Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 843.

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Wuthering Dormice
(aka Bike)
Part 843
by Angharad
  
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We talked for about an hour–him, wanting to know what he did wrong–me, wanting the man I fell in love with back. They say women change when they have children, maybe I have, although I haven’t actually had any literally–but I do have to think differently now. I seem to be the matriarch of this household, having to worry about the kids, Tom, Simon and Stella and Puddin’. I’m not sure who’s supposed to look after me–my husband, but he can’t look after himself properly, so all that cost of a private education seems to have been wasted on the siblings Cameron.

Anyway to cut a long story short, we were talking amicably before we went to sleep and we did promise to be a little more tolerant of each other. Had we resolved it earlier we might even have made love, but it was too late and I was too tired.

Children don’t respect Sunday mornings and they were in bed with us before seven–before it was light, gee whizz. How can Simon remain asleep with three children sitting on him calling, Daddy? Perhaps his public school education taught him something–how to ignore all forms of females. Being a poor, grammar school girl, I was wide awake and sought refuge downstairs. The aliens followed me, so at least Simon got a second chance for an extra hour’s shut-eye.

I fed them while they fed Kiki on some tinned dog meat and some stale bread. Then Meems helped me do a mix for the bread machine and set it off. After breakfast, for which amazingly, Stella appeared, I took the girls up to shower and dress, afterwards putting on the washing machine.

“Have you ever been to church, Mummy?” asked Trish.

“What brought that up, flossie?”

“I’m not flossie, I’m Trishy.”

“Oh, yes so you are.” We laughed and she playfully slapped me on the leg, “Trishy-washy, I suppose helping me do this?”

“You are funny, Mummy.”

I shrugged and sorted the next load for the machine, it was going to need three loads to do all the laundry, Simon having brought home a case load.

“So, have you been?” pestered Trish.

“Been where?”

“Church, silly Mummy.”

“I got married in one, didn’t I?”

“Oh yes, but I meant when God was there.”

“He has times when He’s available?”

“Yes, they said in school He’s always there, but is more accessible during services.”

“What does that mean?” I asked wondering if she understood all she was saying.

“You have more chance of talking to Him when there’s a priest about.”

“Why is that, then?” I was trying to stay neutral and let her think things out for herself although I wasn’t really comfortable with all the God bothering stuff they would be taught in school.

“They’re trained, aren’t they?” she continued.

“Don’t they come by bus then?” I asked and she looked confused.

“You’re laughing at me, Mummy.”

“I’m not sweetheart, I made a joke but you didn’t see it. You said trained, which can mean on a train.”

“And you said, buses--that’s a silly joke Mummy.”

“I didn’t say it was a funny one.” I smirked and she frowned.

She picked up some dirty linen and placed it in the basket ready to put in the machine when the first load was done. “Will you take us one Sunday?”

“Where? To church?”

“Yes, me an’ Livvie wanna go sometime.”

“Why?” I knew why, but then I’d had the advantage of having been to one.

“We’ve never been and would like to go.”

“Do they ask you in school?”

“Ask us what, Mummy?”

“If you’ve been to church?”

“Oh yes, but we usually ignore them, one of the priests said you must be a heathen.”

“Did he now?”

“I told him you were a scientist.”

“Why?”

“Because he was saying nasty things about you, Mummy.”

“In his view, I am a heathen because I don’t believe.”

“He said, when it can be proved that Darwin created the world in six days, he’d believe in science as much as he does in the Bible.”

“I think he’d have to prove his God did it first in that time–according to the evidence, it’s an ongoing process and has been so for eight billion years.”

“Is that a long time, Mummy?”

“Eight thousand million years, I’d say so.”

“Is that older than Gramps?”

“Oh gosh, yes, Gramps is only seventy.

“That’s really old, Mummy.”

“You’ll probably feel differently when you’re seventy.”

“Is Gramps going to die soon?”

“Why on earth would you think that?”

“In the Bible, it says we live until we’re seventy–I hope Gramps isn’t going to die soon.”

“Trish, the Bible is an old book, most people in those days didn’t live to be thirty five or forty, let alone seventy. Gramps is going to live for a long time to come.”

“I hope so,” she furrowed her brow and looked very sad, “I don’t think I like the Bible.”

“Don’t pay too much attention to it, much of it is in the interpretation of who is reading it.”

