Thor-girl: Wrath of a Thunder God - Part 1

Thor-girl: Wrath of a Thunder God - Part 1
Lilith Langtree

Banished to Midgard almost five hundred years ago, Thor Odinson's punishment has finally ended... only to be renewed.

Author's Note: A Retroactive Continuity, or Retcon if you will, is the altering of previously known facts in order for the universe to conform to new story lines. This is mine. The fourth in a series of stories, a followup to this universe is a retcon of The Mighty Thor in the Marvel Comics Universe. Marvel Comics owns the character and all rights associated with him/her/it.

Part One

I'd spent far too many years in Midgard, acclimating myself to the culture, losing myself in its decadence. The women were plentiful, and knowledgeable in the art of pleasing men. Perhaps that was why the All-Father was so pissed. He was stuck in Asgard with only the occasional shield-maiden or Valkyrie to warm his bed. Those warrior women only knew one way to satisfy an á†sir--missionary. After a thousand years of the same position day in and day out it's kind of boring. That's one of the reasons I left Asgard, the boredom.

Gone were the Frost Giants that used to plague the land. They were trapped in their own lands, courtesy of yours truly. The Light Elves and the Dwarves traded their wares freely with the á†sir and each other. The Dark Elves knew if they started any trouble that they would have to deal with me again. After losing half their warriors in the last battle seven hundred and fifty years ago, they'd learned their lesson. The Fire Giants were scattered across their own plains, and Hela had Niffleheim, the place for those that did not die in battle, well in hand.

In fact all of the nine worlds had become docile, thus my descent into debauchery.

According to the All-Father I had become arrogant and boastful, starting trouble where none was to be found, for the sole purpose of sating my warrior appetite. It was why he'd banished me to Midgard in the first place, to learn humility. He'd stripped away virtually all of my powers, taken my war hammer Mjolnir from my grasp, and cast me down in your midst to be one of you, almost five hundred years ago.

I traveled to and fro across continents, learning your ways, eating your food, sleeping in your houses and bedding your women. A lonely and sad tale it is, humiliating in its way. To go from virtual godhood and cast aside to live like a mortal.

Times changed, as they are wont to do, and I changed with them. I learned humility. I learned that the lowest creatures deserved respect for the role they serve humanity and the á†sir. In the twenty-first century, as you mortals count the years, I'd also learned the pleasure of extremes. I won't tell my tales of those times for that is boastful, but I will tell you that the women that entered my realm never left without being totally satisfied in every conceivable way.

My latest settlement, in the city of lost dreams, I owned an establishment where any sin that man could visit upon woman could be fulfilled for a price. They were all willing, men and women. They were all given the choice, before me, of leaving or staying. However, they were like me in a sense: lost, betrayed, in need of feeling something but the everyday reality of their never-ending lives.

A visit from the Valkyrie Rá³ta ended that for me one night. She bade me return from Midgard to the halls of Valhalla to the judgment of the All-Father. Opening a portal to Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge, we crossed into Asgard, and I stood in front of the ancient hall of warriors who died nobly in battle. Its columns and walls were made of gray stone and its roof thatched with golden shields. I'd forgotten how large the building was and how clean the air tasted. The scent of the evening's dinner lingered in the air. The smell of honey mead made me yearn for my home. However, the absence of any life, save the Valkyrie escort, troubled me.

"Prepare yourself, Odinson, much has changed since your time here," she said.

We ascended the nine steps and through the doors. The halls were empty except for one lone figure sitting at the head.

My father looked battle-worn. His mighty sword hung from his hand, tip touching the floor, bloodstained. He was still as I remembered him, shorter than I, heavy set, long and white of hair, mustache and beard. An old leather patch covered his left eye. His gleaming silver armor showed signs of wear, but it was still whole as it should be, protected by the runes of ancient magic that only he was allowed and competent enough to control.

The Valkyrie peeled off after she bowed, and left me alone with him.

"All-Father," I said with great relief and longing as I knelt on one knee.

"Get up, Thor," he rasped in his guttural voice that was so familiar yet almost forgotten in my time spent banished away. "I don't have the patience for formality this night."

I rose and presented myself to him. If I had known I'd be in audience I would have worn something more suitable, alas I owned nothing that would be proper in the halls of Valhalla. My only clothes that I'd left with had long since turned to dust.

"You've learned the lessons of humility, have you, my son?"

I nodded to him, once. "Yes, All-Father."

His single eye bored into me judging my past actions. "This you have done. However, you've learned naught else. Traded one failing for another."

My jaw clenched, but I held back an angry retort. "What would you have of me, Odin? Abandoned in Midgard with nothing but the goatskins on my back and legs, all but forgotten these last five hundred years. I am a warrior, not a woman who's meant to lay around for the pleasure of others."

His hand sifted through the tangled mess of white hair. "It is truth you speak, and it is also the reason you are here in front of me this day." His eye rose to mine, hard and angry. "Your adopted brother has broken through the barriers of Jotunheim and the Frost Giants once again roam the land in great numbers."

