Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 908.

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Wuthering Dormice
(aka Bike)
Part 908
by Angharad

Copyright © 2010 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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“Hampshire police have been criticised for carrying out a training exercise in a street in Portsmouth without telling the residents that it was going to take place. Their spokesperson, responded by saying that they wanted to see how ordinary people reacted when they thought something was happening in their area.

“Resident, Arthur Scoggings, said he thought someone had been murdered by the amount of blood two of the ‘victims’ were covered in, and his wife Edna, had been quite distressed by it all.

“Hampshire police have since apologised and said they would be using the outcomes to help plan future siege events, which this was.

“In Southampton, a runaway hippopotamus caused confusion when it escaped from its enclosure..."

I stood looking at the television for several minutes–so far so good. I’d managed to get home without a pursuit by paparazzi, and there were no crowds waiting at the gate–maybe they bought our lie? We’d have to see.

I felt sorry for Chief Inspector Pike, he was the one who’d have to deal with the Chief Constable and the inquiry he’d hold. I hoped it didn’t all leak out afterwards–I called Henry who knew the CC personally, they played golf occasionally, I think.

Henry was pleased everyone was safe–and he’d go along with the training exercise cover. More importantly, he’d talk with his friend and see if he could be prevailed upon for the security of seven children. He agreed that it smacked of abuse of privilege, but where my children are concerned–I’ll do whatever is necessary to protect them.

Julie came down and thanked me for saving her life again. I hugged her and said I hadn’t done anything except accept the love she’d given me, and reciprocated that love. We both had tears in our eyes as we hugged–which quickly became a group hug as the girls and then the boys joined in–all glad that she was home safely.

She then hugged and kissed each one and they all declared they were family from now on–the boys were their brothers and Julie was their big sister. When I asked the boys about Julie’s little anomaly, they shrugged and said she had a plumbing problem, the same as Trish’s. Then Danny embarrassed himself, by declaring he still fancied her like mad. Julie gave him another hug and kissed him again.

I had to point out, if they were now brother and sister–they couldn’t fancy each other, as it had all sorts of negative connotations about it.

“Why? I fancy you too, Mummy, but I’m never gonna do anythin’ about it, am I?”

“Oedipus shmoedipus, what’s it matter so long as he loves his mother.” I said this and none of them laughed–I suppose five and ten is a bit young for Greek myths. I noticed Stella smirking in the background, she was carrying Puddin’ who was gurgling at the assembled throng before her.

“Can we take her out in the pram, Auntie Stella?” asked Trish.

“Oh yes, let’s?” echoed Livvie and Mima.

“Can one of the boys or Julie go with you then, because it’s getting dark.”

“I’ll go,” volunteered Julie, “I could do with stretching my legs.”

“I’ll get the dinner ready, unless we have pizzas,” I said and was nearly trampled in the rush.

Stella and I actually had boiled eggs with toast–neither of us is fond of pizza. I laid the table and Stella noticed my knuckles–“I thought you’d grazed your knuckles,” she said.

“Trish kissed them better–they healed rather quickly after that.”

“Do you realise if you two stay together, you’re likely to live forever,” Stella mocked.

“No thank you–just my normal life span will do for me, I don’t know what Trish feels, but at five, I shouldn’t think her opinions are fully formed yet.”

“Nah, better wait until she’s seven for that,” Stella joked.

“Yeah, ask her on her way to enrolling at Oxford.”

“I thought she wanted to go to Sussex.”

“Why?”

“Because her mother went there.”

“She’s cleverer than I was. She could get to Oxford if she really wanted to.”

“Or Cambridge.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” I agreed though Oxford was a lot closer to visit to see her, than the frozen reaches of East Anglia.

The girls returned with Puddin’ safely intact in her pram, and judging by the roses in their cheeks it was getting colder. Stella took her baby and went to feed her, while I answered the door to the pizza delivery. They seemed to get more expensive each time–but after a day like today, I didn’t fancy cooking much.

Tom was out at a university dinner–the academic council or some such group–universities are full of these self important groups, and because they gossip about any and everyone, it’s important not to miss out. Those who do, often end up having coups being staged against them. Tom was quite safe, but even so, he thought he’d better go. It saved me making him something anyway and it made sure he got his dinner suit cleaned.

He did suggest taking me as his guest, but I wasn’t ready for that degree of plotting yet–I’m quite naive, if you haven’t noticed. Besides, half of those present have something wrong with them, so they’d be sucking me dry of energy. I was still tired from healing on Julie after the attack.