“What does that mean, Mummy?”

“It means that we each read things and understand them differently. People read all sorts of things into Shakespeare that I’m sure he didn’t mean.”

“Is that what they do with the Bible, Mummy?”

“Yes, sweetheart, and the Q’ran and any other religious book–sometimes they only see what they want to and can deliberately miss out bits they disagree with.”

“That’s naughty, Mummy.”

“Trish, you coming to play?” called Livvie.

“Can I, Mummy?”

“Yes but don’t either of you get dirty, we’re going Christmas shopping later.”

“Oh yeah–whoopee!” She ran off to meet up with her partner in crime.

“What ya doin’?” I heard Livvie ask her.

“Helpin’ Mummy sort the washin’–an’ did you know, Shakespeare wrote the Bible?”

“Wow, that’s kewl, Trish.”

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Comments

Trish

I am sitting here with a smile on my face with fond memories of my own daughter, who like Trish was extremely intelligent and perceptive as a child, but then out of the blue would do something to remind you how young she really was.

Good Chapter

Shakespeare wrote the Bible

That's about how I feel about the Bible! Go Thrish! Richard

Richard

Shakespeare and King James

erin's picture

As a prominent poet at the time, Shakespeare was likely involved in putting Psalms and the Song of Solomon into proper poetic form. It's known that other poets were and several of the Psalms contain Shakespeare's name in one form or another. :)

If Sheakespeare didn't do that, then someone else did it for him. :)

Perhaps it is as the dog said.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

So, Shakespeare wrote the

So, Shakespeare wrote the Bible. Some say one of the Bacon's, Francis, Roger, or maybe Kevin, wrote Shakespeare. Hmmmm, yep. Explains much, does it not? Fiction is as Fiction does.

CaroL

CaroL

Bacon couldn't possibly have written the Bible...

...because Bacon is inherently treif, and a properly-written Torah scroll is kosher by definition.

QED.

I personally think that Miriam wrote Shakespeare, which suggests that "he" was really a woman, the proof being that we have absolutely no pictures of Shakespeare with his breeches down, and the Elizabethan paparazzi would surely have managed it, if it were possible to do so without revealing his secret.

On the other hand, Miriam was famous for her well, which travelled around with her and created a broad river (note the telling phrase, "Broad" River!) in the Israelite camps in the wilderness, which word in Welsh, afon, pronounced for some inexplicable reason known only to the wily Welsh as a "v" in the Welsh language, which is really quite like Hebrew, when looked at through the right lens, as is the second part of the Bard's common epithet, the Bard of Avon. It's really simple, when you think about it. Dan Brown's writing a book about the whole thing, due out in the Spring of 2010.

Cheers,

Liobhan

-

Cheers,

Liobhan

Re: Bacon couldn't possibly have written the Bible...

Greetings

The best thing to do with Bacon is to fry it up for breakfast.

As to who wrote the plays of Shakespeare, unless we manage to achieve time travel, it is unlikely we will know for sure. But certainly the details of his marriage are known. It is my understanding it was authorised to take place at a church here in Worcester. A rush job when he married Anne Hathaway.

The River Avon is one of three rivers of that name in England.

The reason for the use of "f" in Welsh, is that is no "v" in that language. Welsh orthography uses 28 letters (including eight digraphs). A starters guide to the alphabet is to be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welsh_alphabet

Brian

That Priest Had Best Be Ready

because now he will face off against Lady Cameron. I wonder what he'd say if he knew about Lady Cathy Cameron?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Well, Someone Wrote It

Someone, as in people. Actually, many. And, like most printed books, someone edited it. Or, lots of people did. It's a fascinating story, really. Not the book itself, but how it got assembled and edited over the centuries. The book itself is a classic kludge. All kinds of bits of stuff stuck together. (I almost said nailed, but we should save that unintentional pun/faux pas for Easter.)

I strongly recommend a book on the subject that I'm trying to read now. Even though I've only slogged through about 2 chapters, I feel like I've learned an immense amount already. It's well written by an eminent scholar on the subject who appears not to have an axe to grind, or a dog in the hunt, or whatever cliche you prefer.

Karen Armstrong is the author. The title is, "The Bible -- A Biography," and as far as book sales go, it must have been a stinker because the publisher has remaindered it. The good news is, you can buy this $13 trade paperback now for a mere $3.76 from Amazon: The Bible: A Biography (Books That Changed the World). So, if you happen to be placing an order there for anything, and have any interest in the subject from an anthropological, literary or historic perspective, and need just another couple of bucks to qualify for the free shipping, keep this in mind.

NB: The Amazon description says it's 176 pages. I think that's a mistake. The one in front of me (that I bought from the Quaker bookstore, also on special but at twice that price) is 302 pages (including copious notes and indexing) and other than that seems to match the description. Grove Press, first paperback edition 2008, copyright 2007, same ISBN number, etc. And, the closeout listing doesn't include a picture of the cover, which you can see here. Oh! And maybe Erin could edit the link above to include the TopShelf referral, so the site gets credit for any purchases?

Link Edited

erin's picture

I'll get 19 to 27 cents per copy ordered. :) Thanks.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Every Little Helps! :)

(UK residents: No prizes for guessing where I shop...)

OK, so the phrase may have been hijacked by a UK supermarket, but the basic point is, every additional way Erin can conceive to raise money helps keep this show on the road (argh - another idiom!)
 
 
--Ben


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As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

From the mouths of babes...

“Have you ever been to church, Mummy?” asked Trish.
“I got married in one, didn’t I?”
“Oh yes, but I meant when God was there.”

Hmm...so God only hangs around for Mass then? :)

But she's young, you can forgive her for forgetting "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the presence of God..." (even granted Cathy's agnosticism, I doubt Marguerite would have omitted that line!), especially as Trish would have been wrapped up in the atmosphere of the ceremony, and seeing Mummy's reaction on arriving at the church...

Then there's the classic exchange highlighting youngsters' concept of time - anything more than a few years ago is practically ancient history to them.

Therefore, in their perception there's no conceivable time difference between when when Mummy was their age, when Gramps was their age, when Shakespeare was penning his sonnets, when Paul was scribbling his letters [1], when Moses did a spot of carving half way up a mountain, when Noah did a spot of weather forecasting [2], when humans first started exploring unfamiliar territory [3], when the last Neanderthal died, when an ape suddenly discovered it could balance on its hind legs only, when T. rex was causing havoc, when an aquatic creature realised it didn't need to stay in water to survive, when one protist took up residence in another - and stayed there rather than consuming its host or being consumed by its host [4], or when chemicals started catalysing the formation of other chemicals [5]. (I could go further back, but the list's already too long and I've probably bored you lot half to sleep!)

 
 
--Ben
[1] Given that the various new churches were writing to him with their problems, and he was writing back...could he be described as the religious equivalent of an agony uncle? :)
[2] The first recorded meteorologist!
[3] Or, if you prefer, Adam & Eve saw the apple was Good, being naked was Bad, and because in doing so they broke the terms of their contract, were promptly served with an eviction notice by their Landlord.
[4] i.e. the first Eukaryote.
[5] Enzymes!


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As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

The first recorded?

[2] The first recorded meteorologist!

According to my brother, he's the first stormchaser to get media mention. ;-)

KJT

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

The vicar

of the church at which I worship went somewhat red-faced when I suggested that the whole lot be bulldozed and started again. What he'd think of my beliefs about God and the Bible I dread to think.

Methinks that the conflict twixt science and religion should run for a significant nunber of episodes of EAFOAB, with a large number of casualties along the way.

Nicely introduced to have Trish bring up the dogma. Goes to show that many accept the party line without being able to back it up with facts. And as for Shakespeare writing the Bible? I don't think that Shakespeare could have been that selective; I believe that more was left out than was included by the group of drunken chauvinist men who met at Nicea.

Susie

I think I have most of them

Angharad's picture

the excluded books. But wasn't it also there that the council decided to elevate Jesus to the godhead. I think the same guys are on the planning department of our local council!

Angharad ;)

Angharad

Also the bunch...

erin's picture

...that decided that women had souls ...by a single vote!

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

church schools and little kids

Church schools should be punished severely for the way they polute the minds of impressionable kids. Tell them outright lies to get them to think "the right" way. Grrrrrr....... pet peave of mine.

Sorry to say

... a lot of priests are inherently bullies. They have too much of themselves invested in their beliefs, kinda like Bill Gates who believes Microsoft is gospel to the world. When that happens, they will lash out because to deny their religion would be a direct affront to them, the person.

I do not envy that stupid priest right now. *snicker*.

Kim

It was good

to see Cathy trying to remain neutral when Trish was asking all the questions, Young children can be so very easily pointed in one direction, But for me it is quite important young minds are left as clear as possible in order to make there own way in life free from someone else's prejudices, Yes i know it is not easy, But i do think it is the very least we owe our children.

Kirri

I Liked That !

"Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings", as it says somwewhere in that Black Book. Just loved Trishy's interpretation "Shakesapeare wrote the bible!". Not one of his better plays, was it?

Trouble with books like that is that a hell of a lot of people wrote them, and translated them, twisting the words to make them fit their needs, and completely missing the point when they didnt understand the language and version they were trying to translate from, properly. Remember the old one about the message sent back from the front in WW1, "Send reinforcements, we're going to advance!" and what was received was "Send three-and-fourpence, we're going to a dance!"?

From the original Sumerian folk stories though ancient Hebrew with ancient Egyptian and Aramaic and Greek and Latin to Late Middle English, who now can guess what the poor folks who started it off meant?

Everything is basically vey simple, in science and in life, and kids probably understand things a lot better than us grown ups anyway. That is why our world is in such a mess. We make everything complicated and difficult so that some of us can bamboozle the rest and empty their pockets when they aren't looking. Scientific truths are simple and easy to understand. The best scientists can explain them simply to anybody. Those who dont are trying to hang on to their privileges, like the polits hanging onto their duck houses and expenses, the bwankers to their bonuses...

The start of this chapter and the last one illustrated how difficult it is to share one's life with another person, even when you love each other. Most of us love ourselves too much to love anyone else enough. Small children teach us how to love another person.

Angaharad in this story explores all the problems humans have with each other. I am sure it need not be as hard as we make it, though it took me nearly seventy years to find out finally that love is what you give, not what you get.

Angharad, Bless You for continuing this tale that we can look into like a mirror, to see ourselves as others see us.

Briar

Briar

Mistranslations

There are numerous mistranslations, transcription errors, additions to the original text and other miscellaneous oddities scattered throughout the 66+ separate documents that form the Bible (and, no doubt also in the documents that were considered for inclusion but eventually rejected). Young women turning into virgins, people hailing from non-existent places (Magdala, Arimathea), career changes (master builder to carpenter) - plus the fact that everything was scribbled down decades after the events they describe, so the religious equivalent of poetic license has probably crept in as well between the oral tradition and the written documents. Numerous sites document these, but one I've found after a quick Google (called Jesus Police) actually goes to the trouble of quoting numerous scholars for each assumption they debunk.
 
 
--Ben


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As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Parents

Can not help but teach religious points of view. In some ways it is part of the job. Being human, people make mistakes.

Being a parent is doing the best you can, and hoping you get it right.

Reminds me of a joke.

A preacher was hearing his 5 year old and his friends bury a pet hamster through the window. However, the final words of the funeral caught his attention...

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the hole he goes in.

Evolution and the Catholic Church

I know I'm several years late in posting comments on this, but I feel that in the interests of fairness I have to correct you here. The Catholic church is perfectly happy with evolution, it's only the fundamentalist evangelicals who have a problem with it. I went to catholic schools in the 60's and 70's, and we were taught evolution in science classes. Augustine of Hippo, in the sixth century, taught that Genesis wasn't to be taken literally, and the catholic church still accepts that teaching.
I am an agnostic these days, but I still believe in fairness.

I was going to comment on the story, but the readers comments

Are more interesting, including our author's
I'll start by saying I'm a lazy Congregationalist. All evidence shows the Bible was put together in 400 AD by a bunch of guys who saw things alike. I don't disagree with D Brown's supposition . Jesus was a healthy, minor noble, who had a Jewish mother. Do you think Mama would allow her son not to marry ? Mary wouldn't care if He was gay, Jesus would get married and at a young age.
Birth control being what it was in those days, it makes sense Jesus would be a proud Father, doesn't it ?
Doesn't it also make as much sense that aliens(gods) dove into the gene pool, as evolution due to more protein giving us larger more powerful brains ?
This is more up Angharad's alley, not mine, I build roadway bridges and seawalls.
The crucifixion was anecdotal, Not including Paul's reporting, which differs from the Bible