 |
The Summer of Love
of Linda Piontak Part Five - A Friend in Need by Andrea Lena DiMaggio Here I go out to see again And I need a friend |
Previously...
If Linda had actually taken stock she would have remembered all the children she had given her passion to, the ones who were playing and loving Brahms and Gershwin and Brubeck. The little girl from her neighborhood who fell in love with music just from Linda’s ‘that’s it…now you’ve got it” enthusiasm.
The kid from middle school still played soccer but gave up a hope for stardom to seek solace and fulfillment in the sound of jazz bouncing up and down and all over the keyboard. Instead, all she heard was,
“I’m no good.” She was about ready to set out the cups and saucers on her table for her pity party when the phone rang.
“Oh…hi Annette…no, I’m okay…I guess I’m just having a hard time….yeah, it’s only been two weeks … no… he didn’t call me yet….I sorta didn’t expect it. What?”
Linda turned toward her front door. She walked to it quickly and opened it, finding Annette standing there on her cell phone with a huge grin on her face. Standing behind her was Dave and next to her was a woman who looked almost familiar. She scanned the woman’s face and then noticed the resemblence between her and David.
“Sorry you had to leave. We figured you needed some cheering up, so we came over. Oh, sorry…this is my girlfriend Bernice…she’s Dave’s sister.
“Gggirl….girlfriend?” Linda stared at Bernice like she had two heads.
“Yeah…you know…a friend….who happens to be a girl.” Bernice took Linda’s comment the wrong way and Annette figured out what was going on and said….
“No, honey…I think she thought your brother was my….boyfriend.” She turned and looked at Linda with an “am I right,” expression. Linda nodded.
“Oh Jeez…I see. Well…” Bernice paused and sighed, shaking her head.
“ Sorry about the attitude.” Her smile was almost identical to Dave’s as she displayed an “Why don’t we start over “look. She held out her hand but Linda seemed lost.
“Linda?” Annette followed Linda’s gaze. She was looking over Bernice’s shoulder to see Dave’s smiling face….that face.
“May we come in?” Linda nodded once again, looking somewhat dazed. Annette tapped her on the shoulder.
“Honey…Are you okay? We just wanted to let you know we care.”
“We…We?” Linda muttered as she wandered back into the apartment, her friends fairly certain she did want company after all.
Moments later....
Annette led a dazed Linda to the couch before walking into the kitchen.
"I'll make us some coffee, okay, hon?" Annette said.
"Oh...okay." Linda looked up to see Dave smiling at her...that face."
"You left so quickly and you were so upset. We wondered what was upsetting you so much. Annette says you've been through a rough stretch lately." His voice was almost disarming and his smile coaxed her to speak.
"I just broke up with my boyfriend...." Her voice trailed off and she put her head down, as if it were something to be ashamed of.
"That's really hard. Annette and I broke up last year." Bernice said, her smile at odds with the statement, and certainly at odds with what Annette had mentioned just minutes before.
"Oh...yeah...that is a bit strange, isn't it?" Bernice continued, noticing the puzzled look on Linda's face.
"We still love each other, don't get me wrong. She's been my closest friend since I met her when Dave was going through rehab. That part of us will never change, but you know yourself how people themselves change? We're suited for love, just not each other."
Bernice turned toward the kitchen and smiled at Annette, who returned the smile with a nod. Bernice didn't catch Annette's slight frown or her shrug of the shoulders.
"When I got out of the service, I think I was really looking for someone to accept me. Dave of course did, since he knew exactly what I was going through." Annette said as she came back in.
"Coffee'll be ready in a few minutes, okay? Anyway, Bernice was there for me at a time when I was really down. Dave had gone back to Iraq by then and we sorta fell into each other." Annette said as she sat down next to Linda on the couch.
"Believe it or not, Bernice was my first love." Annette said it candidly, and her smile and tone disarmed any notion of disbelief, despite the fact that she was almost twenty-eight.
"My music was the world to me...to the exclusion of everything and everyone else." Annette shrugged and shook her head. Her face flashed a glimpse of guilt, but it was gone quickly as she continued.
"It took losing my music to help me understand what is really important. That and the love of two of my dearest and closest people. I think Dave showed me how to survive and Bernice showed me how to live." She looked at them and back at Linda.
"I'm sorry, you know enough about me already, dear. Dave, tell Linda about your big news."
"You mean about me and Justin? Bernice playfully slapped the back of his head as she stood up. She walked into the kitchen to get the coffee as Linda stared blankly at Dave.
“Me and Justin???” She thought, hoping it wasn't out loud.
"That, too, Sweetie, but first about the job?"
"Oh, yeah. Anyway....Linda, are you okay?" Linda nodded and continued to stare at Dave.
"Anyway, the officer who conducts the Marine Band is retiring, and they want me to take over. It means a promotion, of course, and....Linda, are you okay? Annette?" Annette turned and looked at Linda, who continued to stare at Dave. She nodded and half-smiled.
"I'm going to have to turn it down, of course. Three tours in Iraq is enough service for my country. Don't get me wrong, I loved the work I did and the position is a huge honor, but I can't continue while the don't ask thing is still in effect. Maybe someday but not for me."
His voice was calm and he was almost childlike in his tone; like a kid who forgives his sister for some minor offense instead of someone who was disappointed and saddened.
"Justin left last month after his second tour. He's moved back with his parents for the time being, but we'll be getting an apartment in Jersey City next month." Dave beamed at the mention of his boyfriend, leaving Linda sitting in front of him, staring.
