The Ex-Men

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Audience Rating: 

Publication: 

Genre: 

Character Age: 

TG Themes: 

Other Keywords: 

Permission: 



785-7854320_uncanny-x-men-logo-black-and-white-x_0.jpg


On a well deserved vacation off the coast of Malta, six passengers manned a yacht headed for Sardinia and port at Caligiari, which would have been ironic if it weren't so devastating to the group of mutants known as the X-Men.

On board were five of the original mutants and their mentor, Professor Charles Xavier. As the boat drew within eighty miles of the island, a mist began to fall on the group as they enjoyed the brisk Brezza di Mare Mediterrana (Mediterranean breeze.) The mist began to thicken into a fog which quickly surrounded the yacht. This cruise was destined to be their greatest adventure…



Now Illustrated


"Quite an odd manifestation, wouldn't you say, Charles?"

Hank McCoy called from his vantage point at the helm. Professor X was sitting aft and enjoying a cup of tea with Jean Grey. As the fog drifted over the prow, Bobby fell onto the deck unconcious, quickly followed by Scott and Warren. Hank tried to steer the boat clear of the fog and had almost brought the yacht out when he too fell victim to the misty cover surrounding the boat.

After a few moments, none of the group remained conscious. It was fortuitous that all fell asleep, as the changes they were about to undergo would have been unbearably painful.

A few hours later, Jean rose from the aft passenger area and surveyed the scene.

"Che cazzo á successo?" (WTF?) Jean Grey would normally have discerned the events of the past several hours but for the throbbing in her head; a pain like no migraine she had ever experienced.

"Oh Dio, fa male?!" She nearly screamed, surprising her companions, who were only then just awakening themselves. She put her hand to her forehead, as if to staunch the pain.

"Perché sto parlando Italiano?" (Why am I speaking Italian?) A reasonable question, since even with her vast knowledge and experience she had never conversed in Italian before.

"Sá perché sei di lingua Italiana?" Bobby said as he rose...or rather as she rose, for standing on the deck was a very attractive young woman, albeit in the same usual frigid form of Iceman. She looked down at her body, forgetting that she was speaking Italian.

"Che cazzo á successo?" She screamed as her hand absentmindedly went to her right breast. Warren looked at her as he lifted himself off the deck, only to grow dizzy.

"Attenzione!" Bobbi said as her hands reached out to break Warren's fall.

"Jean, cosa á successo? Non riesco a discernere ciá che á avvenuto?" (What happened?) Professor X asked as he…she sat up in her wheel chair. Jean looked over at her mentor and shook her head. She had to will herself to speak, not in Italian, but in the English everyone understood.

"We seem to be ...well you seem have been transformed." She pointed to Scott, who only just then was sitting up, feeling weak and off balance from the added weight of two gorgeous breasts.

"Questo non puá accadere!" Bobbi cried as she looked at her reflection in the helm windscreen.

unnamed(5)_1.jpg

"Like it or not, dear friend, it did happen. The thing to determine is why and is it...permanent?" Professor X had drawn from Jean's mental defenses to reverse at least the compulsion to speak Italian!

"Credo che fosse la nebbia," Warren said, shaking her head.

"Of course it was the fog, you imbecile...Trust a blond!" Hank by now was able to assimilate and translate the Italian, being a linguist and gourmand of epic proportions.

"E 'stato cosá crudele!" Warren said as she burst into tears. Hank was never mean, and certainly this was a time to come together and not be critical. Hank patted her bosom in apology.

"We must try to make the best of things," Jean said. She smiled at Scott, finding herself strangely but wonderfully attracted to her erstwhile boyfriend.

"Yes, Jean." Professor X agreed.

"First thing...are there any extra uniforms on board?" She looked around at the team of mutants, most of whom were still somewhat enamored with their new appearance.

"Di professore del corso. Abbiamo sempre portare un apporto extra!" Of course! Bobbi remarked as she touched her cheek with a soft caress.

"Well, we should at least change clothing, shouldn't we?" Hank called from the helm. "My pants seem be falling down and my shirt is ripped!"

"Le mie scarpe ponte sono troppo grandi!" (My shoes are too big for me!) Scott said as her left shoe fell off when she took a step.

"Okay...everyone below decks. Go to your cabin and report back here in twenty minutes." Professor X said as she wheeled her chair close to the cabin door.



"Well, it seems that the fog originated from a lab on an isle off the coast of Malta, as far as we've been able to determine." Hank shook her head. The lab was experimenting on blood samples from donors in Valetta, and it seems they have been able to manipulate chromosomes. We've been changed, other than Jean here as our Y chromosome has mutated to an X variation, effectively changing us from men to women.

unnamed (3)(1)_0_0.jpg

"Mi piace il mio seno!" Bobbi said as she once again absentmindedly caressed her breasts.

"Stop that and pay attention." Jean said.

"Questo spandex rendere il mio sguardo posteriore di grandi dimensioni?" (Do you think this spandex makes my ass look big?) Warren said as she glanced over her shoulder at her rear.

unnamed (1)(2)_1.jpg

"Penso che il tuo posteriore...it looks wonderful," Jean said as she stared at Warren's behind.

"But we have to figure out what to do!" Scott said as she gazed at her long brown tresses reflected in the hatch window. By now most of the group was able to speak English. Bobbi for some reason preferred to continue to speak Italian.

"Voglio comprare vestiti e scarpe!" (I want to shop for clothes and accessories)She sighed as she looked at her companions.

"Dovremmo avere nomi nuovi!"

"There will be plenty of time for shopping, I'm afraid, as this condition seems to be permanent." Hank said as she shook her head once again.

"Si...rather, yes, Bobbi, new names seem appropriate if perhaps a bit unnerving. Stil…I've always wondered what it would be like...." Warren smiled as she realized what she had said. Her face grew crimson, which set off her long blond locks magnificently.

"So, what will our names be?" Scott asked without turning from her reflection.

"Well...it seems we have been drawn here...for a reason... uno scopo preordinato!" Jean said.

"This actually happened for a purpose?" Professor X asked. She felt feeling returning to her legs, long dormant and useless. Standing up, she pointed her toe on the deck and did a half spin, admiring the turn of her ankle. And she looked as if she had gotten younger as well.

"I shall be Professa Ilustre...Il tuo mentore Carolina Xavieria." She smiled at the clever connection between Xavier and her brilliance.

unnamed (2)(1)_0.jpg

"Glacia!" Bobbi said.

"Il mio nome á Roberta Dragone e l'amore per comprare i vestiti bello!" (Glacia..the Ice Woman who likes to buy nice dresses!)

"Bestia," Hank said with a grin...might as well stick with a winner. And I believe my name will be Dottore Richetta Fiore! Nice ring to it, don't you agree?"

"Angelica?" Jean looked at Warren who nodded." Her wings spread and grew and she looked more like an angel than ever before!

"Si...Willa Fortunato, un Angelica Bellisimo!" She piroutted and looked down almost in a coquettish way.

"That just leaves you and me." Jean walked over to her now girlfriend and drew her close. Scott pulled back and shook her head.

"Mi dispiace tanto ... io non sono un uomo piá." Scott wiped the tears from her eyes and cast her face down, too ashamed to look at Jean.

"Visione! I don't care if you're not a man any longer," Jean said as she kissed her girlfriend."

unnamed (4)(2)_1_0.jpg

"Che á cosá dolce," (Oh how sweet) Bobbi said as she brushed a tear from her cheek. Willa and Carolina and Richetta all nodded in approval.

"Mi Visione...my sweet dear Allesandra D'Estate...mi amore!" Jean leaned close again and kissed Allesandra.

"And as for me? I shall be Mirabile...Marvel Girl, Giana Cavallo to you, my dear sweet Allesandra." She pressed against her girlfriend once again, evoking a sigh from Allesandra and an unfamiliar but not uncomfortable growing sensation down below.

Df_TKboW0AIvZnj_0.jpg

"Che cosa á questo? Qualcosa di nuovo?" (Something new?) Giana felt something grow and push against her lover, who simply stated,

"Sei meraviglioso, molto meraviglioso!" (Marvelous! Very marvelous) Giana kissed her lover again and again as the girls looked on in amazement and envy.

"Dio ci benedica tutti!" Bobbi giggled as she kissed Willa.

"Dio ci benedica tutti!" (Think Charles Dickens!)

Fine!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1IcTEnDi0Y
Music composed by Ron Wassermann

The X-Men as written in the story above is the original version written by Stan Lee and illustrated by Jack Kirby as told in X-Men #1, 1963. This particular Ret-Con is my vision and mine alone, standing for Return to Confusion, which is a non-copyrighted inclination of Andrea Lena DiMaggio, and as such is up for grabs!

up
93 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Very well written, but...

I think I may need to hire an English translation! I kind of got the gist of what they were saying, but I think I may have missed the finer points.

But from what I did understand, I liked it! ^_^

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause-of-effect...but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly...timey-wimey...stuff.

My Latin

ALISON

'is reasonable but my Italian is like stale pasta.However,I got a reasonable understanding of the story and can see how it could develop.
Some what unexpected from you 'Drea,but interesting.

ALISON

The Ex-Men

I wonder if the new Professor will start dating Magneto?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

"Che cazzo è successo?" (WTF?)

LOL, that, right there, made me laugh so much! Thank you, not only for the translation, but some much needed early morning humor!

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause-of-effect...but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly...timey-wimey...stuff.

"Che cazzo è successo?" (WTF?)

I couldn't have said it any better myself!!! What a wonderfully fanciful piece to wake up to. This is something toally new and different (for sure) for us to enjoy. Thanks mom!!!

Your Brat

Ciao Bella

littlerocksilver's picture

A nice way to start the day without any strife.

Portia

Portia

God Bless Us, Every One!

joannebarbarella's picture

Tiny Tim is probably appropriate to the she-male superhero virus that is going around at the moment. Let's tiptoe through the tulips and go super-dooper shopping syndrome for something that their bums don't look big in. Macy's, Nieman Marcus and Bloomingdales are going to get ripped apart, to say nothing of Victoria's Secret which will for sure have specials on HH-cup bras and size 15 six-inch heels.

And what will their powers be? Certainly X-Ray vision so that they can gasp at their male opponents' genitals (or giggle as the case may be). Super-suction pussies so that they can reel them in and they can't escape.

I think you must develop this theme over at least one hundred episodes 'Drea and then we'll all be able to speak Italian. I do love WTF in that language,

Joanne

Much Better

joannebarbarella's picture

Than eleven years ago with the illustrations. However, my Italian is no better.

now where can I find that fog?

I wouldn't mind turning into a pretty Italian girl.

nice one, hon.

DogSig.png

Lol. I'm not a huge x-men

Rose's picture

Lol. I'm not a huge x-men fan, but one of my sons is, so I've seen most of the older movies.

I loved it!

Signature.png


Hugs!
Rosemary