The Summer of Love of Linda Piontak Part 4

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The Summer of Love
of Linda Piontak

Part Four - I've Cried Enough Over Me
 by Andrea Lena DiMaggio

I've cried enough
Over the priceless time I've lost
I've learn the going gets too tough
Now you regret love
I've cried enough
What you'll see on my face again
Is nothing but the rain
I've cried enough

 


Previously...

"She's still crying...oh gosh Mom...put her on the phone...yes, put ...I know...you just told me that...but I need to talk to her." She shook her head. Breaking up with Tony didn't just affect the two of them, since their mothers were each other's step-moms as well.

"Laura...Momma....please...you're a great Mom...yes....no...Yes...I'm still crying....oh gosh, Momma, it’s okay...yes...of course I still love him...I always will.

Yes....Brother...that's right....no...I know...I wish it worked out too!" Her eyes began to fill with tears. The 'missing' was getting a bit easier every day, it was the 'hurt' and the 'regret' tears that still flowed on a regular basis.

"Yes...of course...why would you think that...oh I'll always love you no matter what...yes...you're my Mom, too! I love you too, Laura...okay...bye..." She breathed out a deep sigh and wiped her face with a hand towel lying on the counter.

"She's still crying? Oh gosh, Mom! Oh...okay...Tell her again I love her. What? Okay. I'll call you Sunday after church, alright...yeah...your time, not mine. I know...Mom?" The safety of her mother's voice reached across the miles and held Linda as she began to cry again. You know, the kind of safety only a parent's arms can provide; the kind that says it's okay to cry, 'I've got you."

"When does it stop hurting?" She paused, waiting her answer but really knowing the answer already. She sighed once again and stuck her tongue out slightly in thought.

"Yes...I'm sure I'm going to be alright...I just wish I knew when. I love you Mommy." Not one to be childish, nevertheless, "I love you Mommy" was an important part of their relationship; no matter how old she'd get, no matter what job she'd take or what honor or accomplishment she might achieve, to them both, Linda would always be Susan's little girl.

All I recall is the moment
Sadness is fading away
It is for passion I'm falling
but now I'm back on my feet again
I wanna rewrite the story
Not even what seemed insane


At the Gobi Restaurant, Brooklyn, New York…

"Over here," Linda heard the call from the large table; Annette Perugino motioning her over with a friendly wave. The table was crowded. Ali, Annette's TA sat next to Nora, his girlfriend. Rosa, one of the vocal teachers sat next to her brother Javier, the newest member of the faculty next to Annette. He had been teaching voice in Mexico City, but jumped at the chance to work alongside his sister.

Sandwiched between them and Annette was Melanie, late of the faculty and three weeks away from her delivery of her twins along with her husband Carmine. Rounding out the group was Annette and a man in his late twenties. He stood up as Linda approached the table, pulling his chair out from the table.

"Here, why don't you take my seat; you can talk with Annette easier that way." His voice was strong and confident, yet almost soothing, like an old family friend.

"Thanks." Linda shrugged her shoulders slightly as she sat down, looking to her right to Annette, who smiled and tapped Linda's wrist softly.

"I'm so glad you're here." Annette beamed as she looked around the table; their friends nodding in agreement. Linda followed the movement all around the table, finally turning toward the man, who smiled at her and nodded as well.

"Me, too. Hi, my name is Dave, Dave Crocetti. So glad to finally meet you. Annette talks about you all the time." Linda felt her cheeks grow warm from the attention. She wanted to say something but for some reason nothing seemed to escape her lips and her head seemed to be fixed in one place.

"Dave just got back from his third tour." Annette went to continue but Linda interrupted.

"Where did you tour? Europe?" The word "tour" was too fresh in her mind.

"Iraq." He smiled as his correction didn't make fun of her misperception.

"Ohh…" The red in her face deepened until Annette spoke,

"Dave is a conductor." Annette smiled and patted Linda on the arm.

“I met Dave when I was in rehab at Bethesda.” She eyed her empty sleeve and smiled, which amazed Linda. Annette had truly come to a peace about her loss, and was in a place of contentment that Linda could only dream of.

“I had just been flown from Germany, and I felt very alone….and this one…” she used her glance to indicate Dave.

“This one was in the bed next to me when I woke up the next morning. We’ve been close ever since.”

At the words, “we’ve been close,” Linda felt a bit crushed inside. Something about Dave had become immediately appealing. She bit her lip.

“It’s too soon…come on, Linda….” Her thoughts were interrupted by Dave’s calm voice.

“I had given up hope…like my life was over, and this one brought me both hope and joy.” He smiled at Annette, causing Linda to wince. She hoped her expression didn’t match the disappointment she felt inside. This guy was too, too good to be true and her dream was over before it started.

“I still wonder what I would have done if Annette hadn’t come along, would I even be here today?” Linda looked into his eyes and saw the embers of despair that still burned low.

