(aka Bike) Part 991 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad
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I was dishing up the soup–I know, Julie should be doing it, but she makes such a mess and I have yet to chop that herb Sage, into a million bits.
The doorbell rang–actually somebody rang the doorbell, it doesn’t usually ring by itself, but as it’s sort of implicit that someone rang it or at least pushed the bell push, it seems hardly worth noting it except for accuracy–um, shall I run that past you one more time? I thought not.
“I wonder who that is?” asked Julie.
“Duh–go and see, or are you practising your remote viewing?”
“What’s remote viewing?” asked Stella passing out some spoons.
“It’s using a psychic technique to project the mind to a specific place–haven’t you seen, Men who stare at goats?
“They give films such stupid names these days,” she opined.
“It’s someone to see you, Mummy?”
“Bloody typical, just as we’re eating.”I hissed to Stella. “Are they good looking?” I called to Julie, imagining they were probably political canvassers.
“Yes, very.” Her reply sounded like I should go and look for myself, perhaps George Clooney had got himself lost while filming, or even Johnny Depp–I went all goose bumps.
Abandoning my soup, I set off down the hall and stopped suddenly. “Oh, Dr Sage–I have a bone to pick with you.”
“Oh, it’s arrived. I asked them to wait until I’d spoken to you.”
“What for?”
“Cathy, I’d like a chance to talk to you about this, I know you’re busy and all that...”
“Yes, far too busy.”
“Please let me talk to you first.”
“You’re wasting your time, Gareth.”
“Can you decide that after we’ve spoken.”
“We were about to eat, would you like to have some soup?”
“I um, don’t want to put you to any trouble...”
“Feeding you is no trouble, explaining why I won’t do what you want might be.”
I led him through to the kitchen and gave him a bowl of soup and sliced off some bread, Stella suddenly seemed to glow with happiness went to get him a plate and a knife to butter his bread, walked into a cupboard door she didn’t see–perhaps she was looking at something or somebody else?
Gareth jumped up to help her and I felt like saying, ‘Don’t encourage her, but then if he dated her a couple of times, it would cheer her up and serve him right for coming around here to annoy me.
The conversation over lunch was light and Stella flirted outrageously with Gareth; even Julie was embarrassed. After we ate I made tea and Gareth and I withdrew to the dining room to talk business.
We sat at the table and sipped our tea. “Before you shout me down, please listen to why you were nominated.”
I sat and glowered at him.
“Believe it or not, you weren’t the original choice.”
“Oh that makes me feel really wanted,” I pouted at him.
“Sorry an’ all that; David Attenborough was first choice.”
“So why didn’t he agree to do it?”
“This is a long term project–he’s getting on a bit.”
“He’s only eighty four, he could live another ten years or more.”
“Yeah, he could also keel over tomorrow, which is what he said, and told us to ask you.”
“Why me?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes, I do.”
“He said you had a better set of um–you know,” he pointed at my chest.
“You’re joking?”
“Would I joke about such a thing?”
“Yes, you Welsh wotsit, you would.”
“Okay, so I’m joking.”
I laughed and wanted to slap him at the same time. “Now tell me who nominated me, so I can kill them, slowly.”
“He did.”
“His holiness, the Attenborough, now I know you are joking.”
“I’m not, okay he couldn’t remember your name, except that it was Cathy something. Then he mentioned the dormouse film as being one of the most charming he’d ever seen and the presenter as being one of the sexiest and most beautiful he’d seen.”
“He said that?”
“No, but I thought it would get your attention.”
“You are asking for a hard slap, Dr Sage.”
“He suggested that we needed someone with media experience, you’ve been on telly, done your own film with suitable acclaim, and have a title–which believe it or not still carries weight in the world.”
“Why, if I saw some committee headed by Lord Knows-who, unless he had some credibility in the field, it wouldn’t impress me.”
“Ah–but you do have a track record. You’re published on the dormouse, you’ve done media stuff and you even taught ecology, you should know something.”
“Not necessarily, remember the old adage–those who can do, those who can’t teach, and those who can’t even teach, write books about it–or in my case make films.”
“Cathy, that is total bollocks and you know it. Okay, if you’d written books or a book you could have cribbed everyone else’s material and rehashed it. You didn’t, you went out, found dormouse sites and filmed them. Not only that but you raised public awareness of the cuddly little buggers, so much so that anyone who admitted to having so much as looked at one the wrong way is likely to be lynched.”
“A slight exaggeration, if I might say so.”
“It isn’t–your film was really well received, did you know the BBC are thinking of re-running it?”
