills or technology that would make her body match the little girl within and give her the childhood she had been denied.

Deb finally understood her friend now. It was not that her friend didn't truly have a maternal instinct. She was in reality just too young for it to manifest itself. She was ready to mother dolls and stuffed lions, not other children. The pain and frustration she saw in Maggie's eyes came from the envy she was feeling, because Deb's children were living the life Maggie could not.

From that point on, Deb encouraged her friend to let the little girl out every chance she could. Little Maggie continued to make her occasional night visits and once in awhile she might peek out on a lazy evening when Deb would let Maggie cuddle next to her on the couch.

During the last year, Maggie also found another outlet for her little girl. She had found a transsexual site on the internet, and eventually stumbled into a chatroom where she found many wonderful souls who welcomed the little girl and showered her with love, cuddles and magic. For Maggie, the chatroom was the only place in her waking world where she could step out of the prison that was her body and truly be free. The friends there who took her in understood living a life and in a body that didn't match their souls, for many of them suffered from the same curse. It wasn't long before the little girl was adopted into the chatroom family and she had aunts, and sisters, and mommas, and special friends and even other little girls to play with. It was a dream come true.

Maggie or "Kitten" as her internet friends had aptly christened her was not only encouraged to live her dreams within the magic of the chatroom, but to write about them. Crystals Story Site, which was the home of the chatroom, also contained a huge amount of transsexual based fiction and many of Maggie's new friends were authors. Maggie had always liked to write, but she hadn't written anything since she had shamelessly portrayed herself as a young teenage girl for almost three years in pen pal letters. She had deceived and hurt several innocent individuals in her quest to live as a girl and since then she hadn't wanted to write. Now, with a safe outlet for writing and friends to support her, she felt the desire to try again.

With the child controlling the crayon and her chat family urging her on, she wrote a number of little "kitten tales" and in each one the little girl lived. She was very pleased when most were as well received as she had been.

Sadly, Maggie had limited access to her friends and the chatroom world she lived to play in. She did have a small, very old computer at home she affectionately called her "kitten komputer", and she could read and write stories on it, but with no phone in the house, she had no internet access or gateway to her special place.

When she first found the chatroom, not having home internet access wasn't a huge problem. She was unemployed and she could spend half the day playing in chat and the other half writing, but she had taken a meter maid job about six months earlier, and since then her computer time had become severely curtailed. Still, at least she had the evenings, and as soon as she came home from work she would jog to the library, get on online, and let the little girl out to play.

As of six weeks before, her playtime decreased even further. Maggie's friend Deb took a new job on second shift, which meant that Maggie had to come straight home from work, pick up the kids from the babysitter and watch them for the rest of the night.

The main library was open short hours on weekends but was usually so overcrowded that she would be lucky if she could get thirty minutes of computer time. This left her only access being her lunch break and what time she could steal from her job to duck in to the local university and chat on their public access computers.

Maggie took her last swallow of diet soda, and stretched out her tired aching legs. The right knee was swollen again, protesting the three mile daily walk to and from work, and the ten hours bicycling her ticket route.

Her day started at five a.m. and always on a sad note. The fact that she could easily stretch her long arm over to her night stand and turn off the alarm, told her that her prayer she had taken to G_d every night for the last thirty years had went unanswered again. She was still a little girl stuck in an adult's body, and with plenty of adult responsibilities waiting for her.

First thing she would do was hit the fridge for a shot of eye-opening diet soda. Then she would hit the shower, slip on her meter maid monkey suit and throw on a little make-up so that the world could at least see she was trying to be a woman. If she hurried, she had time for a few bites of toast, and another shot of diet, before she pulled her thinning hair into a pony tail, tucked it out the back of her ball cap and then headed off to work.

From 7 to 6 she would be meter maid Maggie, or as some of the regulars on her route referred to her as, "that bitch on the bike." Sadly, she actually took that as a compliment for a least being called a bitch was being called a female, and quite often she was called anything but.

Over the course of her ten hour shift she patrolled the meters and zealously dished out anywhere from 70 to 100 tickets a day. Some irate business owners and motorists thought she was a bit too zealous in issuing tickets and when they voiced their opinions, Maggie often earned her "bitch on the bike" moniker.

Her boss had warned her not to argue with people as it was bad publicity and not safe, but all too often Maggie's Irish temper got the best of her. She carried so much frustration from living a life sentence imprisoned in the wrong body, and from being surrounded on the streets everyday by little girls and young women living her dream, that it often spilled over into her job.

Her chatroom friends had given her advice on how to remain calm but when irate motorists would start complaining or take a gender cheap shot at her, she often exploded in rage before she could put any of it to use.

Once the shouting match had ended, Maggie would wobble away on her bike, drained from the emotional outburst and ashamed for having blown her cool again. Sandwiched between venting rage on the motorists and pulling out the daggers she took to the heart every time she saw the little girls walking hand in hand with their momma's through the park, she ran to the computer and in to the chatroom. She would fill her pockets with all the love and cuddles she could carry so that when she logged off, she had something to make her feel warm for the rest of the day and when you write tickets in the pouring rain and freezing snow, warm is a very precious day.

She would roll back to the office at six, place her trusty steed in the garage, and walk home to assume her place as evening and night babysitter for the two little ones. She tried to listen patiently to their day's adventures, as she prepared their dinner. After dinner and dishes, she gave the little girl her bubble bath which delighted her the same as it would any little girl and then sent the boy to the shower, always reminding him to use the soap since he had a propensity for playing and not washing, which was also like any little boy.