"Don't ask...." She muttered once before fainting.
Look at me standing
Here on my own again
Up straight in the sunshine
Twenty minutes later...
Linda felt like she was in a dream. She was lying in field of clover, her hair spread wide by a nice breeze. The sound of Beethoven's Sixth Symphony, the Fifth Movement seemed to be playing, as if the strings were speaking her name. She felt the soft caress of lips kissing her cheek as she heard a voice calling softly...Linda, Linda....
“Linda? Linda ...sweetie...Linda?” She looked up and saw Annette’s smiling yet concerned face.
“Wha...what happened.”
“Not eating is what happened. Whens’ the last time you ate?” Annette took a cup from Bernice and showed it to Linda.
“Vegetable Tofu Soup from King Panda...good for what ails you, sweetie. You passed out. Have you been eating?” Linda looked down and shook her head no.
“Honey...you’ve got to take care of yourself.” She looked up and Bernice smiled. Linda smiled weakly but winced when she continued.
“You just broke up with your boyfriend whom you’ve known since??? Forever?” Linda nodded.
“And you’re feeling more than sorry, right?” Linda looked at her and winced again.
“I’d be willing to be you don’t feel good about yourself...maybe even think you’re not worth the effort...second rate?”
“Where did she get that from?” Linda thought. How could she know?
“You’re not the first person to feel damaged, honey. “ Annette interjected, looking at her empty sleeve. Of course she’d say that; who couldn’t feel hurt and damaged after going through what she had. Linda once again felt very small and bowed her head.
“See, right there is what we’re talking about.” Bernice turned to Dave who shook his head.
“Dave and I still have both our mom and dad, and they love us for who we are. Annette says you lost your dad when you were a kid, and at such an important time in your life."
“How can they equate my hurt with their loss? It just didn’t make sense.” Linda thought, holding her chin against her chest. She started to quiver and tears streamed down her face.
“I’ve known you....an hour, tops? I immediately saw two things...just looking into your eyes.” Bernice smiled, but her own eyes began to fill with tears.
“You bear the weight of the world on your shoulders; like it’s all your fault and responsiblity to fix everyone who’s ever been hurt, right?” Bernice didn’t wait for an answer.
“And your heart is filled with so much love, but so much hurt and doubt, honey.” Bernice turned to Dave, who nodded. She continued.
“You have to know that you’re just fine the way you are; there is nothing wrong with you, despite anything you’ve ever heard or even told yourself. And I ought to know how it feels to be on the wrong side of that, right?” She smiled and nodded not really knowing why as the tears still came.
“Your boyfriend left you because he couldn’t handle your heart, dear.” Linda winced until she heard her next words,
“Just being you made it difficult for him to face himself. He’s got to find himself, and it can’t be with you; you’ve already realized that, and it hurts, but it’s not you, honey, no matter what.” She was right, of course.
“Listen, you’re not the first trans-woman to go through this, and you certainly won’t be the last.” Linda was startled to the point of nearly spilling her soup. Annette grabbed her free hand and held it.
“I’m sorry, honey, but you needed another friend; someone who understands what you’re going through.”
No need to laugh and cry
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
No need to run and hide
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
“How...what...Annette...I told that to you in confidence....” She tried to protest, but something seemed oddly good...even right about Bernice and Dave knowing her secret. She looked over at them and Dave smiled.
“Linda Piontak, you’ve met my sister Bernice....meet the former Angelo Seraphino Crocetti.”
He laughed softly at the clever turn of phrase until he noticed that Annette held Linda in her arms once again as the girl had fainted.
No need to run
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
No need to laugh and cry
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
No need
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
Next: Duet
Wonderful Life
words and music by
Colin Vearncombe
as sung by Lara Fabian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFn5U1qInF8
as performed by Black
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyfu_mU-dmo
Symphony No. 6 in F major, Op. 68
"Pastoral"
composed and arranged by
Ludwig Van Beethoven
Conducted by Carlo Maria Giulini
and performed by the
New Philharmonia Orchestra.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM8RlCZP0KQ
Comments
I'm sorry honey
ALISON
'but you needed another friend; someone who understands what you are going through'. That says it all,'Drea.Thank you so much for that little piece----you are a true friend. Linda now has it all going for her and all we need is for Tony to wake up to himself.Beautiful!
ALISON
Miss Direction
OOH! You clever old thing, you! Certainly had me barking up the wrong tree.
Poor Linda! you said you'd look after her but she's going to have a heart attack if you give her any more shocks like that. OK (chortle, chortle),
Joanne
The Summer of Love of Linda Piontak Part 5
Can't help but believe that Linda's friends are about to see her smile.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Emotive
The last few chapters of this story have been very difficult to read given their emotional intensity. I'm torn between wanting to shake some sense into Linda and hug her. I remain hopeful a stronger, more independent Linda can emerge from this experience. She needs her next relationship to be on a stronger, more equal footing.
As always I remain amazed - and a little envious ;-) - at your ability to pull at the readers emotions. Wonderful writing, Andrea.
As for the music choices, I think I prefer the original by Black over Lara Fabian but its a very apt choice of music.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
“Linda Piontak, ....meet the former Angelo Seraphino Crocetti.
WOW. I cant put it any better than that, just - WOW.
A surprise around every corner...
In your stories, Andrea, Thank you. What a wonderful ride you take us on. But please, get some food in the poor girl so she'll stop fainting.
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!