by Lauran

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The past fortnight had been a fantastic eye opener, I had discovered how much I enjoyed pretending to be a woman, even to the point of taking a regular bed partner and being his girl. But now I was going home and I had to meet my mother who had said she would pick me up from the station, my dread of this meeting increased while the memories of the fun I had had diminished equally the closer I got to this meeting point.

I carried my bags along the platform, I could see her waiting beyond the barriers but she kept looking at the other travelers clearly not spotting me. I was nearly stood infront of her before I saw any recognition, then it was a mixture of her usual pleased smile and a questioning look. I put my bags down and we hugged as usual, she said the usual greetings but as we stood close after the hugs her hand went to my hair and she ran her fingers through the side, 'This is a surprise, quite a bold statement' then she saw the pierced ear lobe 'And those are pretty' I was starting to blush but knew I had to just take whatever was coming, I was there and with no way of going back in time to change things I was going to find out how she reacted to me, the only thing I could keep to myself was the history of why I had done these things. She continued 'I am taking it that you had an interesting time with your friends?' We picked up the bags and started to move towards the car park, but she stopped as we passed a coffee shop. I had said nothing until then 'Let's have a coffee before we drive home' I understood this as we need a chat as we never did this detour as she considered station coffee a rip off and tasteless.

'So Mark, you are very quiet, I can see you had some new experiences, care to tell me about them'. Even though I had spent hours thinking about this conversation, now it had started I was nearly panicking in my head, not sure what to say, lie, tell the whole truth or something in between. I stared at my steaming coffee and mumbled 'It was just some fun with the girls really, they wanted to see how I looked and I went along with it' her hand came over and touched mine 'The hair does look nice, takes a little getting used too but I like it, do you like it?' I looked up into her eyes 'Yes but I am not sure I should keep it, a bit shocking and girlie isn't it' 'Perhaps it is but it suits you, maybe we could get you some plainer studs but I do like the hair' after a minute I asked 'I was thinking of getting it dyed back to my natural colour and having a trim' she came back immediately with 'Why, you are young and if you don't do these things while you are less restricted you never will, once you have a job and have to conform to dress codes such fun with how you look will be missed. No if you like it then you keep it and don't mind what others think.' We sat and drank our coffee, she filled me in on home gossip, but besides very sketchy details I hardly gave any information about my time in Blackpool. But just as we were finishing she came out with 'Those hoops are very pretty, not at all what a boy would choose, and the hair has been cut well and coloured properly, those girls must have been having a great time making you look this good, I am guessing it was not a drunken dare.' I was blushing again as I agreed that they were having fun, but did let her know I had been a willing partner in the fun, I had allowed them to do these things to me. 'That is interesting, I would have thought you might have been under some pressure to let them carry out the styling in particular, but if you say not then you clearly must like the idea of looking like this as well as the reality'. Sometimes I do wish my mother was not a solicitor as she can put things into words in such a way as to make me squirm. This time she had voiced how I had got my feminine hairstyle willingly, she made it sound almost as though it was my chioce, which when considered coldly it was, I could have said no at any point or left the house, I did not have to end up looking like this. So I asked 'What do you think dad will say? I can get it changed easily' she was looking into my eyes when she answered 'We can stop somewhere on the way home if you must, but this is part of you, your personal expression of who you are. Your dad might say something, but just remind of those student photos of him in his hippy kaftans and long hair. Besides I like a prettier Mark, for some reason it suits you in a way that your past style has always made me think you were just following your groups style without thinking, this has shown some thought, and quite a lot of courage. Yes I approve. Come Mark lats get home.' And that was it she had concluded her discussion on the subject.

Once home I unpacked and carefully hid my Marie items, I replied to a text from Matt who asking how things had gone, I answered, OK. Mother even lent me a pair of small gold studs which proved tricky to get in as the holes had not healed completely. My next challenge was when father came home, I kept that image of him as a student in my mind as he walked in wearing his pin stripe suit. 'Good hoilday son?' 'Yes thank you' and that seemed to be it, he went through his coming home routine of kissing mother, undressing to his shirt and trousers, getting a scotch, then looking at the post. A short while later we were eating our family meal when out of the blue he asked 'Is that it then?' I was unsure what he meant or even if he was talking to me, 'Do you have any other fashions you are going to try out, or is this it?' he was looking directly at me, I just said 'Sorry?' he continued 'Well are you going to go for reds or greens, have a mohican, tattoo yourself, pierce your nose etc?' I was understanding now 'Oh no this was it, I don't think I shall be trying out anything too extreme' he smiled at me 'So you are happy with your feminine style? Good, it suits you though I was unsure when your mother told me on the phone, but now I see it in the flesh as it were, I can see how it does work well'

That had gone far better than I had ever hoped for, no serious objections from my parents, even positive acceptance it appeared if being told I suited a feminine style was positive. The next day I had to start work at the warehouse so covered my hair with a beannie hat and spent my day working harder than I have ever done in my life. I managed two days and then my world changed. We had our evening meal together and I don't know what I ate or drank, but I was relaxed enough when getting ready for bed to catch a glimpse of my nightie and decide to wear it that night. The big event happened in the early hours, I woke feeling really sick and just had time to make it to a toilet and throw up, as I knelt there in the post sick weakness my mother, as she had done since I was child, came in to make sure I was alright. She wrapped me in a dressing gown and gave me a glass of water, before making sure I was over the worst and taking me back to bed and making sure I was comfortable.

In the morning I woke feeling terrible, father had looked in on his way to work and made some remark about hoping I felt better soon, then mother came in to see if I was wanting any breakfast. I was alert enough to keep the duvet pulled up, but also had to acknowledge that she must have seen my nightie in the night. She rang work and told them I was sick, then brought me some toast. Soon I was feeling better and it was decided I had eaten something which had disagreed with me and now my body had got rid of it I would soon be up and about.

When she came in later with a drink she brooched the subject of my nightwear. 'I think you need to explain why you were wearing a nightie last night' the truth was I could not think of a good excuse 'I can't explain it really, I got it while I was on holiday and I like wearing it. That is about it.' She looked at me for a moment 'It is a very nice one, silk?' 'Yes' I confirmed 'Good chioce, have you any others?' 'No I only bought the one' she was clearly thinking about how to manage this news 'Would you like me to lend you a clean one, that one will need a wash now?' I was taken aback by this offer, so she said nothing more just got up and left, returning a few minutes later with a cream full length satin nightie and a matching wrap. 'You ought to have a shower now, get the smell of you and freshen yourself up' as she said this she lay the garments on my bed in full view, there was no mistaking the offer she was making, but I was very worried about this development in the opening out of my secrets.

Slowly I got up and showered and allowed my weakened body to enjoy the warm water washing over me, I washed my hair as well, then dried myself slowly as speed was not going to happen at that time. Then as I went back into my room and saw the satin clothes mother had left for me I just thought 'Where's the harm' and slipped them on and went to get the hair dryer so I could get my hair looking right. Because of the niose I did not hear mother come into the room until she was beside me, 'Here let me do that' and she took the brush and dryer from me and very carefully brushed out my hair curling it under at the bottom. When she was finished, she left me of only to return with some spray lacquer and told me to close my eyes. 'All done. You do suit your hair like that you know.' I could feel her hand through the satin as she rested it on my shoulder. 'You feeling any better? because you are looking much recovered' I told I was feeling a bit better and thanked her for doing my hair, then after a pause thanked her for not being mad at me for wearing a nightie. I was stood at the time and got a big hug 'If my child wishes to wear something as nice as silk or this satin, then I have no problem with it' she stepped back then asked 'Do you like the satin?' I was a little lost for words but managed 'Very soft isn't it' she smiled 'I would say sensual, men don't know what the are missing' I noticed but did not comment on the way she had used the word men there, as though I was not one of them, this was to much for my frail state to handle and went to lie on my bed and watch some daytime TV. Alone I tried to watch, but all I could think of was what had happened and seeing and feeling the cream outfit wrapped around my was not helping me get any rest.

Mid afternoon there was another probing by my mother. She came in with a sandwich and a drink for me to find me sitting up, so she invited me to join her downstairs, immediately I said would get dressed, her response was to pass me a pair of her slippers, and tell me there was no need. So we ended up sat at the kitchen table eating when the probing started 'So I am guessing there's more to this holiday than you have let on so far, anything you would like to tell me dear' She never called me dear, but then she had never styled my hair or given satin nighties before. 'I am thinking somewhere along the way your friends got you all dressed up as a girl, was there just you or did the others dress as well? And I am also thinking you liked the way you looked, not surprising as you do look very feminine dear, even without make up.' Maybe it was because I was still weak, maybe I could see she had worked out most of it for herself but I felt a tear in my eye, and the stress of keeping this from her cracked me. I told her everything, well nearly everything. The dressing so we had four boys and four girls, the having my clothes hidden so I had to live fulltime as a girl, the being taken for a girl when out, the deeper friendships I made with the girls, the fun I had discovered from having such a different chioce of clothes to wear. We left the kitchen for my bedroom where I showed her my small collection of clothes which she studied carefully making sounds which refllected her view of certian styles. Eventually I stopped and she summed up what I had said 'So you have lived as Marie for two weeks and from what I can tell you have found it very satisfying being taken for a woman, but you never mentioned the boys, where did they figure in the picture. If you were not one of the boys and was one of the girls, can I assume you paired off in some way' she was still probing, but I was getting myself together again after the crack in my defences had let her know how much I had liked being Marie. With me clamming up she decided to make up scenarios and see how I reacted. She touched a few items like a mini skirt and the high heels, and commented that these items were definitely not designed for comfort but for their effect on the opposite sex, and seeing as how I had more than one such item as well as a short silk nightie, she surmised that I been playing the part of a girlfriend to one of the lads, and seeing as there was a sexy nightie in my things, then it did not take much to think I had slept with a man. My head was down as she worked out the truth from the evidence, in the end all I could say was 'Sorry' 'What for' she asked, 'Your son has let you down, I am supposed to be a man, be like my father, get married, have kids, all that stuff' I was beginning to tear up again, so she sat beside me and hugged me. 'There is nothing to be sorry about, you have enjoyed yourself, seen another side to life, experienced things I never thought you would, but I am pleased that you have, there, there, dry your eyes, good job you had not got make up on, it would be a mess right now' that got a smile from me 'That's better. Now what you have to think through is, whether this is just a phase you will grow out of, or something that goes much deeper.' she paused so she could lift my chin and look me in the face 'As far as I am concerned, and I know your father will back me up, you have to be you, if you deny yourself who you truly are it will just frustrate you and cause other problems if you try and be someone you are not.' a pause for breath 'Right, that's enough I have some work to do and you have some thinking to do princess' she hugged me and kissed my cheek. 'I suggest you get some paper and make notes, then see if you have a clear answer' and with that she left. My clothes were all out and needed putting away which would be easy compared to the task she had given me, which was not helped by the final word she spoke, she had called me princess, a clear indicator of how she thought I should proceed.

The evening was thankfully easy to handle, father was working late and I was not up to eating a full meal so ate some toast in my room. I had done as mother had asked and made notes, and for and against lists, but had not come out with a clear chioce. I must have fell asleep on my bed as I woke with a start to find father in my room sat at the bottom of my bed looking concerned. 'You feeling better' waking up I said 'much better thanks' then he looked at my body or more precisely my mother's cream satin wrap that is was wearing. 'I hear you and your mother have been having a chat today' I thought of him in his kaftan 'Yes we have' 'Come to any conclusions yet?' he asked 'Not yet I'm sorry, all a bit complicated when you think about it' He looked at me and seemed to be taking care of his next words 'Well you have not changed out of the feminine things your mother gave you earlier, so I would take that as a strong indicator. You could have refused at the time, you could have changed knowing I was coming home, but you have not, therefor I think this is going far deeper than a student prank.' He gave me time to absorb what he had said 'It is for you to decide, but whatever you feel is right then I shall support you be it as Mark or Marie' this was all said in his serious vioce, then he got up to leave and put an affectionate hand on my arm and quite casually said 'Sleep well, you should be fine in the morning dear' he always called me son, this was getting as though they wanted me to be a girl, what with all the words of support and terms or endearment, it was as though I could dress and no one would bat an eyelid.

The next day I made it into work, but still not 100% it was tough with all the lifting and not having eaten much the day before. I got home completely washed out but ready for a nice meal and sleep. Mother took a call from her sister after the meal and I cleared away the pots and tidied the kitchen while father went to watch the TV. It took me a while to finish but as I did she put the phone down on clearly what had been a more serious call than a gossiping chat, she thanked me for doing the cleaning then went to sit with my father and shut the door behind her, clearly I was not to be included in this conversation so I went upstairs to rest and get ready for bed though I still had a couple of hours before I would sleep.

An hour later my parents knocked on my door and entered, I was wearing my mother's night clothes curled up on the bed reading a Cosmo magazine. Father started 'There you are, something has come up with you auntie Jen' I could tell from their tone and body language this was not going to be an easy chat. 'Thing is' mother put in 'Jen needs some time away and was hoping her kids could stop here for the summer' I was confused 'Why ask me, we have spare rooms and they can't be that horrid' 'Well not as we know, but then we have not seen them for years have we? Anyway Lucy is eight and she looks fine, though besides at the christening I have not seen her and Brendan is sixteen and looks ok.' an awkward pause before mother continued, 'What we thought was, they come and stop here, they will need looking after, Lucy especially, and we were thinking that this job of yours seems a little beyond you at the moment with you being sick. What if you let Brendan have the job and you stop home and mind Lucy' I nodded to say I was following their suggestions 'And what if because you no longer are going to work, you live as Marie while you are minding Lucy?' That last sentence stopped me in my tracks, 'But they must know I am Mark, your son' they had clearly thought about this, 'Lucy does not know you, and Brendan is old enough to understand such things' 'And what happens When Lucy tells her mother' 'We will explian everything to Jen beforehand to make sure she is fine with the arrangement. Any more questions?' I thought for a minute 'Why are you so keen to let me do this, most parents would want their son's to become men not women?' Father answered that 'We think you need to be helped making your mind up, and this will commit you to being Marie fulltime, and then all of us can see how well you handle being a girl, with there being a date set for the end of this trial period. It just seems a good oppurtunity if you want to use it' I was letting this offer sink in as they left, mother saying she was going to call auntie Jen and tell her I would not mind looking after them. Five minutes later I went downstairs to tell them I would do it as Marie, mother gave me a big hug and phoned her sister to explian the arrangements.

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To Be Continued...