“Well, I’m so glad that something happened to bring us together.” Annette looked around the table as the rest nodded in approval. Linda winced again, first at the word “us” and then at her attitude. How could she be jealous of her friend over someone she had just met? She hoped her shame didn’t show but she felt her cheeks grow warmer and likely still red.

“When I finished rehab, I found that I didn’t have to leave the service, and I was able to hook up with a medical unit back in Iraq. I’d still be in a bed in a hospital somewhere if she hadn’t made me look at myself as more than just a survivor.” His glowing report of Annette continued to both disappoint and embarrass Linda, and she put her hand to her face to check the growing warmth once again.

“I’m sorry, Dave, this is so uncomfortable, and I’m sure you get this all the time? What was your injury?” Linda asked nervously. Dave smiled with a smile that says, “Don’t worry, I’m fine,” and said,

“I’m sorry, I should have explained…here.” With that he held up his left hand, showing them that he was missing his middle, ring, and pinky fingers.

“Got shot…oh well, there goes Carnagie Hall.” He said it as calmly as someone who might be describing a new cereal they’d tried or a toaster they’d purchased at Wal-Mart. Linda looked into his eyes again, and she felt so much love for him and so much shame for herself for even thinking badly about Annette. Dave went on.

“I play...I played Violin. I was so broken; you can’t imagine what it feels like to know you’ll never again be able to do the thing you love most….I’m sorry…I presume too much….I can’t know what you’ve been through.” There it was again; such a humility…caring for the feelings of others while setting aside his own.

“I got off better than most that I met at Bethesda.” He glanced over at Annette, who just nodded and smiled and said.

“We met a fellow who lost both legs, and he was so devastated. I can’t imagine how he could cope; it was so sad.”

Annette sighed and Linda felt smaller than she had ever in her life. Here her best girlfriend had endured almost unspeakable loss and pain, never again to play piano; a concert talent that was denied.

And to see Dave in the same light? He seemed to have overcome so much; his voice was tinged with only a hint of regret, but filled with more hope than she had ever imagined would be possible in the midst of such loss. She wanted so badly to reach out and hold him, almost as much for herself as for him, as if his optimism and joy would infuse her with the same hope.

“Linda?” Dave’s voice softly interrupted her thought as he leaned closer. “Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry? What? I didn’t hear what you said.” She stumbled over the words, her face flushing with warmth once again.

“I’m okay, really,” he said softly. Linda looked around and noticed the others at the table were staring at her. She put her hand to her face and felt the tears that covered her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” She really had nothing to apologize for, but her ever-present self-conscious criticism convinced her otherwise and she continued.

“I’m…so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I seem to be crying a lot lately.”

She had been crying a lot, but this was different. Her shame over her selfishness was only outweighed by a perceived loss of something she didn’t even have; the man in front of her was simply the most beautiful human being she had ever met, and she hated that she was so jealous of her friend and ungrateful for her own blessings.

“I have to go, I’m so sorry. Thanks, Annette, but I can’t stay.”

She tried to exit gracefully but as she stood up she spilled her glass of water and bumped only slightly into the waitress who had just arrived with their food. She walked quickly to the front of the restaurant and was gone.

Annette went to stand up but Dave put his hands out, palms down.

“I think she needs to be alone right now. Why don’t you stop by or call her later?”

Annette nodded and half-smiled; still concerned for Linda. A moment later a tall woman in her thirties approached the table.

“Hey, babe, sorry, I’m late. Hi, everybody. The Collins twins took a little longer than we expected, but they’re just fine.” She leaned over and kissed Annette hello before sitting down.

“I’m sure your bambini will come out just fine, Mel. You’ve got a great guy there to help us along, right?” She smiled at Melanie and Carmine before turning to Dave.

“Hey, brother mine….” Bernice Crocetti kissed her brother on the cheek before motioning for the waitress.

How could I ever feel sorry
for being stronger than I am?
I've cried enough
Over the priceless time I've lost
I've learned the going gets too tough
Now you regret love
I've cried enough
What you'll see on my face again
Is nothing but the rain
I've cried enough


Linda's apartment, later that afternoon...

The sound of “Serenade For Strings by Tchiakovsky filled the apartment, but the playful mirth and lilt of the strings were lost on Linda as she stood in the middle of the livingroom, crying softly.

“He’s nice, Daddy…” Linda took one last look at her father’s photo before returning it to the bookshelf.

“Who am I trying to kid; he’s got Annette…a real hero. What have I ever done? “

If Linda had actually taken stock she would have remembered all the children she had given her passion to, the ones who were playing and loving Brahms and Gershwin and Brubeck. The little girl from her neighborhood who fell in love with music just from Linda’s ‘that’s it…now you’ve got it” enthusiasm.

The kid from middle school still played soccer but gave up a hope for stardom to seek solace and fulfillment in the sound of jazz bouncing up and down and all over the keyboard. Instead, all she heard was,

“I’m no good.” She was about ready to set out the cups and saucers on her table for her pity party when the phone rang.

