Defender's Dream - Part 2

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Defender's Dream
Dream On
by Andrea Lena DiMaggio


Everytime I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay


Note - This story is a continuation of the Defender Series, first appearing in Lascia Ch'io Pianga - The Defender. It takes place nearly two years after Lascia Ch'io Pianga - The Key

 
Previously:

"You should have been the first one to hear the report...but Terry took your place while you were working, right?" Barbara asked.

"That's not the point," Donna snapped.

"Isn't it? Donna...what did they tell Terry?"

"No..." Donna said as she turned away, almost as if she could hide from the truth.

"I'm sorry, Detective Manahan...there was nothing we could do. Isn't that what they said?" Barbara asked.

"No...I should have been there." Donna choked back another sob.

"She stroked out on the table and we couldn't save her..." Barbara said. The emergency "C" section only prolonged their son's life by six minutes.

"No…stop..." Donna sobbed.

"You should have been there to hold your son's lifeless body. You should have been the first one to weep over your wife." Barbara said.

"No... Oh God, no."

"You don't deserve to be happy...isn't that what you told me last week?" Barbara persisted, but her tone was soft.

"Barbara, God...stop." Donna pled.

"Dani might as well find someone else? Isn't that what you said?" Barbara asked. "You don't deserve to be happy...after all...you let your wife die, didn't you? Isn't that what you told me?" Barbara hated this, but it was absolutely necessary for Donna to face her own misplaced guilt and shame head on.

"Donna," Barbara said softly. "There wasn't anything you could have done, was there?" Barbara asked one last time.

Donna turned and buried her face in the wing of the chair and wept. Her shoulders convulsed as she began to release all of the guilt stored up inside her over the last three years.

Barbara sat quietly and blew out a breath, relieved.


Later That Evening:

Donna had just changed into her pajamas and a worn but comfortable maroon terry robe and had settled on the couch with a cup of Sleepytime. Magnum was doing his best imitation of a cha-cha with his claws on her knee, purring loud enough to distract her from her book. A knock came at the door, further dragging her away from Faye Kellerman's latest. She stood up, causing the cat to cling to her pajamas for an instant before jumping onto the arm of the couch. She walked to the door and opened it.

"Hey…Got anything to eat?" Terry Manahan stood in her doorway, causing her to unconsciously close her robe with her hand.

"Terry, what are you doing here?" Donna said as he stepped past her, heading to the kitchen.

"I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by." He said with a chuckle. Manahan lived on the other side of town, making his claim completely dubious.

"Checking up on me, Bro?" Donna said as she walked into the kitchen. He looked at her with a sad face and said,

"Why, Donna, I'm hurt...you've cut me to the quick. Would I lie to you?"

"Yes," She said as she pulled a Styrofoam container out of the fridge.

"Beef Szechuan from Hunan Palace,” she said placing the container on the table. "You're welcome to it; I hardly touched it." To say she hardly touched it would be a gross understatement. The food was practically pristine, as if prepared for a Gourmet Magazine photo shoot.

"You've got to start eating, kiddo. This is going to catch up with you." He said as he plunged a fork into the food.

"Best indication of good food is 'can you eat it cold?' This is good, but you got a plate for the microwave?" Donna handed him a plate and pointed to the fridge.

"Six-pack of Harp...Help yourself," she said as she walked back into the living room. She sat back down on the couch and folded her arms, hugging herself.

"By the way, you look like hell." Terry remarked as he sat down in the recliner across from the couch a couple of minutes later.

"Gee, Terry, I feel so much better now that you've dropped by," She replied sarcastically as she shook her head.

"What are you here for? Do you want a report?" She looked away, and Terry laughed softly.

"In triplicate on my desk by tomorrow morning, Carter!" He said, doing his best imitation of their old precinct captain.

"Look Terry, don't fuck with me...it's been a long day." She snapped as she picked up the cat and started petting him. He nuzzled her cheek and hopped onto her lap once again.

"Sorry...Look...you and I know you need to talk. I just want to know how you're doing. Okay?" His kidding was quickly replaced with a sympathetic tone.