Once both kids were cleaned up, and got last drinks, she tucked each one in and gave them a cuddle. Wishing them sweet dreams she slipped from the room and then headed to the living room to collapse in front of her computer screen. If she was lucky, she could stay awake long enough to type a few emails or a page or two of a story. Finally, she would trudge off to bed, saying her prayers and fitfully sleeping until she had to get up and start it all over again.

Today had actually been better than most for Maggie. It was Wednesday which meant she’d only had to work a half day. She had gotten home by one and in time to spend a few minutes with Deb before she headed off to work. Now that Maggie was home, the little girl wouldn't be sent off to afternoon care as she had come down with a cold that morning.

Deb left Maggie with medicine and the usual instructions before leaving. Maggie gave the sick little imp her afternoon dose and left her to play in her room for awhile. The boy would go straight to day care after school and not be brought home until seven. Sadly, Maggie wasn't going to be able to slip off to the library to play in the chatroom as she did on some Wednesday's, but at least she would have several hours to type a few letters that she could email tomorrow.

She peeked in on the little one before starting her posts and found that the medicine had already began working her magic as the child had fallen asleep on her bed. Maggie slipped the little girl's favorite doll under arm and draped a blanket over her before heading to the computer to write.

She fired up her "kitten komputer" and decided the first letter she needed to write was to Jenna, or as the little girl within called her, Aunt Jenna. Aunt Jenna was a woman who like Maggie had been imprisoned in the wrong body. Jenna and Maggie were both pre-ops who felt they were not particularly passable to the world as women and probably would never have the monies for surgeries to help correct that. Their bodies were similar in size and about the same age but their souls were different like two sides of the same coin.&&

Jenna's little girl within grew up and became a woman, and like most women her age longed for all the attributes and joys of being a young woman. As much as she longed to be a willowy strawberry blonde with green eyes and all the beauty, it was her maternal instinct she wanted to satisfy above all else. Most genetic women in thirties faced with being unable to bear children would be devastated and Jenna was no exception. In every way that truly mattered, Jenna was a genetic woman with tons of love to give a child and a desperate need to give it; yet sadly that need was never going to be met in the real world.

Fortunately for Jenna, her unmet needs in reality could be met within the magic of the chatroom. Just as Jenna and many other women who came there shared their pain of being childless, so came the "children" like Maggie who longed to be little girls and have a mother to love them.

Children, especially lonely and frightened ones, have built in "momma radar" and they sense "Kool-aid moms" when they are near them. Momma's can hear children crying in their hearts before the sound ever leaves their lips. Jenna's need, the needs of two children and a little help from Jenna's sister Shelly, eventually brought the three souls together and created a family.
Jenna became the proud mother of two wonderful little girls. They shared her physical characteristics and her loving nature. Becky was the oldest at eight, and Cathleenwas the baby at three. They were a pair of chatroom angels and Jenna couldn't have been any happier or proud to call them her own. The magic and the miracle that love and need created within the chatroom even translated into the real world beyond. Even though outside the chatroom they were trapped in their prisons again, and separated by thousands of miles, the bond they forged as mother and daughter and sister still existed. To Jenna, they truly were her little girls in any reality, and to Becky and Cathleen, Jenna was there momma, and they each others sister.They each acknowledged the fact that they in reality they were three adults and supported each other as adult friends, but in their hearts and souls they were a family of one momma and two little girls and they lived that life as best they could.

Maggie had met Jenna in the chatroom when she began playing with her Becky. The two little girls were the same age and became best friends almost instantly. Together with Cathleen tagging along the three little girls played every chance they got, and Maggie soon captured a spot in Jenna's heart as well. Somewhere between baking cookies in Jenna's chatroom kitchen and planning a sleep-over, Maggie became Jenna's adopted niece and Jenna became Maggie's Aunt Jenna.

The arrangement filled all four of their hearts with love and it even got better when Shelly opened her heart and her arms and adopted Maggie the Kitten as her own daughter. This made Jenna's title of aunt legitimate, since Shelly was Jenna's sister and the three little girls became cousins.

Shelly's real life existence had been particularly hectic and she had not been able to spend a lot of time with her new daughter. Fortunately for Maggie, Aunt Jenna was more than willing to watch out for her little niece and that brought Maggie even closer to Jenna and her two cousins.

Maggie routinely wrote Aunt Jenna letters, both from the prospective of a child, and the troubled adult. The letters from the little girl were written in cyber-crayon and in true kitten prose. Maggie often described future adventures she had planned for Becky and Cathleen, and the little girl dreams she had. Those letters warmed Jenna's heart and often made her cry tears of joy.

The letters from the adult were often sad and full of hopelessness and depression. The words were familiar to her, for they were her own words and her own depression. Maggie so much reminded her of herself several years ago that the adult letters brought tears to her eyes, only these were of deep sadness.

Maggie spent the next several hours mostly writing in the adult prospective. Recently, she had hurt two people she loved very much and she was still dealing with the pain. She had given Shelly great joy at becoming her daughter, and Maggie loved having her as a mother, but she should never have given her heart to Shelly as she had already pledged it another woman she loved very much and called mother.

Maggie the adult knew what she had done was wrong, but the little girl couldn't help herself. She truly loved her first momma and yet somehow she loved Shelly as momma too. When Shelly offered to be her mother, the little girl couldn't say no, and the adult stayed shamefully silent.

Of course, the inevitable happened and the two momma's met face to face, each claiming exclusive rights to their daughter. When the dust finally settled, Maggie admitted she had given herself to both of them and in doing so broke both their hearts and left them with wounds that would never heal. The little girl in her overpowering need to be loved, held and claimed by a momma, had latched on two of them and as a result nearly lost them both.

