To See Through a Glass Darkly 1

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To See Through a Glass Darkly
by Anam Chara

Chapter 1

As soon as he wakes up, Sasha begins to see and hear things that may not be quite what they seem.

*****************************

The morning seemed quite ordinary at first. Or so I thought. After the alarm clock began beeping, I rolled over and hit the snooze button to get a few minutes more sleep. I could barely hear the rumble of a passing thunderstorm in the distance. When the alarm clock sounded again, I sat up and turned it off. But for just a moment, I thought the clock’s display had green LEDs showing the time. Looking again, they were the usual red. Maybe I was not quite awake yet. And it had seemed for a second that I could feel the weight of someone else in my bed, but no. There was only myself. Must get ready for school.

Next I needed my daily shower. At first the bathroom looked more pink-and-white than its usual white-and-pink. Mom must have changed the air freshener. It smelled especially nice today. I stripped off my pajamas, got in the shower, and closed the door. As the water began to flow and I lathered up, I started to feel more tingly than usual. For just a moment, I thought that I had no body hair, not that I have very much anyway, but I appeared clean-shaven and smooth until I finished rinsing and grabbed a towel. My sparsely grown chest hair, such that I had, was still there.

For a moment I had thought that I heard my girlfriend Tina’s voice on the other side of the shower door. Why would she be here this early? Sliding it open just enough to peek outside, I saw my sister Sonia instead. She’s a junior, a year older and an inch taller than I am, with full waist-length blond hair and crystal blue-gray eyes. Her high cheeckbones give her a very Russian look.

“Are you finished, Li’l Brother?” Sonia asked me.

“Yes, Sis,” I answered. “But for a moment there you were sounding like Tina.”

“Ooh!” I could hear the smile in my sister’s voice. “Sounds like you’ve really got it bad for her!”

I felt myself blushing.

“Sasha, I’m happy you’ve found someone. Tina’s so very sweet and you two make such a cute couple! I’m proud of my Li’l Brother. You are so discerning about women.”

“Discerning?” That’s how she describes me dating Tina?

“I mean you chose a good one!”

I felt myself blushing again.

Now my sister sees me as a real person, or at least she has since Tina and I began dating. She introduced us, after all, and has been so very supportive of our relationship. But somehow, I seem to miss the constant fighting that Sonia and I used do with each other. It was a lot of fun, really.

Back in my bedroom, I opened the closet door and did a brief double take, thinking that I had seen a couple of my sister’s dresses and a few pairs of high-heeled shoes. Yet at second glance, there were none. I took a clean red polo shirt from the closet and a pair of blue jeans to get dressed. For a moment I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on my socks and shoes. There was a full-length mirror on the back of the closet door, and as I went to shut it, I could have sworn that I saw a brunette dressed in a red polo shirt and denim miniskirt looking back at me. But it was just myself.

*****************************

Sonia and I met downstairs for breakfast. Mom had prepared for me my favorite, simple breakfast of wheat bulgur and fruit, buttered whole wheat toast, skim milk, pink grapefruit juice, and tea. We would sweeten our tea in the traditional Russian way, with jam or fruit preserves instead of sugar or honey. As I was reaching for the strawberry jam, I noticed that my fingernails were somewhat long and well-trimmed, oval, clear and shiny with white tips, like my sister’s. Then I blinked again to see my normal, jaggedly trimmed nails.

“Sonia, is there a name for that style you just had your nails done in?” I inquired of my sister.

“It’s a French manicure,” she answered.

“Remember, we both got matching French manicures, too,” Tina said to me.

I turned my head to see that Tina was not there.

For certain, I’d been hallucinating since I had awakened that morning. I felt a cold sweat break out on my forehead.

“Sasha, you look flushed this morning,” my mother observed. “Did you not sleep well?”

“He’s too sweet on Tina to get any sleep, Mom,” Sonia gently teased, smiling. “Bet he spent the whole night thinking about her!” She giggled.

“Sonia, now don’t tease your brother!” Mom cautioned her.

“Sorry, Mom,” she replied, “but I only meant to say that Sasha’s new girlfriend is a winner. He’s learned from you and me what makes for an ideal woman!”

Mom’s mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in disbelief at Sonia’s remark. So I figured that my rejoinder would have received the desired maternal sanction.

“Sis,” I said, “you certainly display an ideal ego!”

I had really miscalculated there.

“Son, do you mean that your sister and I do not model womanhood well?”