"It wasn't your fault, Don...Donna." He corrected himself quickly. He had no trouble referring to his former brother-in-law with her correct name except whenever they talked about the night Jean died.

"Terry...it's okay...I know. Dr. A and I had a breakthrough today." She said. Immediately tears began to flow. He went to stand but she put her hand out.

"Really, it's okay...this is the good kind of crying," she laughed softly even as she continued to cry. Terry always felt odd and helpless when his former partner cried; it's hard to see someone you considered invulnerable cry like a girl, even if she is a girl.

"That's good. You look like you got beat up." He didn't laugh, but smiled softly and continued.

"Don't get me wrong. It's the good kind of beat up," he teased. "Sorta like the difference between Ali and Frazier after their last fight, huh? Both of 'em in the hospital, but Ali looked like he won." It had been a major victory of sorts for her and he was doing his best, if awkwardly, to acknowledge that.

"Listen kiddo...you're doing just fine. Nobody I know could have gone through everything you've been through the last four years and come out as good as you have." He got up and grabbed the remote off the couch.

"You sit there and do your thing...I'm watching Sports Center, okay?" He clicked on the TV and sat down.

"Oh...this is even better...'Giada at Home,'" He said with a laugh. "Cooking for you and Giada for me...oh wait...I forgot ...you like girls too."

"Not funny, Terry." Donna said as she sat up and leaned toward him.

"Just what is it you came here for?" Donna said impatiently. He looked at her and half-smiled.

"Just checking up on my favorite all-time transsexual former partner and current platonic interest." He laughed, but she didn't.

"You can be such a fucking jackass at times," She said. Magnum sensed the tension and began to nuzzle her once again.

"Look, I'm sorry. You're right, but you didn't exactly come with a set of instructions, now did you?" He glared at her. He still struggled with his feelings of loss over the change his best friend had undergone even after several years. They were still close, but the dynamics of the relationship had changed, and it made him feel very uncomfortable.

"Speaking of interests… how is it between you and Dani these days?" Terry didn't mean to, or perhaps he did; he was pressing all the right buttons, and Donna was getting angry.

"We stepped back, if it's any of your business." She said as she turned her head. Her hand absentmindedly scratched Magnum's chin.

"Fuck, Donna...you don't ride in a patrol car with me for five years and take risks and save my life without it becoming 'my’ business!" He turned off the TV and faced her.

“Listen, sister…I may not get all of the politically correct crap right all the time, but you can’t say I don’t care about what happens to you. You’re my best friend, and I know you love the girl…Oh fuck, just forget I said anything.” He saw that she had buried her head in a pillow and was sobbing.

“I know it’s been a rough fucking day, but don’t shut me out. Don’t shut her out either. You two deserve each other.”

He walked into the kitchen and threw the empty container in the trash. He grabbed another Harp and walked back into the living room, sitting on the couch next to Donna. He put his hand on her back and patted it gently, like a father consoling a daughter after her date stood her up.

“We’re all gonna get through this, kiddo. I don’t know how the fuck we will, but I fucking guarantee it!”


A few weeks later:

"Carter, can I see you in my office?" Donna looked up from the file she was reading to see Liz Amundsen standing in her doorway.

"Sure, Captain, just give me a few moments to finish this report?" She smiled. The captain didn't

"Now, Donna, please!" Her tone wasn't stern but still insistent. Donna got up from her desk and walked into Liz's office. She pointed to the chair next to Donna.

"What's up? You look like you just saw a ghost." Donna looked at her... She had never seen her boss look so shaken up.

"Not a ghost, but worse. Take a look at this file." She handed the file over and Donna opened it, finding three photographs clipped to the inside. She glanced at the pictures and quickly moved to the report. After a few second she looked up and said,

"Tell me this didn't happen." She shook her head at the file and looked back up to see the chief doing the same.

"Who the fuck could do this to a kid?" She was really asking a question for which she hoped there was no answer. She was sadly disappointed.

"Their parents...and....damn it. All in the fucking family." The chief shook her head again and blew out a breath.