I almost jumped forward, but held myself. "Then give me Mjolnir and I shall have at them, All-Father."

"You shall have your hammer back, my son, but you must return to Midgard, to their defense."

My eyes widened at what he was saying. He held me off with a raised hand.

"Loki has gone there in search of you, to destroy the one that jailed him, to destroy those that you hold dear."

My hands clenched. Midgard was mine. Born of Gaea, Mother of Midgard and Odin the All-father, I alone bridged both worlds. "Do you desire his death this time, Odin?"

Despite all of Loki's treacherous ways he was still my father's adopted son. "No. Return him to me and I will deal with him."

My jaw tightened, but I nodded in acknowledgment. Afterward, I watched as he stretched out his hand and one finger, tracing a magical rune in the air. When he finished, before me, on the ground was Mjolnir, my war hammer. I reached to pick it up, but Odin stopped me.


I froze in place and returned to stand properly.

His hand waved again and I watched as another rune was carved into the air. Mjolnir glowed a hot golden color before returning to normal. Odin nodded, giving permission for me to hold on to something that was as dear to me as breathing.

"There is an additional enchantment on your weapon, Thor," he said wearily. "A disguise is needed until you ferret out Loki's location. Until such time as you return him to this hall before me, you will wear it. Consider it a punishment for your recent behavior as well. Learn something this time, my son, and do not replace one fault for another."

Looking properly scolded, I breathed evenly waiting for my dismissal.

"Iá´unn," he called out.

"Here, Odin." A blonde teenage girl stepped from behind a column to my right. I smiled at her approach. "Thor Odinson, this is a new look for you."

I glanced down at the tight black leathers I was wearing. "It is temporary, I assure you." Looking at the basket of golden apples she carried, my lips turned up.

She took one off of the top and handed it to the All-Father, then performed the same action for me. Without pausing to seek my father's approval, I bit into the juicy fruit and immediately felt young and powerful again. Reaching out my senses as I chewed, I could feel the storm clouds gathering, the lightning calling out to me along with its brothers thunder, wind, and rain. I felt whole once more. Another bite and the remainder of the apple was crushed quickly between my teeth.

I knelt once more. "Thank you, All-Father. If I may take my leave?"

Odin nodded once.

Long strides were taken by me as I exited Valhalla, into the street and out in front of the city. Calling the wind and rain to me, I lifted Mjolnir and pulled the lightning from the sky.

Five bolts arced through the air and connected with my hammer, returning to the sky just as fast. Rain pelted my anonymously manufactured leathers and my laugh echoed in the raging storm above letting everyone in Asgard and the Nine Worlds know that Thor Odinson had returned. Let the Frost Giants tremble in fear, not knowing when I would smite them. Let Loki know that I hunt for him as he for me, for I would be there, holding his scrawny neck, when judgment fell from Odin's lips, and I would revel in the satisfaction it would bring.


When I returned to my office at the club, I raised Mjolnir up and pondered the new enchantment Odin had placed on it. Nothing had changed about my appearance at that point. Until I had made arrangements for disposal of the business and its occupants, it would be annoying to activate it and not be able to so. Lightly, I set it beside my desk and sat down, hitting the intercom as I did.

"Yeah, boss?"

"Get Malcolm, send him in."

The intercom clicked off and I opened the large bottom drawer to my left to retrieve my laptop bag. Conveniences of the twenty-first century had made the transfer of wealth much easier than carrying around bags of gold and silver at my waist as in days of old. Twenty minutes on the computer and I could create a new person, a new identity as I normally would every fifteen to twenty years, lest the mortals grow suspicious why I never aged. A transfer of funds later and I would be yet another in a long line of anonymous names among the billions of people on Midgard. Then I would start my quest.

A sharp two-knock sounded at the door and it opened to reveal the manager of the club.

"Tess said you wanted to see me, Boss?"

I nodded as I printed out the needed documents from the laptop and closed it afterward.

"I'm moving on, Malcolm," I said as I stowed the computer in its bag and secured the power cord. "The club is yours. I've transferred ownership to you and the papers will be filed electronically, Monday morning. You'll be paying out thirty-percent of the net to an account I've set up to make withdrawals quarterly when you submit your taxes."

He looked down at me with a stunned face. "I… I don't know what to say."

I'd seen the face he showed me a hundred different times as I've abandoned businesses over the years. "You knew this day would come eventually. Well, today's the day."

He nodded and looked at the papers I slid over for him to sign. I haven't made any changes, but you're welcome to look them over."

He held up his hand. "I trust you, Boss. You've never screwed me over before."

I smirked a little. Actually I had, just not in the moral sense. Yes, I'd participated in every conceivable act of sexual debauchery over the last decade or so. Malcolm was one of those acts, once upon a time.

He signed the documents and I passed him the copies. "Make sure you take care of the girls and the customers like I've taught you. I'd hate to come back and find out any different, Malcolm."

The girls that worked for me did so of their own free will and they were rightly compensated for their performance, just like any other job: full medical, dental, salary, and perks of the job. Just because it was a hardcore fetish club didn't mean it had to be run like a cheap bordello. They could come and go as they wished and quit when they wanted, with a nice retirement package to go with it after serving for a their contracted stay.

A smile rose to his face. "And screw up the best deal I've ever had, Boss? Not a chance."

With a nod from me, Malcolm left and I picked up Mjolnir.


I missed the portals. By spinning my hammer in front of me, I could create a doorway to any place I'd ever been before. Considering the thousands of years I've visited Midgard and the previous five hundred I'd spent as a resident, there weren't many places I hadn't been. That particular time I just wanted to go home to my underground hideaway outside of L.A.

Setting the laptop down, I looked at my hammer once more. It wouldn't do to postpone Odin's newest penalty and concealment any longer. When the All-Father handed down punishment, it was up to the penitent to enact the deed himself. Only then was Odin assured that it had been taken to heart.

I knelt, as was the tradition upon acceptance. Setting Mjolnir head first on the floor in front of me, I tapped it lightly and willed Odin's newest enchantment into being. As expected, I felt my body shift form. It wasn't painful, however I could feel major changes taking place, and the knowledge flow into my mind of two separate forms: one for my disguise and another to represent the God of Thunder until such time as Loki was captured and given to Odin for judgment. The odd part was that they were both similar female forms.

With an accepting sigh of mild annoyance, I opened my eyes.

It was true that at one time, I would have been in a rage at what had been done to me. In Asgard, while women were warriors as well, they were also subservient to men. Men were more powerful and the powerful led the gods. However, due to my experience over the last few decades on Midgard, I also knew that there was no shame in being a woman.

I had great respect for what they had accomplished, but I also held them as below me. Perhaps that was the lesson Odin wished to teach: equal respect for all people, no matter their gender.

Mjolnir was gone and in its place on my right wrist was a bracelet made of silver links with a strand branching off by itself. Hanging from that strand was a miniature copy of my hammer, no more than an inch in length. My clothing had changed along with my body, both being decidedly female. The black latex shirt I was wearing turned blue and shifted to cover the full length of my arms instead of ending halfway down my biceps. The neck also stretched up to encase everything below my jaw. By the way the top stretched across the two breasts, flatting them, I could tell I was rather well endowed. If they stuck out that much under the constricting material I wasn't looking forward to seeing how big they were when freed.

The leather pants were now tighter and form-fitting all the way through the ankle, with little zippers on the outside so I could take them off when needed. The thick leather boots were gone and in their place were cage style high heels.

I recognized the outfit immediately. It was the same one that the girls at the club wore when on duty entertaining clients on weeknights. I suppose I should have been grateful that Odin hadn't chosen the weekend uniform. As it was, I'd have to acquire a decent jacket to be taken seriously. People look at women in latex a lot different than they do men. Dressed as I was before, I looked threatening, intimidating. If I tried to conduct business or threaten someone in the body I was wearing right then, I'd have to compete with the distraction of them dealing with their own hard-ons.

That would make my job harder, but not impossible. I still felt the strength in my bones and muscles. It was considerably less than that what I was used to, but still much more than any human walking the planet.

Bracing myself, I stood up and found my balance quicker than I would have imagined. The heels were four inches tall. I chose the uniform myself. Knowing all the particulars was part of the job.

Even with the added height, I was still much shorter than my previous six foot six in bare feet, which I suppose was a good thing. Dressed like I was, I wouldn't know what to do being that tall and female. The only mirror I had, other than the one in the bathroom was the one in my bedroom. Making my way there wasn't anymore difficult than standing in the heels. At least the All-Father took that into account. The movement of my body was definitely different than what I was used to. Taking everything into account: the large breasts, the thin waist, and large hips, everything in concert spoke of fluidity and intent. Again, another point of punishment from Odin. I would be seen and most probably treated like a sexual object.

Without waiting to steel my nerve, I stepped in front of the mirror and gazed at the short blonde hair and seductive eyes, the plump lips and high cheekbones. It was worse than I thought.

I sighed at my just sentence. My libido as a warrior of Asgard had gotten the better of me and I would pay for it.

Turning away in shame, I crossed to my closet to find something to cover the clothing devoted to seduction until I could make it to a proper store for something less… less. That was when everything had gone from bad to worse. Odin's enchantment was reality warping in its nature. All of my clothing was already altered and the outfit I was wearing was probably one of the more conservative of the bunch. Complete latex outfits were of the majority, leather was in abundance, but if I chose the leather it would reveal a lot of skin, cleavage, stomach, and legs.

Boots with higher heels were among the majority. The only shoes were actually sandals. Closing the door, I went to sit on the bed and contemplate my fate. It wouldn't do to try to purchase other clothing and thwart Odin's sentence. I tried returning to Asgard soon after my banishment to learn humility, and Odin was not pleased. My ability to access the Rainbow Bride was stripped from me as well. If I tried to change what he'd already put into effect, then my punishment would only get worse. Considering the body I was in, I didn't want to imagine what else he would layer on top. I would accept my punishment and make the best of the situation. It was my only choice.


I left the Hummer at the club so I took the motorcycle to the leather store I frequented for my everyday clothes. Acquiring a long coat would be within the bounds of Odin's limits. If I was to search for Loki in a female's body then I would have to be armed which meant that I'd have to hide the blades I used in place of Mjolnir while on Midgard. This necessitated the need for a cover of some type.

Night had fallen in Las Vegas when I reached Paul's Leathers, half the shop was fetish wear, and the other half practical leather. They had another portion in the rear of the store that held the more adventurous things for the discriminating fetishist. At that moment, I wanted to avoid that portion, and concentrated my attentions on the ladies section.

As predicted by me, a lot of eyes turned my way and followed wherever I moved. There were a couple of guys that moved toward me, but I scowled at them to keep their distance. They got the message. However, that didn't stop J.D., the night manager from accosting me.

His eyes took in every square inch of my body before he moved in. "Can I help you find anything, Miss? We take care of Jupiter's girls very well."

Jupiter was the name of my former club, and I usually sent the girls to Paul's to initially get set up in the proper clothes. Like I mentioned before, I was wearing their uniform.

I kept the conversation to a minimum. "Jackets, long, leather, black."

He nodded and crooked a finger at me. "Right this way." Looking over his shoulder as we headed to the back of the store, he smiled at me. "We also have a wide range of dominatrix-wear if you are interested."

My eyes narrowed at him. At least he saw me as a dominant type instead of a submissive. It was the height and attitude, I deduced. Judging from how tall I was before, in relation to J.D.'s, I guessed I was topping out around the six foot range, four of which were the heels. "Just the jacket."

The back wall held an assortment of long leathers.

"Was there any specific manufacturer…"

"Leave me," I said with a disinterested snap.

He jerked then bowed a little and nodded. "As you wish, Mistress."

Wonderful, I thought wryly. He was trolling for a dominant woman. Any other time, I might have been interested in taking the new body for a test run. While I wasn't in a rush, I wanted to get the search for Loki underway and return to my male body. I wasn't a prude, far from it as a matter of fact. There was no doubt in my mind that a large amount of pleasure could be had in the body of a woman. Experiences could be had that I would probably never encounter again, but I had priorities. Loki first, vengeance second, pleasure third.

I chose a spaghetti-western cut riding jacket in black. It was long enough to hide pretty much anything I wanted. Once I found the correct size, I ripped off the tags and brought them up to the counter where J.D. wouldn't meet my eyes.

He rang me up and I produced four one hundred dollar bills for payment. In return I received a receipt and a business card with a handwritten number and the message: If a position for a submissive opens, this sub wishes to submit an application.

I looked up at him after reading the card. He kept his eyes downcast, but he was clearly paying attention. "I'll consider your request, but I will be out of town for the foreseeable future."

If I wind up possessing this body for any length of time, I will need servants, and followers to do my bidding. Being the God of Thunder is not all smiting, boasting and mead drinking. There are duties to be carried out. It was expected of the á†sir to have servants to deal with the minor duties. If servitude happened to overlap into sexual service as well, then that was a bonus that many of Asgard took advantage of, even Odin. I knew I wouldn't be punished for following his example.


After returning home, I gathered what clothes were available and suitable for traveling. Judging from what I had in the closet, it wound up being three pairs of leathers similar to what I had on, and five latex tops in various colors. Being a woman, I had no use for shaving supplies at the moment. Talcum powder and latex shine went in its place, along with a handful of underwear. A single pair of calf boots went on in place of the cage sandals I was wearing which went into the bag. The boots had high heels as well, but they were sturdier than the strappy mess that was provided in lue of my regular boots. The removable saddle bags were full and that left me room for one more bag that would secure on the pillion seat of the bike.

I kept a separate room for arms. Choosing a wide and sturdy belt, I wrapped it around the top of my hips and secured two twenty inch long fighting knives to belt and fastened the restraining belt around each thigh so they wouldn't move around. That was about all I could carry on me while riding. My double bladed battle axe went in the final bag along with the proper cleaning and oiling supplies.

A final stop at the safe I kept in the closet of that room, and I withdrew ten thousand dollars in hundred dollar bills and a additional two thousand in twenties. Anything else would have to wait until the bank accounts had transferred over into my new name, which I had to take care of before I left.

The drivers license was easy enough. A new one under the name of Tyra Gustav was set aside. Setting the computer to process the new name and the various histories into the American archive systems, I went and toured the house to make sure everything was secure for my trip. Once everything was locked, shuttered, and turned off, I returned and gave all the accounts a once-over to make sure it was done properly and then I shut the computer down as well.

The laptop bag went in with my weapons and I set the alarm and locked the door on the way out. After I secured the saddlebags, tied down the weapons bag, and adjusted the backrest I started the motorcycle and said goodbye to Las Vegas for the time being.


Mjolnir was my only lead to Loki. Grasping the miniature version of it hanging on my bracelet, I concentrated on his location. If he was in Asgard then it wouldn't have been possible, but on Midgard, I was the most powerful á†sir; only the All-Father stood a chance against me and even that was in doubt when I was at my full strength and glory. Finding a sole Asgardian on Midgard was simple with my mystical hammer.

"Damn baby. You lookin' for a date?"

I released Mjolnir from my grasp and looked over to the mid-seventies low rider sitting next to me at a stop light and debated with myself whether or not to kill the mortal for his insolence. Shaking my head, I gritted my teeth and looked back to the light.

I saw him out of the corner of my eye, leaning back into the car. "She's a lesbian, mano."

What made the situation even more stupid was that the guy was white. The red light looked like it was stuck, since I'd been waiting for at least two minutes already. So, I kicked out the stand and stood off.

"I think she heard you, man."

The white guy with the mouth, laughed. "What she gonna do? Suck me to death?"

Two steps and I was at the side of the car. Leaning my head halfway inside, I said, "I really hate it when white guys act like they're Mexican."

"Fuck you, bitch."

Twisting my lips to the side, I considered him and his smiling friend egging him on. "Show that dyke who's boss, 'Nando."

After making sure the other lane was clear, I leaned down and gripped the underside of the car. It was lighter than I thought. Of course, I wasn't trying to lift the whole thing, only turn it over.



Showing up your college professor in his own class is usually played one of two ways. The first is when he beams proudly at you and asks you after class to be his Student Aide/Teaching Assistant. The second is when he kicks you out of class for knowing more than he does about the subject. Guess which one got played out for me.

I really couldn't help what I knew. Having first generation American-Scandinavian parents that were very proud of their heritage predisposes their children to know as much as they did about the land of their birth. Instead of tales concerning the Greek and Roman mythologies that most Americans learn in school, I was raised on Norse Mythology, the Prose and Poetic Edda's, Beowulf, you name it.

My room at home was even decked out with Norse memorabilia. I was a fanboy, what can I say. That doesn't mean I was a dork. There's a difference between privately geeking-out over something that gets you intellectually stimulated and wearing pointy ears to a movie premiere because you are a Lord of the Rings fan and think you're an elf.

Due to my genetic background and my devotion to physical fitness, I rarely experience fatigue after my mattress-curricular activities. With the ability to quickly recover from the post-coital somnolence that most guys experience, I'm fairly well thought of with the co-ed population of Kansas State University. The previous night, for instance, five times with no more than three minutes between sessions. I really didn't think the girl on the receiving end of my stamina made it to class that morning, or if she did, she wasn't very comfortable sitting in the hard chairs.

There were some girls that thought I was a player, but I flatly denied that accusation. I tell them up front what I'm about, they just don't get it. A lot of girls think they are the one that is going to tame me and make me settle down with only them. Whenever we make it back to her place or mine after a date, I let them know that I'm not a relationship kind of guy and sex is what it is, sex, nothing else.

That pretty much explained the looks I was getting from a few girls at the Chick-fil-a as I sat down to partake of a breakfast sandwich.

Two were eying me with hunger on their faces, one ignored me -- I think she was a lesbian -- while three others had barely contained hostile looks. I remembered two of the three, in fact I remember two out of the three very well considering I had them at the same time.

Ahh, good times.

The two girls that looked interested were talking amongst themselves, occasionally looking up at me and giggling.

Well, who really need to go to classes that day anyway?


It was my third threesome in memory, and quite satisfying if I may say so, especially since it was outside, well sort of. Amber and Ashley, I think their names were, took me to some abandoned Pawnee caves that were used for Sweat Lodge rituals back at the beginning of the last century. Considering the snow outside, it was perfect.

I was leaning up against one of the sitting stones, still slick with sweat from my latest exertions. Amber was -- I guess it was Amber -- was passed out beside me, and Ashley, I suppose, was curled up next to her with a contented smile on her face.

The room was circular, maybe ten to twelve feet in diameter. Lots of different cave paintings decorated the walls, not to mention a little graffiti. It was an awesome find, the cave I mean. There was nothing like building a strong sweat while having sex. It was almost like a workout, letting you know that you were doing something worthwhile.

The girls had brought a few blankets along so we didn't have to wallow in the dust and stone of the floor. Planning ahead wasn't one of my strong suits. I was more of a take things as they come kind of guy. It had worked pretty well thus far and if I had learned one thing during my life, it was, don't try to fix it if it isn't broke.

After perusing the walls, and finally cooling down, I heard the beginnings of a storm brewing outside. I woke the girls and got dressed. We'd taken separate cars to the caves and after giving my thanks for a wonderful morning I bid them adieu and bailed.

Winding my way through the caves, it wasn't long before I reached the surface and looked at the dark clouds rolling in. The wind had picked up to maybe thirty or forty miles an hour making me clutch my jacket tight around torso. Growing up in Kansas everyone knew not to take storms for granted especially those that involved high winds. Before you knew it, a simple thunderstorm could turn into a tornado and screw your day up for weeks. The problem was I was in the middle of nowhere and the only shelter that was around were the caves.

A crack of thunder sounded and I felt it vibrating through the ground at my feet.

Not good. The caves it was.

The girls ran hand in hand toward their car. I tried waving them down, but they blew me off, choosing instead to take their chances in a high speed attempt to make it back to school. It was a smarter move to wait it out underground. The caves had obviously been around for over a hundred years and if they survived intact then they were solid enough to withstand even the strongest winds.

Right before I went underground I heard tires screech and looked toward the highway, which was about three or four hundred yards from my position. Cars were slamming on their brakes and people were jumping out to look up into the sky.

Another clap of thunder sounded and I winced, because it sounded like it was directly overhead. Looking up I thought I'd crap my pants. A few hundred feet above me were two figures floating in the air. One was wearing green and yellow with two gigantic horns sticking out of his head and the other was a chick with wings for ears, holding a...

"Is that a hammer?"

She brandished it at the horned guy and a lightning flew from the clouds striking him dead on. I tensed when the enviable crack of thunder sounded virtually at the same instant. What happened next was something that I wasn't expecting.

Normally when someone gets zapped by a lightning bolt, they turn into a fairly crispy critter, but that didn't happen. Instead the lightning rebounded off of the horny green guy and hit the girl instead. Then she simply disappeared. It wasn't until the light that was burned into my retinas faded slightly that I noticed the hammer, obviously the only thing that was left of her, falling. The bad part was that it was heading straight toward me.

Still halfway out of the hole in the ground that led down through the cave's entrance, I turned and leaped the ten or so feet to the bottom. Another crack rent the air and it wasn't from any atmospheric phenomenon. It was my ankle snapping.

White hot pain course though my leg.

"Oh god, I'm gonna die."


It missed me by mere inches, the hammer that is. A tremor that felt strangely like an earthquake rolled me to the side in time to avoid the cave in. All light disappeared. The resulting collapse of the entrance stirred up dust and small fragments of rock pelted me.

I pushed away as best as I could under the circumstances, covering my head and face in the process.

A few seconds later and everything came to a halt. It was nearly impossible to breath as I was choking on the dust. Raising my tee shirt over my head, I spat out the grit in my throat and used the shirt to filter out the worst of the mess floating through the air. My eyes were stinging and the worst thing of all was that nobody knew I was there. I was effectively buried alive.

It took forever for the dust to settle enough for me to ease my shirt down and take blind inventory of my surroundings while in a semi-panicked state.

Of all the times to not be a smoker and carry around a lighter, that situation was the worst. Instead I remembered my cell phone and fished it out of my pocket.

Light! There wasn't much, but it was light all the same.

I panned it around and saw the small tunnel that led to the surface was pretty much half-filled, but didn't spill out into the cave. Dragging myself closer, I looked up and saw why. A single piece of rock blocked the entrance about halfway up. Even if I had both my ankles in perfect working order there was no way I'd be able to budge something that big.

Checking the signal strength on my cell, I noted the message scrawled across the screen. No Signal. I was dead. It was just a matter of time.

My ankle was throbbing and I could already feel it swelling. There was nothing in the general vicinity that would serve as a decent splint, and even if there was, where would I go?

The soft blue glow of my phone revealed the hammer that somehow caused all of the destruction in the first place. Five feet away from me, it sat on end, with it's handle pointing up in the air, mocking me.

Don't ask me why I dragged myself toward the thing. Maybe it was anger and my need to lash out that drove me to it. It was ancient looking the head was maybe a foot and a half wide and half as much deep and tall, looking like it was forged a thousand years ago in it's simplicity. The short handle ensured it was one handed tool or most probably a weapon. A war hammer of ancient design.

The first thing that came to mind was...

No, that's stupid.

A healthy leather thong wound it's way around the grip and formed a loop big enough on the end to slip over a large hand and hang on the wrist so it wouldn't accidentally be dropped. That's when I realized that my anger and hopelessness had gone. In its place was curiosity, which made me reach out for it. It was nothing special, I determined as I pulled it toward me.

"Heavy thing aren't you."

I thought it weighed a good thirty pounds. The damage it could do in battle would be enormous. Leaning up against the closest wall, I pulled it into my lap. There were no logos, or manufactures markings, nothing that I could see in the dim light of my cell that gave any clue as to its maker.

Slipping my hand through the leather loop on the end I gripped the handle and lifted it into the air. It was awkward and top-heavy, wavering slightly as I tried to adjust for balance through my arm. Maybe it was coming down off of the adrenaline high I experienced only minutes before, but I was feeling tired and let the hammer fall to the side, striking hard against the stone floor.


The pain and exhaustion I felt was gone, but then again reality, as I knew it, took a vacation as well.

The cave was lit up like I hadn't seen it before. It was like a natural light was emanating from somewhere, I just couldn't tell from what direction it came. It wasn't like someone could just flip a switch in a cave in the middle of nowhere.

Deeper within one of the offshoot tunnels, I heard the sound of footfalls, tiny rocks and dust being ground against the hard stone floor. Reactively, I scrambled to my feet, forgetting that I had a broken ankle. The thing was, it didn't seem to be broken anymore, or at the very least it supported my weight and didn't hurt.

The hammer that hung loosely in my right hand seemed much lighter, almost like it wasn't there at all.

With my back against the wall, I allowed my eyes to track to one of the three tunnels I figured someone was approaching from.

"Who's there?" My voice resonated back to me in a mild echo, receiving no answer right away.

"Harald Carlson," a deep voice called out before the body connected to that voice appeared at the mouth of the tunnel. He was big, really big.

I wasn't short by any means of the imagination. I stood six-two, but this guy was almost half a foot taller than me. The really other big difference was the shear bulk of the man. Muscles upon muscles defined every square inch that was uncovered by something that looked like sheepskin. Blond hair was trailing passed his shoulders and sections of it were even braided to keep it out of his face.

Ice blue eyes bored into mine with such an intense stare that it made me want to back away. The problem with that being I had the wall of the cave at my back already. Instead, I dropped my eyes and was surprised to see he was holding a duplicate of the hammer that was currently in my own hand.

"You are the first to living being, since me, to hold Mjolnir," he said as he appraised me.

I recognized the reference almost instantly. Mjolnir was the weapon of the God of Thunder. "You're..."

He slowly blinked and turned to examine his surroundings. "Thor Odinson, yes." A frown appeared on his face. "Welcome to my prison."

I shook my head and gripped my temples between the fingers of my free hand. "I'm hallucinating. The pain; I must have passed out."

The Thor-hallucination sighed. "I wish it were so, mortal, however wishing is nothing but regret and envy manifesting itself as one. The truth is my adopted brother and I were in the midst of battle and I underestimated his control of the Ancient Runes that are the rightful purview of the All-Father. I have paid for my lack of foresight and eagerness to strike him down with... this." He brought both his hands out in disgust at his surroundings.

Something wasn't sitting right, and it was probably my overactive imagination and knowledge of Norse Mythology. "If you were Thor then you could smash your way out of here, through there." I pointed up the cave's blocked entrance.

He glanced in the right direction, but shook his head. "We are not in the caves where your mortal body is trapped, Harald Carlson. Instead, we are inside the war hammer that you hold in your grasp, where Loki has imprisoned me against my will as he was once imprisoned in the land of his birth."

Running my hand over my face, I chuckled at the absurdity of what he'd said. "Man, my imagination is working overtime with this one."

Thor roared his anger at me and in the blink of an eye he was holding me up by my neck against the wall. "Do you feel my hand as it squeezes the life out of you, mortal? Listen, and heed my words well, for if you do not, then those of Midgard are surely doomed to a life of slavery. That is if they survive at all."

It felt like my head was about to pop off before he released me and I crumbled to the floor, gasping for air.

"Loki knows that he cannot wield Mjolnir, though he lusts to feel it's grip in his traitorous hands. It is my weapon and the focus for my power. With it, I am nigh invincible." He stopped and his eyes were downcast. "Or so I thought."

Struggling to sit up, I rubbed at my raw throat and just watched and listened.

"I recognized the Rune he cast as as a variation of the same weighed upon him and his lands by my father." Turning back to me, he pointed the head of his hammer at mine. "With Mjolnir I have a way back into Midgard. Even Loki is not strong enough to interfere with its enchantments."

I released my grip and tried to withdraw my hand from the thong. "Take it then and get us out of here."

"Nay," said Thor. "I am sufficiently trapped within, only to truly be released by Loki himself. I fear that will never happen."

Kneeling down, he pressed one knee onto the floor and pointed his hammer at me again. "However, you, Harald Carlson, you can be my avatar on Midgard. Through Mjolnir, I can lend you my power and knowledge, enough to defeat Loki and bring him before Odin for judgment. Perhaps he can force Loki to release me."


"Yes!" he voice boomed. "Loki still resides above, this very moment, engaged in battle with Midgard's defenders. However they will not be a match for his magic. Eventually he will defeat them, and when he does, he will subjugate the race of humans under his thumb, solely to spite me."

He made a very charismatic speaker, but the logic of the point still told me it was all a very vivid dream brought on my pain and shock. "Fine, sure, whatever. I'll do it, but I need to get out of here first. Make that happen and I'll be your avatar."

Thor's face set in slight amusement. "You still doubt. Very well. In order to release you from your eventual death and me, temporarily, from my prison, you must deliver a sharp blow to the ground beneath you. Fair warning, mortal, once you accept the power of Thor into your body and mind, you will be changed and we will be one until such time that Loki or the All-Father may release us."

I blinked at him. Right. "Okay, whatever."

Thor held an hand out to me and pulled me to my feet with no effort whatsoever on his part. "Now! Strike the ground."

I glanced at the hammer in my hand and prepared myself for one hell of a disappointment to come from my Thor-hallucination. Crouching slightly, I brought the hammer up and slammed it into the ground.


The world shuddered.

The ground, the ceiling, the very air trembled with the force of the blow. Something, I don't know what, flowed through me. It was akin to floating in the ocean and being overcome by a large wave engulfing my body and soul.

Swaying backward, I caught myself before falling completely over.

The fatigue I'd felt earlier, the pain of my broken ankle, the tight feeling in my chest from inhaling god knows how much dust, was gone.

Stand, Harald Carlson, for you have the power of Thor!

There was that damn voice again. I was still hallucinating. Opening my eyes, I was met with a sight that I wasn't expecting.

"What the hell?!"

I gave you fair warning about the changes, former mortal.

I had tits!

"Warning? Are you kidding me? Changes means some more muscle or maybe a hairstyle, not my fucking gender!"

Enough! Your allies are losing the battle. Your ego will have to wait until a later time for you to regret your choices. Lives are on the line. Do you not understand this you ungrateful whelp!

My grip tightened around the handle of the hammer and I squeezed. "Dammit!"

Spinning around I looked up into the entrance of the cave. "How do I get out of here?" I spat.

You are now Thor, Harald Carlson. Gaia was our mother, the Earth her domain. No harm will befall you from that which is hers. Strike the rock and be free.

Glancing at the hammer...


I lifted an eyebrow then grimaced. Glancing at Mjolnir, I reared back and slammed it into the center of the large slab, sealing my prison. Again the surrounding area shuddered, but the slab of rock shattered, sending large chunks into the air and the rest exploding around me.

Rain pelted me and if it was possible to feel more energized than I was...

Call the storm!


Think! The knowledge is there. Lift Mjolnir and call the storm to you. It is your power that feeds it. Wind, rain, lightning, thunder are your purview. To battle! For the glory of Asgard and Midgard! To Battle!

Thor's words reverberated through me. Feeling like nothing on Earth or in the heavens could harm me, I held Mjolnir high above my head pulling the rain, and wind. Up I shot, out of the cave entrance and into the sky. Buoyed on currents of wind I floated in place momentarily.


Several bolts arced from different points in the sky, impacting Mjolnir and the war hammer sent them back from wince they came.

From high above the field of battle I spotted the yellow and green outfit I knew, from Thor's memories was Loki. The warriors that fought against him were, noticeably, all women, two of which could be no more than mere girls.

I did recognize the Green Lantern and Terra from television, but not the third. Terra was on the ground, either knocked out or simply unconscious from some wizardry of Loki's creation. Green Lantern was holding her own, but not making any progress, and...

"Oww, that had to hurt."

The blonde girl in a red, white, and blue costume had just been catapulted into the air, toward the highway.

Loki took advantage of the situation and leaped into the sky, away from the fray, but closer to me.

Lightning! Thor called to me

"Isn't that what got you into this mess in the first place."

Nay. Loki was protected by the rune he had just cast.

A memory flashed before me and the knowledge that he was correct. The rune would have lost its power after a short time, it's creation was used for a specific purpose, and that purpose had already been served.

Without any effort I raised Mjolnir and aimed it at the yellow and green streak, calling on the heavens above to let loose with everything they had. Multiple arcs instantly appeared across the sky and pelted Thor's adoptive brother.

I dove, willing the winds to bring me to his position as quickly as possible.

I wasn't exactly sure what they fed Norse gods to make them so tough, up in Asgard. A human would be reduced to dust after being struck by so much energy, however Loki was merely stunned. It was enough for me to use Mjolnir in it's original intended fashion. Pulling back, I swung with every ounce of power I possessed, but it never connected.

He was gone.

Spinning in the air, I looked around. "Where is he?"

Use Mjolnir. Sense his presence on Midgard.

I did as instructed, but there was nothing.

"Hold! By the authority of the Green Lantern Corps I order you to lay down your arms!"


Ignore her. Concentrate harder. We must find Loki.

I closed my eyes and pushed with whatever it was that made Mjolnir hunt down the cause of my current situation. Still he was nowhere to be found.

Thor screamed in a rage inside my head. He's gone to one of the other eight worlds or found a way to mask himself.

I opened my eyes to find myself encased in a green globe of energy that seemed to be emanating from Jade's right hand. "What the..."

"You are under arrest. Drop your weapon, now."


Pic Credit: Marvel Comics found on Comicvine

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