“No, I wonder if I get a repeat royalty?”
“I doubt it, they tie that up in the first contract.”
“Damn, something for nothing would be nice.”
“I suppose it would, you should have offered them an update–instead they’ll do it as Springwatch or something similar.”
“When have I got the time to do updates? I suppose I’d have more time if I threw you and your silly offer out on your big fat bums.”
“I don’t think you will when I tell you why I endorsed the view of the Attenborough.”
“Ah, so it’s your fault? Prepare to die.”
“Cathy, put down that banana.”
“Well I couldn’t find a pointed stick.”
He laughed, “I didn’t know you were into Monty Python.”
“Yeah, and being married to Simon–well, he’s a Python nut.”
“Pity,” he mused then blushed.
“What is?”
“Um–nothing,” he blushed again.
I tried to remember what I said, being married to Simon who’s a Python nut. I was pretty sure it had little to do with Monty Python, so it had to be my marriage to Simon. Now it was my turn to blush.
“I didn’t know you fancied boys?”
“I don’t–what are you talking about?”
“Me–would the UN be interested in being fronted by a tranny?”
“I thought we’d discussed this already. I know you’re only trying to paint yourself as negatively as possible so I find someone else to do this.”
“No, I’m trying to see all the angles, including what could happen with the media.”
“They could have roasted you any time they wanted, so why now?”
“Because this would be the biggest thing I’d done yet.”
“I doubt it. To the tabloids, marrying a peer and adopting children, let alone making a film and presenting it, are all fair game. That they’ve largely left you alone must demonstrate an element of restraint on their part.”
“Do me a favour–the only reason is Henry Cameron, and the clout he carries–now there would be a distinguished chairman for you.”
“Like David Attenborough said, you’ve got the better tits.”
Comments
Another Fine Chapter
Another fine chapter to asuage my dormouse fix. You know Cathy's going to do it. So, just let Bonzi work it out. Then you can get back to doing the kid-stuff.
JessicaLK
JessicaLK
Chortle
LOL, sometimes the dialogue is really priceless:
“Ah, so it’s your fault? Prepare to die.â€
“Cathy, put down that banana.â€
Oh well, I suppose that if in ‘Bike’ a cabbage (Savoy) constitutes a dangerous weapon, there's no telling what damage Cathy might be capable of with a banana.
Ah well, at least there was no reference to chicken bottoms today—so I'll discard the trend conspiracy.
Practically Sniggering
Bike Archive
Bike Resources
But, PS, didn't you notice…
…that Cathy was chopping Sage into a million bits to add to the soup.
I suppose this could be
Particulated Sage
Gabi.
Gabi.
Gareth Doesn't Seem To Care
Gareth doesn't seem to really care about the fact that she has already got her hands full with six kids. I hope Cathy doesn't let all of the supposed flattery from Attenborough sway her. She has a valid point about being fodder for the tabloids for being a Transwoman. She knows very well that some countries are not as openminded and the religious zealots would cause trouble in some of the less progressive countries. I can just imagine someone who was cured by the Blue light selling their story to a tabloid. The zealots would portray her as the Devil Incarnate just for those two reason's alone. She has been lucky so far in deflecting people from make her healing abilities public. I hope she gets a chance to really let him have it and not cave in easily. Of course her mother did say that she was going to make an impact on the world with her work.
If I remember correctly ...
... April Ashley also married a peer but it certainly didn't do her any good at the time. Though I don't think she adopted any children. If this were real life then I think Cathy has a good point. There would certainly be some self-righteous people (and unscrupulous tabloid journalists) who could well make an issue of Cathy's transgendered status if she got a high profile job and cause her and her family a lot of grief.
It'll be interesting to see how Angharad pursues this story-line. Moreover, knowing that she writes this 'on the fly', I bet Angharad herself is also wondering where her characters are going to lead her. By the nose I expect :)
Robi
Figured that invoking Cathy's hero,
"the Attenborough" would convince her. Now, if he came to visit....
Anyone think Cathy might do it? Great opportunity but then opportunities of many kinds come to Cathy all the time.
Wish Stella and Gareth would actually date. Now, if Gareth added a few dates with Stella to the offer... but that is being pretty cruel to one of the heroines of the story even if she's a little down now.
I had trouble trying to figure out which of the statements Gareth made were true and which were not.
No way
It's all bollocks. They are giving two shits about her family and her personal needs, certainly Gareth isn't.
He does not know shit about her personal life and responsibilities, only some silly ass UN project and you know how much reach their projects have for the most part - nil or none.