Ashamed and heart broken, the little girl and the adult both ran away from the chatroom and their family, yet in her heart, the adult knew she had to face the two women and the pain. It took her nearly a week but eventually she faced them and made peace with both women. Each was willing to step aside and allow Maggie to have the other as her mother if that was her true desire, but the little girl still loved them both.

In the end, the two women loved the little girl so much that they both were willing to be her friend first and then a mother if she needed one.

Maggie leaned heavily on her Aunt Jenna as she dealt with her pain and the pain she had caused the two women. Jenna was never one to write emails often, but realizing it was almost the only link she had to her niece, began writing her each day, sometimes more than once, just so she knew she wasn't alone and was still loved.

Maggie's letter today dealt with that pain she had caused in the chatroom and the every day pain she felt in her own life and for the suffering souls around her. She talked to her Aunt Jenna about babysitting Deb's children and how difficult it was for her to fill the role of surrogate momma in the woman's absence. Maggie the adult fed the children, bathed the little girl, read to the kids, tucked them in, and watched over them at night, but their was no one there to do those things for the little kitten within her and both Maggie's cried.

Maggie told Aunt Jenna that her pain and hopelessness often made her feel like ending her own life, but the courage she saw in those around her who dealt with far greater pain, gave her the inspiration to face her own.

Of all the brave souls Maggie knew, there was one whose courage stood out above all others, and that was none other than her favorite playmate and Cousin Becky. Rebecca Anne Stewart, the adult woman who often came to the chatroom as Becky, the happy and loving little girl, was dying of cancer. By the time Maggie had met her, her life was being measured in days and weeks. Rebecca was an incredible woman with a passion for writing and for life. A lesser person might have allowed themselves to be consumed in self-pity and depression but not Rebecca. Even in her darkest pain filled hours, she was still reaching out to others, offering love and support to all those who needed it, and sharing her literary gift by writing the story of her own battle with cancer in a tale known as Hot Crossings. She took us through her journey not just so we would know her pain and her courage, but in some small way to know that of the children that lay dying and sick in cancer wards everywhere. Comforting those sick children and making their story known to us was far more important than giving in to the pain.

Even though Rebecca was in and out of the hospital, constantly battling the cancer and sleeping more and more from the morphine she took to ease the pain, she used nearly every waking moment to continue her writing and to reach out to her chatroom friends in the form of a little girl named Becky.

While Rebecca would be there for anyone who needed the adult, she began appearing in the chatroom almost exclusively as the little girl within and Becky's presence seemed to lift her spirits as well as those of her friends and family.

For Rebecca, being the little girl was better than the morphine. For a short period of time, she got to leave death behind and just be a happy little girl with a momma, a baby sister, and friends and family who loved her. The little girl bounced around the chatroom, playing with her sister, giving and taking cuddles, and doing the one thing that her adult counterpart always tried to do, making people feel happy and easing their pain.

Becky's presence eased did just that, as it made the uncomfortable situation of dealing with a friends impending death fade away into a cloud of pink smoke. They could spend these last few days laughing with and loving their friend, instead of crying with her because after she was gone, there would be plenty of time for that.

Becky came to chat as often as the morphine and Rick, the guardian angel who watched over her would allow, but knowing that Maggie didn't get much time to come to chat, she left standing orders to be awakened should her special little playmate make an appearance.

When the two little girls got together in the big room all serious discussion eventually went by the wayside as the kids pretty much stole the show. Quite often, Cathleen the little toddler, and Beagle Bailey the playful pup joined in and it usually became a giggle and hug fest.

The girls did everything from having a full scale pots and pans parade to wearing capes and aluminum foil crowns as they played princesses. They giggled, they played, they cuddled, they dreamed of summers yet to come and with Jenna's assistance baked cookies and brownies. They always made sure to rope the grownups in when they could, stealing hugs and kisses, and using their princess "specters" to knight anyone who foolishly got close enough to get whacked.

The play time was life giving medicine to a dying woman, a chance for Cathleen and Maggie's true spirits to live, an opportunity for Jenna to enjoy watching her daughters and niece play, and way for all of Becky's family and friends to spend happy time with someone they loved very much.

Even when the sickness chased Becky into the chatroom and she couldn't play long before having to take a seat on the FPC, (Crystal’s Storysite chat room 1’s Fluffy Pink Couch- Holly), Maggie, Cathleen and the adults would cuddle with her until it was time for her momma to carry her off to bed. Maggie so loved her little friend and so wanted to be with her that she would ask her Aunt Jenna if she could take a nap next to Becky and the young woman would carry her little niece up the stairs and place her next to her sleeping daughter. Kissing them both, she would cover them with a blanket lovingly before returning to the big room.

Maggie had closed her long letter to Aunt Jenna by telling her that she didn't know how much more she could write. She was tired of writing the same pain-filled letters about the same impossible dreams. They only depressed her and those who read them. More importantly, they changed nothing.

She even doubted her ability to write happy little "kitten tales" anymore. She said she felt like she had written about all the dreams, hopes and happy endings she had left in her.

No sooner than she had finished her letter, Deb's teenage son came in to bring the little boy home from daycare. Maggie shutdown the computer and switched into babysitter mode. She spent the next three hours getting the kids fed, cleaned up and into bed. Once done, she returned to the computer and decided to write a second letter. She was compelled by love to write this one because it was for her playmate Becky.