We decided not to tell the other kids about the abduction, it would upset Trish very much, and perhaps frighten the others. I had to read to the girls, because I hadn’t seen much of them while Julie consulted Stephanie in Tom’s study.

Then I had to read to the boys–well actually, they each read to me. I felt sure that they were improving through practice. They were still a bit slow, but they were improving. I had them reading Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol.

To make sure they understood what they were reading, I asked them questions and they certainly did understand it. They were quite worried at one point about Tiny Tim, and concerned for Scrooge during the dreams of various Christmases. For boys, they seemed quite tender hearted and I hoped that wasn’t unduly influenced by living in a house of women.

I made a mental note to get Simon to play football or something with them at the weekend–or maybe get Leon to do it. I wanted them to be balanced individuals, so they needed a masculine influence–Tom was perhaps a bit too old and he was a very gentle man. Having said that, on the few occasions he’d had to tell them off–they’d been reduced to tears and I don’t think that was purely his Scots accent.

Stephanie stayed after I sent Julie to bed–promising to come up and tuck her in later–Julie I mean, not Stephanie.

“She’s a tough cookie,” said Stephanie over a cup of Tom’s coffee.

“I know–if I’d had someone try to cut my throat, I’d be in a psyche ward.”

“She said she knew you would save her.”

“How could she know that?” I blushed.

“He did cut her throat, didn’t he?”

“If he had, she’d be dead.”

“Not if you’re about, apparently.”

“With the greatest respect, Steph, that doesn’t make sense. She’d bleed to death in minutes.”

“She said she saw the blood splash out of her throat and she felt the cut, too–said it hurt. Then she saw you bathed in this wonderful golden light which shimmered all round you, and she felt the throat heal itself–it went icy cold and she could breathe again.”

“Interesting what shock can do,” I said hoping Stephanie would be misdirected.

“Obviously in your case it makes you tell fibs.”

“I beg your pardon?” I challenged.

“Cathy, you rub your nose when you lie–it’s a common thing. I know all about the mystery healer–and some of the things you’ve done. Whilst dealing with severed carotids and jugulars is perhaps your greatest triumph so far, you’ve done some amazing things with tumours and ruptured spleens and things.

“You know, it’s a good job you weren’t present in the Middle East two thousand years ago, we’d be practicing Cathyism.” She laughed at her own joke.

“God forbid,” I gasped.

“For an unbeliever, that’s a strange exhortation.”

“Yes, Dr Cauldwell, no, Dr Cauldwell, three bags full, Dr Cauldwell. You can switch off your trick cyclist sign now–I stopped paying when Julie went to bed.”

“Ah–truly fascinating patients I see for nothing–then I write papers on them.”

“Oh yeah, if you’re thinking about doing one on me–think again, missus.”

“But it would be wonderful.”

“In what way?”

“The lengths you go to in denying things.”

“Meeeee?” I complained.

“I’ll bet you tell people you’re a lousy cyclist, too.”

“I am.”

“See what I mean?”

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Comments

Trick Cyclists

Careful Cathy.

Steph is still a psychiatrist and writing papers is what they do.

Just enjoy the kids and let that be your therapy.

Lovely story,
XOXO

Bev.

Challenge

Write a paper on Cathy's OCDD (Obsessive Compulsive Denial Disorder) without mentioning blue lights (the usual colour), white lights (also fairly common), pink lights (Sir George's wife), golden lights (Julie - spot the new colour), or any other form of mystical healing...

Hmm...so we've had white, blue, yellow (gold), pink - so when will we get green light healing? :)
Ding! Cathy suddenly discovers she can restore wilted / decaying plants to life - as well as diagnosing the cause of their misfortune (probably over/underwatering in most cases)

(Well, I've got to help maintain the tradition of keeping the comments just as interesting as the story above somehow...)
(The fact I've just glugged a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon has nothing whatsoever to do with the lunacy of anything above)
(Or any perception of illogicality in the signature statement below)
 
 
--Ben


There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

It may not be only stereotyping, but...

I have often read or heard it said, that one of the fundamental differences between male and female psyches is in how they respond to praise. Tell a woman a meal she just cooked is great and she'll either tell you where she got the ingredients and for how much and that the meat was on offer, or will ask why that surprised them and did they think she normally didnt get it right when she cooked.

A man would react by agreeing and telling what other things he could cook with cordon bleu style and skill.

Lady Cameron has become very feminine in her responses.

The story goes on still finding new subplots and interchanges to amuse and entertain us. Amazing.

I wonder when Trish will magic away Julie's falsely plumbed bits, and Cathy's power gets out in spite of her and does the same for Trish then?

Briar

Briar

Typical...

Puddintane's picture

Leave us dangling until Bonzi deigns to inform us what happens to the bloody runaway hippopotamus.

With bated breath,

Puddin'

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

Bike pt 908.

Looks as if Steph will fit right into this wacky household from the way she banters with Cathy.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I hope

that the Chief Constable doesn't think there is anything too fishy about Chief inspector Pike's story (sorry about the pun!) Would'nt do for him to go carping off to the wrong people now would it , After all we don't' need Cathy to get into deep water, She could flounder a little trying to explain Julie's miraculous recovery!

Great interplay between Cathy and Stephanie ( and i promise no more puns!!)Your wordplay seems to be getting even better than the high level it was already at, Must be all that fish (sorry!!) you feed your co-author!

Kirri

Actually, Angharad…

…eats a lot of fish as well; in fact she had it for her dinner tonight—much to Bonzi’s delight, natch.

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Now that sounds like a good idea

Casa Cathy should have a resident psychiatrist, it might be cheaper for her to live in.

With that bunch of miss-fits (and mr-fits), in addition to the local police and those after Cathy's blood, she should keep well occupied.

Susie

Oh Man

The Shrink would be in the psych ward with in a week

hahahahaha

Oedipus

“Oedipus shmoedipus, what’s it matter so long as he loves his mother.” I said this and none of them laughed—I suppose five and ten is a bit young for Greek myths.

Hmmm and even too young for Tom Lehrer? I suppose that even applies to Cathy.

Actually I'm amazed the kids got back home safely after taking Puddin' for a walk. Paranoid? Moi?

Robi

Oedipus Rex

"There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex. You may have heard about his odd complex. His name appears in Freud's Index 'cause he LOVED his mother." ... Tom Lehrer

G/R

Dickensian Influences

So, Cathy has the boys reading A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

It’s somewhat appropriate, as I note that Dickens was born in Portsmouth, Hampshire in 1812—something of an overture that was!

Then too, we've already had the appearance in this saga of Amy Dorrit. I wonder if she’ll raise her head again?

Almost 200 years since his birth, there's still interest in things Dickensian. In the news the other day was an item about a dog collar owned by the author being sold at auction for $11,590/£7,340.

Pickwickian Serial


Bike Archive

I'm Keeping Up with You, Ang

Or perhaps I could complain that you're keeping me up. It's very late and I can't think of anything more intelligent to say. Sorry!

Yours from the Great White North,

Jenny Grier (Mrs.)

x

Yours from the Great White North,

Jenny Grier (Mrs.)

Altogether, just a wonderful

Altogether, just a wonderful and sweet, dear story and Angharad should receive high praise from us all for her many, many, many, many parts to it. I am truly amazed, yet feel blessed, as I am sure all of us do, that she has maintained such a cast of characters and their goings on for such a long time, and has never allowed the story to drop in excellence. Thank you, Hugs, Jan

What I mean is...

quite regularly you get me laughing, while having had me thinking a bit earlier.

Thank you!
Annette

Some reviews I found in the paper about EAFOaB

"Best story in print in last 10 years " says NY times

Orange County Register said "If your not Reading the Daily Dormouse your missing the best in print"

"Griping, Heartwarming with villains you love to hate." Says the LA Times

"Better than the Tripe I write, I shall renounce twilight and give all my money to the save the Dormice Fund." S. Myers(for any fans of hers I am sorry but I really do not feel I will hear from any of them)

"After Reading the Daily Dormouse have decided to move my Billions to High Street Bank. Save the Dormouse!!" R.K.

It is just amazing what they print now days. And I am so happy to have been reading this lovely tale though I did have to buy another case of Tissue.

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

A solid core

Of supporters who know Cathy and her little secrets seem to be forming, even in the police.

When she dies there will be books written about her. I don't think she will like them much.

Or is it, OCDDD

A shrink is just a shrink......as time goes by.
It's happened, I'm as nutty as a Christmas fruit cake, and why not 908 chapters in 3 weeks

Cefin