Waste of time.
Kim
If Cathy thought about it,
If Cathy thought about it, she could just turn all the children on Gareth and let them have their 'evil ways' on him. That would be justified in the eyes of the law. Jan :)
Bike pt 991
If Cathy does agre to do it, we could see a lot more of Spike and the college. If Cathy gets Julie tohelp her to keep house, Cathy could do more at the college and head that committee.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
dare we suggest
get Julie and Stella to keep house and do more child care?
Staff Up
I seem to remember, some time in the distant past, either Henry or Simon floating the idea of real hired help to mind the kiddiewinks. Really, between the Cameron family fortune, Simon's astute investing skills, which in any Wall St./City firm would involve multi-million dollar annual bonuses, Cathy's various holdings, and her earning power on her own, they could more than afford a full live-in household staff, consisting of a chauffeur/bodyguard, a cook/maid, and a nanny/assistant, all three of whom should take care of other duties as required as well. Julie can pitch in as a family member, but she's really not staff. And Stella, well, she's really just additional overhead.
Cathy deserves the chance to pursue her career, save the little furry mammals and maybe the world, ride her bike, etc.
___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.
Domestic Help
My wife seems to be changing her mind now, but she always seemed to have the attitude that if she doesn't (read: can't) do her own house work, that she is somehow a failure. Or, perhaps she equates outsourcing the house work with outsourcing the raising of the children.
I always pointed out that if we can hire someone else to do the cleaning, that we will have more time to spend with the children. Also, if things are less hectic, it will create a better environment for the kids,
Cathy really needs to add up the hours she spends doing things that could just as well be farmed out and compare it to the hours she would spend on this committee.
Also, it wouldn't hurt to get the family's opinions. We already know that her dear father in law would love it from a business standpoint because having their own environmental consultant on a UN committee would really raise their respectability in the environmental field.
I think that, even if it die cost her some family time, it would be a net positive for the family. The family that pulls together tends to stay closer.
A number of years ago, some research was done to find out what factors most help a family stay close. The results were surprising. Families that take camping vacations tend to keep close after the kids move out. The reason is that they end up sharing tasks and working together.
Well, Stanley. That's...
another fine mess, all laid out and clean for Cathy.
Stella was humorous, if a tad sad. Glad Julie can recognize over the top behavior.
Now, I do wonder how this will all work out.
As to the "Remote Viewing". That's actually quite interesting. There are a number of protocols, and the results are quite amazing. That said, it doesn't sound quite like what was described up above (Unless they have a different definition on your side of the pond). I'm used to the term "Clairvoyance" for seeing something that's not nearby without following any given protocol (Or so I see it in much fiction). Either way, I loved the reference.
Thanks,
Annette
Let's not forget ...
E1K (episode 1000) is getting close. If Bonzi were really wicked, it'd feature a return from our Russian friends, as well as other ne'er do wells popping up all at the same time. I can see somewhat of a windup to this, but I frequently read too much into things.
Then again, I could also expect Cathy could just have a whole episode of riding to herself that day. :)
Thanks for the latest Bike.
It looks like
Cathy is looking for reasons not to go with the job offer, Maybe she should have a look, See what it entails, Work out if it is feasible with all of her family commitments,And then decide....After all how would she feel if it is given to someone else and she realise's just what she has missed.
Kirri
curious , am I reading the same story as the rest.
I'm beginning to wonder ... 1st of all, she's told Simon -
a - the KIDS come 1st --- & I believe thats when they only had 3
b - the KIDS come 1st
c - the kids come 1st
then only then did simon,herself & dormice come into play.and something bout a bicycle.
with that said, you really think she's going to do anything where she isnt Mom 1st - meaning AT HOME MOM for her kids, she's willing to give out chores & farm out other work, but if those kids are at home, that where she's gonna be.
I seriously doubt anyone is gonna shake her off that track no matter how inside she might wanna take on the project.
I could be wrong, but I doubt our great writer & his silly cat (remember I'm a mouse also (giggle)) would make her change her principles.
thought of something that would work.
Put Stella on this post. She a looker,titled,& most interestingly, could then provide her with a man she could have & love.
Kids come first,
But there are room for seconds, and thirds.
One of the things that is both bad and good with this series is you rarely see a return to previous situations.
I'd still like to see how the police station fared, for example, after assaulting her.
DO IT, DO IT !
Love the dialogue, this is great stuff, written while watching soap operas. Can you believe it !
Another great chapter Ang. Get Cathy more motivated, she's too much of a house mother.
Cefin