Maggie knew even if she couldn't find the words for anyone else, she had to find the words for Becky. Since Maggie's access to the internet was so limited and Becky could only be there for short periods, Maggie tried to write her as often as she could. The letters were all written in cyber crayon and in her best "kitten prose". They were true little girl letters about things as simple as spending a fun-filled day with her momma, when Shelly played hooky from work or about being sick with tummy bugs and how Aunt Prue from Sealand babysat her and made her all better. Sometimes they were just dreams and plans for the summer they were both looking forward too.

When Becky went into the hospital and lost internet access, Maggie tried to write her every day she could, as Rick would faithfully deliver the letters to her daily via the lap top computer she had with her.

Becky wasn't always able to respond to the letters she received, but Aunt Jenna, Cathleen, Misty and all the others told Maggie that Becky really loved getting letters and they were the next best medicine to playing in the chatroom.

Maggie had been so consumed by the "two mommas" incident she hadn't written Becky or gotten the chance to play with her special friend for a few days, and she missed her terribly. Maggie knew that if she could write kitten tales for no one else, she could always write them for Becky, and tonight she wasn't about to go to sleep until she had written one.

An hour or so later she finished her letter to Becky. She hadn't thought she was going to be able to write a single paragraph but it was for Becky and once the kitten tale got started it flowed freely. She took her nightly job of caring for the children that often drained and saddened the adult and turned it into a little girl's adventure in babysitting. The letter told how little Maggie accompanied her big sister Angela on a babysitting assignment and got her first taste of taking care of two kids barely older than she was. At the end of the night she was exhausted. By the time Angela drove them home, she was so glad to be held in her momma's arms and be the one getting cuddled and tucked in.

Maggie closed the file and logged off the computer feeling much better than when she had first sat at it early that day. She headed toward the bathroom to ready herself for bed. She smiled as she knew that should she wake up tomorrow she had at least one thing to look forward to. She was going to be sending her bestest playmate some love and medicine in a kitten tale.

Maggie got up from the rocker, checked the front door to be sure it was secure and headed toward bed. She stopped to check in on the boy and found him sleeping peacefully. Entering the bedroom she shared with the four year old girl, she checked on her littlest charge. The little girl was a wiggler and she had managed to almost completely uncover herself. Maggie tucked her in tightly, and then stared at the peacefully sleeping angel. Aside from the fact her hair with almost white blonde instead of strawberry blonde, Maggie considered her to be a near replica of Becky's little sister Cathleen, in both looks, heart and bravery.

Maggie walked over to her bed and knelt down before it. She closed her eyes and prayed her usual top 5 prayers. Number one on the hit parade was G_d allowing all the love everyone felt for Rebecca/Becky to heal her.

Number two was for another one of Maggie's special chatroom friends to get healthy too. She prayed her big sister Misty would walk proudly down the halls of Oklahoma University, being anything from cheerleader to class president, but would never ever need oxygen or a wheelchair again.

Number three went out to Aunt Jenna and Cathleen and Becky. She asked G_d to let Jenna wake up as a genetic woman with her daughters sleeping peacefully on each side of her.

Number four went out to all the souls she knew in the chatroom and it was her wish that G_d would take all the love they had given her and give it back to them in the form of their greatest dream or desire, whatever it may be. She just wanted them to all have peace and happiness.

Finally, she told G_d that if he just had to take a little girl to heaven then please take her instead of Becky. She was ready and willing to take Becky's place, and yet if G_d just HAD to take a little girl and it HAD to be Becky, then she begged G_d to let her go with her friend, so that Becky wouldn't have to ride there all alone. The little girl within Maggie didn't know how far away the big Play Place in the sky was, but she knew it was far and she didn't want her best friend being scared on the trip. She also wanted to go with her, because even if the Play Place had all the best toys and games and rides ever, nothing was ever quite as much fun unless you could share it with your best friend. The little girl had a perfectly logical reason for wanting to go with Becky. The adult Maggie was just so upset at losing her friend and so disillusioned with her own life that she just wanted to end her own pain and go to a place where the little girl could live.

Maggie closed her prayers by thanking G_d for her home, her job, her friends and family that she had in both worlds, and for giving her the strength to make another day.

She picked up her beloved sleeping companion Sir Lionheart off the dresser and curled up beneath the covers. She sighed heavily as felt tears welling in her eyes. More than anything else in the world, she wished she had a momma there to tuck her in, kiss her forehead and tell her sweet dreams.

Maggie drifted off to sleep as she always did, with her last wish unfulfilled.

A soft voice and a gentle touch slowly awakened the sleeping little girl. "Maggie … Maggie … you gots to wake up seepy kitten. It's me, Becky."

The eight year old, rubbed her big green eyes, and pushed an auburn curl from her face as she lifted her head from the pillow to find Becky, her bestest playmate and cousin smiling at her. Maggie was glad to see her. She was always glad to see Becky, but she was understandably curious as to why she was here now.

The last traces of sleep were leaving her as she spoke. "Becky, I is real glad you is here, cause I been missin you lots, but its night time. You is supposed to be in bed seepin. Aunt Jenna's gonna be real mad wiff you for going outshide all alone."

Maggie sat up in bed and Becky moved in next to her. The two friends hugged each other tightly before Becky spoke another word. Taking Maggie's hand in hers she tried to dispel her little friend's worries. "It's otay Maggie. Momma kinda knows I is outside the house now, and I is not all alone cause I gots a friend with me. She's a special friend. Her name is Genni and she's a real angel!"

Maggie's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. Immediately she looked from side to side in the moonlit room but saw no signs of Becky's angel. Turning to her friend she gave her a puzzled look. "Becky she must be all indivisible, cause I don't see her nowhere. You ain't just payin pretend wiff me is you?"

Becky shook her head and back and forth to say she wasn't and then another soft voice filled the room. This time it was an adult woman's. "Hi Maggie! I'm Genni and I promise you I am a real angel just like Becky says. I wanted Becky to talk to you first before I appeared. The last thing I want to do is scare you princess."

No sooner than Genni's words had reached Maggie, a beautiful young woman stepped out from the darkness and smiled at the two little girls. She had long brown hair and big brown eyes. She was casually dressed in jeans, peasant blouse and sandals.

Maggie eyed her attire suspiciously. "I thoughts angel's gots wings and wears all pretty white dresses and stuff."

Genni moved a step closer to her new friend and smiled. Suddenly a pair of huge white wings spread out behind her and seemed to nearly fill the tiny room. Genni turned slightly to one side and a wing clipped a shelf of stuffed animals causing them to tumble to the floor. Shaking her head she rolled her eyes and spoke. "See Maggie I got wings. There great for flying but they do kind of get in the way indoors, and as for my clothes … yeah I got my dress whites for all the fancy stuff, but the Boss lets us go casual most of the time."

Maggie nodded as if she understood, when in reality she didn't know what to believe and both Becky and Genni could sense the little girl's confusion. Becky laid her head on Maggie's shoulder and cuddled with her. "Don't be all scared of nuttin Maggie, Genni's real nice. I used to know her afor she was an angel and you did too."

Genni tucked her wings in and knelt in front of Maggie, placing her hands over those of the two children. The freckled face little girl gave the angels face a closer look and she did notice something familiar about her. The longer she looked the more that came back to her and suddenly she smiled brightly as she had put it all together. "I do knows you Genni! You is da Genni dat comed from Sealand like me and Becky's Aunt Prue and you was a real good writer. I member talking to you in the big room and giving you cuddles."

Suddenly the smile drained from Maggie's face as she spoke. "I member how sad everybody was when you went away too. Lot's of people sure do loves you and they misses you a whole bunch."

The angel smiled at Maggie and then lovingly ran her fingers through the child's auburn curls. "I know baby and I love everyone too, but the Boss really needed me to be an angel and as long as everyone remembers me then I won't ever be gone, okay?"

Maggie nodded. "Otay Genni", and then added, "Genni how comes you is here with Becky for?"

Becky hugged her friend tightly and answered for the angel. "Cause Genni says it's my turn to go to the Play Place now, and she's takin me round so I can sees everybody for I goes."

Maggie's eyes grew wide as she heard the words "Play Place". Her Aunt Jenna had told Becky and Maggie about a special place that little kids go when it's time for them to go to heaven. It's a magical spot full of everything children could ever want. It has all the best toys, games and rides. It has all your favorite foods and drinks, and you never get a bellyache from eating too much. You can go swimming, ride ponies, and do every fun thing there is. It's always summer, but every day's like Christmas. You never get sick, or tired or hurt and there are lots of "mommy" angels to watch over you and read to you and give you cuddles whenever you want them and for as long as you want.

Maggie smiled as she thought about the fairy tale land and then turned to face Genni. "Genni, is da Play Place really as all special as Aunt Jenna tolded us it was?"

The young woman's brown eyes sparkled as she answered the little girl. "It sure is Maggie. It's about the best place ever I think. Becky's going to love it there. I promise you she will."

Maggie was happy for her cousin and playmate but she was still a little worried about her leaving. She looked deep into Becky's green eyes as she spoke. "Becky, isn't you kinda scared about goin so far away?

Becky smiled bravely at her play partner in mischief. "Maggie, I was a little bit scared kinda at first but Genni splained a bunch of stuff to me and I ain't scared no more at all, honest!"

The little strawberry blonde jumped up from the bed and pulled Maggie with her. Her eyes flashed with excitement as she giggled. "Maggie, look what I can do now?"

Releasing her cousin's hand, she did a cartwheel across the room, a back flip and then landed in a perfect cheerleader's split before jumping back up to give her surprised cousin a big hug. The excited little girl was beaming. "Maggie see what I can do now? Oh, it's so much fun and I ain't tired or nothing. I can play and play for a whole long time and I don't gots to worry bout gettin so tired no more and havin to take naps in the daytime like some baby!"

Maggie hugged her cousin tightly and the two little girls began jumping up and down and giggling in pure joy. Genni smiled lovingly at the pair, enjoying the same happy feeling that Jenna, Shelly, Prue and the rest of the adults got whenever they watched the girls play in the big room.

Maggie just had to be happy for Becky, especially about her not getting so tired anymore. Lately, it seemed that every time her and Becky got to playing for a bit, Becky always got tired so quick and then Aunt Jenna would have to put her to bed for awhile.

Maggie smiled happily at her excited cousin. "And you ain't gots to take no more medicines, or be all sick, or get the whirlies, or ever go to the hospital and have them ol inner venuses stucks in you no more?"

Becky returned Maggie's smile proudly. "No, no, no and never, ever again!"

The happy little imp then ran to Genni and begged her. "Genni can I show Maggie what else I can do now? Please Genni, puhleeeze!"

The angel smiled and shook her head. She could never resist a child's smile or a real good, "puhleeeze". "Okay Becky, but just a little bit."

Becky hugged her tightly and then ran to the center of the room as Maggie watched her closely. Grinning at her cousin she spoke excitedly. "Maggie, watch THIS! It's the kewlest ever!"

The little girl took a deep breath, closed her eyes and as Maggie watched in amazement; her body took on a soft glow as if bathed in a white light. Becky smiled softly, almost as if she were cuddling in the glow. Genni just shook her head and then finally had to pull the reins in on her little show off. "Becky, that's enough for now. I told you just a little bit."