"Since the Davidson case went to hell in a handcart the commissioner has been on a warpath. The mayor is down his throat, so it's kick the family dog, and guess who the dog is." Liz pointed to the file.

"For some reason, the state's attorney is involved in this even though it should be a local affair, and not this locality, but because Philly is high profile, we've been drafted. And you, my dear, are the number one draftee." The captain walked over to Donna and patted her on the back.

"I'm sorry you're getting stuck with this. Kim comes back Tuesday from maternity leave...how about that kid...ten pounds on the nose..." She smiled and continued.

"SVU needs help on this, and since you're low girl on the totem pole, you're on loan to them,” She paused and looked away, as if she had something she didn’t want to say. But she did.

“And you’ve got some help….” At the word help her voice trailed off.

“Please tell me it’s Vic Carbone…pleeeeeese,” Donna mock whined, anticipating her captain’s answer.

“No…I wish. Detective Bureau loaned us Spinetti.”

“Jeez, Liz, not Spinetti. He makes the GEICO caveman look sophisticated.” Donna shook her head.

“Sorry. I told his boss that you’d be lead, and they insisted there wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Not a problem? He’s been written up God knows how much for his remarks. I’ve had to tell him to back off more times than I can remember. Why is he still working here?” Donna shook her head.

“Well, the fact that his father is the new assistant commissioner might have something to do with it. Just play it safe and talk about the case. He brings up anything personal, put it in a report.” Donna shook her head as if to say, “Yeah…that’ll really be effective.”

“Okay, but I don’t want to hear any grief when he steps on someone’s toes. This thing is too sensitive for any stupidity.” She shook her head once again.

“Well, the SVU team has the lead. Your job will be to re-interview the kids.” At that the color drained from Donna’s face.

“You have three children who were victims. Their credibility has already been questioned and they keep getting put through the wringer. You think things can’t get any worse and then they want Spinetti in the interview room with me…are they fucking crazy?” Donna’s face turned from pale to red in a flash.

“Not my call, Carter. Just do your job, keep your nose clean, and write good reports and everybody will be happy. They’re not going to get anywhere with this case and we both know it.” Liz Amundsen was pragmatic and was almost always right about her gut feelings regarding cases. This time she was wrong, and it was going to get dangerous.


 

I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win


 
That evening Donna had once again resigned herself to a night with the cat and Faye Kellerman. She had just sat down with a cup of decaf when a knock came at the door.

“Damn it, Terry, I just got my pajamas on.” She said to herself as she opened the door. Dani Liu stood in the door way with a half-frown on her face.

“Aren’t you going to ask me in?” She asked as she stood stock-still in the doorway. Her face revealed no emotion, which bothered Donna.

“Oh, gosh, come on in.” Donna went to hug her, but she shied away and walked into the kitchen. Grabbing the Merlot, she poured herself a glass and sat down on the couch.

“You haven’t returned my calls.” Dani said as she took a sip of wine. “Why the fuck are you avoiding me.”

“I’m not avoiding you.” Donna said it almost as if she was trying to convince herself as well as her girlfriend and erstwhile fiance’.

“Donna. I’m not angry. I understand. But I’m hurt.” She shook her head and bit her lip. Unlike her stoic father, Dani took after her mother, both in temperament and form. The mixture of Eurasian eyes and a gallic nose and mouth made for a very attractive woman; something that was not lost on Donna.

“You keep pushing me away, like Jean’s ghost is somehow fragile and jealous.” She shook her head and tears began to fall.

“You’re the one who’s fragile. Damn it, Donna! You won’t shatter if you move on. You’ve already figured out that you weren’t responsible for her death…what’s left?” She looked at Donna and shrugged her shoulders.

“What could possibly…” Dani looked and Donna had picked up the cat. She was holding him close to her chest, almost as if to protect him.

“You’re worried about me. Son of a bitch, I knew it.” Dani got up off the couch and walked over to her. Donna turned her face away, but even in profile, Dani could tell she was struggling not to cry.

“You can’t just save my life only to push me away. I won’t let you push me away.” Donna went to turn away further but Dani’s hands grabbed her by the shoulders. Magnum jumped to the floor and began to rub against Dani’s ankles.

“No hiding, no running, no avoiding. The past is past as far as I’m concerned, and I’ll be damned if I’ll play second fiddle to a ghost.” She pulled Donna into herself and kissed her. She began kissing her face and the taste of Donna’s tears was like cold water to her parched heart.

“I’ve loved you ever since we stood here the first night we met….you shocked me.” Dani laughed through her tears, recalling the static electricity that literally sparked their romance. She continued to kiss her. Her lips rubbed softly against Donna’s eyelids. The soft touch against her eyelashes sent a shudder through Donna and she moaned softly.

“No more secrets…no more retreat.” She kissed the bridge of Donna’s nose and moved down to kiss her lips. Softly at first, their lips brushed against each other tentatively, carefully. Donna pushed back ever so gently against Dani as if to echo in agreement what she had just said.

The release that had begun in therapy only weeks before came to fruition in her lover’s arms. She began to weep again, softly at first, but increasing in intensity, almost like a crescendo of emotion. She shook as the tempo increased, and the climax left Donna limp and helpless in Dani's arms.

Magnum circled the two women twice before settling at Dani's feet once again. Cats can often sense their human's pain and distress. Magnum looked up at Dani who was wiping her face with her cardigan sleeve. She looked down at the cat and smiled.

"It's okay, buddy. It was touch and go for a while, but I think we're going to be just fine." She smiled once again and walked back over to the couch with her arm around her lover. Sitting down, she motioned to Donna who sat down at the end of the couch. She laid her head in Dani's lap and began to cry softly.

"Soyez en paix cher coeur, Cri mon amour, je suis ici et je vous aime. (Be at peace dear heart. Cry my love; I am here and I love you.)" Dani stroked her hair.

"Je t'aime."


Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Next: You Were On My Mind


Dream On
Words and Music by
Steve Tyler
As performed by Kelly Sweet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXcaZOE09h8

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Comments

AGAIN?

ALISON

Warmth,empathy and romance.How do you do it ,'Drea?I think that this one will be a best seller.You never cease to amaze me,my sister.

ALISON

Phew!

Concentrated, high potency pure emotion. I am terrified of this. How do you live with all this inside you, Andrea? Do you know what you are doing to us? It's going to take me all day to recover my control...

Briar

Briar

She's Not Kidding

Wow! An M1911 caliber 45. That green eyed girl is definitely not kidding, is she? "Anyone for a nice serving of scrambled heart?"

Nancy

Nancy_Cole__Red_Background_.png


~ ~ ~

"You may be what you resolve to be."

T.J. Jackson

You Turn Hard Edges Into Soft Ones

joannebarbarella's picture

I don't know how you do it 'Drea, but at least you didn't turn me into a soggy mess with this one. Your company name is "Relationships'R'Us" isn't it?

Joanne

Dream On

littlerocksilver's picture

Just simply beautiful. That's all.

Portia

Portia

Bailey Summers This was

Bailey Summers

This was amazing, steel edged cop stuff, romance, pain and redemption in the arms of a person that loves them. Impossible not to like this.

Bailey Summers

Defender's Dream - Part 2

Why do I get the idea that she was chosen specifcally for this mission? There are too many indications of others pulling strings.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Your stories are always

Your stories are always great and this story is perfect example of your talent.

Thank You

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

Thank you for another excellent chapter in a very enjoyable story so far. I look forward to reading this as further parts unfold.



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Do do that voodoo that you do so well...

Ole Ulfson's picture

Let's see:

A police procedural.

A horrendous unsolved crime.

Abused children.

Assigned to work with a stupid, bigoted cop.

Nepotism on the force.

And:
“No more secrets…no more retreat.” She kissed the bridge of Donna’s nose and moved down to kiss her lips. Softly at first, their lips brushed against each other tentatively, carefully. Donna pushed back ever so gently against Dani as if to echo in agreement what she had just said.

All in a days work for Andrea.

How can you NOT love this?

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!