“No,” I rejoined. “I just meant that Sonia excels in loading her rhetoric for maximum effect, as she just did! But yes, I can’t help but seek a girlfriend with charm to match yours and wit to meet my sister’s.”

“Nice save, Li’l Bro!” Sonia conceded, sipping her tea.

“Agreed!” Mom seconded her, smiling.

“Maybe Sasha should spend a few days as a girl to see how much he’s learned from us? I know that I’ve got a dress or two that he’d look cute in!”

“Why? Did you already put them in my closet?” I asked quite curiously. I had wondered if my sister could see my hallucinations, too? This was disturbing.

“Sasha, you dress up beautifully as a girl!” Tina said to me suddenly.

I looked around for my girlfriend. She still was not there.

“Sasha!” Mom cried. “You’re shaking!”

I placed my hands flat on the table. For just a second, I thought that I saw a bracelet on my right wrist and a small watch on my left as well as rings on my left hand. Looking again, I had my big sports watch on my left wrist. No rings. No bracelet.

“The bathroom smelled especially nice today. Did you change the air freshener?” I said, trying to change the subject.

“No, son,” she answered. “It’s the same scent as yesterday.”

“Maybe he’s smelling Tina in his dreams?” Sonia retorted, giggling.

“Sonia! I told you to quit teasing him!” Mom yelled at my sister, before giggling herself.

Silently I ate my breakfast. Tasting my food and feeling its texture was helping me somewhat to get my mind off these sudden, repeated hallucinations.

We heard a knock on the door and Mom went to answer it. “Sasha, it’s for you!” she called out to me.

As I got up from the breakfast table, Mom escorted Tina into the kitchen to offer her some tea. She was wearing the same red style of polo shirt as I with a denim miniskirt, hose, and a pair of smart black pumps with three-inch heels, ankle-straps and bows, much like the girl I thought I had seen in my mirror. Her raven black hair was up in an elegant French braid. She also had a new French manicure like my sister’s. We gently embraced and exchanged quick, affectionate kisses.

“I didn’t expect to see you quite yet,” I said, looking into her warm, brown eyes. For a moment I felt like myself again and forgot my morning of mirages. “But I’m glad you’re here now.”

“I thought that we could all wait for the bus together,” Tina explained.

“That works for me,” I answered.

“It will be fun for us all, I would think,” Sonia added.

Mom brought a glass of hot tea over as I sat Tina down at the table next to my sister, who explained how the Russian custom was to pour boiling water and tea leaves right into the glass and to sweeten it with fruit jam.

My girlfriend was enjoying the newly learned custom as I worried over what had been happening in my head. Those were indeed hallucinations that I had heard. Tina had only just arrived. It could not have been her at the breakfast table earlier, or in the bathroom while I was in the shower.

Am I losing my mind?

*****************************

Sonia, Tina, and I waited together for the schoolbus. A cool, springtime chill penetrated the air, refreshed with the ozone generated by lightning from the passing storm. There were several puddles of rain in the streets and along the sidewalks. When I saw Tina shiver, I took off my windbreaker and put it over her shoulders. Sonia giggled as I did it. My sister put on her own sweater and also giggled.

“What now?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing!” my sister answered. Both girls giggled at me.

A slight wind blew. I crossed my arms and flexed them, feeling my armhairs stand on end. Tina pulled my windbreaker around herself more tightly. Sonia buttoned her sweater up and once again, they broke into giggles.

“What is it?” I implored.

They just giggled more.

The bus pulled up next to the stop and they boarded. They took seats near the middle, Sonia in a left aisle seat, myself across from her in a right aisle seat, and Tina to my right in the window seat. She reached across me with her left hand taking my left hand to hold it in my lap.

We sat like that while Sonia struck up a conversation with Debbie, her red-haired friend sitting to her left in that window seat. I reached my right arm around Tina and she snuggled in closer to me. Then I closed my eyes.

Opening my eyes I glanced down at our left hands. She and I both wore on our fourth fingers matching wedding bands and engagement rings. Then I noticed that I was wearing a denim miniskirt, hose, and black pumps with two-inch heels, much like Tina’s, as if she and I were trying to wear matching clothes. Again, I broke out in a cold sweat. Then shaking, I glanced down again to see my normal jeans and sneakers.

Tina spoke up. “Are you feeling okay, Sasha?” she asked me. “You could be getting the flu with the way you look.”

“Not sure. I’ve been getting the chills all morning,” I said.