Becky opened her eyes and smiled as the light quickly faded away.Maggie immediately ran to her. The smile on her face and the excitement in her voice said she was extremely impressed. "Wow Becky, that IS the kewlest ever! It's kinda like you swallowed about a zillion lightning bugs or something."

Maggie's cousin wrinkled her nose at that thought and replaced it with one a little less yucky. "Ewww Maggie, I don't wants no bugs in my tummy even if they is good ones. Genni says it's kinda like having a night light insides you all the time. And it makes you feel all safe and warm and loved and stuff. I kinds likes dat better than bugs."

Maggie quickly concurred. "Me too, Becky."

The freckle-faced little girl then ran over to Genni and hugged her. Looking up into her big brown eyes she smiled as she asked her a question. "Genni is you one of them mommy angels dat works in da Play Place, and takes care of the kids and reads to them and stuff?"

Genni pulled the child in close and then pointed to a gold badge pinned to her peasant's blouse. "No Maggie, I'm a TA. That's short for Travel Angel, see?"

Maggie glanced at the badge and tried to sound out the words. Genni seeing she was having a little difficulty helped her out. "It says … Genni S, Travel Angel First Class, Children's Division."

Becky ran up to Genni and cuddled up beneath her other arm, and her green eyes sparkled at her cousin. "Maggie, Genni is a angel who comes and gets peoples when it's their time to comes to heaven, and she's real special cause she only comes and gets little kids like us. Right Genni?"

Genni nodded praising her latest assignment. "That's right Becky. I specifically asked to be placed in the Children's Division. I've always loved kids very, very much. Especially giggly little girls."

With that, the angel pulled the two in closer, and stole a little tickle, sending the girls into a laughing and giggling fit, and giving the angel her daily giggle fix.

When the giggles subsided, the woman held the children close and savored the feeling of two little lives in her arms. The three would have been content to cuddle away half the night if they could, but Genni knew that Becky had many more stops to make before the morning came. Gently nudging the girls, she quickly noticed a tear running down Maggie's face. Wiping it from her eye she spoke with compassion and love. "Maggie honey, are you all sad because Becky is going away?"

The little girl trembled as her eyes continued to fill with tears. "I kinda am." She then turned to face her cousin who greeted her gaze with the same love and compassion that Genni had. "Becky I is real happy that you is all better now, and can do all that neat stuff and is going to be in da Play Place, but I think I is gonna miss you too much. Becky you is my bestest playmate and I can't not never have no more fun without you. You always thinks of all the games for us to play and I don't know how to play princesses without you. Nobody knows how to make peanut butter and jelly samwiches special like you do! I don't think I is gonna be no good at being a kid if you ain't here no more."

Becky left her spot beside Genni and cuddled her little cousin tightly. Becky may have only been eight but she already showed signs of the strength, compassion, and maternal instinct of a young woman. She expertly hugged Maggie, stroking her hair, and comforting her like an experienced mother.

Genni placed a gentle hand on Becky's shoulder, but said nothing as she knew that the little girl could offer Maggie more comfort than anyone could at that moment. Becky had stepped into the afterlife only hours ago, but already she had picked up where she had left off in her earthly life. She was still helping others, sharing her strength, her cuddles and her love.

Once Maggie's tears subsided, Becky led her over to the bed and sat with her. Genni slipped down next to Maggie on the other side and laced her hands in the little girls. The three sat quietly, until Maggie took a heavy sigh and faced the angel again. As soon as the words came, the tears started flowing again. "Genni, please take me with you and Becky, puhleeeze! Genni, I gets awful lonely and scared here sometimes, and lots of nights I don't go nobody to read stories to me or tucks me in. I don't like it here cause I don't hardly never get to come out and play none, and now I don't evens got Becky to play wiff no more. I don't wanna stay here no more Genni, it hurts too much. I don't gots nothing I really gotta do here anyway. Please take me with you. I is littler than Becky. I don't hardly way nuttin. You can carry both of us real easy, puhleeeze."

Tears ran down the angel's eyes as she pulled the frightened child onto her lap and held her against her chest. She rocked her as both their hearts were breaking. Genni could see the little girl was suffering and she had seen this pain before. Maggie was living the pain and sad existence that many of her chatroom friends endured. Even though she had been a genetic girl in her worldly life, she had known many close friends who suffered the birth defect known as transsexuality. Having a soul imprisoned in a body not its own, forced to live a life not its own, and being nearly invisible to the rest of the world because all they can see is that body, had to be a horrible, pain filled existence, but when that soul is also a child and trapped in an adults body and world, it becomes terrifying as well. Maggie deserved to have a real life, one larger than stolen moments in a chatroom or sleep walking a night, but in this existence that is all she had. Genni wished she knew why souls were born this way, but that answer was only known to the Boss. She was tempted to snatch Maggie up and take her with Becky, so tempted, but she knew there would be "hell" to pay if she did and in her heart she knew it wasn't time yet. As difficult as it was, this was one little girl "puhleeeze" she was not going to be able to give into.

She closed her eyes, and asked the Boss for strength before she spoke to the child who clung to her tightly. "Maggie, I'm sorry baby, but I can't take you with us. It's not time yet. You're still very much needed here and you have lots of things yet to do."

The young woman took Maggie's left hand and stroked her fingers lovingly. "Maggie did you know you gave a gift in that left hand of yours?"

The small child sniffled and shook her head from side to side as Genni continued. "Well you do. That's your coloring and writing hand. Maggie I have read some of those stories you've colored and you can swing a pretty mean crayon for a little girl. Some of your stories have made a lot of your friends real happy, and making people happy is one of the best things any of us can. I'll tell you something else too. I betcha you got at least a few more stories in that ol' left hand of yours, little girl and if you went away with me and Becky you would never be able to write them or make your friends all happy. You don't want to miss a chance to make your friends all happy do ya?"

Maggie shook her head no again, and a slight smile began to turn at her lips as she spoke. "I guess not Genni. I do kinda like coloring and I really like making everybody feel all happy and stuff."

Whether the Boss had given Genni the words, or whether she had just found them in her own heart, they began to ease the pain of the sad child.

Maggie turned to Becky and hugged her tightly. "It's just I is gonna be miss you so much Becky. I just wishes you wasn't all gone, that's all."

Becky cuddled her cousin and tried to comfort her. "Maggie, I is gonna miss you some too! You is my bestest playmate and I love you a whole bunches, and I knows it's gonna be kinda hard to play lots without me, but you still gots Cathleen to play with and she is getting real big now and she almost ain't no baby no more, and she is awful smart too. And she is real brave! She ain't all scared of da dark, or swingin real high and she ain't even scared of brussel sprouts cause I seened her eat'em afore and she didn't even make no yucky faces or nuttin.

“And sides, Maggie, you made me a bestest friends promise dat if I ever had to go bye bye you'd always take care of Cathleen and Beagle Bailey for me, and come visits mommy so she wouldn't be all lonely without me. Member?"

The little girl shook her head and answered yes as she knew the most sacred of all promises was a bestest friend promise and she could never, ever break that.

Becky was steal weaving her magic as she continued. "And Maggie you can't leave yet, cause Auntie Shelly tolded mommy that you was her blessing, and I bet you aint done blessing her yet, cause she only founded you a little while ago."

Becky was speaking the language that only another child would understand, and it was obvious she was reaching Maggie. Genni sat back and let the little girl go, because she was definitely on a roll.

Becky took her playmate's hand in her hers, and gently placed it in the center of Maggie's chest. "Maggie … Genni says I ain't never really gonna be all gone to peoples who loves me, cause some part of me will be insides their heart and they will always be able to feels me there."

Maggie sighed and frowned. "Becky, I thinks da part of you dats in my heart must be your feet, cause my heart hurts so much it feels like somebody's kickin it from the inside."

Becky shook her head and smiled at her cousin. "I don't thinks I is kickin you or nuttin Maggie. Genni says dat it all kinda hurts at first until I gets all settled in your heart real good, but dat after awhile it don't hurts so much no more. Right Genni?"

The angel slipped her arm around both girls. "That's right Becky. And Maggie … once all the pain goes away, then all you will feel is Becky's love and I promise you it's gonna make you feel a whole lot better.

Maggie smiled and enjoyed being the peanut butter and jelly in a hug samwich. Becky snuggled in closer and then gave Maggie even more reason to smile. "Maggie I is not just gonna be in your heart but I is gonna be right up there real close too!"

Becky raised her hand and pointed toward the ceiling as Maggie gave her a puzzled look. "You is gonna be up in da attic too?"

The little strawberry blonde shook her head and giggled. "No goofy, I is talkin about bein up in the Play Place but Genni says its got big ol' windows up there and I can see what everbody is doin and kinda watch over them and stuff."

Maggie's eyes grew wide. "You mean you is gonna be like a for real guardian angel?"

Both girls look to Genni for confirmation and she gave it to them with a smile and a nod. Becky beamed proudly. "See Maggie I knows you don't seeps real good sometimes cause you tolded me bout havin bad ol' dreams, so as your official guardian angel I is gonna chase 'em away for you, and tween me and Sir Lionheart watchin out for ya, you is gonna sleep real good now on! I is gonna be awful busy up there playin in the Play Place and bein you and Cathleen's and everybody's guardian angel, but don't worry Maggie I is always gonna be there and you can talks to me anytime you want cause I will always be listenin, and dat's a guardian angels promise. It's just as special as bestest friends promise too! Right Genni?"

Once again the angel smiled and nodded. "Right Becky!"

Maggie's big green eyes looked up pleadingly at Genni. "Genni, when it's finally my time to get to go, and if I is really good and gets to come to the Play Place, can you be my travel angel too, please Genni, puhleeeze!"

The angel smiled lovingly at the little girl. "Yes Maggie, I'll be your personal travel angel. I'll come and pick you up and when we gets to gates of the Play Place, Becky will be waiting for you with a bowl of your favorite ice cream."

The two girls smiled as they looked at each and then shouted in unison. "Strawberry!"

Genni laughed heartily. "Okay, strawberry it is girls. Now when I get back up to heaven I'm just gonna tell the Boss you specifically requested me and the big guy kinda likes me a lot. I can usually get my way with him."

Suddenly a bolt of lightning shot across Maggie's window and a loud clap of thunder made the girls shudder. Genni looked toward the heavens and smiled sheepishly. "Well I do most of the time."

Sadly, Genni knew it was time for her and Becky to be off. She had already stayed longer at Maggie's then she should but Becky worried about her little cousin a lot and the angel gave her the extra time to be sure Maggie was going to be all right.

Genni gave Maggie a tight squeeze and then rose from the bed. The two little girls smiled at each other and then hugged tightly until Genni tapped Becky on the shoulder and she knew it was that time. Becky released Maggie, and took Genni's hand as the two stepped toward the center of the room. Maggie sat on the edge of her bed and sighed as she watched the pair. Becky pulled Genni down toward her and whispered in her ear. The angel smiled and nodded. The two walked back toward Maggie, as Becky gave her little cousin a wink. "We is gonna tuck you in tonight Maggie and be sure you gots Sir Lionheart, so you will sleeps real, real good."

Becky picked up Sir Lionheart and placed him in Maggie's arms as Genni tucked the covers in snuggly around the little girl.

Maggie looked up at Becky, still with a little sadness in her eyes. "Becky is I gonna member seeing you and Genni when I gets up tomorrow?"

Becky thought for a moment before answering. "Well … I dunno if you is gonna member everything, but you is gonna know I was here Maggie, and you always gonna feel me in your heart and know I is watching over you, kay?"

Maggie nodded and answered. "Kay!"

She then looked up at the pair above her. "I is all tucked in real good, but I still not tired."

Genni smiled knowingly. "I think I can fix that for you Maggie."

The beautiful young angel then leaned over and kissed Maggie softly on her forehead. Becky immediately began giggling. "Maggie you is gonna sleep real good now! Genni done gived you an angel's kiss. When an angel kisses little kids like us, it always makes us go right to sleep and we sleep real good too."

Genni's kiss was magic, and Becky's words were true. Maggie could feel the sleep calling to her. She yawned as she gently laid her head on the pillow. The pair stepped back toward the center of the room and this time it was Genni who knelt down to whisper in Becky's ear. The little girl nodded as the angel has earlier. She quickly ran to Maggie's side and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Hey Maggie, Genni wants to know if you knows where somethin called a licker store is cause we gots to get a bottle of scotch. That's a grownups drink."

Maggie opened one sleepy eye to answer. "Becky I donts know what a licker store is, but there's a Walgreen's bout three blocks from here where the peoples who work there don't never go to sleep cause they is always open. Maybe they gots scotch."

Becky looked over her shoulder at Genni and the angel gave her a thumbs up. Becky kissed her near sleepin angel and started to walk away. Maggie's eyes were closed but was still barely awake as she spoke. "Bye Becky, I loves you."

Becky smiled at her bestest playmate. "I loves you too Maggie, but member, it's really not bye. It's see ya later alligator."

Maggie smiled sleepily and managed to give out the proper response before drifting of to dreamland. "After while crocodile."

Genni and Becky quickly disappeared in a white light and went on to make the rest of their stops and visits.

The next morning, the adult Maggie awoke from sleep, disappointed as always that her long arms could still reach the alarm, but surprisingly feeling well rested for the first time in months. She also was mildly surprised to see Lion safely in her arms and the covers tucked in around her. Shrugging it off to her peaceful sleep that night she readied herself for another day on the streets.

She made it to the university before eight o'clock that morning. That was about as early as she could get away with stealing a little computer time. She couldn't send Becky and Aunt Jenna's letter until she was at the library later that day, but at least she could check her emails.

A few minutes later, the woman was sobbing and desperately trying to hold onto the computer stand in front of her. Becky had died in her sleep last night. Maggie's heart was breaking and all she could think about was that she hadn't gotta chance to say goodbye to someone she loved.

The little girl inside her remembered everything from the night before and her heart was still hurting from Becky getting all settled in there and tears were running down her cheeks but they weren't really for her or for Becky, they were for the adult at the computer.

Big Maggie was sad because Becky was gone and because she hadn't said good- bye, but little Maggie knew Becky would never be gone, and there were no good- bye's to people you really loved, just "see ya later alligator, after while crocodile."

I love you Becky. See ya soon

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Afterword by Holly Hart

Many in our community do not know that there are some of us that not only have Gender Dysphoria, but something some of us call unofficially, Age Dysphoria. I never got to know Becky online, as I have Maggie and Cathleen and many of the others mentioned in this story. However, I did get to know the adult Rebecca Anne Stewart through the story mentioned, ‘Hot Crossings’. At the time it was being posted, I was just learning about Gender Dysphoria and about myself, as was my wife. My wife was suffering from terminal cancer at the same time as Becky, and Hot Crossings was the one and only story she insisted I read to her as soon as a new episode came out.

Hot Crossings will never be finished, as Becky did not finish it. My wife never knew, as she and Becky both went to their final rest within a short time of each other, and the word of Becky’s passing was not known until my wife had also passed away.
The 38 chapters available are at http://www.storysite.org/a_rebeccaannestewart01.html
I recommend it as a wonderful read, despite its incomplete nature.

I had not yet met Maggie, though I had read some of her stories, and first met her online when I offered to edit some of her stories. Soon we became friends through emails, then phone calls, and 4 years ago I traveled more than halfway across the US to meet her in person. Since then we have met several times, there, here, and elsewhere, often with other members of the community.

As I am sure you have been able to tell from her continuing stories, Maggie is still living as both adult Maggie and little Maggie the Kitten. She is thankful for her many friends online and in real life, and I am sure she will continue to write more stories for us. Just remember that they are from the heart of a young girl still trapped in an adult body, even though she has now had the SRS that she despaired of when she wrote this story.

Despite her own occasional despair, Maggie has been an inspiration to me, and many others. I doubt she realizes just how many.

I did not want to ever cause more of a problem by trying to be a 3rd mommy to her, but I am delighted to be one of her many online aunts, as I am to many more in this subset of our community. Although one of her stories portrays me as Heather Rose’s mommy, as do a couple by shalimar, I am just her aunt, as well, though I do claim a few as my own kids.

With her permission, I will be posting a number of stories never posted on BCTS, and some, like this one, that have not been posted anywhere. I hope to post one a week for about 3 months.