“Oh…hi Annette…no, I’m okay…I guess I’m just having a hard time….yeah, it’s only been two weeks … no… he didn’t call me yet….I sorta didn’t expect it. What?”

Linda turned toward her front door. She walked to it quickly and opened it, finding Annette standing there on her cell phone with a huge grin on her face. Standing behind her was Dave and next to her was a woman who looked almost familiar. She scanned the woman’s face and then noticed the resemblence between her and David.

“Sorry you had to leave. We figured you needed some cheering up, so we came over. Oh, sorry…this is my girlfriend Bernice…she’s Dave’s sister.

“Gggirl….girlfriend?” Linda stared at Bernice like she had two heads.

“Yeah…you know…a friend….who happens to be a girl.” Bernice took Linda’s comment the wrong way and Annette figured out what was going on and said….

“No, honey…I think she thought your brother was my….boyfriend.” She turned and looked at Linda with an “am I right,” expression. Linda nodded.

“Oh Jeez…I see. Well…” Bernice paused and sighed, shaking her head.

“ Sorry about the attitude.” Her smile was almost identical to Dave’s as she displayed an “Why don’t we start over “look. She held out her hand but Linda seemed lost.

“Linda?” Annette followed Linda’s gaze. She was looking over Bernice’s shoulder to see Dave’s smiling face….that face.

“May we come in?” Linda nodded once again, looking somewhat dazed. Annette tapped her on the shoulder.

“Honey…Are you okay? We just wanted to let you know we care.”

“We…We?” Linda muttered as she wandered back into the apartment, her friends fairly certain she did want company after all.

Why would I try to deny it?
Most of my dreams are a mess
But what didn't kill me in fact has taught me
Life's a big game of chess
Although I believe in the future
I keep in mind all the past
Now that I live in the present
I don't care about the rest

Next: A Friend in Need


I've Cried Enough
words and music by
Lara Fabian and Rick Allison
as performed by Lara Fabian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hioUnHcOIL0&feature=related

Serenade for Strings in C Major
Movement #2

By Peter Ilych Tchaikovksy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L1QjFlnO4g

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Comments

Taking Turns I hadn't Anticipated

littlerocksilver's picture

I guess that's what makes a good writer. I had a dream the other night. I was driving a logging truck and hadn't properly secured the load. I went around a corner and dumped everything. The big problem was I couldn't stop the truck. I mashed the brakes down and the truck just kept rolling. I kinda feel that way now. The truck is rolling and Tony fell off. I don't know if I can recover Tony, and I can't stop the damn truck. I'm afraid I won't be able to get the load to where it should be going, and I can't stop the damn truck.

Portia

Portia

grief, and hope

this is a hard story, because the level of grief she is facing is painful, but there might be hope.

DogSig.png

"We just wanted you to know we care".

ALISON

It is so nice to know that someone cares for you enough to tell you and to let you know that they mean it
by visiting and giving you a shoulder to cry on-----you have so much feeling and empathy,'Drea.

ALISON

Hi Gram...just hitching a ride again...

Dear Drea...

"She tried to exit gracefully but as she stood up she spilled her glass of water and bumped only slightly into the waitress who had just arrived with their food. She walked quickly to the front of the restaurant and was gone."

OMG!!! I can remember the times I exited in such a manner and in such a condition. Who hasn't feel a wave of emotion sooo strong and over whelming that they had to leave where ever they were as quickly as they could? Is thia part of our hu(wo)man condition? Probably! Brava Drea! You've managed to strike a chord (Ab min. dem. 5th)in me yet again.

In Love Always...

Brat

The Summer of Love of Linda Piontak Part 4

Linda's friends are a treasure.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Davey, Davey Crockett. King of the Wild-

laika's picture

Oh wait, Dave Crocetti. My mistake. Maybe I should delete-

Okay fine, don't yell in my ear! Jeeez! Nice that what's his name isn't even in this chapter. I remember Linda telling him way back when in another story that his playing was technically excellent but lacked conviction. Should that have told us something? Anyway I see that light at the end of the tunnel for our heroine. Just wish she could learn to stop feeling like damaged goods, flawed somehow. Everyone can see how amazing she is but her ........ Sound like anyone we know?

~~love you, you Special Woman you. Hugs, Veronica

Emotionless Playing

littlerocksilver's picture

I asked 'Drea the same question in a PM. It's a sign.

Portia

Portia

Was It Something I Said?

joannebarbarella's picture

Or were you going to do it anyway? Hooray! She's gotta stop crying, because when she cries, I cry, and that damn Kleenex company is fast becoming the richest in the world (President Andrea Lena DiMaggio, current salary plus bonuses $100,000,000 p.a.)

Yay! Dave!

Joanne

I've been following this

I've been following this lovely little tale. What superb characterizations. I am anxiously looking forward to the next chapter.

With a little help from my friends...

Ole Ulfson's picture

I can do anything even set aside the past and look to the future. Life would be barren without our friends. It's time for Linda to seek her future and let the past be a memory.

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!