She reached into her tote bag and pulled out a pink sweater and put it around my shoulders. Across the aisle Debbie and my sister giggled. Tina still wore my windbreaker. She smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

“I hope it’s not the pills you’ve been taking for me,” she said.

Pills? I haven’t been taking any pills. Not that I know of. Did she ask me to take something? Is she into drugs?

“You’re so brave to be growing them for me,” Tina said, softly placing her right hand across my chest. “And I like the way you’re learning to match me when you dress up. That’s so sweet.”

Growing what? Today is getting stranger and stranger. I felt some itching and soreness across my chest.

“What do you mean, Tina?” I asked for confirmation.

“Well, we wore the same red top and your jeans match my skirt. It’s cute that we’re dressed like a couple.”

The schoolbus stopped for a policeman directing traffic, since the traffic signals were out. Tina pointed out to me two trucks and quite a few workmen who seemed to be in the process of repairing some damage at a power station from the thunderstorm of the night before. Otherwise, the scenery as viewed from the windows of our schoolbus appeared much the same as always.

Because of the problems with traffic signals, our bus pulled in to the parking lot at school almost ten minutes late. We disembarked as hurriedly as possible to get to our homerooms. The principal had announced that our bus would be delayed by a power outage so that we would not be counted tardy.

“Tina, I think my wallet is in my windbreaker. Would you trade it back for your sweater?” I asked.

“Thanks for letting me wear it,” she smiled back at me as we exchanged items.

“You too,” I answered.

Then Sonia’s friend Debbie spoke up. “You look cute in pink, Sasha. You should try borrowing Tina’s clothes more often.”

The girls all giggled again and I was reminded of my morning mental state.

“Tina, I think I’m going to the school nurse instead of my first period class. I’m not feeling too well at all. My guess is she’ll send me home.”

Sonia spoke up. “So you’re really sick! Should I call Mom?”

“Not until I see the nurse. I don’t really know what’s happening to me. I—I think I’m losing my mind.”

“What?” Tina asked.

“I’ve been seeing things and hearing things all morning. And I’ve been frightened by it all. I gotta see the nurse.”

“I’ll tell Mis’ess Brunswick that you’re at the School Nurse’s Office,” my sister assured me, referring to homeroom.

The bell rang and we went our ways, they to their homerooms, myself to see the school nurse.

© 2010-2013 by Anam Chara

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Comments

I love this

Andrea Lena's picture

...not content with a transformation; this goes back and forth...girl...boy...crazy...sane? And the girls keep saying confusing things...at first glance, but not crazy if Sasha is changed....I'm confused, but happily, since this has got my attention but good. Great start! Thank you!

She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Con grande amore e di affetto, Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Confusion

I wonder if it will get clearer in the next few chapters.

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Ah! A mystery to solve.

Something is going on, but what exactly has yet to be determined because it's too early to know who is gaslighting Sasha.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

This was

so incredibly different and very well written, I love the ethic immigrant addition to it as well it's just not seen much here and adds a great flavor. This has a high potential to be one of my favorites.

Bailey Summers

Spooky!

First, Sasha experiences hallucinations of him as a girl, living with his girlfriend. Then his sister starts joking about getting him to dress up in female clothing, followed by Sonia and Tina giggling over wearing Sasha's windbreaker, and again with Donna when Sasha drapes Tina's sweater around his shoulders. Add on the hallucinations about pills and an itchy chest - do they know something he doesn't?

Very puzzling, to say the least... it'll be interesting to hear the nurse's take on events (probably attribute it to some form of fever), and how quickly Sasha and Tina conspire to 'persuade' him to wear 'more appropriate' attire...

 


EAFOAB Episode Summaries

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Perhaps Sasha is

Perhaps Sasha is experiencing flashback memories that are coming to surface of things s/he has already done? Things like wearing skirts or dresses or having manicures and such. The "drugs" could be helping to causing him to see and hear things, by bringing them to the forefront of his mind. Jan

wonderful start

very different. I cant wait to see where you go with this.

DogSig.png

Sasha

littlerocksilver's picture

I think the hallucination Sasha is having is his reality, or to put it another way. Sasha's reality is a hallucination, and the reality of what really is, is breaking through. They have been changing him. He is under some sort of mind control, but it is starting to wear off. Perhaps that is what they intended.

Portia

Portia

The giggling girls

and Mum seem to know something that Sasha doesn't. And does the thunderstorm have anything to do with Sasha's state of mind?

A good start; this is one to watch.

Susie

the foreshadowing was

very well done. So sorry I did not comment on this back when I first read it

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree