The Swan Chapter 10

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The Swan

Chapter Ten
Both a Little Scared

A Musical Celebration
by Andrea Lena DiMaggio

It's gotta be hard to try and be
everything you want to be and
everything you used to be and
everything everyone else wants

 


 
Previously

"I am Anne Marie Mangano!"

“I am Anne Marie Mangano!” They said almost as a prayer as all three held hands. A few voices yelled,

“Shut up and sit down,” from the back of the church.

“I am Anne Marie Mangano!” The tall girl stood. She was plain looking, but her countenance was one of sweetness and kindness; some would say angelic. Moira McKenna spoke for the very first time in her life, and it was good. Her sisters stood up and repeated,

“I am Anne Marie Mangano!” The twins almost sounded harmonic as they said it in unison. Gasps filled the air as the pastor spoke once again. Maureen stepped into the aisle and walked up to join Annie and Andrew.


The McKenna Home a few weeks later

"Are you okay....sis? Gee...I just love saying that." Maureen smiled and kissed Moira on the cheek. Archie struggled with the newness of his sister, and missed his brother; failing to realize the two were one in the same.

"Gee...I just love saying that!" He sang in a falsetto and added in a near perfectly pitched alto, "Oh where oh where did my brother go, oh where the fuck did he go?" Maureen shot him a glare. Moira looked up and half-frowned.

"I'm right here, Arch...I didn't go anywhere," she said in a perfect high tenor, but in a reasonably authentic girl's voice. After all, she was a reasonably if not perfectly authentic girl, as her father would say.

"I know...I just miss what we had. I don't like this, but I guess I'm going to have to deal with this shit, between her and Andy," he said as he pointed to Maureen, "and Col and her GURLLLL friend."

"Deal with it Arch..." Her voice trailed off as she shook her head and cried.

"I know this is hard, but..." Maureen expected Moira to take her side, but was surprised when her sister continued.

"I've known about this part of me since I was thirteen...his age. He's only had three weeks to get used to this," she used her hand in a broad gesture. Archie was used to Jimmy wearing jeans and a tee and Pumas and a ball cap. He wasn't used to Moira wearing a denim skirt and a pink shell and studs in her ears and sandals and blush.

"And he's afraid he'll turn out just like you, since you're his idol." Colleen said as she grabbed a Snapple Diet Raspberry Tea out of the fridge. She wasn't being sarcastic, but was sincerely trying to understand her brother. He didn't take it that way and practically shouted,

"The fuck I am..." Tears filled his eyes, belying his protest and Moira shook her head and smiled at him.

"He's missing me even though I haven't gone anywhere. I still love the Colts and hockey, but this is who I am. I'm not your brother, but I'm the same sib you've always looked up to...maybe just a little higher now that I wear heels." He laughed softly but Archie wasn't convinced.

"I don't care... I don't mind you, whoever the fuck you are, but it's like my brother died and nobody fucking cares how much it hurts." Archie rarely cried. He wept when his mother died, but struggled like most thirteen-year-olds with expressing emotions other than anger. Here he had no problem and cried like he had never cried, even when his mother died. He expected her death after a nearly two year bout with leukemia. Jimmy's death was sudden and from his perspective tragic, since he 'died' too soon.

Maureen walked over and kissed his cheek and whispered,

"I'm so sorry...it's okay....I love my new sister but a lot of me misses Jimmy...you're not alone, honey." He looked up and stared at her in unbelief.

"Really?" He sniffled.

"Yeah." Colleen said as she came over and hugged him.

"It's like when anybody changes, Arch...we miss what they were and maybe we like what they become, right?" She looked over at Moira who was feeling horribly and unnecessarily guilty.

"There's even part of me that misses Jimmy, too." Moira said as she wiped her face with paper towel. I think anybody who goes through this is going to feel funny and maybe miss a little bit of who they were, but this is who I am, Arch. I'm so sorry to be a disappointment." She began to weep and Archie looked at her for the first time, not as his former brother, but like she was the sister he had all along.

"Hey...if you were such a great brother, I guess you'll be the best big sister ever," Archie shrugged his shoulders and grinned an impish grin. Maureen and Colleen both looked at each other and smiled.

"Hey....no fair...what about us?" Archie looked between the three and shrugged his shoulders. He wiped his own tears from his face with his sleeve and laughed.

"So sue me...you can take turns!"


"Moira?" Maureen walked into Moira's makeshift bedroom in the den. Archie actually lucked out because when he 'lost' a brother, he not only gained a sister but he also gained his own bedroom. Moira looked up from her mandolin and smiled.

"I've got something I'm working on, but I need some help. She held up a notebook and shrugged her shoulders.

"You're stuck on a chord? Need some help with the bridge? Mo...you haven't asked me for help in a while and I saw you with your guitar on the porch last night." She shrugged her shoulders. Their relationship had changed suddenly with Moira's beginning and Jimmy's abrupt end; Mo wasn't used to having a big sister to go to and Moira had no clue how to be a big sister.

"Yeah...but something more. This has to be special...it's..." She looked away and sighed.

"For Annie? Birthday present? I understand."

Moira wanted to understand but she had no clue. Her relationship with her girlfriend had gone south last year and when she finally allowed herself the luxury of being herself, she began a relationship with Ben Colavito. Since the 'coming out' at Grace and Peace Fellowship, Ben had backed off. He wanted a "normal" relationship with a gay boyfriend, not a girlfriend, which even Archie noted was sadly ironic.

And Moira was confused and oddly feeling guilty about wanting be be the young lady she knew she was but still feeling a strong attraction to girls; almost even stronger than before she had decided to become Moira full time. So answering questions and giving advice to her sister was confusing and she felt ill-equipped.

"Moira? Is sixteen too soon to fall in love?" Maureen shrugged her shoulders yet another time in question. I mean...Romeo and Juliet were kids, weren't they?

"I don't know. I thought I loved Iris Chang....I didn't but I thought I did. I'm sorry, Mo, but you came to the wrong guy...girl." She grimaced at the word and she shuddered. Biting her lip she turned her head but continued.

"I made a mistake, didn't I? This is so..." Maureen stepped closer and took the mandolin from Moira's hands and placed in on the desk. She sat down next to her and pulled her closer. Yet another McKenna child was learning how to cry.

"I think the only mistake you made was waiting so long. It's gotta be hard to try and be everything you want to be and everything you used to be and everything everyone else wants. I think Archie is right....you are the best older sister ever!"


Tally's Restaurant, Beaverdale, Iowa

The party was in full swing. Both Mangano families and the McKennas plus the odd assortment of friends of all the girls were just into the birthday cake when Maureen stood up and climbed onto a chair with a water glass and a fork. Tapping the fork against the glass like the "kiss" signal at a wedding reception she smiled as everyone turned their attention to her. She nodded at Colleen and Moira who opened their cases and brought out their mandolin and guitar. She smiled, but there were tears in her eyes. She stepped down from the chair and joined her sisters before saying,

"I wanted to do something special for Annie. Today we.... today is her..her sixteenth birthday." Maureen began to shake. Colleen stepped closer and grabbed her hand and squeezed. Maureen looked at her twin and smiled.

"Today is her sixteenth birthday but it's....it's also her first birthday." Dina yelled, "Amen," which was both welcome and fitting after the day at church only weeks before.

"I wanted do something that was fitting for both days, you know?" She looked over at Annie and their eyes met. It was likely the most special moment between the two, rivaling their first kiss in fourth grade behind the cafeteria and their first "kiss" after their first date as Annie and Maureen.

"So...wwwith...." She turned struggled with the words and Moira nodded.

"What my baby sister wanted to say is best said in song, so without further ado, I give you...The McKennas." Archie shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "Nobody asked me," and Kellan beamed as only a proud father with three lovely daughters can.

(Imagine three lovely voices; soprano, mezzo soprano, and alto together singing to the tune of Beauty and the Beast)

Life begins right now

being who you'll be

I love the girl you are

and you're happier by far

Oh so blessedly!

 

See how much you've changed

lovely now to see

we were both so scared

I'm so glad you dared

You're my Anne Marie

 

Looking at you now

with all my love for you

Finally you've seen

who you should have been

an image finally true

 

Life is what it is

Even as they say

Bittersweet at times

Inspire-ing sad rhymes

yet more than that it's true

 

Certain as my heart

knows that life is new

What you've brought to me

it's oh so plain to see

Forever Me and You

 

The best is yet to be

Forever You and Me

You’re my Annie Marie


A bit later
Most of the guests had left, leaving just the Mangano families and the McKennas. Annie and Maureen were sitting in the corner kissing and Dina was sitting with Colleen drinking coffee with the parents. Moira was gathering up presents and sundry when Archie came up and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey...somebody wants to talk to you.....Sis." Archie half-smiled before turning and walking over to the others. Moira turned to find a girl of about eighteen. She would have been a look-alike for Hilary Swank sans makeup but for her long Jet-black hair. She smiled and spoke nervously.

"Hi...I heard you playing with your sisters." Moira nodded and smiled. The girl held out her hand and shook Moira's hand while saying,

"My name is Mika...Mika Streeter...and you're a McKenna...I heard that much plus your sister's lovely song. You all sang so wonderfully. Very nice harmony, especially at the bridge." She smiled and Moira smiled back nervously.

"Moira...You play?" Moira almost croaked, trying very hard not to sound like her former self, which actually made things worse. Mika smiled again.

"Flute and oboe, and of course I love to sing. Well, I'll let you get back to your family." She smiled and walked away quickly, waving at a small group by the exit. Moira returned to getting the families' things together. She walked over and sat down and grabbed the pitcher of ice water from the table, pouring herself a glass. Colleen came over and sat down. She had a grin on her face and a piece of paper in her hand.

"Hey sis... this was a great night, huh? I think it just got better." She kissed Moira on the cheek and handed her the paper before heading off in Dina's direction. Moira opened up the paper and read the note...

Dear Moira, I'd love to get together and play sometime...of course with you and your sisters, but especially you! Love, Mika

She signed Mika with a heart over the 'i' and she included her phone number. Moira stared at the paper until the girls came over.

"Hey big sis, whatcha got there?" Maureen asked. She already knew because Colleen had told her. Moira handed her the paper and looked up.

"So...pretty cool, huh?" Dina asked as Annie nodded. Moira looked back between her sisters and the girlfriends before bursting into tears. Archie had wandered over and had heard the exchange. And he did the bravest but most natural thing a brother could ever do for his new sister. He leaned over and pulled her face closer and kissed her on the cheek awkwardly before saying,

"It's okay...Sis...it's okay."

Next: Taking Wing!


based on Beauty and the Beast
theme from the movie of the same name
words and music by
Alan Menken and Howard Ashman
as performed by
Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n_5xo9YpmQ

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Comments

It's okay--Sis---it's okay !!

ALISON

Thank heavens,Archie has finally grown up.Thank you so much,'Drea, for this superb story.

ALISON

Hey, Archie's Intelligent!

This story gets better and better. All I ask is for more.

Wren

This was a

really sweet part of the story, I like the gentle romance that you're able to create. Like literary cotton candy, it seems you spin it out of thin air.

Bailey Summers

Sibling relationships

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

You were very close to home a few times with this chapter and particularly with the redefining of sibling relationships. You manage to bring an insight to this that is often overlooked in TG stories. And more B&B music!! It might have been a chapter without the drama of the previous one but it still packed an emotional force to it. Well done, as always Andrea.



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

The Swan Chapter 10

Love the Family bonding and the lyrics for the song.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

missing the boy self

'"There's even part of me that misses Jimmy, too." Moira said as she wiped her face with paper towel. I think anybody who goes through this is going to feel funny and maybe miss a little bit of who they were, but this is who I am, Arch.' a perfect note. change is hard, and this kind of change might be the hardest, and I agree with her that one could miss the boy they were, even as the enjoy being the girl they are.

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